


The Road Not Taken: a Breaking Dawn Rewrite

by ObsessedtwibrarianOTB



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Rewrite, Romance, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:52:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 109,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9098335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedtwibrarianOTB/pseuds/ObsessedtwibrarianOTB
Summary: Sequel to The Honeymoon: Edward's POV. A new spin on Breaking Dawn written mostly in Edward and Bella's POV. No bloody, violent birth, no Zombie Edward, no bitch Rosalie, no incompetent Carlisle, and absolutely NO Jake/Nessie imprinting found anywhere in this story. It's a kinder, gentler version of Breaking Dawn.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is complete in 28 chapters. I am not importing from anywhere, so I have to post each one manually. 
> 
> "The road not taken" represents what could have been. A single choice can define the rest of our life. Bella saved one path for another day: Jacob, who was probably the better choice. Instead she chose the path less traveled by: a vampire...Edward, for whom she gives up her humanity.
> 
> Stephenie Meyer also had two choices, two roads she could have traveled. The one she chose had Bella and Edward's marriage starting off with deception, the Cullen family divided and pitted against each other over the pregnancy, Bella and Edward going through the most horrific birth and change imaginable, and Jacob imprinting on their child.
> 
> I'm choosing a different road, and THAT is what this story will explore. In keeping with the tone of the honeymoon, I choose to let Bella and Edward experience a uniquely different pregnancy, birth and change. Jacob is a special part of Bella's life. He HAS to be in this story. He'll have his happy ending. It's just going to be much different than SM's. I'm hoping you'll leave this story with a love for Jacob, if you didn't love him already. And Bella and Edward? They will emerge from it all with a love stronger than ever.

**The Road Not Taken**

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood  
And looked down one as far as I could  
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,  
And having perhaps the better claim  
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,  
Though as for that the passing there  
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh, I marked the first for another day!  
Yet knowing how way leads on to way  
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference.

— Robert Frost

* * *

 

**Prologue**

  
"My god," I whispered under my breath as I ended the call. "Unbelievable."

"What is it, Carlisle?" Esme laid a concerned hand on my arm, her eyes worried and imploring me to explain.

Alice stood just inside the doorway to the dining room; the rest of the family were filtering in past her. When I felt everyone present, I turned to the room, faced my family and spoke words I never in my lifetime dreamed I'd ever speak.

"Bella is quite possibly pregnant."

Four of the vampires in the room went perfectly still as they digested the news. I swept my gaze over each one of them, gauging their reaction, and it was complete shock—all except for Alice and I.

Then all hell broke loose as Emmett whooped loudly, smiling from ear to ear. "You hear that Rose? We're going to have a baby in the house!" He picked up a now laughing and giggling Rosalie and swung her around in circles. I don't think I'd ever seen Rosalie as happy as she was at that moment.

"Carlisle! Are you serious?" Esme's hands flew to her mouth; her eyes sparkled with joy. She looked on the verge of breaking out in a dance, she was bubbling with so much excitement. She grabbed at my arms, smiling. "Is it really true?" I murmured an affirmative. "Oh my goodness! We have so much to do to get ready for them. There's some last minute things we need to do at the cottage. And a nursery. We need a crib and baby clothes." She turned to Rosalie and they began to chatter excitedly about what needed to be done and in what order, stopping occasionally to giggle like two school girls.

 Jasper was very still and quiet through all the celebration. Not a good sign.

"Guys." Alice's quiet voice attempted to break into the revelry. "Guys!" Alice shouted to the room.

Everyone stopped their laughing and chatter and turned to face her. Alice was hugging herself tightly, her arms crossed rigidly across her chest like she was trying to hold her body together, like she was trying to keep from falling into pieces. Jasper was behind her, murmuring softly in her ear.

"I know everyone is happy right now, but it's not all good," she said shakily. "The things I'm seeing..." She shivered. Jasper rubbed her shoulders, attempting to comfort her, but it didn't look like it was helping. Alice was more upset than I'd ever seen her.

"What are you seeing, Alice?" I asked.

"It's changing," she wailed softly in anguish. "They must be talking about what they're going to do, because it's changing so quickly. Once I saw Bella crying and screaming at Edward, and then he was alone, packing his clothes, but I don't know where he was going or why. Then it changed and they were holding a baby. I couldn't see its face, but they both were happy and smiling, and everything seemed to be all right. Then, it changed again...." Her voice trailed off and the look on her face chilled me to the bone.

"What Alice?" I urged her on softly.

"Blood. So much blood. And Bella dead. Not a vampire. Just dead. And Edward dead, too."

A hush fell over the room. We met each others eyes. Happiness had just given way to fear...and dread.


	2. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Edward is now home among his family and others, it becomes necessary to distinguish conversations that Edward HEARS in other people's minds from conversations that are actually spoken aloud. To avoid confusion for the reader, from this point on, anything Edward HEARS in other people's thoughts will appear in bold italics.

The plane ride home was interminable. Bella had slept the entire first leg of the flight, only rousing when we landed to make another connection. The hour layover spent in that nearly deserted airport terminal had been even worse. She'd complained of being hungry, but the scant food she'd eaten hadn't stayed in her stomach long enough to stave off her hunger. She'd spent half of the layover time in the bathroom vomiting.

I sat beside her in the main lobby now and clutched her hand in a death grip. I'd held her hand this way since we'd left Isle Esme, only letting go when I'd absolutely had to. I needed to touch her, needed the assurance that she was still there, even though my eyes could obviously see her. Psychologically, I realized what I was really doing was holding onto her for dear life. How could things have been so amazing one minute and so horribly wrong the next? Our life had literally fallen apart in the span of a few minutes. Everything had been going so well for us, for _me_. I'd endured a century of loneliness to finally find two weeks of complete and utter bliss, only to have it ripped away from me in an instant.

But now was not the time to brood over what couldn't be changed. I resisted the urge to sigh aloud and turned my attention to Bella. Her eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep. _Just resting then._ I found myself constantly monitoring her body for even the minutest of changes. I listened to her heart thrumming softly in her chest, and kept a constant vigil over its rhythm. I was now hyper-aware of everything about her: her body temperature, her scent, the sound of her voice, every tiny little thing. A cough or clearing of her throat had me fighting the urge to ask her if she was all right. If I didn't get a handle on my worrying, I was going to eventually drive us both insane.

Bella had made me promise not to walk away from her, mentally or physically. She needed me to be strong for her, not to disintegrate into a useless inert lump of flesh, too terrified to even move. So I fought this constant battle with myself the entire flight home.

Finally, we got on the plane—our last connection before Port Angeles, and then Forks.  _Home._

As much as I loved Isle Esme and thought I'd never want to leave it as long as I had Bella at my side, I was now yearning for home and my family. I knew they'd be waiting for us at the airport, and even though I was somewhat dreading that reunion, I truly couldn't wait to see them. I knew they were probably as shocked about all this as I was, but I could count on every single one of them to support me and Bella.

Esme would be overjoyed, of course. She was born to be a mother; it was tragic that that choice had been taken from her. Same with Rose. I suspected she would quickly brush aside any lingering ill will toward Bella if it meant the chance to finally have a child in the house. And Emmett? If Rose was happy, Emmett was happy—that was just the way things were with them. Same with Alice and Jasper. Carlisle and Alice were the ones that concerned me. Carlisle would be understanding and comforting, as always, but what I needed from him, more than anything else right now, was brutal honesty. I was counting on his expert medical opinion to help us make the right decision. It was a conversation I was dreading.

I wondered what Alice was seeing. I knew she was probably being inundated with conflicting visions, considering how many different options had gone through our heads last night. I needed to have a private talk with her as soon as possible. Perhaps her visions could help.

Bella sighed and clutched my hand tighter. She shifted in her seat slightly, stretching her legs out underneath the seat in front of her.

"Are you all right?" I asked quickly.

"I'm fine, thank you." She attempted a smile. "I'm just really tired. I can't wait to get home."

"I was just thinking the same thing."

"Yeah," she said softly. She squeezed my hand again and closed her eyes to rest.

I turned and stared out the small window at the black night sky rushing past us, but I wasn't really seeing it. I was seeing blue sky, an ocean, filmy curtains billowing with the breeze, Bella picking up shells, playing in the water with the dolphins and laughing at my corny vampire jokes. I was smelling the salty air, the scent of her hair in the shower, strawberries, and tropical flowers.

Things had seemed so simple on Isle Esme. Even after our argument last night, we 'd made love with a tenderness that had overwhelmed both of us. I'd made a promise to her not to hurt our baby, and to stick by her no matter what happened. I'd compromised and agreed to listen to Carlisle's suggestions, and I'd even made a silent promise as well, to our child. But now? That dreamy quality of Isle Esme was gone, replaced by the stark reality of life, complete with stale airplane air and the lingering smell of sickness that clung to Bella. What had possessed me to make those promises, those compromises?? In the bright light of day everything looked different. I wanted to back out of every single one of them as I watched Bella deteriorate with every second that went by. But I couldn't. Marriage, she'd reminded me again last night, was about compromise and two people talking and working through their problems. I sighed aloud this time. This marriage thing was already proving to be more difficult than I'd thought it would be.

"Are you all right?" she asked, opening one eye in my direction.

"Yes. I was just thinking about Isle Esme," I answered softly.

We fell silent for awhile, each thinking our own thoughts. Bella sat up suddenly, and shifted her body toward me. "What are we going to tell Charlie?"

"I really don't know," I answered. "We need to think long and hard on that before we contact him." I knew she'd want to contact him as soon as possible—he was her father after all—but what to tell him? And Renee? And Bella's friends? And Jacob...

Just the thought of Jacob's reaction made me want to open the emergency exit right then and jump out, that is if I thought for even a second it would kill me and spare me from having to endure his inevitable temper tantrum.

"I suppose we'll live at your house?" she asked, but it was more of a statement than a question. There was no where else for us to go at the moment.

"That would be best, Bella. I want you close to Carlisle."

Her hand moved to her abdomen. She caressed it almost absent-mindedly as she stared back at me with those fathomless brown eyes. "You remember your promise?"

"I remember," I said quietly. "And I meant it."

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

"I remember. And I meant it."

His golden eyes held mine long after his words faded. They were so beautiful tonight. They always were just after he'd hunted. I sometimes felt I could stare at them forever and get completely lost in their depths.

 _I'm so tired._ I just wanted to get home. As beautiful as Isle Esme had been, I wanted the familiar now: my old clothes, favorite books, Charlie, and Edward's family, especially Alice. And Jacob, my closest friend.

What was I going to tell Jake? The wedding had hurt him bad enough, then my foolish remark about sex at the reception had only added to his pain. This was going to devastate him. I shuddered at the thought of his reaction. I closed my eyes and could almost feel the heat that radiated off his body when he was angry and on the verge of phasing. Knowing him, he would probably try to kill Edward. Trying to keep those two from each other's throats was going to be a full-time job.

I stifled a sigh to keep Edward from worrying. He was being overprotective, of course. I knew he would be. But instead of annoying me like it used to, it made me feel safe and loved. I looked down at our hands clasped tightly together. Occasionally, his thumb would rub lightly over mine, or he'd squeeze my fingers for no apparent reason, his eyes staring off into the distance. I wished I knew what he was thinking during those times, but deep down, I knew. He was probably thinking the same things I was:  _What's going to happen to me? To us? To our baby?_

What was Carlisle going to say? I'd promised Edward I would consider an abortion if Carlisle recommended it, but could I really go through with it? Could I really kill this precious part of Edward? Yes. I'd promised I'd consider it so, yes, I would.

 _You're lying to yourself, Bella._ _You want this baby, no matter what. Admit it. You're never going to agree to an abortion._ I should have never suggested a compromise. What in the world had possessed me to say that?? At the time, I had been trying to diffuse our argument, but now I wished I could take it all back, just tell Edward that it's my body and I'm going to have this baby if I want to, period, end of sentence. But then I'd be doing exactly what I'd accused _him_ of: taking control without considering anyone else's feelings. I sighed inwardly. This marriage thing was harder than it looked. It was no wonder Charlie and Renee hadn't made it. But I was determined to break our family pattern. Edward and I would make it.

If I lived, that is. That was the one unspoken topic that hung in the air between us like a bad smell that wouldn't go away. Would I live through this? I instinctively knew there was going to be a risk. I was having a vampire's baby. Of course it would be dangerous, but I was counting on Carlisle to give us some options, some hope that we could bring this life into the world. I smiled to myself. I couldn't help it. A little Edward, with a fuzz of bronze hair on his newborn head. Pale skin, perhaps. Long, tiny little fingers and toes. But what color eyes? A vampire's? Or the emerald green of Edward's eyes before he was changed? Or brown like mine? Or a little girl, a miniature Bella for Edward to cuddle and fall in love with. Would she have my brown hair? Or his bronze? Again, what color eyes? Would I see Edward in her face? Would he see me?

_So many possibilities...._

All I had to do now was keep this baby safe enough for it to grow, and make it through the birth alive. It had all seemed so simple last night on Isle Esme. Tonight, things looked very different.

* * *

**~ EDWARD ~**

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, curious as to what could possibly be going through her head. Nothing that had been going through mine the past hours would even come close to eliciting a smile.

"Just thinking about a little Edward with fuzzy bronze hair." She smiled wistfully, tenderly caressing her stomach.

"Bella," I said hesitantly. "That's a little.. _.premature_...don't you think?" So much could happen between now and then. Personally, I had no hope whatsoever of meeting a "little Edward" or even a "little Bella", for that matter. I only hoped to God I had a _wife_ when all this was through.

Before she could answer, we were interrupted by the announcement to fasten our seat belts. We were landing in Port Angeles.

* * *

 

We made our way to the lobby, me pulling our luggage and Bella trudging tiredly at my side. As soon as we emerged into the cavernous room, Alice bounded over to us and gripped Bella in a desperately tight embrace.

"Bella!" she gasped. "I'm so glad you're back!" Bella laughed at Alice's usual enthusiasm, but I sensed a desperation in it. Something was wrong.

She pulled away from Bella and gazed up at me. _**We have to talk, Edward.**_

At that moment, Carlisle approached, more sedately of course, and placed a hand on Bella's arm. "Bella, it's good to have you home," he said softly.

She smiled. "It's good to _be_ home, Carlisle.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked curiously. I'd expected the entire family to be waiting for us.

"They didn't want to overwhelm Bella. They're taking care of some last minute preparations at home. You know Esme." Carlisle smiled indulgently, and shifted his glance to me. _ **I know this may not be the proper time, but I need to ask her a few questions, and you need to speak with Alice.**_

I nodded as he drew Bella off to the side and began softly asking after her health. Alice pulled me over to a row of deserted seats well away from them. "Edward! The visions I've been having," she said, her voice hushed. She visibly shuddered. I'd never seen Alice do that. A feeling of dread settled over me.

"Show me," I said quietly.

She took my hand in hers and began to concentrate. Images started flashing through her mind, like movies playing in a theater. I was helpless to do anything but watch. There was no getting up and leaving in the middle for popcorn and a drink.

_**"How could you?!!" Bella was screaming at me, tears pouring down her face. "You promised me!!" I was trying to explain to her, trying to profess my love and my reasons for what I'd done, what Carlisle and I had done, but she wasn't listening. She pounded my chest with her fists as her screams continued. "Get out of my life!!! I hate you!!! I never want to see you OR Jacob again!!!" Then the image shifted, and I was packing my clothes. Everyone was upset and begging me not to leave. The image ended as I walked out the front door.** _

Then a different movie appeared on the screen, as if someone had gotten bored with the previous one and decided to switch midstream.

_**"Edward, have you ever seen anything more beautiful in your life?" Bella was holding a small, soft bundle in her arms. I was sitting by her side, my hand alternately caressing the little bundle and Bella's cheek. She was tired, her hair was wet and plastered to her head, but she was smiling and radiant. We both were. Carlisle approached our side. "It's truly a miracle, Edward."** _

And then it changed again, and this was a movie I'd never pay good money to see, the kind of movie that made girls hide their faces in their boyfriends' shoulders.

_**Blood. There was blood everywhere: on the gurney, the floor, the sheets, and mine and Carlisle's hands. Bella's body was broken. I was screaming, and hands were pulling at me from behind, trying to keep me away from her, trying to keep me from touching her. "Oh God! She's dead! She's dead!" The words streamed continually out of my mouth. "Why didn't it work?!!" Jacob entered the picture, raging about how he was going to kill me, kill Carlisle, kill all the fucking bloodsuckers he knew. Then the picture shifted: Aro's face. His evil smile. I was in Italy welcoming my death with open arms.** _

The images stopped. I raised my eyes to Alice's. She was visibly shaken, as was I. Three different scenarios. Three different decisions. But were there more? Would even more gruesome movies start playing in Alice's head once Carlisle had a chance to speak with us? What were we going to do?

"Edward, are you all right?" It was Bella, standing over us now.

I quickly pulled myself together and stood, gathering her up into my arms. "I'm perfectly fine," I whispered in her hair. "Let's get you home so you can rest."

Her eyes searched mine for the truth. I must have hidden my fear well, because she smiled in relief. "I'm am _so_ ready to go home." She sighed and tugged at my sleeve. "Let's go."

As we walked through the terminal to our car, I listened to Carlisle's thoughts as he filled me in on Bella's condition.

_**She's experiencing extreme tiredness, nausea, vomiting, body aches and is starting to feel the fetus move. In a normal pregnancy, it's way too early for that. Things are moving much too swiftly, Edward. Both of you have some very important decisions to make, and soon.** _

We exchanged worried glances over Bella's head.  _Important decisions._ But which one to choose? And in the end, would I be forced to break two promises, one made to Bella and the other to the life growing inside of her?

I held her hand tightly in the backseat of the car, my mind silently going over the information I'd gotten from Carlisle and Alice. Studying it. Analyzing it. Trying to decide which path to choose. This entire situation reminded me of a poem by Robert Frost, one of my favorites: _The Road Not Taken._ Bella and I were standing together in those yellow woods right this very minute, both of us trying to decide which road to take, and knowing that whichever one we chose, it would affect our lives forever.

I came to only one conclusion as we finally arrived at our house. The decision was ridiculously simple for me. I was going to choose whichever road kept Bella alive.

 


	3. The Cottage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've rearranged things in this chapter a bit. The cottage has now become a wedding gift and is given before Bella's change, not after. Renovations began when wedding plans were being made and the remodeling was completed during the honeymoon. Also, the description of the cottage came directly from BD, with a few embellishments added by yours truly.

**~ EDWARD ~**

Carlisle and Alice took care of our luggage as I helped Bella up the steps to the house. When we entered the foyer, the rest of the family was waiting to greet us. Immediately upon seeing her, a shockwave swept through the minds of everyone in the room. The intensity of it startled me; I began to panic as I listened to my family's horrified thoughts. Did she really look that bad? But of course, they were seeing her for the first time in two weeks. I'd been with her every day and grown accustomed to the gradual changes in her. They recovered quickly, and a quiet calm settled over the room, thanks to Jasper. Bella never even suspected anything was wrong as Esme stepped forward to speak to her.

"It's so good to have you home. Carlisle told us your news," she said, smiling warmly and taking Bella's hands in hers. "I speak for all of us when I say if there's anything you need, or anything we can do to make this easier for you, all you have to do is ask."

"Thank you," Bella answered softly. "I appreciate that."

"I imagine you're very tired, so we won't keep you," Esme continued. She glanced at me. _**The cottage is ready.**_ I gave her a barely perceptible nod in return.

Bella laughed. "I'm afraid Edward will have to carry me upstairs to his room. I can't even imagine climbing three flights of stairs right now."

"Oh, you're not staying in his room. That tiny little place?" Esme said with a laugh. "Heaven's no! We have a surprise for you, for _both_ of you."

The cottage was no surprise to _me._ Esme had approached me before the wedding asking if we'd like to live there temporarily until we decided on a permanent residence. I'd readily agreed, without consulting Bella, of course. I sighed inwardly at my arrogance in making such a decision without her. That was one habit of mine that was going to be difficult to break, and break it I must if this marriage was to succeed. Isle Esme had taught me that much. At this point, all I could do was hope she liked it and wasn't too upset at being fussed over.

Esme and Alice volunteered to show us our surprise. We left our main luggage at the house and took only our carry-on bags with us. I scooped Bella up into my arms once we were standing in the yard.

"Edward!" she yelped, laughing. "I can walk! I'm not an invalid, you know!"

"Not where we're going. It's quite a walk when you're fresh and rested. After the day you've had, you'd never make it, love." She sighed and gave in to the inevitable, laying her head on my shoulder as we started off.

The cottage was located due north of the house, deep in the woods, far away from anyone's prying ears. The idea of having no secrets was something I was used to, having lived with a houseful of vampires, all with exceptional hearing—and that was not even taking into consideration my own mind reading abilities. But for Bella, the adjustment was bound to take some getting used to. I was touched at Esme's sensitivity in offering the cottage for that very reason. If Bella was upset at the gift, perhaps after explaining the privacy issue to her, she would be more forgiving of Esme's overwhelming generosity.

After a long walk at normal human speeds—I didn't think Bella's stomach could handle running—we finally arrived at our destination. Alice, in her true melodramatic fashion, stopped us a few hundred feet away and tied a scarf around Bella's eyes. Bella protested that I should have a scarf too, since it was also my surprise. I snickered and reminded her that even vampires needed to see to walk. That one sentence brought back a rush of memories from Isle Esme, memories of our first night together. She must have remembered them too, because when I impulsively kissed her hard on the mouth, she dug her fingers into my hair and kissed me back just as passionately. I stopped walking and just stood in the middle of the forest, holding my wife in my arms, and kissing the hell out of her.

A clearing of a throat interrupted our romantic moment. "Uh, guys. This is embarrassing." Alice's annoying voice, and Esme's accompanying chuckle, brought me back from the abyss. "Can't you two wait just a little longer?"

I glared at Alice as she grinned mischievously back at me. Esme was discreetly avoiding my eyes, but still smiling for all she was worth, her thoughts brimming over with joy at my obvious happiness.

Within minutes we were standing in front of the cottage. I deposited Bella on the ground and waited for Alice to untie the scarf with a dramatic flourish. Bella gasped when she could finally see. I was a bit surprised myself. The last time I'd seen this cottage it was a dilapidated mess. Esme had once again worked her magic. The lavender gray stone of the outside walls peeked through tendrils of honeysuckle vines and roses. A stone path led up to the quaint arched wooden door. A thin wisp of smoke curled out of the chimney on one end of the cottage. Muted light filtered through the curtains of the front room, and lit up the compact flower beds hugging the foundation.

Bella's hands moved slowly to cover her gaping mouth, as her eyes wandered over every inch of the outside. "It's beautiful," said, sighing. "Thank you, Esme." She turned to me and smiled. Relief washed over me that she wasn't upset.

"It's your wedding present from all of us," Esme explained. "Everyone chipped in and contributed something. The kitchen is fully stocked, there's a small fire in the living room fireplace, and Alice brought some of your things over from Charlie's so you'd feel right at home."

"And...there's a closet full of beautiful clothes just for you," Alice said, grinning. "Try to restrain yourself from trying them all on tonight."

Bella laughed at Alice's sarcasm and grabbed my hand, pulling me up the stone path.

"Well, goodnight guys!" Alice chirped, as she and Esme melted away silently into the dark of the forest.

"Are you upset at all?" I asked softly. "It _is_ a bit much for a wedding present."

"No. It's beautiful, perfect and I love it. Let's go inside."

I stopped her before she had a chance to cross the threshold. I scooped her up in my arms again and carried her across. "Thresholds are part of my job description, remember?"

She laughed as I sat her down on her feet in the living room. We both stood at the door and took it all in. I couldn't believe what a magnificent job Esme had done. The floor in the main room was stone, with assorted deep pile rugs scattered about. The walls were warm wood in some places and mosaic tiles in others. The furniture was mismatched and eclectic, but somehow it all fit together in a stylish way only Esme could accomplish. Priceless paintings hung on the walls. An antique grandfather clock loomed in one corner, large but exquisite and looking like it had been carved out of the wall itself. A small fire flickered in the stone fireplace, giving the room a warm, cozy feel.

"Wow," Bella whispered as her eyes took in the room. "It's right out of a fairy tale."

"It's perfect then," I said, smiling. "Because we're living a fairy tale, right?" She glanced over at me and grinned. I was sure she was remembering that night on Isle Esme where we'd playfully talked about our bizarre fairy tale life.

"Let's look at the rest," I said, grabbing her hand.

We ventured down a narrow stone hallway, with tiny arches in the ceiling. A small kitchen lay off to our right. A light over the range cast a glow over the tiled floor and marble counters. All the modern conveniences seemed to be in evidence, along with a wood table and four chairs.

A little further down the hallway, on the left, was a small empty room with pale hardwood floors and beige country curtains hanging at the window. We looked at each other. I shrugged, and she smiled glowingly. I knew what she was probably thinking: the baby's room.

Next was the bathroom and, as per my instructions, it was roomy and spacious, much more so than the kitchen. A large glass-enclosed shower took up one corner, and an old-fashioned claw-footed tub took up another. Twin marble sinks, mosaic tiles on the floor, and a toilet, of course, completed the room.

Past an enclosed area containing a washer and dryer and pantry, lay the most important room in the house: our bedroom. I was extremely curious to see what Esme had done with it, as I'd had absolutely no input on its design. Both of us gasped when we pushed open the door.

"Isle Esme," I murmured immediately.

Bella took a little while longer to absorb it all, but I saw the resemblance almost immediately. The floor was the palest of hardwoods that looked almost the color of sand. A huge bed, white and with clouds of gossamer floating down from the canopy, stood in the middle of the floor, its headboard hugging the wall that bordered the laundry room. The walls were brilliant and white, like the South American sun. The entire wall alongside our bed was floor to ceiling windows, broken only by two big glass doors that opened onto a little hidden garden. On the opposite far wall from the bed was a gas log fireplace. Bella's rocking chair from her room sat alone in another corner. Who was responsible for that? Charlie? Alice? Whoever it was, they now held a special place in my heart.

I pointed the garden out to Bella. She oohed and aahed in wonder at the small pond surrounded by roses and shiny stones. A small waterfall occupied one end. It was our own tiny little ocean, our Isle Esme.

And last but not least, the closet, which was built on the end of the house as an extended room. It most likely contained more clothes than either one of us could possibly wear. Bella's eyes followed mine. She knew what lay behind those closed louvered doors.

"I'm afraid." She trembled as she looked at the closet from across the room.

"You should be," I whispered in my best spooky voice. We both broke out in laughter.

She jumped into my arms and hugged me. "I love it, I love it, _I love it!"_ she squealed. I agreed with her. It was small, but perfect for us—a perfect little cottage to start our fairy tale life. If only things could stay as happy as they were at that very moment...

"So, what next? Do you want a bath? Something to eat? Or bed?" I asked, after she'd finally stopped squealing. "Or would you like to try on some outfits?" I grinned mischievously.

"No," she moaned. "Don't tell Alice, but I'm avoiding that room like the plague. I think I'd like to take a quick shower and then go to bed."

I checked the fire in the living room while she showered, and walked through the tiny house turning off lights as I went. I turned the flames up on the gas logs in our bedroom and sat down in her rocking chair in the darkness to wait for her. She emerged out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, finger-combing her hair as she walked. She searched the room and smiled when she located me in the corner.

I sighed as she walked toward me, dropping the towel from her body onto the floor. "You're beautiful."

"So are you."

She smiled and crawled onto my lap just like she had so many times in the past. I held her and we rocked in silence. I hoped it was as comforting to her as it was to me. I only wished she could stay there on my lap all night and sleep in my arms. When she started to doze off, I deposited her gently onto the bed. She smiled sleepily as I stripped off and climbed in next to her. I gathered her up in my arms and entwined my legs with hers. Within minutes, she fell deeply asleep, her body finally giving in to the stress of our long trip home from South America.

Which left me with nothing to do.

The only problem with not sleeping was that it gave you too much time to think, and with someone like me, who was prone to brooding and worrying over things, it was doubly worse. I lay in the dark, holding my love tightly in my arms, listening to the sounds around me, trying desperately not to think. The ticking antique clock in the living room. The soft humming of the refrigerator in the kitchen. The tinkling of water passing over the rocks in the pond outside our bedroom doors. A quiet rustling in the leaves, perhaps a mouse out to forage for food in the night. The forest was coming awake now, teeming with activity as the night animals scurried about their business. But for all my efforts, my thoughts finally intruded, and as was often the case with me, they turned philosophical and brooding almost immediately.

I realized, as I heard the sounds outside and Bella's regular breathing beside me, that life continued, marching forward with unbridled haste, while _my_ life seemed to be moving in the opposite direction in slow motion. Bella and this baby were the sole focus of my existence now. The trivial things in life were no longer important to me and were certainly unworthy of my attention.

For too many years, I'd willingly allowed life to pass me by, not even bothering to try and grasp at happiness. But then, that one fateful moment in some of the most loneliest hours of my existence, happiness had dropped out of the sky and fallen into my lap. No one could have been more surprised than I had been. The day our eyes had met across the school cafeteria, and her scent had invaded my senses, my life had changed forever.

And now? Now, I felt like I was hanging over a precipice, clutching at that happiness with both hands, trying desperately to hold onto it. It was slipping through my fingers, and there wasn't a damned thing I could do about it except helplessly watch it slide out of my hands and crash to the ground far below in a million shattered pieces.

I chastised myself for my morose thoughts. _Think positive, Edward._   _Quit wallowing and brooding, and most of all, quit thinking._ The wise thing would be to wait until we talked with Carlisle tomorrow and quit expecting the worst before we even had all the facts. I had to be strong for Bella now. Never could she know the depth of my anguish or the coldness of my dread. It would tear her apart.

I pulled her closer to me and tenderly kissed her forehead. The feel of her soft skin against my lips, and the smell of her underneath the warm blankets stirred the newly-married man in me. The constant wanting of Isle Esme was still there, always hovering in the background. One small thing was all it took to awaken the longing in me with astonishing force: a soft, harmless kiss, an unconscious slide of her tongue across her lips, her fingers pushing a strand of hair back from her face, or a meaningful glance across a room. Tonight it was simply the silkiness of her skin that did it. 

The fact that she was exhausted from our trip didn't stop my body from wanting her. The fact that she was soundly asleep didn't stop me from kissing her awake, either. I'd never before disturbed her rest, but tonight I did. I kissed her tenderly until her eyes fluttered open in sleepy surprise. She smiled and sighed. She started to speak, but I stopped her with a cool finger laid lightly over her lips. With one deep, heartfelt kiss, she knew conversation wasn't what I wanted.

Her body relaxed beneath me. She parted her legs, allowing me to slowly slide inside of her. It excited me even more to realize that with just one kiss, she was ready for me. I moaned, low and quiet, as I felt the heat of her surround me. I closed my eyes and made love to my wife, slowly and gently, steadily and silently.

Our lovemaking started out quiet. The rhythmic rustling of the blanket draped over us was the only sound in the dark room, but it didn't take long for me to realize just how badly I'd underestimated my need for her. I'd intended to be gentle, always conscious of the fragility of her human body. Instead, I found myself snaking an arm underneath her back and cradling her head in my hand as I drew her tightly against me and pushed harder into her.

It was the first time I'd ever felt regret that she was human. For tonight, I wanted to give her all the love I had and not have to hold anything back. I wanted to unleash my need upon her body with the full force of my vampire strength, as if pushing myself deeper into her would bring me closer to her, as if loving her harder would keep her safe. I knew subconsciously that it would do neither and that my need was so strong tonight because my fear was even stronger.

I lost all sense of reason as I moved urgently inside of her. My moans were constant now, and were soon joined by a steady stream of whispers into her ear. I whispered her name over and over, whispered my love for her in short gasping breaths as the pressure began to build. Her fingers glided over my body and felt like hot embers burning into my skin. Her warm lips touched my cheek, my mouth, my jaw and my neck. I was so close and realized far too late that Bella wasn't with me. I'd completely ignored her pleasure at the expense of my own, but I couldn't stop it, not even if I had wanted to.

"Bella...I can't..." I gasped hoarsely, trying desperately to gain control over my body.

"Edward," she whispered in my ear. "It's all right. Go ahead." She thrust her hips hard up against mine, essentially guaranteeing I'd lose the fight.

"Isabella," I moaned loudly, as I gave up and let go, my body trembling against hers as the force of the orgasm moved through me.

After it was over, I felt her breath against my cheek while I whimpered softly from the lingering pleasure. She was murmuring to me, telling me everything was going to be all right and she loved me. I listened with my eyes closed until she finally grew quiet.

I pulled back so I could see her face. "I'm so—" I started to apologize, but her fingers closed over my mouth. She shook her head, pulled my face down to hers and kissed me. I felt love in her kiss and saw understanding in her eyes.

When she returned from the bathroom, she pulled me close. Instead of her body being curled up against me, my head was now lying on her breast, next to her heart. Her arms were wrapped snugly around me, her fingers idly twining my hair. We spoke not a word. I grazed a finger lightly over her breast, smiling to myself when her nipple hardened underneath my touch. She sighed and stilled my hand with her own.

In a matter of minutes, she left me again. I spent the rest of the night watching her sleep and listening to her heart. I rested my palm directly over it and finally found calmness and peace as I listened to its steady, rhythmic beat. It truly was the most significant sound in my world.

Some time just before morning, when all the world was still and waiting anxiously for the rising of the sun and the start of a promising new day, another sound pushed its way into my world without warning: a soft, rapid heartbeat, not unlike the fluttering of a butterfly's wings in flight. It beat strongly, announcing its presence to me like a tiny child fighting for its parents' attention. _I'm here! I'm alive! Listen to me!_ that sound said.

I slid my hand underneath the covers to Bella's stomach, laying my palm over it as I had on her heart. "I hear you," I whispered softly as the sun broke through the trees. "I hear you."

 


	4. The Decision

**~ BELLA ~**

I opened my eyes to the daylight and wondered for a moment where I was. Then I saw the woods and the little pond through the full length windows beside my bed. I smiled. I was in my fairy tale cottage with my Prince Charming snuggled up against my back. The room was hot, and his cool body felt good against my skin.

"Don't move," Edward whispered in my ear, his cold breath stirring the hair on my neck. "Not a muscle. Stay perfectly still."

I did what he asked, even though the feel of his breath on my skin made me want to shiver, not from cold, but from desire. "What is it?" I whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Look out the windows, straight in front of you, at the bird feeder," he answered softly.

I was lying on my side, so I could see the bird feeder he was talking about without moving my head. It was just beyond the pond—an elongated tube stuck on a decorative iron pole about four feet above the ground. A bright red bird was perched on its edge, busily devouring the seed as fast as it could.

"What kind of bird is that?" I asked quietly.

"It's a cardinal. Now look directly to your left at the nearest tree. Find the lowest branch. Look very closely and you'll see his mate. She's brownish-gray with just a hint of red." He paused a few moments to give me time to look. "Do you see her?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, just lay very still and observe.".

I was having trouble concentrating with his sweet breath drifting over my face as he spoke, but I sensed from his voice I was about to witness something special, so I focused my attention outside. The cardinal at the bird feeder was pecking frantically at the seed. All of a sudden, he flew off to the branch where his mate was perched. _Darn these human eyes!_ The branch was a little too far away for me to make out the details of what was happening. Then the bright red cardinal flew back to the feeder, pecked some more, and flew back to his mate.

"What is he doing? I can't see."

Edward chuckled softly in my ear. If I wasn't afraid of scaring off the birds, I would have elbowed him in the ribs for making fun of my substandard human vision again. "The bird feeder is a very dangerous place. A cat could get you, or a snake. The male cardinal leaves his mate tucked safely away on a high branch while he endangers his life to bring her food. With every trip he makes to the branch, he's delivering a beak full of seed to her. You see, even though he'd love to have her by his side on that ledge so they could dine together, she's too precious to him to expose her to that much danger."

I watched him go back and forth from the feeder to the branch, as Edward whispered in my ear. It was the most touching thing I'd ever seen in my life. I never knew birds could feel such devotion for each other.

"That bright red bird is me, and that lovely lady tucked safely away in the tree is _you_ ," he said.

"How come you're so beautiful and I'm so plain?"

Edward growled softly. "He's bright for a reason, Bella." He always got annoyed with me when I pointed out the physical differences between us. "He has to attract a mate with his beauty, but it also makes him a target for danger. A predator will notice _him_ before it'll notice his mate. It's the way of nature. It's a survival thing, not an aesthetic thing.   
"So, my love," he continued, all hint of annoyance gone from his voice. ",when I get a little overprotective of you, and you get annoyed at me over it, remember that red cardinal and how much he loves his mate."

Tears stung my eyes as I watched the scenario of love play out before me. I knew what he was doing. Edward was warning me, in his own sweet way of course, that things might get very bad in the next few weeks, and his actions might annoy me, or possibly even anger me, but I was to remember that he was only doing what he felt was necessary to protect me. I turned over, not caring any longer about startling the birds. I wanted Edward in my arms.

"Love, I didn't mean to upset you," he murmured as he kissed away the tears that had managed to escape my lids.

"I'm not crying because I'm upset," I scolded him gently. "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever woken up to in my life. I'll never forget it. Thank you."

He smiled, obviously relieved that I wasn't upset. His kiss, although tender and meant to be a comfort, sent sharp stabs of longing through me. I unconsciously whimpered and pulled him closer. Now that I'd had a full night's sleep, I was well-rested and I wanted him badly.

"Bella," he murmured after he broke the kiss quicker than I'd liked. "I want to apologize to you for last night."

"There's no need."

"Yes, there is. It was incredibly selfish of me to wake you. I knew you were exhausted and I disturbed your rest anyway. And then, to not even take the necessary time to give you pleasure as well? I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

The longing I had for him this morning blossomed into full-fledged lust as I remembered his lovemaking of last night. I'd thought I was dreaming, being kissed awake by cool lips to the sound of the ocean at Isle Esme. When I'd opened my eyes to see his golden ones gazing back at me, my heart had stuttered. He'd never awoken me wanting to make love before. And that kiss! So full of heat, but there'd also been a desperateness in it that had alarmed me. I'd sensed carefully controlled violence in him as he'd moved inside of me, a tenseness coiled just beneath the surface, and being held in check only by the stubbornness of his will. The emotional urgency of his lovemaking had frightened me more than any notion that he might physically harm me.

"Edward—" I started, and hesitated. Not being experienced in dealing with men's egos, I knew I was treading on dangerous ground. I had to choose my words carefully. "—I think sometimes that making love isn't just about orgasms. You needed me last night, much more than I needed you, for whatever reason, and I was there for you. You shouldn't feel guilty."

"I still do, and I want you to know, it wasn't just about the physical pleasure for me." He lightly stroked my cheek, grazing his thumb across my lips. "I feel closer to you when we make love. I think I needed that closeness with you last night. I feel bad that you didn't enjoy it with me."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, we can say you owe me one. Would that help?"

He laughed and the sound was a welcome relief. No bruised ego. "Yes, I do believe that might make me feel better."

"Uhm, hold on a minute though," I stopped him with a frown. "If I remember correctly, we're on a four to one ratio with the orgasm thing, so technically you owe me four." I had to giggle. The look on his face was priceless.

"Well, I can't afford to do _that_ very often then, can I?" He chuckled. "I'd never catch up."

"You can start trying right now," I said.

"We need to talk to Carlisle this morning," he reminded me seriously.

"I think that can wait a little while, don't you?" I gently kissed, and turned up the heat until I coaxed a low moan from his throat. He pulled me close and down into the covers with him. He spent the rest of the morning lovingly repaying his debt.

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

"Do you need help?" I asked through the closed bathroom door.

A muffled 'no' was the response. I leaned against the hallway wall and listened helplessly as she vomited up the light breakfast I'd prepared for her. I wanted to be there beside her, holding her hair back from her face, offering her water to rinse her mouth, but she'd locked the door behind her. I sighed and made my way to the kitchen to wait. It wasn't going to take long for her body to deteriorate if she couldn't keep food down. I didn't know what to do to help her. I only hoped Carlisle had some suggestions or this situation was going to go downhill very fast.

I heard the shower start up, and a while later the blow dryer. I listened as she rummaged around in the bedroom for clothes to wear. It took every ounce of strength I possessed not to race down the hall and offer to help. _She's a grown woman, Edward, and as she told you yesterday, she's not an invalid—not yet anyway. Leave her alone unless she asks for help._

She found me a little later waiting patiently for her at the kitchen table. She slid into the chair across from me; we exchanged smiles. "Sorry I took so long."

"It's fine. Are you well now?"

"Actually, I am," she answered, and she seemed as surprised by her answer as I was. "The queasiness is gone and I feel pretty good—good enough to eat again." I opened my mouth to object, but she continued before I could get a word out. "But I'm going to give the stomach a rest for a little while, I think. So, I guess I'm ready to go." 

We'd never spoken of it, but I knew she was dreading this conversation with Carlisle as much as me. We'd consciously put it off by spending the morning in bed. Afternoon was approaching; there was nothing else to do now but face it. We couldn't put it off any longer. I knew this with much more certainty than Bella. As my hands had roamed over her body this morning, I'd been shocked at how much larger her stomach was than last night. This baby was growing incredibly fast, _too_ fast. But perhaps Bella knew that already, since she had chosen to wear loose sweatpants today instead of her normal jeans.

"There's something I need to tell you before we go," I said. Her body tensed as she focused her attention on me. "This morning right before the sun came up, I heard the baby's heartbeat."

Her eyes widened as her heart rate went through the roof. Her hands instinctively sought out her stomach. "Edward," she gasped. "Oh my God. What did it sound like?"

"It was soft, like a butterfly in flight. Very fast and strong," I whispered. _Too strong._

"Do you think I can hear it?" she asked, a smile growing on her face.

"That's a question for Carlisle."

"Can you hear it right now?"

"Yes. When the room is really quiet like it is now, it's very loud," I answered. I didn't want her to know that I'd made a concerted effort to block the sound from my mind until that very moment. I didn't want to get too attached, especially before we talked to Carlisle. So, I'd shut it out this morning, refusing to let it intrude on my time with her. I sighed. "We need to go."

She grasped my hand across the table; her eyes were filmy with unshed tears. "Thank you for telling me. You don't know how much that means to me."

I nodded and slammed my mental door shut on the sound of that heartbeat, even though it made me feel like a total ass doing it. I didn't want to hear that heart. I didn't want to get attached to it, and most of all, I didn't want it to mean anything to me.

* * *

  
We were seated side-by-side in leather armchairs, our hands clasped together for support. Carlisle sat at his desk across from us, his manner one of a doctor now, instead of father or friend.

"Let me just start by saying I intend to give you the same advice I would give to any two people who happened to walk into my office with a similar situation." Then he smiled, just a little. "Not that this situation comes up very often."

"That's what we want, Carlisle. Strictly your professional advice. Please don't sugar coat it for either one of us," I answered. Bella's fingers tightened slightly in my grip.

"Very well, then," he said. "The first thing we need to do is an exam. I'm perfectly qualified to do it, even though it's not my specialty at this particular hospital. I _do_ want you to know, Bella, I have delivered babies in the past. Although, never in a situation like this, of course. I hope you feel comfortable with me being your doctor because, frankly, we don't have any other choice."

"Oh no. I'm not uncomfortable with that at all. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't want any other doctor," she answered hastily.

He nodded and after a long pause, he continued. Both of us were tense in our seats, waiting and dreading what he would say. I could have plucked it out of his head if I'd so desired, but I was purposely closing my mind to his thoughts. This was one time I didn't want to know before anyone else.

"After much consideration, my professional advice to you both is you should terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible," he stated flatly.

Bella gasped. Her fingers went slack in my hand. I glanced at her to see if she was all right, and was saddened to see tears trickling down her face.

"I'm sorry, Bella. But in such situations, the life of the mother always takes priority. It's my professional opinion that to continue with this pregnancy would seriously threaten your life," he said quietly. "You quite possibly wouldn't survive it."

I relaxed my control and let in his thoughts, just for a moment, and was surprised at what I heard. Underneath his professionalism, he was deeply saddened that he'd never see his grandchild, and he regretted the opportunity, as a scientist, to study this unique situation. He glanced my way, knowing I was reading his thoughts. 

_**I'm sorry, Edward, but as much as I hate to admit it, there is no other option. As your father, however, I would have loved to see you have a son or daughter, and Esme and I to have a grandchild.** _

"What other options do we have?" Bella was sitting up straighter. She'd wiped the tears from her face, and she wore a determined expression. A feeling of dread swept over me.

Carlisle hid his surprise well, and answered her question smoothly. "Well, there are only two ways to deliver a child: vaginal birth and Cesarean section. With vaginal birth, you can choose to have the child with as little, or as much, pain medication as you desire. With Cesarean section, we can choose when the time is right for delivery, unless there is an emergency. We can use either general anesthetic—you will be completely asleep—or a combination of spinal and epidural anesthetics so you can be awake when the baby is born."

"If we decide to terminate, what are the chances something could go wrong?" I asked, ignoring Bella's burning gaze in my peripheral vision.

"Abortions are not without risk," he answered quietly. "But, in my opinion, the risks of carrying this child to term far outweigh those of an abortion."

 _ **Unless you're willing to change her sooner than you'd planned**_. Carlisle pushed the suggestion at me, loud and clear. He was practically admitting that she would die if we didn't terminate.

"When do we need to decide?" Bella asked.

"As soon as possible, preferably today," he answered. "But we really need to do an exam first. Perhaps we could do that now? We have a spare bedroom I've converted for that purpose. It's spartan, but it will suffice until I can gather more equipment. And you can certainly be there with her, Edward, if you'd like." 

"If you don't mind, Bella, I'd like to stay here and wait on you," I murmured.

She frowned, but didn't answer. She silently followed Carlisle from the room, leaving me alone to think and wonder just what the hell we were going to do. I sorted quickly through all the data. I took what I already knew from my limited studies of medicine, along with Carlisle's recommendation, then I factored in the unknown—the one variable that threw a monkey wrench into every scenario that went through my mind—, and that variable was that none of us knew exactly what was growing inside of my wife and what effect it would have on her fragile body. I went through all the data again, and again. I got the same conclusion every single time. I agreed with Carlisle. Abortion was the only option. Convincing Bella was going to be difficult, if not impossible.

When they returned a short while later, Carlisle took his seat across from us again. Bella was sitting uncomfortably beside me, visibly upset, her hands in her lap. I waited rather impatiently for someone to fill me in on what I was missing.

"The baby is growing very rapidly, as I'm sure you both probably know," Carlisle started, and without breaking stride, he added silently: _**I hear the heart beat clearly. As do you, I'm sure. She's upset because my regular instruments were unable to detect it.**   _"But it's not progressing along a normal curve. The heart beat usually starts at five weeks, but movement isn't normal until sixteen weeks. You're experiencing both simultaneously, Bella. There's a huge discrepancy there for which I have no explanation. The one thing I can safely say with confidence is that this pregnancy is very advanced from the norm. Of course, you'll want to take some time to discuss it, but your decision needs to come tonight."

With that, he excused himself and left us alone in his office. We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Bella took a deep breath and finally spoke. "I'm having this baby," she announced as she boldly turned her gaze to me.

The dread that had started in the pit of my stomach grew to mammoth proportions. "We need to talk about this, but not here. We have no privacy here. Everyone in the house will hear everything we say," I insisted. "Let's go back to the cottage."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm having this baby," she repeated emphatically.

"Why, all of a sudden, does this sound like a dictatorship instead of a marriage?" I asked hotly. "You were the one who said it was all about compromise!"

She rose up out of her seat in anger. "Perhaps you're right. We need to talk about this in private. Let's go," she retorted.

I stared after her as she stomped angrily from the room. I suspected that our fairy tale cottage was about to play witness to the first truly serious fight of our marriage.

* * *

 

"I'm having this baby," she repeated for the third time. I was sitting rigidly on the living room sofa watching Bella pace the room.

"No you're not," I insisted stubbornly. "Carlisle specifically stated that termination was the best option."

She stopped pacing and stood to face me, her hands balled up into fists. She erupted unexpectedly in fury. "You promised me!" she shouted. "You promised you wouldn't hurt our baby!"

"And I meant it!" I shouted back. "I personally won't do anything to harm this child. I'm taking a hands off approach in this, but Carlisle is a different story. For God's sake, he's a doctor! Don't you think he knows better than both of us what's best for you? What happened to the compromising part? You said you'd listen to his recommendation and you could be persuaded to see reason if the situation requires it. Well...it requires it!"

"Well, I guess I lied," she fumed. "Because I'm having this baby. It's _my_ body and I have the final decision in the matter."

"So that's how it is, then?" I asked quietly. "You're taking the decision completely out of my hands. You're doing exactly what you've always accused _me_ of."

"Yes, I suppose I am, but that's just how it's going to be," she stated emphatically, her chin raised slightly in defiance.

I was fighting so very hard to control my anger, but it was proving difficult. "Do you have a death wish? Is this your way of getting me to turn you faster than we'd planned? What is it?"

She sat down across from me in an armchair. I could see her visibly trying to bring her temper under control. When she finally spoke, she was much calmer. "It's nothing like that. You can't understand what it feels like to have this life inside of me. I've felt this child move. It's alive and it's dependent on me to keep it safe. Aborting it would feel like murder to me. I couldn't do it in good conscience."

Before I thought about the consequences of my words, the control freak in me took over. "We could always make you," I said quietly. "There's seven of us..."

Her eyes widened in alarm and narrowed in pure, unadulterated fury. "You could," she agreed, her voice low and menacing. "Even though I doubt Esme and Rosalie would help you, you could still do it. But know this, Edward. If you were to do that, our marriage would be over."

 _Alice's vision._ It was playing out with an eerie similarity. I gazed into Bella's eyes and saw the truth in her words. She was serious. Our marriage wouldn't survive that decision. I sighed and fought down the panic that was threatening to paralyze my every thought. I had no other choice; I was going to have to back down. 

"I'm sorry. Please forget I even suggested such a thing," I said softly, avoiding her eyes. "I would never force this on you. It was my anger talking."

"It's all right. We're both upset," she answered just as softly.

There was only one thing left for me to try. I found her eyes and held them. "Bella, please. Please don't do this," I begged softly.

"I'm having this baby."

It was no use. I could tell there was no changing her mind, and I'd promised I'd be there for her, physically and emotionally, no matter what. I reached for her. She hesitated but then came over to sit beside me. "All right. No abortion," I whispered. "We'll have this baby, together."

"Thank you." She wrapped her arms around me and cried on my shoulder. I held her, whispering endearments as I fought back my own gut-wrenching fear at what I'd just agreed to.

"We need to tell Carlisle," I said finally.

"You go. I think I've used up all my energy for the day." She sighed tiredly. "I'm going to lie down for awhile."   
  
I went with her down the hall to our bedroom. Her eyes were drooping sleepily, and closed not long after her head hit the pillow. I left her with a kiss to the forehead and a whispered 'I love you' that I wasn't even sure she heard. I closed the bedroom door behind me, and then the front door.

I started off walking to the house, but ended up running the long way around. I needed time alone to think and organize my thoughts before I faced Carlisle. I anticipated he and I were about to have a very long conversation.

 


	5. Heart to Hearts

**~ EDWARD ~**  

Carlisle was waiting for me at the door when I finally dragged my feet up the steps of the porch. Vampires didn't get physically tired but, as I was finding out, fatigue of the mind and spirit could be just as debilitating. I'd gone over everything in my mind while I ran until I was sick of thinking about it. I wanted an easy solution and none was to be had.

It was with great relief I found the house to be mostly empty. I didn't want to face all the questions in everyone's thoughts, not tonight. "Where is everybody?" I asked Carlisle as he shut the door behind me.

"Alice and Jasper have gone hunting. Esme is somewhere upstairs doing something, I'm not sure what." He chuckled softly. " And Emmett..."

Just at that moment, Rosalie and Emmett strode into the room, obviously on their way out the door. Both were dressed casually, in jeans and sneakers.

"Hey! Where's Bella?" Emmett stopped and asked. For once he wasn't smiling and bursting at the seams with barely contained mischief.

"She's taking a nap at the cottage. I'm here to speak with Carlisle about our... _situation._ "

"You left her there all alone?" His voice was suddenly filled with brotherly concern and a mild sense of outrage at what he perceived as a serious breach of husbandly duty. "Why don't we send Rose over there to sit with her, just in case she needs anything while you're gone? You don't mind, do you Rose?" he asked, turning to her for an answer.

Rose's mouth dropped open in momentary shock, as I'm sure mine did, as well. "Uh...sure Edward. I'll be happy to sit with her." 

"That's fine. Just don't say anything to upset her." I stared pointedly in her direction. She got my meaning loud and clear: no sniping about the past, and no discussing the pros and cons of becoming a vampire. Bella didn't need that.

"I wouldn't do that," she fumed. "I understand the seriousness of her condition. I'm not without a heart, you know!"

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm a little distracted at the moment. Just ignore most of what I say," I muttered.

Emmett laughed. "Oh, we do that anyway." He pecked Rose on the cheek and told her he'd see her later, after he fixed the jeep. Rosalie rolled her eyes behind his back and followed him out the door. I hoped Bella wouldn't hate me too much when she realized who was going to be her babysitter for the evening.

I sighed and meandered across the room to the piano. I was procrastinating: I knew it and Carlisle knew it. I was dreading this conversation almost as much as I'd dreaded the earlier one, but his thoughts were nothing but patient and understanding. He was so like a father to me. He was born to it; it seemed unfair that he and Esme both were denied the life they were meant to have. I wondered if I'd be such a father to my child—understanding and patient—if this child even made it into the world alive, that is.

I sat down at the piano and plucked aimlessly at the keys, picking out Bella's lullaby with one finger. I played one stanza with both hands and quit; I didn't have the heart to finish it. I wondered if I'd ever be able to play it in its entirety again. I sighed and dropped my hands from the keys and into my lap. Carlisle had moved from the doorway and was now leaning casually against the piano.

"She refuses to have an abortion." I immediately heard the shock in Carlisle's thoughts.

_**Did I not communicate the severity of the situation clearly enough? Surely she realizes that she could die.** _

"Oh, she understands the severity of the situation just fine," I answered bitterly. "She knows she could die, but Bella doesn't seem bothered by death. She never has been, if you think about it. To even take up with me was dangerous enough. Then, after she found out about my immortality, to embrace it and want it for her own? It makes no sense to me. Most humans seek out every way possible to _avoid_ death. Not Bella."

_**Do you want me to talk to her again?** _

"No. You'd be wasting your time. She threatened to dissolve our marriage if I pressured her into doing this."

Carlisle was stunned at my admission, but recovered quickly.  _ **Then we'll just have to make sure she doesn't die. That's the only choice we're left with. Are you going to put plans in place to change her if—please forgive me, Edward—if she does die during childbirth?**_

"Don't you remember Alice's vision? Something went wrong; the transformation didn't work. I just don't know if I'm willing to take that chance."

_**Nevertheless, we should plan for every possible scenario, both medically and otherwise, just to be safe.** _

I returned a hand to the keyboard and tried to play something. Music had always been a comfort to me in times of stress or worry, but not today. It wasn't doing a thing to help ease the growing fear in my heart. I sighed deeply and gave up once again.

_**What is it, son? Something else is bothering you.** _

"I'm ashamed to even give voice to it, Carlisle."

_**Whatever it is, you can share it with me. Rest assured it'll go no further.** _

"I feel like...." I hesitated, wondering how disappointed Carlisle would be after he heard. "It's like....she's chosen this child over me." Just hearing the words spoken aloud made me want to slink off in shame and hide under a rock.

_**I can't speak for Bella, of course, but I wouldn't think she sees it as having to choose.** _

"Edward." A hand on my shoulder startled me. I'd been so absorbed in my thoughts I'd failed to notice Esme sitting down beside me on the bench. "Forgive me for eavesdropping, and for butting in on your conversation, but you're looking at this all wrong. You have to understand what it means to a woman to carry a child. I know what she's feeling. I've been pregnant, remember? Although it was a long time ago, and my husband was not as loving and devoted as you, the memories of carrying that child are still there. I can assure you, this is not a case of having to choose one or the other. This child isn't going to replace you. She wants this baby because it's _part_ of you, Edward. When you love a man deeply, bringing his child into the world is the ultimate expression of that love.  Don't you think her heart is big enough for all the people she loves? Charlie, Renee, Jacob, you? Do you really feel like her love for you will somehow lessen if she has this baby? If anything, I think you'll find that it will increase—" She smiled and fluffed my hair playfully. "—if that's possible, considering how madly in love with you she is already."

"It's just, I"m tired of sharing her, Esme," I said, ignoring her attempt to cheer me up. "I've been forced to share her affections with Jacob, and now I'm going to have to share her with.. _.this._ " As soon as the words left my mouth, I groaned in frustration at how juvenile they sounded. "And she says I'm not selfish," I muttered. "She has no idea just how selfish I can be! Even to me, I sound like a spoiled child." 

"It's not unusual to want to lose yourself in another person to the exclusion of everything else around you, especially at the beginning of a relationship, when everything is fresh and new," Carlisle said, smiling in Esme's direction. She laughed softly and dipped her head in mild embarrassment. "We've all been guilty of it from time to time," he continued. "But experience has taught me that involving others in your life can be healthy for a marriage. If your love is strong, nothing will come between you. I, for one, agree with Esme. This child will most likely strengthen your marriage, even though it may not appear that way to you at the moment."

"This baby is not a bad thing, Edward," Esme continued. "And I'm not just saying that because I want a grandchild. If you embrace this new life growing inside her, and I mean truly accept it in your heart, and give Bella your constant support and attention, and let her know she and that baby are the most important things in your life, she'll give so much love back to you that you won't know what to do with it all."

"But what if it doesn't live? What if Bella doesn't make it? What happens to my heart _then?"_ I asked, keeping my eyes carefully in my lap.

Neither one of them could supply an answer, or if they did, they hid it from me, because their minds had suddenly gone quiet.

 

* * *

 **~ BELLA ~**  

I awoke from my nap still sleepy and bleary-eyed. Edward was sitting in the rocking chair across the room calmly watching me. "Edward," I yawned. "How long have I been asleep?"

A soft chiming laugh that sounded nothing like Edward had me rubbing the sleep furiously out of my eyes.

"I think I've just been insulted." The figure laughed again.

I peered into the darkness and blushed furiously as I realized my mistake. "Rosalie!" I exclaimed in astonishment. "I'm sorry. It's dark, and I was still half asleep..."

"No need to explain," she assured me. "I'm just wondering, though, if it's time for a trip to the spa, especially if I'm beginning to resemble Edward."

"It's just these stupid human eyes of mine." I laughed nervously. Rosalie had always intimidated me. Her beauty was the one thing you couldn't ignore. It took your breath away every single time, like a well placed, but unexpected punch to the gut. It was even worse being in the same room with her now, since I was sure I looked less than attractive at the moment, with my hair sticking out in all directions and my body stuck into the loosest clothes I could find.

"Edward asked me to sit with you while he talked with Carlisle," she explained, beating me to my next question. "Is there anything I can get you?" She rose from the rocker and glided over to the bed. She sat down on the edge beside me, waiting for an answer. I wondered what she would do if I suddenly turned into a sick, helpless human with a thousand silly little wants. Somehow, I couldn't picture Rosalie scurrying about the house at my beck and call. Whatever had possessed Edward to send her over here to babysit me??

"I think I'm fine, fornow," I answered. Then my stomach growled like one of Emmett's angry grizzlies. I heard it, so I _know_ she did. "On second thought, maybe some food wouldn't hurt."

She sighed. "Oh dear. You picked the one thing I know absolutely nothing about. I could throw something together, but I doubt it would be edible. Perhaps I could help you prepare something." She smiled brightly. "We can cook together."

 _Oh my god._ Who was this person sitting on my bed? The only thing that kept her from looking like an eager little puppy was the absence of a wagging tail. Her behavior was so un-Roselike was stunned speechless for a few moments.

"Uh...sure." I laughed nervously as I scooted out of bed. "Let's poke around and see what we can come up with." She followed me down the hall and into the kitchen, where she watched carefully as I pulled stuff willy nilly from the refrigerator. I had no clue what I was going to fix; I was just grabbing whatever happened to be in front. Her closeness was distracting me from thinking. It was like she was memorizing my every little move for future reference, just in case she wanted to write that cookbook she'd always dreamed about writing. _Sheesh._

I finally stopped and looked at the assorted jars and packages sitting on the counter. It looked like I was having a ham sandwich with cheese and horseradish and ketchup and mayonnaise and sweet pickle relish and barbecue sauce and orange juice for dinner. I sighed and put everything back except for the ham, cheese and mayonnaise. I pulled out some milk to replace the orange juice. She watched over my shoulder as I assembled the sandwich and poured the milk. I had to bump into her to put the stuff back in the refrigerator, she was standing so close. She was freaking me out.

"Excuse me," I murmured as I made my way around her to the tiny kitchen table. She took her place on the opposite side and watched as I ate.

"That's appetizing?" she asked with a sick look. If she wasn't so pale, I'd swear she was turning green.

I chuckled in between bites. "It'll do."  I hadn't realized just how hungry I was until the first bite made it into my mouth. I was afraid my manners were as disgusting to her as my choice of food. I was stuffing it in as fast as it would go, and talking with my mouth full.

"I know that outfit didn't come from your closet," she said suddenly with a small mischievous smile. "Alice is going to explode if you wear that in front of her."

"What?" I looked down in confusion at my baggy sweats and equally oversized sweatshirt. "It's comfortable, and I'm all about comfort right now. Nothing else fits."

"I'll let you in on a little secret," she said, lowering her voice. "Alice is on a mission to buy you a whole new wardrobe. _Maternity clothes_. But don't say I told you."

I stopped chewing in utter astonishment. Not at the fact that Alice was going berserk again with the shopping—that was nothing new—but at the fact that Rosalie had just confided a secret to me, in hushed whispers, almost like she was my girlfriend.

"Uhm, I won't," I assured her. "Where is Alice, by the way? I haven't talked to her much since we've been back."

"Her and Jasper are hunting. They won't be back until late tonight."

"What's Emmett doing?" I asked, not so much out of curiosity, but as a way to fill the growing awkwardness in the room.

"He's in the garage doing something with the Jeep. We were going to work on it together, but I told Edward I'd sit with you instead." She smiled. "He'll mess it up, of course. I'll have to go behind him and do it all over again, but it'll make him feel good to think he fixed it."

I gave the obligatory laugh and then everything went quiet. I'd ran out of small talk, and evidently so had she. _Well, this is awkward._ I took the last bite of my sandwich and drank the last drop of milk and settled back in my chair wondering what to say next. Rosalie was one step ahead of me.

"What's it like?" she asked softly, her golden eyes suddenly fixed on mine with an intensity that brought me up short.

I started to blurt out 'What's _what_ like?' when it finally dawned on me what she was asking, and also the real reason behind her visit. "It's wonderful." I sighed and smiled.

"Would you mind telling me?" she asked hesitantly. "Everything?"

"Not at all." I leaned forward in my chair; she leaned forward in hers. Her hands were clasped together on the table; mine were on my stomach, where they always seemed to be now. "I first felt it move on Isle Esme," I began. "Ugh! I hate saying 'it'. Just for now I'm going to refer to it as 'him', okay?" Rosalie smiled and nodded, waiting for me to continue. "He felt like a butterfly, flitting about in my stomach, so soft I almost didn't feel him..."

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

"So what do we do first?"

Carlisle and I were now sitting in his office. After my emotional ramblings downstairs, we'd decided the more serious conversation should take place in his study. Not only were we within in easy reach of his multitude of medical books, but also, just the feel of the room and Carlisle's demeanor when he was in it, made me feel more reassured, like the answers I was seeking lay hidden somewhere in these four paneled walls. All I had to do was search for them and they'd readily reveal themselves. It all sounded so simple in my mind.

_**Certainly, I'll need to do an examination every day. No, maybe twice a day would be better—in the morning and again in the evening. With the baby growing so rapidly, important changes could occur in a matter of hours.** _

"Why is it growing so fast? What am I missing?"

_**Think Edward. Chromosomes. That's the only explanation I can come up with.** _

"Chromosomes?" I repeated, startled I hadn't thought of it myself. "That's right. We have twenty-five and humans have twenty-three. So, the child has...twenty-four." I stopped as the ramifications of that hit me with the force of a sledgehammer.

**_Perhaps. We don't know for sure. But if it does, then it's physiologically more like the wolves—like Jacob—than either one of you._ **

"That would account for the rapid growth," I whispered in astonishment. In the next instant, the realization that this child was going to be more like Jacob than me sent an inexplicable stab of jealousy straight to my heart. If I was going to have a child—and it looked like I just might—why, in God's name, did it have to have any qualities even remotely like that lunkhead! I mentally shook off my ridiculously juvenile thoughts. I needed to focus on the issues at hand: like how had I not figured this out long ago?

"How did I not think of that?"

_**You have been a little distracted lately. Don't be so hard on yourself, son.** _

"I can't afford distractions right now," I retorted, then immediately regretted my tone. It wasn't Carlisle's fault I was suddenly eaten up with jealousy inside like an overgrown teenager guarding his turf. _Keep it in perspective_. _Jacob has nothing whatsoever to do with this pregnancy._ _He wasn't even there, remember? An extra chromosomal pair does not a father make. It's just biology, just DNA._ "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Carlisle waved off my apology.  _ **We need to do all the things we'd do in a normal pregnancy. Prepare for everything, literally everything, Edward. I'll arrange to stockpile some blood for Bella. Do you know her blood type?**_

"O-negative."

_**I'll procure the equipment and supplies we'll need for our makeshift hospital room. We also need to prepare for her transformation, if that's what it comes to. I know you don't want to think about that, but if it's the only way to save her life, we must have a plan in place.** _

I sighed. "I'll think about it." Changing her while she lay bleeding and dying on a hospital gurney was not what we'd planned. I wonder if that thought had ever occurred to her while she was so nonchalantly embracing death in her stubborn efforts to have this child.

_**Right now, that's as much as we can do. Preparedness seems to be our only offense at this point.** _

"Is there anything I can do to help? Worrying myself into a state of depression is not in Bella's best interests, and it seems to be the only thing I'm doing well at the moment." 

 _ **As a matter of fact, there is.**_ He reached around behind him to a pair of bookshelves. Two thick books, their covers threadbare and worn with age, appeared on the desk between us. _ **Research. We need to find out if anything like this has ever happened before, and if it has, what was the outcome. These books are very old and contain a lot of the oral history of our species. Pour over these first, then hit the Internet. Maybe we need to put some feelers out there to some of our acquaintances—very discreetly, of course—to see if they've heard of such a thing. We'll need to be very careful as to the wording of our request. The Volturi....**_

He didn't need to elaborate. The last thing we needed was for Aro to find out about Bella's pregnancy. Heaven only knew how they'd react to a half human/half vampire baby with the physiology of a shape shifter. It wouldn't be pretty, that much I could predict.

"What about Charlie...and Jacob?" I sighed, finally addressing a topic I was delaying mentioning. The other stuff seemed almost easy compared to the issue of how to deal with her family and friends. "She's not mentioned much yet, but I feel sure that very soon she's going to insist upon seeing them. How are we going to handle that?"

_**That is problematic but, frankly, not high on my priority list at the moment. Perhaps we should delay her as long as possible, to give us time to see how this pregnancy is going to progress, and also time to figure out what we're going to tell them. Do you have any ideas on that front?** _

"No," I snorted. "Jacob is going to spontaneously combust when he finds out. But at least _he_ knows what we are. Charlie. I have no idea what to do about him. How do we explain a shortened pregnancy, and her deteriorating condition, without going into details? He'll insist she be taken to a hospital—it's what any responsible father would do. We certainly can't do that. I'm at a loss."

_**So, let's put that on the backburner for now, and think on it awhile. Maybe Bella has some ideas.** _

"Oh, I'm sure she does," I muttered. Trouble was, did I want to hear them? If she had her way, Jacob would be here within the hour holding her hand and glaring at me with his beady black eyes. I'd immediately feel like the odd guy out and want to smash his head in for no other reason than the fact he was still walking around sucking up oxygen.

_**And let us not forget about the pack, and the treaty. What impact is this news going to have on our relations with them?** _

Finally, a hint of tiredness in Carlisle's voice. The questions that needed answers were growing by the minute and both of us were feeling the frustration at not having any. That was another topic that had escaped my attention. Jacob and his temper aside, what was Sam and his pack going to think about this new life Bella was trying to bring into the world? Would they consider it merely a perverse oddity, a freak of nature, or would they see it as a threat, a violation of the treaty? Were we also facing a war with the wolves, as well as possible retaliation by the Volturi, if the news got out?

"I think you're right, Carlisle. We need to think long and hard before we open our mouths to anyone. The ramifications of this go well beyond our little corner of Forks. I don't think Bella has even given that a moment's thought. You can be sure I'll explain it to her when the subject of visitors comes up."

* * *

  
I heard Bella vomiting before I even made it to the front door. I rushed inside and down the hall to find her balled up in the floor of the bathroom next to the toilet. Rosalie was kneeling beside her, holding her hair back and speaking soothing words to her. She glanced up at me over her shoulder; I was surprised to see her eyes wide and filled with a worry uncharacteristic of Rose.

"She just got through eating a sandwich about an hour ago," she said quietly, answering my silent question. She got up and moved aside as I knelt in the floor behind Bella.

"Bella, I'm here," I whispered soothingly. I held her hair as her body shook with the effort of expelling everything from her stomach. At the same time, I listened curiously to the thoughts swirling through Rose's head. She was worried. Was Bella going to be all right? Was the baby? Was there anything she could do to help?

I looked up at her in gratitude. "Thank you."

She frowned at me. _**I do have a heart, you know.**_  

"So I see," I acknowledged with a perplexed, but pleased, smile. "As to what you can do to help? Call Carlisle and explain what 's going on. Let me know what he advises."

She nodded and threw a concerned glance back at Bella as she left the bathroom to make the call. Bella sank back into my arms, exhausted from her ordeal. We huddled together in the floor, neither one of us saying a word. One of her shaking hands clutched at the front of my shirt, while the other clutched at my lower back. I did the only things I knew to do: I held her, rocked her, and whispered comforting words into her hair. 

I listened to her heartbeat frantically racing from the exertion of vomiting. The other one—the tiny one—was beating its normal rhythm: steady and strong, oblivious to the damage it was inflicting upon the fragile human body it was inhabiting.

_You're making it very difficult for me to love you, little one._

 

 


	6. Marriage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also writing a story entitled "In Search of Forever" which deals with Alice's human life before her transformation. Toward the end of this chapter of The Road Not Taken, I'm introducing a side story that deals with Alice, and which will eventually intertwine "The Road Not Taken" with "In Search of Forever", albeit in two different time periods. (Alice's story takes place in the early 20th century. The Road Not Taken in the early 21st century.) You may understand this minor plot line much better if you're familiar with Alice's story. Perhaps this would be a good time for you to start reading it! 
> 
> This side story with Alice is NOT a major plot line, just something extra going on in conjunction with Bella and Edward's story. The main focus of this story will continue to be Bella, Edward, Renesmee and Jacob.

**~ BELLA ~**  

I awoke to the sound of Edward's soft, velvet humming, and his male hardness pressing against my back. Both were wonderful and I didn't want either to go away. I lay very still, not daring to move anything except my eyes. I glanced out the windows, but the bird feeder was deserted. My hands were itching to move downward to my stomach, to say a silent good morning to the life inside me, but I resisted, and instead closed my eyes and listened to my husband's soothing voice.

"Good morning," he murmured.

 _Drat!_ "It's so annoying when you do that!" I exclaimed, frustrated at my thwarted attempt to fool him. I turned over, rather grumpily, to face him. His golden eyes were shining down at me with amused confusion.

"Do what, love?"

"Know the instant that I'm awake. I wanted to listen to you hum a while longer before I had to "officially" wake up."

"Well then, turn back over and pretend to sleep, and I'll pretend that I don't know you're awake."

I growled at him. "It won't be the same and you know it. What were you humming?"

"Nothing special." He grinned. "I was just passing time while a certain beautiful brunette slept away the morning in a completely decadent fashion." 

"Beautiful?" I muttered. "All you've seen of me the past couple of days is my backside while I hug the toilet and throw up."

"My, but you're grumpy this morning," he teased. "Was spending the evening with Rosalie that bad?"

"Actually, no. She was very sweet." I chuckled, remembering her puppy dog eagerness to please me. "We talked girl talk, you know? It was kind of nice."

Edward's eyes widened in disbelief. "Girl talk? Rosalie?? Are you sure we're talking about the same person?"

"Yes, we're talking about the same person." I chuckled. "But I don't want to talk about Rosalie anymore." I leaned in and kissed him, my hand snaking slowly down his stomach. A gorgeous soft moan sounded deep in his throat as my hand closed around him. I wondered idly, as his fingers made their way into my hair, if I'd ever get enough of this beautiful man.

"Bella," he groaned in frustration as he tugged my hand gently away. "As much as I'd enjoy it, we can't spend the morning lolling around in bed. Carlisle has to get to the hospital, and he wants to examine you before he leaves. It would be impolite to keep him waiting."

I did my best imitation of an irritated grizzly, which caused Edward to break out in laughter at my expense. "Someone _definitely_ got up on the wrong side of the bed." 

"I'm not grumpy," I muttered. "I just want you. Is there anything wrong with that? We _are_ married, after all."

"You can have me, love, as much of me as you can stand... _tonight_ ," he murmured, his lips barely grazing my cheek as he spoke. "I promise."

I purred in contentment at just the thought of what tonight would bring.

"Carlisle suggested that you nibble on a cracker and sip some water to help with the nausea before you get out of bed. It's on the nightstand." He pulled himself from my arms. "I'll go fix you something light to eat while you get ready."

"Edward." I sat up in the bed and watched him get dressed. "Can you hear it?" I didn't need to elaborate. He knew what I was referring to. His eyes found mine as he adjusted his clothes, and they were strangely unreadable.

"Yes, I hear it."

"Does it sound...all right?"

He smiled, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "It's very strong, Bella. You needn't worry." With that, he left the room to make my breakfast.

Only then did my hands stray to my stomach. I couldn't believe how fast this baby was growing. My stomach had gotten even larger since last night. "Good morning, Little Nudger. Mommy loves you," I murmured softly. "And Daddy does, too. He just doesn't know it yet." I sighed aloud, pulled out a cracker to nibble on, and wondered what it was going to take to get Edward to love and accept this child as much as I did.

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

  
Bella yelped and ran into Alice's arms as soon as we entered the house. "Alice! Where have you been? I've missed you. We haven't talked since I got back."

Alice laughed. "Sorry. Jasper and I went hunting last night. I _do_ have to eat, you know." She extricated herself from Bella and grinned excitedly. "Let me make it up to you. I'll stay with you while Carlisle does his exam, then we'll go back to the cottage and spend the morning together. How's that sound?"

Bella sighed. "I'd love that." She looked to me for approval.

I smiled and shrugged. "That's fine with me."

I shot a pointed glance at Alice, silently warning her to watch her words during their visit. I knew without a doubt that Bella would ask about any visions Alice might be having, and for the sake of her emotional health she didn't need to know all the gory details.

_**Don't worry, Edward. I'll be very careful what I say.** _

I gave Alice an imperceptible nod as Carlisle entered the room and greeted Bella.

"Where is everybody?" I asked, after Carlisle's greeting. Once again, the house was strangely silent.

"Esme and Rosalie left early this morning for a day of shopping," Carlisle explained. _**For the nursery**_ he added silently. "Emmett is away hunting, and Jasper's around somewhere."

"He's in our rooms reading some boring old book about war," Alice interjected with a pout.

I laughed and turned to Bella, planting a kiss on the top of her head, which got me a smile in return. "I'll be upstairs in my room if you need me." I waited until they'd gone on ahead before I made my way up the stairs to the third floor, and my old room. I stood in the doorway and did a visual survey. Everything was much the same as I'd left it. The sofa was gone but, with the addition of the giant bed, it was inevitable that Esme would eventually have gotten rid of it. The room had been much too cramped, even with it pushed up against a far wall.

My gaze strayed to the bookcase with its shelves of neatly aligned journals, and the reason for my visit. I pulled the last journal off the shelf, sat down on the bed and flipped through it. I'd stopped writing on the last day we'd visited the meadow before our wedding. I glanced through the last few pages, until one particular passage caught my eye:

_"The wedding is next week. Everything is planned and ready, as Alice has informed me. Jasper keeps hovering over me like a mother hen, asking if I'm all right. Emmett never misses a chance to rib me about getting 'cold feet.' Yes, it's a bad vampire joke, but Emmett seems to have a never-ending supply of them. I've searched deep within myself looking for those proverbial cold feet, but they're nowhere to be found. I am definitely ready for this. I've been ready for it since the day Bella put my ring on her finger. Happiness is within my reach, finally. I can hardly wait for..."_

I sighed and closed the journal without finishing the passage. I didn't want to read any further. I didn't want to remember how bright my future had been just a few short weeks ago. _How quickly things can change._

A soft knock at the door interrupted my headlong rush into depression. _Jasper._

"Come in." I sighed because I could already tell by the tenor of his thoughts that he was in mother hen mode again. He seemed to be as good at worrying as I was at brooding.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked hesitantly, as he shut the door quietly behind him.

"I have an eternity," I replied, smiling ironically. "Especially since Alice has decided to spend some time with Bella today. Who knows how long she'll hold her captive."

He ignored my attempt at humor. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" he asked, his eyes filled with concern.

I snorted. "Yes, there is. You can explain this marriage thing to me, and just exactly what it is I'm doing wrong. Nothing has worked out like I expected it to."

That brought an unexpected laugh out of him. He crossed the room, sat down in the armchair, and grinned. "Welcome to the club, little brother. We all wonder the same thing nearly every day."

"You guys made it look so easy all these years, or maybe I just wasn't paying attention."

"It _is_ easy, sometimes, but only if you understand the rules." He smiled. "Think of it this way, Edward. Your wife is like your ally in a battle. Even though she's your friend, you still need to be aware of her strengths and weaknesses, along with your own, because only _together_ will you defeat any outside enemy that attacks your marriage.

"Now, you also need to consider your marriage as a whole, like a war. A war consists of many smaller battles, some won, some lost. You have to learn when to stand your ground, and when to give ground. Pick your battles carefully. Stand firm on the ones that mean the most to you, and give in on the one's that don't. Only retreat when there's no hope of victory. It's better to fall back and live to fight another day, than to die of stupidity."

"That's the problem, Jasper. I've already given ground on something really important, and I didn't want to. Bella promised she'd listen to Carlisle's recommendations about whether to terminate the pregnancy, and what does she do? She completely backed out of her promise and flat out refused to listen to reason! She said our marriage would be over if I forced her into it."

He seemed surprised at that, but recovered quickly. "Well, since Bella threatened to take all of her marbles and go home, you had no other choice but to give in. Sometimes marriage is like that. You don't always get the victory you imagined in your head."

"Do you look at everything in life from a military standpoint?" I snorted in amusement. "Are you constantly examining Alice's flanks for weaknesses so you can penetrate her defenses and overtake her?"

Jasper laughed loudly. "Alice's flanks are very strong, I can assure you. That's why I'm forced to penetrate her defenses from behind and take her unawares most of the time." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and smirked.

I couldn't help but laugh along with him at his military analogy. Crudeness aside, it seemed to describe his and Alice's relationship perfectly. They very rarely had cross words with each other, but seemed to have found a way to coexist peacefully, each happy with the outcomes of whatever small battles they fought within their marriage. I only hoped Bella and I could eventually reach the same level of understanding and compromise.

Jasper smiled. "It's good to see you laugh. Not enough of that going on since you two got back."

It felt good to laugh, too. "So does Emmett look at marriage the same way?" I asked curiously, wondering if I should get a second opinion just to be safe.

"Are you kidding?!" Jasper hooted. "Emmett is totally whipped." I laughed because it was obviously true. "But Rose is too, so it works for them." Emmett pretty much went along with whatever made Rosalie happy, and she did the same thing for him. It seemed to suit them.

"What about Carlisle and Esme? How do they do it, and make it seem so effortless?"

Jasper shook his head, and when he spoke, his voice was filled with awe. "Complete unselfish love on both their parts. I wish you could experience what it's like to be in the same room with them when they're totally focused on each other. The depth of emotion that surrounds them is like nothing I've ever felt before. Their marriage is an example of what we should all aspire to. So, does any of that help at all?" 

"A little. I see now there's a fine balance between standing firm on your principles and becoming totally whipped." I chuckled. "Somewhere in-between is where I'd like to end up. The problem is how to get there."

"Quit analyzing it to death, Edward. That's the best advice I can give you. Just go with it. It's mostly trial and error anyway, but you'll eventually figure out what's suits you and Bella best."

I decided to take his advice and push the puzzling complexities of marriage to the back of my mind for awhile. Time to find out what exactly had brought Jasper to my door. "What's worrying you?" I asked.

He sighed helplessly. "The tension in this house, it's getting to me. Alice has been out-of-sorts ever since we learned of Bella's pregnancy. Carlisle is on edge. Esme and Rosalie appear on the surface to be ecstatic about your news, but I feel a constant undercurrent of anxiety surrounding them. Emmett is off hunting alone. That right there tells you how upset _he_ is."

"I'm truly sorry. I've been so wrapped up in my own feelings I completely forgot about how this might be affecting the rest of you. I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible for Bella at home, but as for the rest, I don't know what to do about it."

"I know what you mean. Sometimes I just want to drape the whole house in a cloak of comfort and be done with it, but everyone seems to get upset when I interfere. Alice practically bit my head off last night when I attempted to calm her. I don't know what to do about it either, frankly," Jasper said quietly.

Both of us fell silent. I didn't know what to say, and from his thoughts I could tell he didn't either. It was like the whole family had gotten caught up in this tidal wave of Bella's pregnancy, and it was sweeping us along with it, our struggles to escape it, useless.

"Maybe spending some time with Bella will do Alice good," Jasper said. At my confused glance, he continued. "She isn't herself." 

"I can imagine, especially considering the visions she's been having."

_**No, Edward. It's more than that.** _

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly worried. I didn't like what I was hearing in his head.

_**I don't know what I mean. I just know it's something...different. And she's not telling me anything.** _

"Do you want me to talk to her?" I couldn't imagine what could be bothering Alice that she wouldn't share with Jasper. No wonder he was worried.

"I would appreciate that, thank you. She might tell _you,_ " he said. As he rose to leave, he added, "And if Bella needs comfort, just call me."

After he left, I pondered, for quite awhile, what the future might have in store for the Cullen family. I had a feeling the events of the next few weeks were going to have a lasting effect on all of us. I pulled a blank journal off the shelf and sat down in the armchair with pen in hand.

Perhaps it was time to start writing again.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

"I'm sorry, Alice." I moaned and wiped my mouth with the washcloth. "I can't seem to keep anything in my stomach for any length of time." I'd barely made it to the bathroom of the cottage, before my entire breakfast had ended up in the toilet.

"Should I get Edward or Carlisle?" she asked worriedly.

"No!" I exclaimed a little too loudly. "I'll be fine, really."

Alice helped me down the hallway to the bedroom, and got me all propped up against the headboard in a mountainous pile of pillows. After numerous assurances that I was fine, she finally flounced down on the bed at my feet and crossed her legs.

"I have a confession to make." She flashed her eyes up at me hesitantly, but a mischievous grin was playing at her mouth. "Don't be mad. Please?" She waited until I made some sort of acceptable noise of concession before continuing. "I'm buying you some maternity clothes, and don't you dare fuss about it. Those sweat pants are hideous, Bella! How do you expect to keep Edward interested in you—if you know what I mean—with those dreadful things falling off of you like a potato sack? He is a man, after all, and men like their women to stay attractive. Not that Edward wouldn't love you no matter what you wore, and he'd never be so rude as to say anything, but still he—"

"Alice," I interrupted her non-stop chatter with a laugh. "Alice, stop!"

Her voice died away; she looked at me with sad eyes, like she already knew what was coming.

"Thank you," I answered with a smile. "I'd love something nice to wear. Just don't go overboard. In case you haven't noticed, this pregnancy isn't going to last a long time. Maybe a couple of comfortable outfits and some soft shoes would be nice."

Her mouth dropped open; her eyes widened in shock. The next instant, they narrowed suspiciously. "Why are you being so agreeable all of a sudden?"

"It seems rather silly now, with everything that's going on, to get all upset over something as frivolous as clothes." I hesitated as she absorbed that in silence. I took a deep breath and broached the subject, the taboo subject I was almost positive Edward had warned her _not_ to talk about. "What's going to happen?" 

She looked away and down at her lap. "I don't know. I'm seeing so many different things, Bella, and I'm sure it's all Edward's fault. Apparently, he's constantly thinking about this, and every time he settles on something, my vision changes. He considers something else, and it changes again, and again, and again! It's the same with Carlisle. Every medical scenario that goes through his mind affects what I see. I don't know how much longer I can stand it."

"Oh, Alice," I murmured. I scooted down beside her and folded her in my arms. We sat that way, just hugging each other, for a long time. Everyone always counted so heavily on her visions, but none of us ever bothered to consider the toll it took on _her._

She pulled away and sighed. "I've seen every possible scenario, from the best possible outcome, to the worst one, and everything in between. I have no idea what's going to happen, and even if I did—which I don't—Edward would have my head if I told you. I'm sorry. I'm just not much help to anyone right now."

I couldn't stand seeing Alice so depressed. It wasn't natural. "That's not true," I scolded her gently. "There's one thing you can do to help me right now." She looked doubtful, but I persisted. "You can give me some marital advice. Tell me how you and Jasper make it work."

She gasped in shock. "Are you and Edward having problems already?" 

"No, not really," I said hastily. "But with Charlie and Renee and their history, I'm just afraid of messing things up. I can use all the advice I can get."

"Okay," she hesitated, obviously gathering her thoughts. "Well, you know how you unexpectedly come upon a shoe sale, and there's this beautiful pair of fuchsia pumps that you _know_  matches absolutely nothing in your closet, but they're such a good deal you just can't leave them there on the shelf, so you buy them anyway? Who knows? Maybe tomorrow you'll come across a really amazing fuchsia skirt to match them. It's not like you're wasting money or anything, you're just anticipating a future need." She grinned. "That's just like marriage."

I stared at her, blank-faced and totally clueless.

"You don't get it, do you?" she asked with a disappointed smile.

I sighed. "Not in this lifetime."

"It means that you should always try to anticipate what your husband needs, and I'm not just talking materials things, but also what he needs _emotionally_. When you find out what they are, try your hardest to give those things to him in overwhelming abundance. When I met Jasper, he was so lost and ready to give up. I realized, even before I met him, he needed someone to give him hope and a meaningful direction to his life. I've tried to give that to him every single day of our marriage. All you have to do is figure out what Edward needs the most, then give it to him."

She made it all sound so simple. The problem was, what Edward needed most, I'd already taken away from him: my safety. By insisting on having this baby, I'd literally pulled his emotional rug out from under him. I wondered if he'd ever forgive me for it if something went wrong. "Anything else?" I asked, pushing the issue of my safety to the back of my mind, for the moment.

"Never take each other for granted," she added. "Do nice, simple little things for each other. Let him know you're thinking about him when you're apart. Have dates together whenever you can." At my startled look, she continued earnestly. "That's right, dates! Just because you're married doesn't mean you're through dating, and it doesn't have to be anything fancy, just so long as you're concentrating only on each other. An evening of dancing or reading together, or even just talking will work. And that's another thing," she continued before I could open my mouth. "Communication. A marriage simply cannot survive unless you talk to each other. No secrets. Jasper and I tell each other...everything..." Her voice suddenly dwindled away to a whisper; her golden eyes slid sadly away from mine.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, Bella," she wailed softly. "I am _not_ the one to be giving you marital advice. I've been keeping something from Jasper and I think he suspects, but he's not pushing the issue."

"What is it? I won't say anything if you want to talk about it," I offered. I couldn't even begin to imagine her keeping a secret from Jasper, let alone what that secret could be.

She hesitated for a long time. When she finally spoke, her eyes drifted away from the bedroom and away from Forks. To where, I had no idea. "It's been happening to me for a long time, even before Jasper and I came to live with Carlisle. It doesn't happen often—I can probably count on both hands the times it's happened throughout the years—but it's so unnerving when it does."

She stopped and took a deep breath thatI knew she didn't need. I waited impatiently for her to continue.

"I hear a voice, a _man's_ voice. But it's not really a clear voice, it's more like an echo of an echo. It's so faint I almost think it's my imagination, but I know it isn't. This voice, it's like a wisp of smoke. If I try to reach out and grasp it, it disappears through my fingers. It's really strange."

"You don't know who it is?"

She shook her head. "No, I have no idea. The words mean nothing to me most of the time, but sometimes, I get the eerie feeling they _should._ I can't figure it out."

"That _is_ strange," I said.

"It gets even stranger." She smiled sadly. "Since you and Edward have been back, I've heard children in my head, laughing and playing. I can't tell if they're boys or girls or how old they are. Again, it's like a very faint echo. And I have this feeling—" she continued softly. "—I can't explain it, but I feel very deeply about this child you're carrying." Her eyes met mine, and they were filled with confusion, but also an intensity I'd never seen in her before. "This baby is so very important to me, and I don't understand why."

"I never realized you felt that way." She'd never seemed to be that interested in children. Her admission of her feelings for our baby stunned me. "You should tell Jasper. Maybe he could help."

She sighed. "I will eventually. I'm just trying to figure it out before I do. I don't even know who this man is. What if he meant something to me a long time ago? I don't know how Jasper would feel about that."

"I'm sure he'd understand," I assured her. "You need to take your own advice and just talk to him about it."

"You're right, and I will. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," she said, brightening again, waving her hand in dismissal. "You just worry about you and Edward. Talk to him about everything, Bella, and don't ever keep anything from him."

Our conversation took a lighter turn after that. We talked about what type of outfits she should buy me, how Edward and I were liking the cottage, and what colors we should do the baby's room in, and other such frivolous girl talk. As she chattered on, my hands inadvertently made their way down to my stomach, as they so often did now. Alice stopped talking, her gaze following my hands.

"May I?" she asked shyly. When I nodded and lifted my sweatshirt, she laid her cool hand very gently on my stomach, rather hoping, I think, that she would feel the baby move. We both waited forever, but nothing happened. She sighed and pulled away. "You and Edward are so lucky," she said wistfully.

It was obvious from the longing in her voice that Alice loved this child already. Rosalie was most definitely anticipating its arrival. Which begged the question: How did everyone else feel? Were Carlisle and Esme excited about becoming grandparents? I suspected they were, even though they'd never came right out and said it. Jasper was always so quiet and, even now, still kept a safe distance from me. It was difficult to know his feelings about anything. Emmett was always so outgoing and smiling around me, but I'd hardly seen him since I'd been back. The one time I had, he'd been uncharacteristically subdued. But if Rose was happy about it, surely Emmett would be too?

 _Charlie._ He'd be ecstatic, no question. The only problem was how to break the news to him. Once he got over the shock, I just knew he'd love this baby as much as I did. Renee would too.

Jacob was the only one who would implode at the news. I wanted to see him so badly, but I was dreading it at the same time. I had no hope he'd ever come around to actually accepting a child of mine and Edward's. It was expecting a lot from him to get him to even accept our _marriage_ , let alone the fact that we had sex like other married couples and then accidentally got pregnant.

"Bella, what are you thinking?" Alice asked, placing a concerned hand on my arm.

"Everyone seems to love this baby already," I answered softly. "Everyone except Edward."

 


	7. The Calm Before the Storm

**~ EDWARD ~**

I spent the rest of the morning catching up on my journaling, and most of the afternoon in Carlisle's office researching vampire history. The two thick books he had suggested that I read first yielded nothing useful. The Internet, however, was a different story. There were pages and pages of information describing the mythological creature referred to in human folklore as the incubus: a male vampire who preyed sexually upon human women, impregnating them with his demon seed. But that was as far as it went. None of the myths went into any great detail concerning the end result of such sexual encounters.

I came to the conclusion, after a couple of hours of reading, that most of it was nonsense. The women in all of the stories most likely had affairs while their husbands were away, and fell back upon the age-old myth of the incubus to try and explain an accidental pregnancy to their suspicious husbands. If they'd been assaulted by a real vampire, none of them would have lived to tell about it, let alone given birth to a hybrid child. But surely Bella and I were not the only two people this had happened to?

I sighed aloud in frustration. It seemed there was nothing—no history or credible folklore, no anything—to guide us through this. The Cullens were on their own.

* * *

 

After my fruitless search for information, I finally emerged out of Carlisle's office and bumped into Esme and Rosalie on the landing. They'd just returned from town and were giggling like two teenagers, their heads bent together in collusion as they rushed up the stairs with their packages. Carlisle arrived home from the hospital shortly after and ensconced himself behind closed doors in his office. Emmett bounded up the stairs next, delivering a quick and hard fist jab to my shoulder. He roared with laughter and announced his presence to Rosalie and everyone else in the known universe as he raced past me up the stairs.

But it was when Alice arrived with Bella that the lightness of the evening dampened somewhat, at least for me. Bella looked very tired, and I detected the faint scent of sickness on her breath. Alice silently told me of her vomiting, and that she'd made her rest in bed for most of the day while they'd talked. She'd also helped her get a quick shower before they'd left.

I would have figured that out pretty quickly even without Alice telling me. Bella's still damp hair now infused the house with her mouthwatering scent, and was made even more alluring by the hormones raging in her body. I wasn't the only one who noticed. When everyone came downstairs to greet her, an uncomfortable hush fell over the room. Jasper quickly withdrew to a corner far away from her. Each and every vampire, except for Carlisle, struggled in his or her own way to deal with the smell—even me. It was Esme who saved the day.

"It's such a pleasant evening," she said, smiling. "Why don't we all go out on the porch and enjoy it." Everyone enthusiastically embraced that idea, and as one body moved out the front door in a rush, leaving Bella and I standing alone in the middle of the living room.

She looked up at me in confusion.

I chuckled. "You sure know how to clear a room." 

"What did I do?" she asked, frowning.

"Bella, love. With your damp hair and your hormones raging, you smell like the vampire equivalent of a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top." I laughed aloud as she blushed profusely. "Don't worry." I smiled, gathering her into my arms. "Everyone can handle it, even Jasper. It's mind over matter, remember?"

The gray overcast sky of morning was gone, pushed aside by an early evening blanket of deep blue—a rarity in Forks. The sun turned a deepening gold as it moved closer to the horizon, spreading streaks of red, orange and pink out from its center. Alice informed us that a storm was moving in, but not until later tonight. Yet another reason to gather on the porch and enjoy the respite of a dry evening before the rain descended upon us once again.

Bella and I were seated in the glider, our hands clasped tightly, and the length of her thigh pressed wonderfully close to mine. Alice was leaning against the porch railing to our right, while Rose and Emmett were lounging against the wall to our left. Esme and Carlisle were in the rockers, their hands clasped together over the empty air between them. Jasper was down on the steps, leaning against the handrail.

The atmosphere didn't improve once we moved out onto the porch. A pall of uneasiness hung in the air. Everyone seemed unsure of what to say. Their thoughts were filled with worry over Bella and the baby, and embarrassment at their earlier weakness. I was floundering around in my mind for something suitable to talk about when Emmett came to my silent rescue.

_**Well, that's it! I've had enough of this depressing, uncomfortable shit.** _

I smiled to myself. God only knew what mischief Emmett had in mind to break the ice.

"I have this really weird feeling," Emmett said suddenly, a pained expression spreading over his face. His remark was so random that everyone's eyes, except mine, immediately turned to him in puzzlement.

"It's really strange. It's down here, in the pit of my stomach." He rubbed his abdomen like he might be in pain, which everyone, except maybe Bella, knew couldn't possibly be true.

"Awwww, what's the matter, baby?" Rose was immediately draped all over him, rubbing his shoulders and making simpering noises of comfort.

"It's like I suddenly have this overwhelming feeling that I could kick Jasper's ass right now." He grinned from ear to ear and stared at Jasper leaning against the railing. Everyone tittered in amusement, knowing what was coming. Bella sneaked a puzzled glance at me. I smiled and shrugged.

"They have medicine for that—" Jasper answered quietly. Then, with an evil grin, he added, "— _little brother._ "

As expected, Emmett growled. "Let's take this out in the yard! Don't want to tear up the porch when I tear up your head!"

Jasper smiled, and gestured with a sweep of his arm, like the perfect southern gentleman. "After you... _little brother_."

We all laughed softly when Emmett growled again and stalked past Jasper down the steps and into the yard. In a matter of seconds, they were grappling on the grass, rolling around and growling like a couple of dogs fighting for territory.

"Are they going to be all right?" Bella asked with concern.

"Oh sure." I smiled. "They do this all the time. It's usually Emmett who starts it. He gets bored and picks a fight. Emmett's immensely strong, but Jasper's a born fighter. He'll eventually win. When he gets in the zone, it's a thing of beauty to watch."

Bella arched an eyebrow in doubt. I admit, what we were watching now was far from a thing of beauty, but Jasper would eventually get bored and put an end to it.

"Little brother?" she asked, confused. Everyone else on the porch chuckled at her question.

I snickered. "Even though Emmett is bigger, Jasper is actually older, and Emmett loves playing the older brother. It makes him mad when Jasper calls him that." 

We all fell silent and watched the "fight" in the yard, laughing at how absurd they both looked. I'd have to thank Em later for bringing a little joy into our evening. Just hearing Bella laugh was worth watching those two go at each other yet again.

Suddenly a thought occurred to me. "I can't wait until you're a newborn and can take Emmett down once and for all." 

"Will I really be able to do that?" she asked, looking doubtful.

I grinned. "Oh, yes. You'll be stronger than all of us, including Emmett. Promise me that will be one of the first things you'll do as a vampire."

Bella chuckled and looked over at Rosalie to gauge her reaction. Rose was smirking with amusement. "Sometimes my Monkey Man needs to be taken down a notch or two. I think it'll be fun. I say go for it! Just make sure I'm around when you do it. His big 'ole ego will need a little stroking afterwards."

"All right then, I promise." She took a deep breath and exhaled with a new bravado. "When I am finally a vampire, the first thing I'm going to do is kick Emmett's butt!" We all howled with laughter, except Emmett and Jasper, whose antics in the yard were continuing unabated.

"They're going to ruin their clothes... _again_ ," Alice lamented as she watched them roll around, picking up grass stains as they went.

Then I noticed Esme and Rose exchanging glances. I frowned at Esme in silent question. _**Do you think it would be all right to show her the nursery? It's finally ready.**_

I personally thought it was a little premature, but knowing how Bella loved this baby already, it would probably be good for her. I gave them an almost imperceptible nod.

"Bella," Esme said, smiling. "Could you come upstairs with us? We have something to show you."

"Sure. Are you coming?" she asked me.

"No, I think I'll stay here with Carlisle and monitor the fight."

Bella joined Esme and Rose at the door. "Alice? You coming?" Esme asked.

"I think I'll stay here, too. I've talked Bella's ear off enough for one day."

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

"Close your eyes," Rosalie ordered softly. They guided me down the hall and stopped. I heard sounds of a door being opened and then silence. "Okay, now open them."

What I saw made me gasp aloud in wonder. It was a nursery, and not just any nursery. It had to be the most beautiful nursery I had ever seen! I slowly stepped inside and did a quick sweep of the room. The dark wooden sleigh bed caught my eye immediately. It was a truly stunning piece of furniture and was the centerpiece of the entire room. It sat snug inside a recessed alcove, and appeared to be nestled beneath the branches of a tree.

"The tree mural was Rose's idea," Esme said, noticing that my gaze was fixed on that tree.  

It reminded me of our meadow, where it all started for us. It was so fitting. I gasped again when I realized there was a nest of baby birds tucked safely away in the branches of that tree! Edward's cardinal story came rushing back. Our precious children hidden safely away from harm, the mother or father bird swooping in to feed them. And there were two baby birds in that nest. _Two birds..._

"I hope you like lambs," Esme said hesitantly. "That was my idea."

I tore my eyes away from the tree and swept them over the room again. Lambs were everywhere! A circular rug on the pale hardwood floor was ringed with plump white lambs. A lamb stool stood in the floor by the crib, with a toy stuffed lamb leaning against a leg. A blanket hung over the crib railings, lambs scattered all over it. Even the throw pillows on the huge beige sofa were dotted with little white lambs.

_And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..._

Tears stung my eyes as I took it all in. "It's perfect," I said, sniffing and trying desperately to hold in my emotions.

Esme guided me to the sofa. "Perhaps you should sit down," she said with concern. Esme and Rosalie took their place on either side of me.

"Can he hear us?" I whispered, my voice so faint as to barely be heard, but I knew Esme and Rose had heard.  

Their bodies went completely still; their eyes slid away from mine as they both concentrated their hearing on the goings on outside. "They're all talking together now. I don't think anyone is paying attention to us," Esme said quietly.

That was when the tears started to flow and I couldn't stop them. Esme and Rose gasped softly in alarm and reached for me, but stopped short of actually touching me.

"I'm so scared," I cried softly, crossing my arms over my chest and trying to hold back the gut wrenching sobs that were threatening to break free. I had to stay quiet or Edward would hear me and be beside me in a second, his eyes filled with fear and worry. I didn't think I could handle that. "I don't want Edward to know, but I'm so afraid. I want this baby, but I don't know if I'm going to be alive to even see it born."

Esme gathered me up in her arms. I sobbed quietly into her shoulder, my tears soaking her cashmere sweater. I felt the soft touch of another cool hand on my leg: Rosalie. Both of them crooned softly to me, stroked my hair, and tenderly rubbed my back. I hadn't given myself over so completely to my emotions since I was a small child crying in Renee's arms. Esme had essentially become my surrogate mother, and Rosalie the big sister I'd never had. I finally pulled away from Esme and attempted to dry my eyes. A tissue appeared out of thin air. I sniffed and grabbed at it like it was a lifeline. They both watched me in concern as I blew my nose and tried to pull myself back together into some semblance of calm. I could never go back downstairs and face Edward in the shape I was in now.

"You know Carlisle and Edward would never let anything happen to you," Esme said soothingly. "I know Carlisle is studying this situation constantly. He's not going to let anything bad happen to you _or_ his grandchild. He loves you both. We _all_ do, Bella."

"Edward doesn't," I whispered. A fresh round of tears coursed down my cheeks as I finally gave voice to the horrible truth that hung between Edward and I.

"What do you mean?" she asked, astonished.

"Edward doesn't want this baby," I wailed softly. "He doesn't stay with me during my exams, he avoids touching my stomach, and we never talk about the baby at all. He wasn't even interested in seeing this nursery, and after all the trouble you guys went to!"

"That's just not true," Esme protested. Rosalie joined in, claiming that everyone in the family loved me and was looking forward to having a baby in the house.

"He wanted me to have an abortion, Esme," I continued. "That doesn't sound like someone who wants and loves their own child."

"I'm sure that was his fear talking," Esme said softly. "Seeing you sick, and not knowing what's going to happen, is weighing heavily on him. He's terrified of losing you, so much so that he can't see anything beyond that fear. Please be patient with him. I know deep down in my heart that Edward loves this baby. He just doesn't realize it yet."

I nodded and dabbed at the last few remaining tears. I could only hope in my heart of hearts that Esme knew what she was talking about. But what was it going to take to make him acknowledge that love?

"Feel better?" Esme smiled and pushed a strand of hair back from my face that had gotten caught in my tears.

"Actually, I do. I think a good cry was exactly what I needed. I've been trying to be so strong for Edward, and I guess it just got to be too much," I admitted. "It would tear him apart if he saw me break down like this. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder."

"That's what family is for, right?" Rosalie asked, smiling sympathetically. "So, you like the nursery?"

"No." I shook my head. "I don't like it." I hesitated for effect and then laughed. "I _love_  it, you guys! You have no idea how perfect it is!"

"Yes!" Rose hissed triumphantly. "Esme and I definitely have skills." At Esme's amused glower, Rose added an addendum. "Well, Esme does anyway," she admitted sheepishly. "She picked out most of the decor."

Before we left the nursery to return downstairs, I turned once more and surveyed the room. More than anything, I wanted Edward by my side at that moment, both of us admiring the room where our child would sleep while visiting its grandparents. I wanted to share the tree mural with him, and point out the baby birds in the nest. Would he see the significance of the lambs? I sighed inwardly.

"Can I take that with me?" I asked, pointing to the little stuffed lamb propped up against the stool.

"Of course," Rosalie said, brightening. _"I_ picked that out. It was so cute!" She scooped it up from the floor and presented it to me. I crushed its plump little body to my chest.

_And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..._

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

Not long after Bella, Esme and Rose had left, the fight had come to an end. Jasper and Emmett now sat on the porch, their backs leaned up against the railing, listening attentively as I reported my findings to Carlisle and Alice.

"I didn't find out anything, not in those two books, or on the internet. Most of the folklore is human in origin and is nothing but utter nonsense," I explained. "The incubus is nothing more than a legend that was used to explain extramarital affairs and unwanted pregnancies. Hybrid babies weren't even mentioned anywhere. What we really need to do is talk to the older vampires in existence and see if they've ever witnessed anything like this."

"I've been around over three hundred years, Edward, and I've never heard of this happening," Carlisle answered. "Have you, Jasper?"

Besides Carlisle, Jasper was the oldest among us. He shrugged helplessly. "No, nothing."

"Do you know anyone we could contact, Carlisle?"  The Volturi would know, of course, but contacting them or anyone close to them was out of the question.

"Maybe we should go out in search of the information ourselves," Alice suggested. "Jasper and I could go and personally visit some of the older vampires and see if they can help us." Jasper nodded his approval of her idea.

"No!" I interjected hastily. Everyone shot me a puzzled look. "Bella wants you _here_. If you left, it would upset her, and that's the last thing she needs right now.".

"There might be someone..." Carlisle mused softly, his voice trailing off into silence. We turned our attention to him, but he was staring off into the distance. "I haven't seen her in a very long time. But if anyone would have knowledge of something like this, she would."

"Who?" we all asked at practically the same time.

"An ancient vampire I encountered once while living in Italy." A small smile played at his lips as he spoke. "She's a... _unique_...personality, a very special person."

Emmett stared at Carlisle with a puzzled frown. "Uhm, was she...uh...?" Emmett was thinking the same thing we all were probably thinking.

Carlisle laughed softly. "No, Emmett. I wasn't romantically involved with her. We had a very special _friendship_ , but that was all it was."

"I think we should contact her then," Jasper said. "If she's been around that long, surely she would know if any human/vampire babies have survived a birth." It didn't escape my attention that Jasper carefully avoided mentioning the part about the human mother _surviving_ the birth.

"Unfortunately, that's easier said than done." Carlisle sighed. "She's very nomadic and hates staying in one place more than a few days. It would be difficult to pinpoint her location in any given week. Unless..." His voice trailed off again.

"Unless what?" Emmett asked. But Carlisle didn't answer.

_**Unless someone inside the Volturi gave me her location. There are those in Italy who are very...interested...in her whereabouts at all times.** _

I stared at him in shock. Surely he wasn't considering contacting the Volturi? That was too dangerous, even with Bella's life at stake! "Absolutely not." 

_**Don't worry, Edward. I know my way around the dark corridors of the Volturi coven. I know who is friend and who is enemy, and I also know where all their secrets lie.** _

"Carlisle, no," I insisted angrily. Everyone else's eyes were bouncing back and forth between us in confusion.

"Stop that you two!" Emmett growled. Jasper and Alice voiced their frustration at our one-sided conversation, as well.

_**I'll have to be very careful. It may takes some time to accomplish, but like you, I'll do whatever I have to do to see Bella and my grandchild safely through this ordeal. If I can find her in time, I know she'll have information that will be of help to us.** _

"It's too dangerous," I insisted hotly. Just then, Bella, Esme and Rosalie emerged out onto the porch.

"What's too dangerous?" Esme asked, frowning.

Carlisle rose and went to Esme's side. "Nothing, sweetheart," he answered softly. "Did Bella like her surprise?"

When Bella stepped out from behind Rosalie, I was at her side in an instant. Her eyes were red and swollen, obviously from crying. "Bella, what is it, love? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Edward." Bella smiled up at me in response. "Really."

"She cried because the nursery is so beautiful," Rosalie answered smugly. "Esme and I have skills when it comes to decorating, don't we Bella?" All three of them exchanged glances and giggled simultaneously.

"Hey you two," Alice interjected. "I think you'd better head back home. The storm is moving this way fast."

We all looked up at the sky, surprised to see that the beautiful streaks of red and orange of before had been replaced during our conversation with thick masses of dark clouds. They swirled angrily in the sky, their bottoms black and heavy with moisture, as they gathered strength before unleashing their fury on the world below.

Emmett whistled softly. "That's one hell of a storm coming, Edward. Better get Bella safely tucked into that cottage before it hits."

I silently agreed with Emmett's assessment, in more ways than one.

There definitely was one hell of a storm coming...

 

 


	8. Misunderstandings

_**Day 3 in Forks** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

"Sorry." I laughed as I gently set Bella down on the thick rug just inside the doorway of our cottage. In my effort to be careful, I'd kept the pace slower than normal. As a result, we'd gotten caught in the beginnings of the storm and were completely soaked.

I turned on the lights. We both laughed at the same time and stepped back to look at each other. Bella's hair was smooth and black with water. It dripped down the front of her shirt. I could hear the soft plunks of each drop as it hit the rug. Her sweatshirt and pants were soaked and plastered to her body, molded to her curves in all the right places. Her scent permeated the room and every pore in my body. Droplets of rain still clung precariously to her face. When she blinked, they fell from her lashes. One quick swipe of her tongue across her lips was all it took. One minute we were staring at each other and laughing, the next, our mouths were locked together, our hands frantically exploring underneath the heavy folds of wet cloth.

I slowly backed her across the living room until we bumped into the hallway entrance. We leaned against the jamb and pressed our bodies as close as we could, awkwardly maneuvering around her stomach. Thunder rumbled close by as we kissed and touched each other, fanning the flames that had been smoldering at a low heat since this morning.

"Bella," I moaned softly as I buried my nose in her wet hair. "I've wanted you all day."

"So have I," she gasped. "You promised I could have as much of you as I could stand, remember?"

I chuckled as my lips brushed over hers. "And so you shall. Just let me know when you've had enough."

She giggled breathlessly as we backed slowly down the hall, kissing and coming up for air when Bella needed to breathe. I flipped the light switch up as we worked our way past it, Muted light from the antique wall sconces bathed us both in a soft glow. I crawled my fingers up under her shirt, and encountered something fuzzy and soft. Before I could figure out what it was, it dropped to the floor with a soft plop. I wondered what it could be, but then got distracted by the warm mound of her breast beneath my palm.

I closed my eyes and brushed my fingers over her nipples until they became erect, and all the while, Bella was kissing the raindrops from my cheeks, my eyes, my nose and my neck. Her warm mouth closed over mine again just as the thunder rumbled loudly over top of our cottage. The wall at my back, and the floor underneath our feet, vibrated from the strength of it. A few seconds later, lightning crackled violently somewhere close. Bella yelped in surprise and fear. The lights blinked out. We leaned against the hallway wall in total darkness.

"Oh no, the electricity went off," Bella wailed softly.

"Who needs electricity?" I chuckled and proceeded to demonstrate to Bella that I could find my way around in the inky blackness just fine. I snaked my hands down inside the back of her sweatpants and squeezed. "I don't need to see."

"That's easy for _you_ to say." She snorted softly. "You don't have these stupid human eyes. Besides, _I_ like to see what I'm touching."

I growled softly in frustration, and reluctantly pulled my hand out of her pants. I scooped her up into my arms to a chorus of giggles, and carried her down the rest of the hallway, setting her feet firmly on the floor by our bed. "I'll go find a lighter and a candle. You should be naked by the time I return." She giggled again as I kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Bring me a towel on your way back," she said as I turned to leave. "My hair's dripping everywhere."

I found a box of matches and a long white candle in a drawer in the kitchen. I lit the candle and made a stop in the bathroom for a towel. Bella was still standing where I left her, and still fully clothed. I tossed her the towel and moved around the room lighting candles: one on the mantle over the gas logs, one on the small table beside the rocker, and finally one on the nightstand by the bed.

"You were supposed to be naked," I said, smiling as I blew out the long candle. Bella was squeezing and fluffing her hair with the towel, and sending tidal waves of mouthwatering aroma my way.

"Yeah, well..." Her voice trailed off into silence as she continued fooling with her hair and avoiding my eyes. She was blushing furiously. My Bella Radar went off immediately.

"What is it?" I moved closer and tugged the towel gently from her hand. It fell to the floor forgotten. I stroked her warm cheeks as her blush deepened.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

"Bella." I growled in frustration. "Tell me."

"Maybe we don't need candles, after all," she said, her eyes fixed somewhere on the center of my chest.

 _What is with her all of sudden?_ "Weren't you the one who said you liked to see what you were touching?" I tugged on her chin until I could finally look into those beautiful brown eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Maybe you _shouldn't_ see what you're touching," she whispered, so very softly. "I'm not very attractive right now."

Then it hit me what she was talking about: the pregnancy; her stomach. "Do you still not understand my feelings for you, even after all we've been through?" I asked softly in astonishment. She dropped her eyes to my chest again and sighed. "What you look like doesn't affect my feelings for you at all. What must I do to make you understand that?" 

I didn't wait for her response. I gathered the hem of her shirt in my hands and worked it up over her stomach and then to her breasts. She reluctantly lifted her arms and allowed me to pull it over her head and completely off. She avoided my eyes as I stooped and slid her soggy pants down her thighs and to the floor. Her panties quickly followed.

I stepped back and looked at her. Her breasts were much fuller than before, her legs still firm and silky smooth, and although I wished with all my heart that her stomach was flat, I couldn't honestly say that this new roundness was unattractive. In fact, she was beautiful, just as she was this very moment, standing completely bare before me in the soft glow of candlelight.

"You're beautiful," I murmured.

But when she raised her eyes, they were shimmering with tears. "If you think I'm so beautiful, then why won't you touch my stomach?" 

Her question floored me. At that very moment, I truly hated myself for the selfish creature that I was. I'd been so preoccupied with my own feelings of revulsion and guilt, that I'd failed to see how much I was hurting her. "Oh god, I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered. "I didn't realize..."

I took a step toward her and offered her both my hands. She took them in hers and laid them tenderly on her skin. I felt her eyes on my face as I moved my hands slowly over her rounded stomach. Not a single inch was left untouched as my fingers explored. Her skin was smooth, but it felt firm underneath my palms. My senses were on alert for any movement, no matter how small, but I felt nothing.

"Does it ever move?" I asked curiously as my hands continued to move.

"Sometimes," she answered quietly as her eyes followed my hands. "Not so much today, though. Can you hear the heartbeat?"

"Yes." I nodded. "It's still very strong." I pulled my hands away from her stomach.

"See?" she said with a smile. "You survived. It wasn't all that bad, was it?"

I stroked her cheek with my thumb. "I never meant to make you feel like you were unattractive. You can't know how beautiful you are and how much I want you this very minute." And it was true. She was so alluring in the soft glow of the candlelight. I was surprised to realize just how intimate and arousing it had felt to run my hands over her stomach. It had almost made me forget my fear and horror at what might be growing inside of her.

"Make love to me," she whispered urgently. Her eyes smoldered with heat as she slowly unbuttoned my jeans and peeled them off. I pulled my shirt over my head as she removed my boxers. She pulled me down on the bed with her and lay back on the pillows, arching her body upward to meet mine.

I shook my head and whispered, "No, Bella. Not this way." I needed to feel her body completely against mine, and her stomach prevented that in the position we were currently in. I turned her on her side until she was facing toward the darkened windows. I stretched out behind her and pulled her body back against me. I snaked one arm underneath her shoulder until my hand came to rest on one of her breasts. The other hand glided down the length of her thigh. She laid her hand on top of mine and kept it there as I pulled her hips back toward mine. She arched her back just enough. I slid into her with a long, deep groan, and I was home.

The worst of the storm had moved on, leaving a gentle steady rain in its wake. We made love slowly, taking our time with a tender rhythm similar to the soft patter of raindrops outside our window. My free hand roamed slowly over body as we moved together and finally came to rest on her stomach. For some reason the swell of her body underneath my hand aroused me even more. A small part of my mind wondered curiously at this new development. It was completely at odds with my conflicted feelings about this intrusive life inside of her.

I made a mental note to analyze it later, and then surrendered my mind and body completely to sensation: the heat of her body tightly surrounding me; the scent of her hair enveloping me in a thick fog of lust; the sweet sounds of her whispered murmurings and low, soft moans; the silky, but still firm, feel of her skin underneath my hand as I caressed her stomach; the feel of her breast under my palm, the new and luscious fullness of it spilling out between my fingers; the sound of our bodies making contact, barely discernible at first, but then gradually becoming a soft, rhythmic slap; the pounding of her heart; the call of her blood; the familiar blinding heat of her impending release.

The room began to recede from the edges of my mind as our movements became more urgent, the sounds louder, our moans deeper, her body tighter. I buried my face in the back of her hair and cried out her name as her body stilled. She was close. A tortured groan made it through my clenched teeth as I fought for those last few seconds of control. Then blessed release came for both of us: her first, with a shockingly strong orgasm that ripped mine from me with an astonishing force. The sounds filling the room were loud and primitive and raw as our bodies shook with pleasure. They finally died away and devolved into soft whimpers from Bella, and quiet moans from me.

"My god, what was that?" Bella gasped, pushing her disheveled hair back from her face. I'd rolled over onto my back, and she'd followed me, lying on her side and slinging a leg over mine. Her stomach rested against my side and partially on top of it. I could still feel her heart racing as I nestled her beneath my arm.

"That, my love, was a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top." I grinned and sighed expansively. I was neck-deep in afterglow and loving every minute of it.

She laughed. "So what's _my_ excuse?"

"Hormones." I chuckled. "The Nectar of the Gods."

She purred seductively and relaxed into silence under my arm. We listened to the rain, watched the shadows on the ceiling from the flickering candles, and occasionally ran our hands lightly down each other's skin. I felt Bella drift away from me for awhile. She slept peacefully while I made a half-hearted attempt to analyze my feelings.

I didn't want this pregnancy to be a reality, but I had to accept the fact that there was nothing I could do about it now. It terrified me to think about what could be growing inside of her, and that insistent heartbeat was a constant reminder that whatever it was, it was strong and resilient. Why had I waited so expectantly for some small movement as I'd ran my hands over her stomach? Before tonight, I'd had no desire whatsoever to feel the monstrous thing move. Now, I wondered what it would feel like under my hands, and also what it felt like to Bella.

Then my mind moved back to the one horrible thought I couldn't get dispel: how was the thing going to get out of her? What carnage would it inflict upon Bella's body in its instinctual push to freedom and life? It was time for Carlisle and I to discuss specifics.

Suddenly Bella's entire body tensed in my arms. Her eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, gathering her legs up underneath her. Her hands cradled her stomach protectively and then she moaned.

"What is it?" I asked, alarmed at the expression on her face. She was in pain, or at least some sort of discomfort, since she wasn't crying or screaming.

"I don't know." She gasped. "Feel my stomach, Edward. It's hard!"

I laid a hand on her stomach, and it was just as she said. The firmness of before was gone. Her skin was now tight and hard as granite. She panted softly and whimpered as I felt it harden even more beneath my hand.

"What is it? A contraction?" She gasped. "Oh god, I feel so strange." She moaned and started deep breathing again.

"I don't know. Maybe I should call Carlisle," I answered uncertainly. I'd taken classes in medicine, but not obstetrics. I had no idea in hell what was going on. She nodded and focused on her body while I dialed Carlisle.

"I have cramps, too," she said while I waited for Carlisle to pick up.

"Is something wrong?" Carlisle asked, without offering the customary greetings.

"Bella's stomach has gotten really hard. She's panting and she just said she's having cramps," I explained hurriedly.

"Are the cramps sharp pains or dull?"

"Bella, Carlisle wants to know if the cramps are sharp pains or dull."

"They're dull. They feel like menstrual cramps, and they're making me nauseous." She moaned. "But my stomach isn't hard anymore. That went away."

I started to repeat everything she'd said, but Carlisle interrupted me. "I heard. Tell Bella everything is fine. The hardening of her stomach was a Braxton-Hicks contraction. They're very common at her stage of pregnancy. They're like practice contractions for the real thing. The cramping is also normal. As long as it isn't sharp pains, I think she's fine. Sharp pains indicate an early onset of labor or miscarriage. So you need to watch for that. Was she doing anything strenuous to bring on the cramps?"

I did _not_ want to have this conversation with Carlisle, not now, not while Bella was sitting beside listening to my every word. "Yes," I said without elaborating. There was silence on Carlisle's end like he was waiting for me to explain further. I let the silence drag on.

"Aah, I think I understand," he said finally. "That's perfectly fine, Edward, but perhaps we should discuss this further when you can talk freely. There are some things you should know regarding...uh...strenuous activity."

I could swear I heard barely concealed laughter in his voice. I'm glad he thought this was funny. I was uncomfortable as hell. "So, she's all right?" 

"Yes, but bring her in first thing in the morning so I can check her before I leave for the hospital. Of course, if the cramps should worsen, bring her sooner."

"Thank you," I said, disconnecting the call.

I regurgitated the entire conversation back to Bella, including the part about strenuous activity. She blushed, hid her face in her hands and moaned. When she looked back at me she said, "I'm telling Alice to forget the maternity clothes. I need a book!"

I snorted. "I think we _both_ need a book. Neither one of us knows what's going on."

She lay back on the bed to rest, her hands still protectively caressing her stomach.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes," she answered with relief. "I'm starving. Fix me anything. I don't care as long as it's edible."

I left her resting on the bed and went to the kitchen. Without electricity, the options were limited. I settled on a cold cut sandwich and milk, with an apple for dessert and put it all on a small platter. As I made my way back down the hall, I spied something curious laying in the floor: a stuffed animal. _That_ was what had fallen out of Bella's shirt! I picked it up and stuffed it under my armpit and continued on.

I sat the platter on the floor beside the bed and offered her the sandwich and milk. She sat up with her back against the headboard and nibbled cautiously as I watched. Soon the cautious nibbles turned to larger and larger bites. _Perhaps I should have prepared two sandwiches._ She drank all of the milk, and finished off with most of the apple and smiled in contentment. When she was done, I gave her the stuffed animal.

"I found this lying in the hallway."

"Oh, the lamb!" she yelped. "I thought I might have dropped it on the way home. I stuffed it underneath my shirt so the rain wouldn't ruin it."

"Where did you get it?"

Then suddenly, a perfectly enjoyable evening took an unexpectedly dark turn. Tears welled up in her eyes, and I couldn't figure out what I'd said to trigger them. _I definitely need a book._

"It was in the nursery." She sniffed, wiping away the tears that were now coursing down her cheeks.

"Why are you crying? It's just a lamb," I said, trying to comfort her.

"It's _not_ just a lamb!" she yelled in exasperation. She threw it at me. It bounced off my shoulder and landed in the floor. I left it there.

"Bella, what's wrong? Please stop crying and talk to me," I pleaded helplessly.

"The nursery, Edward! The one you couldn't take the time to go upstairs with me and see. It was beautiful and I wanted to see it with you, but you had something more important to do. Just like you always have something more important to do when Carlisle examines me. You don't care anything about me, Edward! You hate this baby and I hate you for hating it!!" she shouted.

When she was finished, an uncomfortable silence fell between us. She was trying to halt the flow of tears with a trembling hand, and I was trying to come to terms with what she'd just lain at my feet. How could she think there was anything more important to me right now than her? And I didn't care anything about her?? Where had _that_ come from? And I hate the baby?! None of this made sense to me. Besides, she'd just proven to me in the most intimate way a wife could that she loved me. She didn't hate me. She couldn't. Could she?

"Bella, love—" I started, hesitant at how to proceed. "—none of what you just said is true."

"Yes it is." She sniffed. "All of it is, every single word." She grabbed at the napkin I'd brought with her food and blew her nose. "Don't even bother to deny it. Your actions speak perfectly fine on their own."

I decided the best way to proceed was to tackle one accusation at a time, very calmly and succinctly. "All right, I'll admit I should have went upstairs with you to see the nursery, but I had something to discuss with Carlisle, something to do with this pregnancy. We've been doing research, trying to discover if anything like this has happened before, and I wanted to share my findings with him. I never meant for you to think I wasn't interested. That's just not true," I said softly. "We'll look at it together tomorrow morning, after Carlisle examines you."

"You mean after I go to my exam by myself or with Alice, and you go off somewhere alone to hibernate and brood!" she huffed angrily, still wiping at her eyes.

"Bella, there's been a misunderstanding, love," I said soothingly. "You've never asked me to go with you. I thought you were uncomfortable and preferred for me not to be there. I would have gone with you had you asked."

She looked at me, startled. Her eyes wide with confusion. "You would've?"

"Of course I would have," I scolded her gently. "I thought you didn't want me there."

"Why would you think that?" she asked, still confused.

"That's a very private thing, very personal. I thought you might be embarrassed." 

"Edward, no. I'm not uncomfortable or embarrassed at all. I want you there."

"Then I'll be there, love. From now on, I promise." I smiled and reached out to wipe away a stray tear.

"And the baby?" she asked in a small voice.

This was the truly tricky part and the hardest issue to address. My feelings were so complicated and confused even within my own mind. How could I possibly explain them clearly to her so she wouldn't misunderstand?

"This is the biggest misunderstanding of all. I do not hate this baby," I said. "What I hate is what it's doing to you, and what it's going to do you before this is all over. Do you not remember our last night on Isle Esme?" I watched as her eyes became distant and the memories of that night came back to her. "When we made love that last time, I heard your thoughts. I felt the love you have for this baby. I could never harm something you loved so much. Do you think if that were possible Jacob would still be alive? I simply couldn't bear the grief it would cause you. Not with Jacob or this child.

"And yes, I know what you're thinking just by looking at your face. I did want you to have an abortion, but only because Carlisle recommended it. I knew Carlisle was advising us based solely on what was best for you. You have no idea how hard it was for him to tell us that, Bella. I heard his thoughts. I heard the regret and the sorrow he felt at the thought of killing his own grandchild. I had that same regret and that same sorrow. Not just for me, but for you. I knew it would hurt you deeply on an emotional level, but I thought it was better than the alternative. He would have done it had you agreed, and I would have assisted and, yes, it would have left a deep wound on all of us."

Bella held a shaking hand over her mouth as the tears poured down her face again.

"I honestly didn't want this, Bella. I freely admit that. I had this idyllic vision of our life together that had me at the center of your universe and you at the center of mine. There was no room for anyone else in this perfect marriage I had envisioned. Part of me hates the thought, even now, of another person coming between us." I thought it best not to name names, but I was sure she knew I was referring to Jacob. "I wanted you all to myself, and now there's a possibility I'll have to compete with someone else for your love. Do you see now how selfish a man your husband is?"

She was shaking her head in silent disagreement as I continued.

"I lay beside you at night as you sleep, and go over and over in my mind how to fix this so that you can have what you want and I can have what I want. You want a child—my child—and I would love more than anything for you have that, but we don't know what we've created, Bella."

"It's not a monster," she sobbed pitifully.

"I know you want to believe that, but we don't know for sure," I reasoned quietly. "Newborns are vicious, bloodthirsty and violent. This child will essentially be a newborn, and the worst kind of newborn. Possibly uncontrollable and most certainly selfish to the point of doing anything to survive, even killing you. That's what I hate, Bella. I can't possibly love something that would seek to do you harm. I'd never allow another human or vampire to hurt you, you know that. Why would I sit back and allow this unknown entity do whatever it wants to you? You can't ask that of me. It's just too much to expect."

"Edward," she sobbed softly. She reached for me, but I held her back. I needed to say it all so there would be no more misunderstandings between us.

"I can't promise you I'll feel the same way about this child that you do. I'm being honest, but I respect and hold dear the love you feel for it. You should know that if things get worse, and your life becomes an issue, I will do everything in my power to make sure you survive. At that point, only your well being will matter to me. That's the way things have always been with me, and will continue to be as long as you're my wife.

"On the other hand, if there's a chance that this child will survive without hurting you, then I'll do everything in my power to make it happen. No matter what you may think, your happiness is paramount to me. To see you grieve this child is not something I want to witness, or something I want you to have to go through.

"Remember the cardinals, Bella," I finished.

"Oh, Edward." She fell into my arms and cried. If I could have summoned the tears, mine would have mingled with hers. "I'm so scared."

"So am I," I whispered into her hair. "We both are. But we have to make the best of it now, and more importantly, we have to respect each other's feelings."

"I'm so glad you told me this," she said, her voice muffled against my chest. "I had everything all wrong. Alice was right. We have to talk to each other if we want to have a strong marriage. Not talking just leads to misunderstandings."

"So, you don't hate me?" I asked.

She pulled away from me and frowned. "No, of course I don't."

"Would you care to prove that?" I asked, smiling crookedly down at her. "Just so I'll know for sure?"

She sniffed and managed a small shy smile. "What kind of proof would you require?"

I pretended to ponder her question with great care. "How about another hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and a cherry?" 

She grinned. "How about a double?"

"Hold on, now." I chuckled. "That might be a little too much...strenuous activity." 

The storm moved out and the rain completely stopped while Bella and I lovingly cleared up our final misunderstanding. Neither one of us noticed.

 


	9. The Meeting

_**Day 4 in Forks** _

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

“You’re the equivalent of six months pregnant,” Carlisle stated matter-of-factly while he continued with his examination of Bella beneath the sheet. I was standing near her shoulder, holding her hand. She appeared calm, if not a little uncomfortable. Neither one of us was surprised at Carlisle’s announcement.

“If things continue to progress at the same rate they have, you’ll most likely deliver this baby in the next two weeks,” he said as he pulled the sheet back down over Bella’s legs, his exam complete.

 _Two weeks?_ She looked up at me nervously. We were both thinking the same thing: two weeks was not nearly enough time to make all the decisions that needed to be made. How were we going to get this child into the world without killing Bella? What were we going to tell Charlie? And the wolf pack? And Jacob, specifically? Should I make preparations to change Bella despite Alice’s vision?

“The portable sonogram machine I ordered should arrive sometime today. Hopefully by tonight, or tomorrow at the latest, we’ll have a clearer idea of what we’re dealing with.” Carlisle smiled reassuringly at Bella. Her heartbeat slowed in response to his calming bedside manner. It would be helpful to finally see what was growing inside of her, for Carlisle’s diagnosis, and for my own peace of mind.

We spent the last several minutes of the exam discussing Bella’s appetite. I gathered from Carlisle’s thoughts that he was very worried about her inability to keep food down. Morning sickness was common, but he felt it was lingering much too long in her case.

“Eat five or six light meals a day instead of three heavy ones,” he suggested as he handed her a bottle of vitamins to help boost her immune system.

“As for sexual intercourse…“ He spoke straight-forward and professionally as he put away his instruments from the exam, avoiding my eyes, and instead glancing at Bella. “If you’re comfortable, it’s perfectly fine up until delivery. Just be very aware of your body. If you should have any sharp cramping or abnormal discomfort, stop immediately and call me.”

Bella was blushing despite Carlisle’s professional manner. If it were possible, I would have been blushing, as well.

“It’s important that you communicate how you’re feeling, especially to Edward.” He glanced my way.

_**I think we should have a meeting tonight. There are a lot of issues we need to address as a family. Two weeks is not a lot of time.** _

Grateful for the smooth change of subject, I nodded a silent affirmative before helping Bella from the exam table. Two weeks would be gone before we knew it. We had a great many decisions to make.

Carlisle left, leaving us alone in the makeshift hospital room. As Bella dressed, I couldn’t help but notice how much weaker she was. She’d swayed slightly when she’d gotten down from the table, and had chafed at my attempt to help her. Hopefully, the vitamins would make her stronger.

“What now?” she asked when she’d finished dressing.

I smiled and pushed an errant strand of hair back from her face. “I believe we’re going to look at a nursery.” She beamed up at me in utter happiness and led me from the room by the hand.

* * *

 

Esme had outdone herself once again. It was no wonder Bella had gotten emotional when she'd first seen the nursery. It was light and airy, and very elegantly decorated. There were lambs literally everywhere!

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb," I said softly beneath my breath. Bella heard. She smiled and squeezed my hand.

Bella told me Rosalie had come up with the idea of the tree mural in the alcove behind the bed. I couldn't believe how much of a change this baby had brought in my sister. It was like her previous disapproval of Bella had been a figment of everyone's imagination. I wasn't complaining, though. I liked this new Rosalie.

"The baby birds in the nest reminded me of our cardinals," Bella pointed out softly. Two baby birds tucked away safely in their nest while the mother or father brought them food. Bella and I would be lucky if we managed _one_ baby in the nest with a mother left alive to take care of it.

I ran my hand along the small quilt lying draped across the crib railing. It would be so soft and comforting to a child. I sighed inwardly. Was I being too pessimistic? Could it be possible for us to have a somewhat normal child together? It would never be completely normal, of course, but what if it turned out to be an intelligent creature that could be reasoned with and taught? What kind of father would I be? I knew without a doubt what kind I _wanted_ to be. I hoped I would be a strong and supportive father figure like Carlisle had been with all of us.

"Do you like it?" she asked hesitantly.

I pulled her close to my side and smiled. "Yes, Bella. It's very nice. I need to thank Esme and Rose for doing this for us."

We sat side-by-side on the cream colored sofa, piled with lamb throw pillows, for over an hour. We talked about the baby. Well,  _Bella_ talked and I mostly listened. It was easy to fall under her spell as I listened to her go on about decorating the nursery at our cottage, picking out baby clothes and taking care of our child. She almost had me believing this could really happen for us, that we could actually become parents in two weeks and have a normal life like other married couples. I had to keep reminding myself of the reality of the situation. We still didn't know exactly what was growing inside of her, or whether she'd live to bring it into the world.

A soft knock interrupted our conversation and my thoughts. "Excuse me." It was Esme. She hovered near the door as if reluctant to bother us. "Emmett and Jasper are going out. They wanted you to come, Edward."

"Hunting?" I asked, puzzled. Jasper had just gone a couple of days ago. So had Emmett.

"I don't think so," she answered. "They just wanted to get out of the house and thought you could use a break." _**You should go, Edward. It would be good for you to get away and relax. I'll stay with Bella. You won't need to worry.**_

"You should go," Bella said, practically pushing me off the sofa. "I'll be fine. Go have fun with your brothers." If I didn't know better, I'd think she was anxious to get rid of me. Was I hovering over her too much?

"Are you sure?" I asked. She seemed very tired and weak. I felt like I should stay by her side regardless of how she felt about it.

She growled softly. "Edward, I'm fine. I know you hate that word, but really...I am."

"Okay," I conceded reluctantly. "I'll go." I kissed Bella on the forehead and whispered my love to her.

As I left the room, Esme settled down on the sofa in my spot. I heard her say to Bella, “Now, about the nursery at the cottage. I was thinking lavender..." I made a quick exit before I could be drawn into their conversation.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

"I like lavender. That would be beautiful for a baby's room, Esme."

She waved her hand dismissively. "I was just making interior decorating small talk to get rid of Edward." She laughed softly. "Notice how quickly he left?"

I giggled. "He did, didn't he?" 

"You do the nursery in whatever color you prefer. I'll help with anything you need: painting, wallpapering, buying furniture, whatever," Esme offered, smiling warmly.

"Thank you. I'm so glad he came up here to see it. I think he liked it. He actually seemed a little enthused for once, like he was softening."

"Bella." Esme laid a comforting hand on my knee. "No matter what you may think of Edward and his tendency to be overprotective, he has a kind heart. I think he wants so desperately to love this child, but he's afraid."

"He's afraid it's going to be a monster," I said quietly.

"The unknown can be very frightening. I think perhaps by imagining the worst, Edward is trying to prepare himself for whatever may happen. If you think about it, if we prepare for the worst in a situation, then anything less is a blessing, isn't it?" She smiled comfortingly. "I think, subconsciously, he's trying to protect his own heart as much as yours."

"Do you think this baby is a monster?"

Her expression was stricken as she smoothed my hair with her hand. "Oh, no. Absolutely not!" she gasped. "Two kind and loving people such as you and Edward could never create a monster. The child will be different, of course, but a monster? I can't imagine it. That's just Edward's negative thinking at work. This baby will be just like any other child, Bella. All children need to be taught from birth how to behave—what is acceptable and what isn't. Of course it isn't going to emerge a perfectly civilized creature. No child does. Well, that's just from my observation of human children, you understand." She laughed softly. "I meant no offense."

I laughed with her, because I totally agreed. "None was taken, and you're right. This baby might be half human and half vampire, but that doesn't necessarily make it a monster. Why can't he see that?" 

She sighed. "Edward has blinders on. He's so overwhelmed with his concern over you that everything else is pushed to the background. None of us can reason with him. I've tried and so has Carlisle. He's a little stubborn that way." She chuckled. "But I suppose you've noticed that already."

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Yeah, I've noticed."

"We'll keep working on him, don't you worry," she said, grinning. "Now, about that nursery. We really need to get started on it. This baby will be here before you know it."

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

It turned out that Rose and Alice had gone to Port Angeles shopping for Bella's maternity clothes, leaving a bored Emmett and Jasper behind. It had supposedly been Emmett's idea to go hiking for the afternoon and invite me along. Evidently, I needed time away from the stress; I needed to relax and unwind. Wonder who had put _that_ idea into his head? Mother Hen Jasper, that was who. None of us needed to hunt, but Jasper and I ended up watching from the sidelines as Emmett took down a bear just for the hell of it.

"Have you gotten a chance to talk to Alice yet?" Jasper asked softly, as we half-heartedly watched Emmett roll around on the forest floor with the bear.

"No, not yet. I'll try to catch her alone sometime tonight. She still hasn’t confided in you at all?” 

He shook his head and answered softly, "No, and she was very subdued last night, very quiet. It’s worrying me, Edward."

The bear lost, as we all knew it would, so we moved on to the next "relaxing" activity. We hiked for awhile, all of us absorbed in our own silent thoughts—communing with nature, and all that. We ran further out into the wilderness for an hour or two of mountain climbing. I finally drew the line at skinny-dipping in the lake. I offered to watch _them_ wallow around naked in the cold water, but I wasn't about to strip off and swim, not today. It was more enjoyable for me when the sun was shining.

After an hour of watching Emmett and Jasper carry on a mock sea battle in the icy lake waters, I mentioned going back to check on Bella. They immediately stopped their play-fighting and emerged from the lake in good humor. They quickly dressed and proceeded to spend another hour just lounging around on the rocks. I was bored.

"Let me ask you guys something." Emmett was sprawled across one end of a boulder on his back, arms crossed over his chest, looking up at the trees. Jasper was sitting on the other end with his knees drawn up, his forearms resting casually across them. I was leaned against a pine tree, too restless to sit. "This morning, everything started our really good with Bella. Very nice."

Emmett abruptly lifted his head at the wistful tone of my voice. He chuckled and so did Jasper. "Yeah." Emmett sighed. "I looove those kinds of mornings." To which Jasper offered up his own snicker. This was serious, so I ignored them both and continued.

"And then, I don't know what happened. She was a little wobbly, so I offered to get her clothes for her, and when I tried to help her into the shower she practically bit my head off. So I left her alone and went into the kitchen to make her breakfast. It was just toast and some fruit and juice, but you'd think it was prepared in a five-star restaurant the way she went on about it. She was smiling, kissing me and telling me how wonderful it was, and how amazing _I_ was for being so considerate. So, I thought everything was all right. But then, as we were leaving to go see Carlisle for her exam, I noticed her tugging at her pants, so I asked her if she'd like to change clothes before we left. She burst into tears and asked me if I thought she was ugly and fat. She went, crying, down the hall to change. When she came back, she apologized and everything was all right again." I paused and then asked, "How do you guys handle it when Alice and Rose act like that?"

Emmett had sat up during my narration and was now sitting in a pose similar to Jasper's with his forearms draped across his knees. Both of them were giving me blank stares. Finally Jasper awoke out of his stupor to answer me. "Uhm, Alice doesn't act like that." He threw a cautious glance to Emmett.

"Neither does Rose," Emmett said, shrugging helplessly. They both stared back at me like I was a total idiot. "Are you sure you didn't do something else you didn't tell us about?" Emmett added as an afterthought.

"No," I shot back angrily. "It happened just exactly like I said!"

"Well, I don't know, little brother," Emmett answered hesitantly. "Maybe it's a human girl thing. We haven't got a clue." Jasper added his two cents with a negative shake of his head, and a shrug of his shoulders.

"Gee, thanks guys," I muttered. "You're a lot of help. If I remember correctly, you were loaded up with advice _before_ we got married. Remember all those handy tips you had for the honeymoon? Speaking of which, it would have been nice if you'd have mentioned the whole blood-sex thing. That was kind of a shock."

The snickering they'd both been doing suddenly stopped. "Blood?" Jasper asked, his eyes suddenly intent and focused.

"Sex?" Emmett asked, wide-eyed and frowning. "What blood-sex thing?"

I gathered from their thoughts they really had no idea what I was talking about. Damn. Me and my big mouth. I sighed. "Never mind." I started to walk off toward home. "Just forget I even mentioned it."

Emmett slid off the rock and stood. Jasper too. "Woah, woooah, little brother. You can't just drop something like that on us and then walk away with no explanation. We want details. Fess up!"

I turned and knew I was doomed. Emmett would never stop pestering me until I told him everything. I sighed in defeat. "Her blood...it..." I hesitated, searching for the right words. "It prolonged...uh...things."

Both of their mouths dropped open in shock. Jasper was the first to recover. "How much blood?" Jasper asked intently.

"Not very much," I answered, hesitantly eyeing both my brothers. Jasper had suddenly become very tense; Emmett looked ready to burst at the seams with glee.

"How did you control the frenzy and not kill her?" Jasper asked curiously.

I shrugged. "It wasn't all that hard to do since I've built up a tolerance for her scent. I had enough control not to kill my own wife on our honeymoon, Jasper!" At the time I hadn’t been so sure, but I wasn’t going to admit that.

"How long did it prolong things?" Emmett asked, smiling.

I hesitated. "A long time. Then the venom started to flow, but not right away."

"Oh my god!" He laughed uproariously and slapped me hard on the shoulder. "Edward, you are the man!" Evidently, I had just risen in stature in the murky world of male sexuality.

"Guys," I said urgently. "You have to keep this to yourselves. Bella would kill me if she knew I told anyone. I mean it. You'll pay dearly if you so much as breathe a word of this to anyone."

"Don't worry little brother. Our lips are sealed," Emmett assured me with a smirk. _Yeah, right._

"I think I'll just...uh...go back to the house now and see if Alice is back yet," Jasper said, gradually edging away from me.

"Yeah, if she's back then Rose will be back, too." Emmett grinned and wiggled his eyebrows as he followed Jasper out of the clearing. "You can find your way back by yourself, can't you, Edward?"

I stood in the clearing alone, listening to Emmett's fading laughter and wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. On my way home, I began planning my revenge on them both, since there was no way Emmett could keep his mouth shut, not in this lifetime.

* * *

 

Carlisle had returned from the hospital by the time I got back to the house. The sonogram machine hadn't arrived as expected. 'Hopefully tomorrow', he'd assured me before entering the dining room for the meeting.

Everyone was now gathered around the dining room table. Carlisle sat at the head with Esme on his right and Jasper on his left. Alice was seated beside Jasper, and Rose and Emmett were on the opposite side of the table next to Esme. Bella was seated and waiting for me at the other end of the table, opposite from Carlisle as far away from Jasper as she could get. _Old habits..._

My gaze swept over the room. The good-natured fun of before was gone from Jasper and Emmett's demeanors. In fact, everyone was tense, including Bella. I sat down beside her, grabbed her hand underneath the table, and waited for Carlisle.

"I called this meeting because we only have about two weeks before this child makes its entrance into the world," Carlisle said. A wave of surprise swept through the room, for everyone except me and Bella. "Obviously, there are some very important decisions that need to be made." He looked directly at Bella when he next spoke. "And the consequences of those decisions will affect us all."

A short silence fell over the room. Bella surprised me by breaking it first. "I want to see Jacob," she announced boldly.

My temper immediately flared. What could Jacob do for her that I wasn't already doing? Why does she need him? Aren't I enough for her? "Jacob will be livid when he finds out. You know that. His presence here will only upset you," I said, trying desperately to keep the anger out of my voice.

Bella's mouth was set in a thin, determined line I recognized as her stubborn streak making its appearance. "I can handle Jacob. He's my best friend and I want to see him."

"Bella, love..." I started to present a reasonable argument against a visit from Jacob when Jasper slammed a thought into my head from across the room with the force of a sledgehammer.

_**Pick your battles, Edward, remember?** _

Jasper's advice from our marriage conversation floated to the surface, past the anger and the juvenile jealousy. He was right, of course. This was a minor issue compared to the others we faced, plus I had to admit, Bella was correct in saying she could handle Jacob. Their relationship had always befuddled me. He could say things to her that I would have never been able to get away with, and she’d just laugh it off. I couldn’t figure out what it was she loved about him. I only wanted to strangle him when I was forced to spend any great length of time in his presence.

“Actually, I think that’s a good idea,” Carlisle interjected, glancing first at her, and then at the rest of us in turn. “I’ve given it some thought, and I think Jacob would help smooth things over with Sam and the pack. The sooner he knows of this situation, the better.” Jasper, Emmett and Alice nodded in agreement. Esme and Rosalie remained neutral, not offering any opinion.

Astonishment must have been written all over my face, because Jasper jumped in to offer an explanation. “Think about it, Edward. Jacob obviously cares deeply for Bella…” _**Sorry to have to bring that up,**_ he offered silently, then continued aloud. “…and as a result of that affection, we don’t think he’d allow the pack to hurt her. He may be angry at first, but he’ll eventually come around.”

Angry? Anger didn’t even begin to describe what Jacob was going to feel upon discovering that not only did Bella and I have sex on our honeymoon, but she had accidentally gotten pregnant.

“They’re right, Edward. Jacob would never hurt me. You know that,” Bella said adamantly.

 _ **And if Bella can’t handle him, I say just kick his ass once and for all, Edward.** _ That wonderful piece of advice came from a silent, but smirking Emmett. If my relationship with Jacob were that simple, I’d have kicked his ass a long time ago. But it wasn’t.

“I can see the logic in that,” I conceded softly. Bella squeezed my hand and smiled gratefully. “Do we have any idea how the pack is going to react?”

Carlisle sighed. “Not a clue. There’s nothing in the treaty that deals with this. Their reaction will be completely unpredictable—an even better reason for Jacob’s visit. We need time to deal with their reaction.” _**Before things progress too far with Bella. We’re not going to have time to deal with angry wolves while we’re trying to keep Bella alive and deliver this child safely, Edward,**_ Carlisle added in his thoughts.

“I have another suggestion,” Jasper said. Everyone fell silent, waiting. “I think we should invite Seth to come, too. He’s already sympathetic to us, and he _did_ help save Bella’s life, after all.”

“He’s just a child,” I said, frowning. “No matter how much he likes us, and Bella, he doesn’t have any influence with the pack.”

“I beg to differ,” Alice offered quietly. She’d remained strangely silent during all this. I was immediately curious. I heard her idea in her thoughts before she even spoke it aloud to the rest of the room. _Brilliant, Alice!_

“Think of Seth like you would a computer virus: all it takes is a small bit of code to change everything in a computer program. Seth may have no influence, but his sympathy for us, and his love for Bella, will be a constant presence in the pack’s psyche. His thoughts about all of this will be shared with the rest of the pack, whether they like it or not, and like a virus, those feelings will be very insidious.”

Everyone in the room nodded as they considered Alice’s suggestion. Carlisle immediately agreed with her, and everyone else, including Bella, soon followed. “It’s settled then,” Carlisle said finally. “Bella, call Jacob tomorrow morning and invite him and Seth over for a visit.”

“What about Charlie?” she asked. Uneasiness swept through the room. Jacob and the wolves we could handle. Charlie was a whole different ballgame.

“Bella,” Carlisle said softly, his voice tender and sympathetic. “I know you want to talk to Charlie—that’s understandable—but his situation is different. Jacob knows what we are. Charlie doesn’t. We need to think very carefully about what we’re going to tell him, and when. It would be better if we dealt with the pack issue first. I’m sorry.”

Everyone around the room murmured their agreement, even though I could tell it made them sad to have to say it. We all understood her need for the comfort of family, but the wolf problem had to come first.

“Can I just call him? To hear his voice and let him know I’m all right?” she asked in a soft, pleading voice.

“And what will you tell him if he asks how you are? Or _where_ you are? If you tell him you’re home, he’ll want to see you. What then?” Carlisle asked, his voice filled with sympathy. My heart ached for her, but his questions were legitimate. Bella must have agreed because she didn’t answer him. She looked down at her lap, her hands tenderly caressing her swollen stomach.

“Does anyone have anything else they want to add? Any concerns we didn’t address?” Carlisle asked.

“Have you had any success in contacting that vampire you told us about?” I asked. Jasper, Alice and Emmett immediately focused their attention on Carlisle.

Carlisle sighed. “No, I haven’t. Sorry, Edward.” _**As I warned you, she’s a very dedicated and wily nomad. My source inside the Volturi tells me they have temporarily lost track of her. I’ll keep trying.**_

With that, the meeting broke up. Everyone started filtering out of the room to go their separate ways. I had every intention of cornering Alice and trying to discover for Jasper what was bothering her, but circumstances intervened. As Bella was making her way to the door, she staggered and began to fall. Emmett beat me to her. He gathered her in his arms and deposited her gently on the floor. Carlisle and I were immediately at her side. Fear rose up in my throat, a heavy, suffocating fear.

A brief examination by Carlisle eased my fear somewhat, but not completely. “She fainted. She’s all right. She’s coming around.”

I spoke softly to her, stroking her hair as Carlisle held her limp wrist in his hand and took her pulse.

“Edward?” Her voice was weak and shaky as she began to regain consciousness.

“I’m here,” I murmured. “You just fainted. You’re fine.”

“I got up too fast, I think,” she said, frowning. “I got really dizzy.”

_**Take her home, Edward. Try your best to get her to eat, something sweet, preferably. Her blood sugar level most likely dropped. And make her rest.** _

“I will,” I answered softly. 

I gathered her up in my arms and swiftly carried her home. She drank some juice and picked at a bowl of fruit before she finally gave in to the fatigue and fell asleep in my arms. As I held her close in the darkness, I silently cursed the life growing inside of her, and myself for putting it there.

Bella had lulled me into a false sense of security today with her talk of baby clothes and nursery furniture, while we were surrounded with cute little lambs and fuzzy blankets. I hadn’t helped matters with my ridiculously sentimental thoughts about becoming a father. I reminded myself, in the quiet stillness of our darkened bedroom, that this unknown creature held Bella’s life in its tiny hands, and it was determined to survive, no matter what.

_And to think I came so close to accepting you into my heart today._

 

**THE CULLEN NURSERY**


	10. The Phone Call

_**Day 5 in Forks ~ Bella: 25 weeks** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

“Are you upset with me?” Bella asked.

We were upstairs in my old room. The floor-to-ceiling door was open, letting the relaxing sound of the river filter into the room. Bella was resting on my bed, propped up against the headboard on a mountain of pillows. She sighed in contentment as I gently massaged her calves and rubbed her feet.

Carlisle’s exam this morning had been rather uneventful, all things considered. She’d advanced nearly another week in the pregnancy overnight which, at this point, was no surprise to anyone. But Carlisle and I were both worried about her continuing weakness and fatigue. The morning sickness wasn’t easing, if anything, it seemed to be getting slightly worse with each progressing day.

“Why would I be upset with you?”

“Because I want to see Jacob.” 

I heard the hesitation in her voice. Even now—after everything that had happened—Jacob still managed to keep himself nestled comfortably inside her heart. He had those wolf claws of his embedded deep into our life and there was no shaking them loose. At least, not without a great deal of ripping of skin and shedding of blood which, unfortunately, was not an option.

“I was a little upset at first, but then I realized I was being immature. I _did_ get the girl, after all,” I said, smiling smugly. “Remember our fairy tale?”

She chuckled softly. “Yes."

“Vampire gets girl. Girl is happy… _again._ Vampire is extremely happy. Werewolf? Eh…not so much.” I laughed quietly when she kicked me playfully.

“Edward, that's mean,” she said with a scowl. It didn’t escape my attention she was trying as hard as she could not to laugh along with me.

“He’s going to be very angry,” I said, more serious now.

She sighed. “Livid is more like it.”

“He’s going to spontaneously combust right in front of everybody,” I said.

“No, he’s going to _implode,_ ” she countered with a deeper sigh.

“Actually, I think it will be more like a supernova. You know, an exploding outward kind of thing,” I said. I felt a smile rising to the surface. _What are we doing?_

A hint of a smile played along her lips. “Or he might go all nuclear fusion on us,” she said, the smile gaining some ground. If she was trying to “one-up” me, she’d done a pretty good job.

I chuckled. “Hey! You _did_ pay attention in class! And here I thought you only had eyes for _me_ the entire time.”

She kicked at me with her foot again and growled, “Yes, I paid attention, thank you very much!”

I laughed and corrected her. “Actually, nuclear fusion is still theoretical, and I highly doubt Jacob Black from La Push holds the secret to it.”

“Come up here.” She motioned to me. I scooted closer until I was sitting near her waist. She took my hand in hers, and focused those beautiful brown eyes intently on my face. “You two are _no_ t going to fight.” I wasn’t sure whether she meant that as a question or a statement. It sounded strangely like both.

“Maybe, maybe not,” I said, shrugging.

“Edwaaaard,” she said. “No fighting and I mean it! You are _not_ going to go all testosterone on me. Heaven knows, Jacob has enough of that all on his own, without you adding your vampire version to the mix.”

“So, if he hits me, I’m supposed to just stand there and let him? You want me to be Jacob Black’s punching bag?”

“No, of course not,” she said, scowling. “But I don’t want you two fighting over me. It’s ridiculous.”

“You misunderstand, love. We’re not going to be fighting over you. I already have you, and he’s just going to have to accept that. On the contrary. Jacob’s anger is going to be directed squarely at me. He’s not going to blame _you_ for this. He’s going to blame _me.”_

“That’s just stupid!” she fumed. “It takes two, you know. Even Jacob should know that.”

“I think it’s a guy thing,” I said, sighing. I’d learned a great deal about the irrationality of the human and vampire male since Bella had come into my life—through observation, and unfortunately, through my own immature actions. “I’m the male—the alpha male in Jacob’s eyes—and I was supposed to protect you and keep you safe. He’ll see this as gross negligence on my part, and will settle the blame for it directly onto my shoulders.”

 _Which is where it should be._ A big part of me agreed with Jacob on this point. I’d failed in my responsibility to Bella, and now her life was in danger because of it. We were going to fight; there was no doubt about that. This confrontation had been simmering for a long time. Frankly, I didn’t blame the guy one bit for the beating he was going to try to give me, but I wasn’t going to tell Bella that.

“Promise me you won’t let it get physical,” she begged.

“I can’t do that. All I can promise you is that I won’t kill him.”

“Edward!!” she shouted, alarmed even at the mention of the word kill. “No!”

“Bella, love.” I chuckled. “You’re taking this way too seriously. Here’s what I suspect is going to happen: he’s going to see your condition and immediately want to kill me. We’ll go somewhere private—the woods or the end of the driveway, it doesn’t really matter—and he’ll hit me, which will undoubtedly break some bones, so he won’t hit me again. But then again, considering who we’re talking about, he may very well hit me again and break some more in his other hand.” I smirked at the thought of how easily Jacob could be manipulated with his temper, but quickly wiped the smirk off my face when I saw Bella’s angry scowl.

“Then he’ll threaten to phase and rip me to pieces, at which time I’ll remind him I can read his thoughts and will most likely know what he’s going to do in plenty of time to evade his every move. He’s strong, but I’m fast. Besides that, he needs at least one other wolf’s help to take me down, and Seth is not going to oblige him. So, neither one of us is going to kill the other. We probably won’t even seriously hurt each other. It’ll be fine, I promise. You need to let us do this. It’s been a long time coming, and who knows? It might help finally clear the air between us.”

She’d silently listened to my scenario, her brow creased in a frown. She sighed. “I hate to admit it, but I think you’re right. You know Jake pretty well.” She chuckled. “He’s probably going to do everything you described just the way you described it. I just don’t want either one of you to get hurt. Promise me?”

I raised her warm hand to my lips, kissed it, and smiled reassuringly. “Bella, haven’t I told you many times I could never seriously hurt someone you love? Jacob’s life is as safe in my hands as yours.” _But that didn’t mean I couldn’t hurt him just a little…_

“Awwww,” she cooed sweetly, tugging me closer. I smiled and lay down alongside her. She turned and leaned down to give me a soft, lingering kiss that soon turned heated.

I snaked my hand underneath her shirt and cupped her full breast as she continued to move her lips over mine. I squeezed the silky mound, which elicited an incredibly sexy moan from her throat. I answered with my own, and squeezed a little harder. I wove my fingers through her hair, pulling her closer and increasing the pressure of my mouth against hers. I was slowly drowning, letting my body and mind float away from the room and our problems, when she suddenly flinched. It was very slight, but of course I noticed it. I immediately pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” She didn’t answer right away. I began to feel the soft stirrings of panic. “Is something hurting you? Answer me, Bella!”

“The baby kicked me,” she answered finally. “And it was a pretty good one, too!” She laughed breathlessly. My growing panic shrank and faded away. “Feel.”

She guided my hand to her stomach. We both waited for what seemed like forever for something to happen. “I think it’s like watching a pot boil.” She chuckled nervously. “Now that we’re paying attention, it’s not going to happen.”

But it did. After several minutes of nervous anticipation, I finally felt the gentle stirring of my child—just a soft poke against my hand, so slight I almost missed it. I opened my mind to it and heard the rapid thrumming of the tiny heart. It was still strong and even.

“Does it hurt?” I asked in a hushed whisper.

“No,” she answered, smiling. “It feels wonderful.”

I felt her eyes on my face while I continued to wait. Every time I felt the tiny movements underneath my hand, I became more confused. This thing was hurting Bella, making her unable to eat and weakening her with every day that went by. I was not supposed to feel anything for it—especially not the feelings I was feeling now—but I couldn’t help it. _This is my child. It’s moving!_ It was more than just a heartbeat to me now, and I was shocked to discover I was curious about it. Was it a boy or a girl? Could it hear us? Could it sense my hand through the thin layer of skin that separated us?

“Edward, are you all right?”

I’d grown so still she’d evidently become worried, but I was transfixed by what I was feeling, and overwhelmed, so completely overwhelmed with the enormity of my emotions. I pulled my hand away and stared into Bella’s eyes. She was worried and nervous, and god, she was so beautiful!

“I love you,” I answered, my voice thick with emotion.

I grasped her hair in my fist and pulled her close. She whimpered at the roughness and urgency of my kiss, and moved her body as close to mine as she could. I wanted to press my body against hers. I wanted to run my hands all over her. I wanted to make love to my wife in the worst possible way. It didn’t matter that it was broad daylight, and we were in a house full of vampires with exceptional hearing. They’d just have to cover their ears.

“Damn,” I swore softly, and pulled away.

“What?” she asked breathlessly, pulling me back.

“Alice and Rose are on their way up the stairs to see you,” I answered with a sigh.

She ran a line of kisses down the side of my neck, and said, “Tell them to come back later.”

“We’re talking about Alice, remember? Alice with shopping bags full of clothes? There’s no stopping her now,” I said, laughing softly.

Bella groaned and pulled away. We were both straightening our clothes just as the knock sounded at the door. “Tonight.” Bella whispered with a seductive smile.

I smiled back, already anticipating the night and wondering if there was anything I could do to speed up the setting of the sun. “Come in, Alice,” I said with a resigned sigh.

I retreated to a far corner of the bed and watched in amusement as Alice and Rose gushed over the maternity blouses and pants they’d bought. They held bits and pieces of clothing against Bella’s body to gauge if they would fit. Bella protested, (pretty nicely I thought), that they were only supposed to have bought a couple of outfits. Alice ignored her and moved on to the nightgowns. I decided to rescue her the moment the bras and panties came out of the bags.

“Alice, Bella needs to make that phone call to Jacob, remember?” I said. “She can try on all this stuff later.”

Bella shot me a grateful look.

“Oh all right,” Alice said with a pout. She began to fold the clothes and put them back into the bags.

Out of politeness, I asked Bella if she wanted me to stay while she called Jacob. I already knew she wouldn’t want me to, but felt it only proper to ask.

“No, it’ll be all right,” she assured me.

I asked Alice if I could talk to her in private. Bella was curious, but I shot her a look that silently said I’d fill her in later.

“I’ll finish putting away the clothes, Alice,” Bella said. “You go talk to Edward.”

Rose started to leave the room but, to my surprise, Bella stopped her. “Rose, could you stay for just a little while?” Rose seemed surprised as well, but readily agreed. This time it was me who was curious. I looked at Bella in question, and she gave me a similar look that said she’d fill me in later.

“Come on, Alice. Let’s take the shortcut.” I grinned and motioned to the open floor-to-ceiling door at the end of my room. I heard Bella shriek with laughter and shout after us we were both crazy, as Alice and I sailed out the door to the ground three stories below.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

After Edward and Alice theatrically jumped from the open doorway, Rosalie sat down beside me and waited in silence. I was surprised at the awkwardness I still felt when I was around her, even after our girl talk of before, and her comforting me in the nursery. It was her beauty and the elegant way in which she carried herself. I supposed I’d never get used to feeling inferior in her presence. So, I resigned myself to just quit worrying about it. I had what I wanted. Edward was my husband. He loved me, and I was carrying his child. What more could a woman ask for?

“I asked you to stay because I have something to show you,” I said, finally breaking the awkward silence between us.

“What?” One perfectly shaped eyebrow arched delicately in question.

I raised my shirt to expose my stomach. “The baby has been moving all morning. I thought you’d like to feel it.” I sneaked a cautious look at her from beneath my lashes to see her reaction.

She gasped, and the emotion that swept over her face was shocking. If I didn’t already know that vampires couldn’t cry, I would have thought her close to tears. “I’d like that very much." Her cold hand came to rest on my stomach. I shivered slightly and shifted it to where the baby was doing most of the moving.

A sharp intake of breath, a soft squeal and a giggle, so unlike Rose, let me know she’d felt it—she’d felt Edward’s child shifting inside of me. She raised her golden eyes to mine and smiled the most beautiful and radiant smile I’d ever seen grace anyone’s face.

“Thank you.” 

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

“Let’s take a walk in the woods,” I suggested. I wanted to take no chances that our conversation would be overheard.

Alice shrugged. “Okay.”

We walked together for awhile in companionable silence. The ground was damp and sodden beneath our feet as we moved quietly through the undergrowth. Slowly, the sound of the river flowing near the house receded until it was completely gone. I heard mild curiosity in her thoughts, but nothing more. I waited until we were far enough away and only the muted noises of nature were to be heard before I started.

“Are you all right?”

_**I’m fine.** _

Suddenly I heard the lyrics of a song start running through her thoughts, which told me she was anything _but_ fine:

_**I got my sights set on you and I’m ready to aim** _   
_**I have a heart that will never be tamed** _   
_**I knew you were somethin’ special when you spoke my name** _   
_**Now I can’t wait to see you again** _   
_**The next time we hang out I will redeem myself** _   
_**My heart it can’t rest ‘til then** _   
_**Ooh woah woah I, I can’t wait to see you again!** _

I growled in frustration as the words to that hideous song ran through her head in a continuous loop. “Aliiiice,” I protested. “Stop it! You know how much I hate Miley Cyrus!”

She giggled and switched to reciting the entire script of a _Hannah Montana_ episode—word for agonizing word—inside her mind. I sighed and decided to wait her out. When she got through with the ending credits, she stopped.

“Are you finished being juvenile?” I asked.

She shrugged, stopped walking, and just stood looking at the ground.

I stopped too, and laid a hand gently on her shoulder. “Talk to me Alice. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

She raised her head and squarely met my gaze. _**Did Jasper put you up to this?**_

“He’s worried about you and, frankly, so am I. You’re been quiet lately which, you have to admit, isn’t like you.”

 _ **I can’t see what’s going to happen with Bella. I’m scared.**_  Her entire body seemed to deflate as the thought faded from her mind.

“You can’t?” This was something new.

 _ **No, I can’t, and I should be able to! Bella’s made up her mind she’s going to keep this baby, so I should have a clear image of what’s going to happen, but I don’t. I can’t see a damned thing when I try to focus on her! Remember the old television we used to have that would get all snowy when the signal was bad? That’s how she looks to me!**   _She growled softly and turned her back to me.

I swiftly through the possible reasons why this might be happening—it had to be the hybrid element coming into play. There was no other explanation. “Perhaps it has to do with the baby being a hybrid. You can only see what you’ve been, and you’ve obviously never been a hybrid.”

_**I know. That’s the only thing I can come up with, too. The baby is part human and part vampire, and it’s like it’s blocking me from seeing Bella, like only part of the “signal” is coming through.** _

I grasped her shoulders and gently turned her to face me. “Don’t let this upset you. No one, especially not me or Bella, is upset that you can’t see. It would be nice, I’ll admit, but if you can’t, there’s no use worrying about it. We’ll just have to wait and see how things turn out, like all couples do.”

 _ **I hate not being helpful!**_ She fell against my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. I enveloped her in my arms and murmured assurances to her that it was all right. “Is that all that’s been bothering you?” I asked when she finally pulled away.

When she started silently reciting a detailed biography of Miley Cyrus from birth to the present, I stopped her with a hard grip to the shoulder. “Alice, stop this nonsense and just tell me.”

She sighed and I heard it all in a rush inside of her head. I listened curiously as she “told” me about a ghostly voice she’d been hearing for decades—a man’s voice that had haunted her thoughts and followed her relentlessly through the ages. She smiled as she told me about the faint echoes of children laughing and playing inside her head—a joyous sound that made her want to laugh when she heard it, even though she had no memory of being around children. Occasionally she heard a woman’s voice speaking very faintly in comforting tones.

“What do they say to you?” I asked.

“The man says various things, but mostly it’s ‘listen to your heart’ and ‘I will never leave you, never.” She raised her eyes to mine and they were filled with such sadness.

“Do you think they’re voices from your human past?” 

She shrugged. _**Maybe. I don’t know.**_

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they were your memories coming back?”

_**Yes, it would, but I’ve been hearing the man’s voice since long before I met Jasper. He says the same things over and over. I just started hearing the laughing children when I found out Bella was pregnant. I like hearing the children, but the man’s voice just makes me incredibly sad, and I don’t know why.** _

“You need to tell Jasper everything you just told me. He’s so worried about you. Why haven’t you shared this with him?”

_**I guess I’m afraid of what he’ll think. What if that man was someone…well…someone I was involved with?** _

“He’ll understand. What he _doesn’t_ understand is why you’re not confiding in him. Just tell him, all right?” I tugged at her chin until her eyes met mine. “Tell him, Alice.”

_**I will. Thank you for listening. It helped.** _

“I’m glad.” We hugged again, before turning back to the house. I listened to her thoughts as we walked. She knew I was listening and didn’t try to hide them from me. She was mulling over how to tell Jasper, thinking about the man’s voice, wondering who he might be, and worrying over Bella in between all of that.

“Things are going to turn out fine for you. I have a good feeling about it,” I said, smiling down at her as we walked.

I just wish I had a similar good feeling about Bella and this baby.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

After Rose left, I sat on the bed and stared at the cell phone in my hand. It was time to make the call to Jacob. I realized that, subconsciously, I’d been putting it off all morning, which didn’t make any sense, because I was the one who’d stubbornly insisted on seeing him.

 _Come on, Bella. Just call and invite him over. Keep things light. Piece of cake._ _Yeah, right._

I sighed and punched Jake’s number on my speed dial. Too late, I wondered what I was going to do if Billy answered. He’d run and tell Charlie as soon as he got the chance, then we’d really be in a mess. But, I’d worried for nothing. It was Jake’s voice I heard on the other end. _Sort of…_

“Bella?”

He sounded strange. Worried and hesitant.

“Yep, it’s me,” I answered with a laugh, and a nod he couldn’t see.

“Are you…uhm…?" There was nothing but dead silence on his end.

 _Oh, I get it now_. He was thinking Edward had changed me on our honeymoon. “Nope. I’m still clumsy Bella.” I chuckled nervously. I heard him let out a relieved whoosh of breath on the other end.

“When did you get back in town?”

“I’ve been home a few days,” I answered.

“Does Charlie know?”

“I haven’t called him yet, and please don’t mention it to Billy. I want to surprise Charlie myself, and you know your dad will blab it as soon as he hears.”

I heard Jacob’s characteristic chuckle on the other end and a rush of happiness washed over me. We’d parted ways at the wedding with bad feelings hanging between us, but it sounded like he’d let go of some of his anger. At least I hoped so.

“So…how was…well…wherever you went?” he asked.

“Sunny and hot. As different from Forks as you can get.” 

“You had a good time?”

My temper flared just a little at the implication behind his words, and the tone in which he’d said them—like I couldn’t have a good time on a beautiful tropical island with the most handsome and romantic vampire in the universe! Even if we _had_ wasted half of it arguing about sex.

“I had a wonderful time, but I’m glad to be home.”

Tthere was this long, drawn out, uncomfortable silence. It was strange, really, because Jacob and I had always talked so easily together. Now, suddenly, it was as if neither one of us knew what to say to each other.

“So, how is everyone? Sam and Emily?” As an afterthought, I added, “And Seth?”

“We’re all good, Bella. Nothing much changes on the rez.” He laughed again and I could just picture his face in my mind as I heard it: all white teeth and dark flashing eyes looking down at me in amusement. It was a good memory. That was what made me just blurt it out….

“Can you come for a visit?”

There was a long silence on the line again. “Does the leech—uh…sorry. Does… _Edward_ …know you’re inviting me?”

“Yes, he knows. It’s not like I’m sneaking, or anything,” I said, not even trying to hide my annoyance.

He chuckled again. “Okay. Sure. I’ll come for a visit. Just tell me when and where.”

“How about right now, at the Cullen’s?” I suggested, trying to sound nonchalant, like it didn’t really matter if it was now or tonight or another night entirely.

“Gosh Bells, I can’t right now. I’m just taking a break from doing some stuff around here for Dad. You’re just lucky you caught me. Maybe I could come later on this evening? About 6?”

I sighed inwardly in relief. “Six would be great.” Carlisle would be home by then, as would everyone else. Surely Jacob wouldn’t try to kill Edward with a houseful of vampires waiting in the wings, would he? Then I remembered Seth. “Can you bring Seth, too?”

“Seth? Why?”

“Edward wants to see him. And I do, too,” I added hastily. “He _did_ help save my life, you know. I wanted to thank him again.”

“You’ve thanked him a million times already. He’s cool with it. He was just glad to help.”

“I know, but he’s sweet,” I said, smiling even though Jake couldn’t see it. “I like having him around.”

“What? I’m not sweet enough for you?” He laughed long and loud at his own joke. He knew damned well that most of the time when he was around me and Edward he was a dynamite fuse just waiting for a match. _Very funny, Jake._

“Ha ha, Jake. Just bring him, all right?” I wished he could see my glare over the phone.

“Sure, sure. I’ll bring him. Just for the leech. Oops, sorry!” I heard even more laughter on his end. _Boy, aren’t you just full of yourself, Jacob Black._

“Jacooooob,” I growled through the phone. Just then, Edward walked into the room and sat down beside me. Instead of being upset, he looked mildly amused.

“I have to go, Jake. So, I’ll see you at 6. Bye.” I disconnected before he could say ‘bye’ back.

“I assume Jacob is being his normal amusing and likeable self?” Edward asked with a smirk.

“He called you a leech twice,” I said grumpily. “He really needs to stop that. It makes me so mad.”

“Bella, love, if Jacob called me by my real name I think I’d be hurt. I’ve grown quite fond of his pet names for me: leech, bloodsucker…”

I felt a small grin tugging at the corners of my mouth. _This isn’t funny, Bella. This is serious. Don’t you dare laugh!_

“They’re rather endearing, don’t you think? Much better than, say, asshole or bastard,” he continued with not even the hint of a smile on his face. 

That made it even funnier. Finally, I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud—a huge belly laugh. Edward laughed with me. That refined, but dry sense of humor of his always sent me over the edge.

When we both stopped laughing, he pulled me into his arms. “Just don’t let him upset you, and don’t worry about this evening. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

“But I _am_ worried,” I said. “We have plans tonight, remember?” I pulled back and grinned crookedly. “I need you healthy and all in one piece.”

He snorted in amusement. “Jacob Black is not going to keep me from making love to my wife tonight. You can count on that.”

 


	11. Jacob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I’ve said many times before, I am writing my version of BD with a totally different feel to it. Therefore, Jacob’s entry into my story is coming much sooner than in SM’s version. Bella’s health is still fairly good, although she is weakening day by day. Therefore, Edward is not the “burning man” Jacob sees when he arrives. (MY Edward is a participant in my story, not a useless lump sitting in the floor!) Therefore, this confrontation between Edward and Jacob is going to be VERY different from SM’s. In addition, I am not limited to writing a G-rated version, so Jacob’s vocabulary may be more colorful as well.
> 
> Also, I accept full responsibility for any errors you may find in my descriptions of any medical procedures from this point forward. I’m not a nurse OR a doctor. 
> 
> And finally, a small bit of SM’s original dialogue from BD was used in this chapter.

_**(Day 5 in Forks – Bella: 25 weeks)** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

I heard Carlisle greeting Esme downstairs. He was home early from the hospital. Perhaps the ultrasound machine had finally arrived. No sooner had the thought ran through my mind than I heard him ask for me.

_**Edward, can you come downstairs to my study?** _

I eased off the side of the bed where Bella lay stretched out sleeping. After the phone call to Jacob, she’d complained of being tired. I’d encouraged her to take a nap while I’d added another entry to my journal. She was going to need all of her energy this evening for when Jacob and Seth arrived.

I found a sheet of stationery and wrote her a note in case she woke up while I was gone:

  
_My love,_

_I’m with Carlisle downstairs._   
_When you awaken, just whisper my name and I’ll be by your side in an instant._

_E_

  
I slid it between the fingers of her right hand, and tenderly kissed her forehead. She never stirred as I quietly shut the door behind me.

* * *

 

 _ **The sonogram machine is here. As soon as I get it set up we can do the ultrasound.**_ Carlisle was sitting behind his desk with opened medical books scattered all around him.

“Oh, good,” I said. “Bella is sleeping right now, but I’ll wake her when you give me the word. Maybe we can get this done before Jacob and Seth get here.”

_**Speaking of which, how do you want to handle that? Do you want all of us there initially or would you rather it be just you and Bella?** _

“I don’t think we need everyone there,” I answered. “That seems like overkill. I really don’t foresee this spilling over into a family fight. This is going to be just between me and Jacob. Perhaps if you and Esme met them at the door that would start us off on the right foot.”

_**We’d be glad to do that. And Edward…I hope you don’t let it get out of hand. I know things are tense between you and Jacob, but Bella doesn’t need any added stress. Plus, we can’t afford to alienate him at this point.** _

“I understand what’s at stake.” I sighed. “I’ll try my utmost to keep it civil, but I can’t guarantee Jacob will. He’s not going to take this well.” His only response was to sigh along with me. “What’s with the medical books?”

_**I’m studying all the medical angles of this situation. Of course, after we get the results of the ultrasound, our decisions should become easier. We’ll have a better idea of what we’re dealing with.** _

“I’ll let you—“ I stopped mid-sentence when I heard Bella whisper my name. “Bella’s awake. Let me know when you’re ready for us.”

_**Give me about thirty minutes to set it up and test it.** _

We left his study together, with him heading off down the hall to the makeshift hospital room, and me racing upstairs to my beautiful wife’s side.

 

* * *

 

“All you need to do is just lay back and relax,” Carlisle said as he made preparations to do the ultrasound. “It’s a very simple and painless procedure that uses sound waves to look inside your uterus so we can see what’s going on in there.” He smiled down at Bella, which I could tell immediately set her mind at ease.

“What will you be able to see?” she asked.

“There are lots of things this test can reveal. First and foremost, we should be able to see the baby and detect any abnormalities that may be present. We can also tell if you’re carrying multiple fetuses.”

 _Multiple fetuses?!_ I saw the same look of surprise in Bella’s eyes. The thought of more than one baby had never occurred to either one of us.

“It will also help me determine how far the pregnancy has progressed so we can come up with a fairly accurate due date. Plus, if we’re lucky, we may find out whether it’s a boy or girl,” he finished. Bella smiled up at me at that announcement. I returned her smile and only hoped this test would do everything that Carlisle said. All of us could use a bit of peace of mind for a change.

He squeezed a small amount of clear gel onto her stomach. She yelped in surprise and giggled. “It’s cold!” Carlisle laughed along with her and used the tip of the ultrasound wand to spread the gel across the expanse of her stomach. I gripped her hand; she squeezed mine in response. She looked up at me, her brown eyes bright with anticipation. It was hard, even for me, not to share in her excitement.

All three of us had our eyes glued to that small monitor as Carlisle moved the wand slowly over her stomach. Bella probably didn’t know what to expect, but I did, and Carlisle most assuredly did. Neither one of us were seeing the black and white images we should have been seeing. I heard questions racing through Carlisle’s mind: perhaps it wasn’t working properly or the settings were wrong. I watched in consternation as he rechecked the connections and settings on the machine. Everything was working as it should have been except for the fact that the sound waves weren’t making their way into her uterus.

 _ **Something’s wrong, as I’m sure you’ve already figured out. The ultrasound isn’t seeing into her uterus, and everything is working properly.**_ He raised his eyes to mine, and they were filled with shock, as well as grave concern. **_The membrane around this child is evidently too thick. The sound waves can’t get through it. It must have properties similar to vampire skin._**

My heart sank at the knowledge that we were going to have to navigate the remainder of this pregnancy essentially blind. I could hear the same disappointment in Carlisle’s thoughts.

“What’s wrong?” Bella had picked up on our uncomfortable silence. “Is something wrong with the baby?” Her voice was quickly becoming panicky.

“We can’t see the baby,” Carlisle answered softly. “The sound waves aren’t penetrating the membrane surrounding it. Apparently, it’s too thick.”

She looked back and forth between us in confusion. “The baby is part vampire,” I explained quietly. “Evidently, the membrane is thick and possibly as hard as my skin.”

She deflated, like a balloon when the air suddenly gushes out. The disappointment in her eyes was hard for me to bear, as well as the tears that were slowly making their way down her cheeks. I gathered her into my arms and let her cry herself out. I heard Carlisle unobtrusively leave the room while she did.

“I’m sorry, love,” I whispered into her hair. “I know you’re disappointed.” I continued to hold her and murmur assurances into her ear even though I didn’t believe my own words.

“I just wanted to see it,” she sobbed softly, her words muffled against my chest.

“I know, Bella, I know,” I crooned. “So did I.”

She finally pulled away and began swiping the tears from her face with both hands. “What time is it?” she asked, her voice thick from crying.

“It’s almost 5:00,” I answered.

“Oh,” she exclaimed softly. “I only have an hour to pull myself together.” She sniffed and gestured for me to do something about the gel on her stomach. I located a towel and helped her clean up, then steadied her as she eased herself off of the examination table.

“Jacob can’t see me like this or it’ll make things worse.” I agreed with her. It was going to be bad enough without her having a tear-streaked face and bloodshot eyes.

“Why don’t we see if Alice or Rose will let you use one of their rooms to clean up,” I suggested.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

“Rose, can Bella use your rooms to freshen up?” Edward asked. “Alice and Jasper are busy at the moment.” I hovered nervously by his side and tried to peer into her suite through the partially opened door.

“Of course. Come on in,” Rose said, opening the door wider. She gave me a quick once-over and smiled. “I’ll get rid of Emmett and we’ll fix you right up as good as new.” Good Lord, she was starting to sound too much like Alice.

“I’ll come back for you a few minutes before 6:00,” Edward said, as he kissed my cheek and left.

I sat on an elegant beige chaise and waited while Rose scooted Emmett out of the room and into the hallway, closing the door on him in mid-sentence. She turned to me excitedly and motioned for me to follow her. We ended up in her powder room, which looked like something out of a Hollywood movie: plush carpeting, brocade drapes and gold embellishments everywhere.

“You sit over there—“ She pointed to a delicate ornamental chair sitting in front of a huge mirror with lights up and down both sides. “—and I’ll brush out your hair. Then we’ll do something about those splotches and dark circles under your eyes.” Gee, now I felt both uncomfortable _and_ unattractive, after promising myself earlier I wouldn’t be.

I sighed and got settled on the chair. She began brushing my hair with surprisingly gentle strokes. “So what’s happened to cause so many tears? Nothing to do with the baby, I hope?”

As she brushed, I told her about the sonogram. I could tell she was as disappointed as we all were that we couldn’t see the baby. As she applied some sort of foundation to cover my splotches, I told her about my worries over Edward and Jacob fighting each other this evening. She didn’t seem as concerned as I was.

“It’ll be fine.” She chuckled. “Edward can handle a dog with one hand tied behind his back.”

I frowned at her dog reference and felt compelled to defend Jacob. “Jacob isn’t a dog, Rose. He’s a wolf with a very rich heritage and tribal traditions. You make him sound like a Doberman or something.”

She grinned. “I was thinking more along the lines of a Chihuahua, actually.”

I glared at her, temporarily forgetting just whose bedroom I was in at the moment: a very glamorous and beautiful vampire who could also toss boulders around like they were pebbles.

She laughed. “I’m just kidding! But all jokes aside…” Her voice became very serious. “If you ever need me for anything, just speak my name and I’ll be there for you.”

I believed her. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” When she reached for the mascara, I stopped her. “That’s not necessary. I’m not going out on a date or anything. It’s just Jake and Seth.”

“A little volume wouldn’t hurt.” She pouted, but I shook my head and got up from the chair—a little too fast, apparently. I suddenly felt dizzy and must have wobbled a bit, because she snaked an arm around my waist and led me over to the bed. She piled up pillows behind my back and stretched out my legs. That was where Edward found me when he returned. At his questioning look, Rose spoke up before I could even open my mouth.

“Girl talk,” she said with a smile.

I was sure Edward didn’t believe her, but he let it pass. We both knew I was getting weaker by the day though we rarely spoke of it. Neither one of us knew what to do about it anyway.

“You look lovely,” he said softly. “Thank you, Rose.” He extended his hand and helped me off the bed.

As we made our way to the door, I muttered under my breath, “Showtime.”

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. “It’ll be fine, love. I promise.”

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

The distant roar of a motorcycle alerted us to Jake and Seth’s arrival. I wondered why they hadn’t just phased and ran here, but then decided that trying to figure out Jacob’s motivations about anything was an exercise in futility on my part.

There were only four of us waiting in the living room: me, Bella, Esme and Carlisle. The rest of my family were scattered throughout the house on alert. I’d told them it was unnecessary, but they’d been insistent, especially Rosalie. She seemed to have appointed herself Bella’s personal bodyguard all of a sudden.

I listened as Jacob cut the engine and bounded up the front steps, skipping a few in between. Seth’s lighter steps followed close behind. I suddenly felt the need for a Glade air freshener as the faint smell of wolf stench filtered through the door.

Bella was ensconced on the sofa with a pillow covering her stomach. We’d thought it advisable to break the news gradually, instead of hit him with it straight out of the gate. I was standing beside her, on her right and facing the door. Esme and Carlisle were waiting by the entryway. Their plan was to greet them, make them feel welcome and comfortable, and then make a graceful exit, leaving the four of us alone—that is, if you could call a houseful of six eavesdropping vampires alone. When the knock sounded, Bella glanced up at me nervously.

I smiled and winked. “Don’t worry, love.”

She scowled at my obvious lack of concern.

“Jacob. Seth. Welcome,” Carlisle said in a soft, soothing voice.

“It’s very good to see you both,” Esme added, smiling warmly. “Won’t you come in?”

They stepped aside to let Jacob and Seth enter.

“Would you like any refreshments?” Esme offered, ever the gracious hostess.

“Gee thanks, Mrs. Cullen! Do you have any—“ Seth started, but a sharp jab to the ribs by Jacob shut him up.

“We’re fine,” Jacob said.

Esme and Carlisle politely excused themselves and left the room.

Jacob turned and swept his dark eyes over me. “Edward.” He nodded his head, very swiftly, but silently, critiquing everything from my choice of clothes and the style of my hair to my lack of a suntan and my reeking stench. Then just as quickly he dismissed me. I chose to ignore most of what was filtering through his thoughts. My short visits into Jacob’s head were always unpleasant and a thing to be avoided whenever possible.

“Hey, Edward!” Seth scooted around Jacob and presented me with a high five. I couldn’t help but laugh as I slapped his palm. Seth was a simple soul and a lover of life. His mind was always a comforting place to visit.

“Bella, give me five!” Seth presented the same high five down toward Bella. Her laughter warmed my heart as she good-naturedly slapped at his hand. Why couldn’t Jacob be this easy to deal with?

“Bella. You look good,” Jacob commented. The dark glare he’d shot me was gone, along with the tightly controlled voice. “A little pale though. I thought you said you went somewhere sunny and hot?” He grinned and plopped down on the sofa beside her. She turned away from me slightly until she was partially facing him. Seth collapsed onto the floor and proceeded to sprawl his long gangly legs out all over the rug.

She laughed nervously. “You know me, Jake. I tan like a lobster.” 

Jacob glanced up at me and frowned. _**So how about some privacy here.**_

I didn’t bother to answer; I  shook my head and ignored the long, silent string of colorful protests that followed.

“Seth, I wanted to thank you again for what you did,” Bella said.

Seth grinned and swelled up with pride. “It was nothing,” he snorted. “I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Just say the word.”

“How many times do we have to tell you Bells, we love killing vampires. It’s what we do.” Jacob snickered. He ignored Bella’s scowl and threw a smirk up at me.

“Only the _bad_ ones, Jake,” Seth admonished him. He grinned up at me. “He didn’t mean the Cullens, Edward.”

 _Sure he didn’t. He only meant one Cullen._ An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. For several moments, nobody knew quite what to say.

“Hey guess what, Bella?” Seth stepped in to fill the void. “I’m getting my own motorcycle!”

“Ooh, be careful,” Bella warned him. “Those things are dangerous.”

“Yeah, she should know.” Jacob snickered. “A rock came out of nowhere and hit her in the head the first time she rode one.”

I growled softly underneath my breath while Bella punched him playfully in the shoulder. Another uncomfortable silence that seemed to drag on forever.

“Okay, enough of this. Why do I feel like I was invited here for a reason you forgot to tell me about?” Jacob asked, looking pointedly at Bella. “What’s going on, Bells?”

“Well…Edward and I sort of…have some news…” she said hesitantly. I heard the speculation in Jacob’s head, everything from we were getting a divorce to me contracting some rare and fatal vampire disease. Bella took a deep breath and slid the pillow away from her stomach.

Jacob’s mouth dropped open and a look of utter revulsion swept over his face. “Oh my god, Bella.” He shot up off of the sofa, his eyes dark with rage.

“Wow,” Seth breathed in awe. “Cool! When is it due?”

“Shut up, Seth!” he snarled, and then turned back to Bella. “How in the hell could you let him do this to you? How could you?!” His voice was steadily rising, and I could sense Bella becoming upset.

“Jacob,” I said, keeping my voice calm to try and offset his growing fury.

He jabbed a finger in my direction. “You. Shut the fuck up!” 

Two things happened at once: Bella screamed at Jacob, telling him to stop talking to me like that, and Rose was suddenly crouched behind the sofa hissing at him.

Thankfully, Carlisle appeared and placed himself between Jacob and the rest of us. “Jacob, please,” he implored softly. “Control your temper. You’re upsetting Bella and she really doesn’t need that right now.”

He glared at me over Carlisle’s shoulder. _**I hope getting your rocks off was worth it!**_

My lips curled over my teeth. “Outside, Jacob,” I snarled. _“Now.”_

“Edward!” Bella said anxiously. “Remember your promise.”

I nodded to let her know I remembered and then turned and stalked toward the door. I heard Seth trying to talk some sense into Jacob, and Jacob in turn telling him to mind his own business and stay out of it. I walked out the door and started down the driveway, not even bothering to see if he was following me. I didn't have to. I was now being subjected to a silent, but constant, stream of profanity, in most of which my name figured prominently. I used that brief time to calm my temper and remind myself of why we’d invited him here. By the time we'd walked far enough to be away from listening ears, I already knew what to expect. I stopped and faced him, relaxing my body in preparation for what was coming.

"You blood-sucking son-of-a-bitch!" he snarled as he swung his fist at me. I staggered under the blow, but kept myself upright. I had to admit, the boy could pack a powerful punch for a dog. “Fuck!”

I smiled inwardly at the thought of him in pain. “Break something?” I asked as I righted myself and stared placidly back at him.

He cradled his hand for a moment and shook it out. I knew what he was going to do even before he started to pull his arm back. _So predictable._  I didn’t even need to read his thoughts.

"That was your free one. Hit me again, and you’ll be the only three-legged dog in the pack." He surprised me by actually stopping to think. We glared at each other for several silent moments. "There's something we need to get straight right now, before we go any further." Without waiting for him to open his mouth and start ranting, I continued. "Bella and I are husband and wife, in every sense of the word. You need to just accept that and move on." That was when everything went to hell, as I knew it would.

"You arrogant bastard! I ought to kick your ass! Right here, right now! I ought to just phase and rip out your damned throat!" he yelled as he jabbed his finger hard into my chest.

"Jacob," I said with a pained smile, gently pushing his hand aside. "There's nothing I'd enjoy more than to see you try, but what would it accomplish? It wouldn’t change anything, unfortunately.”

He was silently fuming, his eyes black and angry. "Why in the hell didn't you kill the damned thing as soon as you found out about it?!"

"I wanted to, but Bella wouldn't agree to it."

"Bella wouldn't.....?" He laughed ironically. "I guess you never thought of just forcing her? I mean, there are seven of you, and only one of her, for god's sakes!"

"I stupidly suggested that. She made it clear that if I forced the issue, our marriage was over, and if I were you, I wouldn’t even bring it up with her."

He growled. “Don’t tell me how to handle Bells. I know her just as well as you do, maybe even better.” He balled his fists up into tight angry balls. “So, what are you going to do? Just let her lay there and die trying to give birth to your fucking monster?"

“Quit being an ass! Of course I’m not going to let her lay there and die! Carlisle is considering all of the options, and you know him Jacob! You know he’d do everything in his power to bring her through this safely!” I paused to let him digest that information and to let my temper cool.

"And if she doesn’t get through it safely? Then I guess you'll be there waiting by her side with your filthy venom to change her!" 

"That's a possible option, but I can't discount one of Alice's visions." I stared at the ground now, unable to meet his eyes. "Something didn't work. Bella died, forever," I said softly. "I'm very hesitant to take that route. At this point, there’s not much we can do except try and deliver this baby and keep Bella alive in the process.”

“Of course there’s something you can do,” he snarled, his teeth clenched in anger. “Give her something to make her lose it, and then step aside. I can give her all the children she wants.”

His mind suddenly filled with images of Bella, offensive images meant to bait me. Images of her in his arms, kissing, touching, and more. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to think such vile thoughts about my wife, and also about a girl he claimed to love. I growled with barely-contained rage and back-handed him (pretty gently, all things considered) which knocked him out cold. He collapsed to the ground in a heap. I checked to make sure he was breathing and nothing important was broken, then I stood back and waited patiently for him to regain consciousness. After a short while, his dazed eyes blinked open. He slowly rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself upright. He shook his head to clear it, and finally met my gaze.

“I guess I deserved that,” he muttered.

“Yes, you did,” I said quietly. “Bella deserves better from you.”

“I know. I didn’t mean any of that,” he said softly.

I let that pass and continued, “Bella is in a very precarious position right now, and whether you approve or disapprove, whether you despise me or not, doesn’t change that fact. Bella asked to see you and I agreed because I know how much you mean to her. But if you do anything, anything at all, to make her condition worse, I won’t allow you anywhere near her. Do we understand each other?”

He nodded but did say anything in response. He stared off into the distance, his whole demeanor one of resigned acceptance. I’d already been where Jacob was just now arriving. I’d felt the helplessness he was currently struggling with, lived it every minute of every single day since we’d gotten home. I felt nothing but sympathy for him at that moment.

“How could you have let this happen?” he asked softly, still staring off into the distance.

“We didn’t know,” I answered, my voice just as soft as his. “I never dreamed. There’s never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know a human would be able to conceive a child with one of us?  I know what you think of me. I can hear it with every thought that runs through your head. But even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me right now as much as I hate myself. I agree with your assessment that I’m to blame. I accept that blame, and wish with my whole being I could turn back the clock and do things differently, but I can’t. Your anger with me can’t accomplish that either. Bella needs both of us right now, Jacob. I’m willing to try and keep our association civil if you will, for Bella’s sake.”

“Is this thing going to kill her?” he turned and asked.

“God, I hope not,” I answered softly. “Carlisle and I are doing everything possible to keep that from happening. You have to know that.”

He nodded, stared at the ground and then took a deep breath before raising his eyes to mine. I felt a deep sense of relief at what I heard in his mind. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to help Bella. I’ll even make an effort to be civil. But, there _is_ one other thing,” he added, his voice suddenly low and menacing. "If she dies, I'm going to kill you."

I smiled. He seemed confused by that. "Predictability is the one endearing quality that you possess. Jacob, if Bella dies, I'm _counting_ on you killing me. I'll welcome it, as a matter of fact." I offered him my hand. "Let's shake on it, a verbal agreement between two men who keep their word."

He stared at my hand hovering in mid air between us, his brows pulled together in a deep, suspicious frown.

"If she dies, I'll willingly let you kill me. I'll even fight back a little to add to your sport, and it will save me the cost of a plane ticket to Italy. Deal?"

When he extended his hand toward mine, I was surprised at his thoughts. Gone was the blind anger of before, replaced now by a grudging respect. "Deal," he said quietly as he took my hand in his. And squeezed. Hard. Bone-crushing hard. The dog had a grip that matched his punch.

I clenched my jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. "This is supposed to be a simple handshake, not an opportunity to try and crush my hand!"

He laughed softly as he let go. "Just practicing." He turned and started loping back up the driveway toward the house.

I followed behind him, listening to him silently tell me, in minute detail, what he was going to do to me when he killed me and how much he was going to enjoy it. Then his thoughts suddenly stopped. I guess he’d finally realized the import of what he was thinking: Bella had to die for him to experience all those pleasures he’d been imagining.

_**I didn't mean any of that, Edward. I don't want her to die, you know that. I got carried away in the moment, that's all. I love her.** _

I already knew he loved her, so my getting angry at his words would serve no purpose. I followed him up the steps of the porch and trailed behind him as he stepped back into the living room. Everyone was downstairs now and gathered around the sofa. Seth had his hand on Bella’s stomach and a wide grin on his face.

“Jacob, you gotta feel this,” he said, his eyes alight with excitement.

Bella murmured softly to Seth and pulled her shirt back down. Eight pairs of eyes were now fixed on me and Jacob. Bella inspected us both before asking, “Is everything all right?”

“Bella, love,” I chided. “I promised you I wouldn’t kill him, remember? I kept my promise.”

I wanted to laugh out loud at the sense of outrage I heard in Jacob’s thoughts. _**Yeah, right. Like you could have killed me. You and whose army?**_

Bella’s eyes bounced between us and narrowed suspiciously.

“It’s cool.” Jacob chuckled and shrugged. “I didn’t feel like killing him either. I’ll probably do it tomorrow.”

When Bella didn’t laugh as he’d expected, Jacob snorted. “Gosh Bells, lighten up. That was a joke.”

Bella finally smiled and the tension in the room immediately evaporated.

 _ **So, how was that? Pretty convincing, huh?**_ Jacob thought.

I glanced sideways at him. He was smiling, but the smile, I noticed, didn’t reach his eyes. I whispered under my breath, “Yes, it was. Thank you, Jacob.”

 


	12. Private Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Alice's side story appears in this chapter. There are references to one of my original characters, Daniel Hart, from my story, "In Search of Forever". 
> 
> Also, as you will discover after reading this chapter, I am taking a different approach with Jake and Edward's relationship. I thought Jacob's continued bitterness in BD was a bit tiresome, so I'm writing him completely different in this story.

_**(Day 5 in Forks – Bella: 25 weeks)** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

_**Can we have some privacy NOW?**_   Jacob pounded his request into my head like he was trying to hammer a nail through my skull.

My first thought was that he was really pushing it, but in an effort to be civil like I’d promised, I clamped down on the automatic ‘no’ that almost came out of my mouth. “Bella, I’m sure you and Jacob would like to talk alone. Why don’t you go back to our cottage so you two can have some privacy,” I suggested. I laughed inwardly at Jacob’s suddenly empty mind. It seemed I had accomplished the impossible: I’d stunned him thoughtless.

Bella’s mouth also dropped open at my suggestion. “Are you sure?” 

“Of course,” I answered. “Just… _please_ …burn some of those scented candles, if you don’t mind.”

“Hey, that’s nice of you to think of me, Edward.” Jacob chuckled and smirked. “The stench is bound to be thick as peanut butter in there.”

Bella glared at Jacob, saving me from having to do it. During our exchange, Carlisle, Esme and Alice had slipped silently from the room and retreated upstairs. Rose had stayed, her fierce stare focused intently on Jacob. Emmett stayed as well, obviously to keep an eye on his wife. Jasper stayed to keep an eye on _everyone_. They were all, no doubt, waiting to make sure our truce was going to hold. Another awkward silence descended over the room.

Emmett came to the rescue yet again. “Hey, Seth. Jasper has something in the garage that might interest you.”

Jasper caught on quick. “Yeah, it’s pretty amazing,” he agreed, grinning. “You’re going to want to see it.”

“Cool! What is it? Give me a hint!” Seth sprung up off the sofa with the innocent excitement of a teenager who had not a care in the world. I envied him.

“You’ll see.” Emmett winked and shot me a glance before leaving the room. _**You need to come with us too, Edward.**_

I nodded. I’d join them as soon as I’d seen Bella safely to the cottage.

Rose finally tore her gaze from Jacob’s jugular and caught my eyes from across the room. _**Are you sure about this? Because if he upsets her, I’m going to tear him to shreds. You know that, right?**_

It was good to have an ally where Jacob was concerned, but tearing him to shreds was going a little overboard, even for me. But when Rose sunk her claws into an idea, there was no shaking her loose. Somehow, she’d decided she was Bella’s personal bodyguard now, which was a good thing, in my estimation. Poor Jacob. I’d rather have Rose _on_ my side, than against me.

“There’s no way I can walk to the cottage,” Bella said tiredly.

Jacob immediately provided a solution, as I’d known he would. “I’ll carry you. No problem, Bells.”

I pushed my way in front of him. _“I’ll_ carry her. You don’t even know the way.”

Bella made a disgruntled sound as she awkwardly pushed herself up from the sofa to stand. “Oh good grief. Stop this right now, both of you, or I’ll just get Emmett to carry me. It’s bad enough that I’m treated like an invalid. Now I have to watch people fight over who’s going to carry pitiful little Bella to her house.” 

 _ **Now who’s the one being an ass?**_ Jacob’s dark eyes slid my way in amusement. _**Jealous much?**_

I had to choke back the snarl that nearly escaped my throat. I hated it when Jacob was right. I was being petty when I thought I was past such behavior. He knew what was at stake with her health, and of course, he’d be careful with her.

I leaned toward Bella and murmured in her ear. “I’m going to the garage. Call if you need me.”

I walked out the door before I was forced to watch Jacob scoop my wife up into his arms. But then, as I made my way through the dark to the brightly lit garage, I smiled at the knowledge that in a couple of hours Bella would be in my arms for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

“Place is a little cramped.”

Jacob had to duck to get in the front door. His enormous frame seemed to take up half of the room. I stifled a giggle. He looked like a story-book giant who’d suddenly found himself amongst ordinary-sized humans. In other words, very uncomfortable.

“It wasn’t designed for wolf-boys on steroids, you know.”

He laughed and settled himself gingerly onto the sofa like he feared it would collapse, and then unfolded his long legs in front of him. In the meantime, I got myself comfortable in a winged-back chair across from him.

“Aren’t you going to light the candles?”

“Edward was just joking.”

Jacob looked skeptical. “I really don’t think he was, and besides, this place stinks. Uhm…no offense.”

No offense? Right.  Jacob was wearing his ‘I smell something rotten’ expression while trying desperately not to laugh. I sighed and left to find a lighter. He waited silently as I drifted around the room lighting candles, then got myself settled back into my chair.

“Mmmmm, apple-cinnamon bloodsucker: my favorite scent.” He grinned mischievously.

I grabbed the small throw pillow behind my back and threw it at him. “Jacob,” I said angrily. “This name-calling is seriously getting on my nerves. Stop calling him ‘bloodsucker’ and ‘leech’!”

He easily caught the pillow before it could plow him in his grinning face. “I’ll stop calling _him_ names when he stops calling me a dog, a puppy, a child, and an ass.” At my astonished look he continued. “Yeah, he actually called me an ass. I didn’t realize Edward _knew_ any curse words.”

Jacob’s mocking tone touched a nerve. “You’d be surprised what Edward knows,” I snapped.

“Evidently not that much or he would have packed some condoms,” Jacob shot back.

“We had no idea we’d _need_ condoms,” I retorted, my temper rising.

“You shouldn’t have even let him touch you!” he snapped angrily.

Ooh, I wanted to smack that arrogant 'I know everything' look off his face so badly! We glared at each other in silence. “If this is what you want to talk about then just leave right now. Edward is my husband. We have sex whether you approve or not. And there’s nothing you can say or do to change the fact that I’m having his child.”

Instead of angering him more, my words deflated him, like I’d stuck a pin in him and let the air out. He pulled in his legs, propped his elbows onto his knees and buried his head in his hands. I’d hurt him, and I’d sworn to myself that I would never do that again.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” I offered quietly. “That was totally uncalled for.”

Finally, he raised his head, but kept his eyes glued to a spot on the floor. “No,  _I’m_ sorry, Bella. I didn’t want to talk to you just to bring all this up again. What I really wanted to do was to apologize to you in private, for my behavior at your wedding reception. I was way out of line then, and I was way out of line just now. I have no right to pass judgment on you _or_ Edward.”

He cautiously slid his gaze upward to meet mine, and I saw the truth in his beautiful brown eyes. It suddenly occurred to me that Jacob had done a lot of growing up in the last couple of weeks, and so had I. Perhaps it was time we started showing it, especially to each other.

“You’ve changed,” I said quietly. “What happened?”

“I did a lot of thinking while you were gone. I had to finally accept the fact that you chose the man who made you the happiest. Once I got past all the jealousy and anger, I realized that Edward does love you, even if he is just a bloo—“ He caught himself just in time. “I mean, even if he is a vampire. I’m still trying to come to terms with you wanting to become one of them, but I’m working on that, too.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened. Jacob was such a precious soul and I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.

“I wanted to ask you something.” He hesitated, fumbling nervously with his fingers and avoiding my eyes. Finally he found his courage and let his dark eyes settle onto mine. “I want to still be part of your life—as a friend—if you’ll let me. And if _Edward_ will let me.”

That did it. The tears I’d been holding in flooded down my cheeks. I clapped a hand over my mouth to hold in the sobs threatening to escape. Jacob slid off of the sofa and was at my knees in an instant, cradling my head on his shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said softly. He crooned to me and stroked my hair as I bawled my eyes out. Whether it was from the hormones, or Jacob’s plea for friendship, or a combination of both, I cried like a baby into his shoulder for a long time.

I finally pulled away and started to wipe at my face. Jacob whipped his shirt off in an instant and offered it to me in place of a kleenex. I dried my tears with it, and even blew my nose on it, too. I offered it back, then laughed when I realized he probably wouldn’t want my snot for a keepsake. He chuckled along with me, assuring me he didn’t need the shirt and to just return it once it was washed.

“Believe it or not, I was going to ask you the same thing. That’s why I wanted to see you. I want us to be friends, Jacob, if we can. I have no intention of shutting you out of my life.”

“How does Edward feel about that?” Jacob was skeptical and I could understand why he would be.

“He wants me to be happy, and I won’t be happy if I never get to see you again. He’ll be fine with it.” 

“You know something? I kind of, sort of, just might accidentally… _like_...Edward, just a little bit,” he admitted with a crooked grin.

“I think Edward just might kind of sort of accidentally like you just a little bit too,” I acknowledged with a tiny laugh. The idea of these two becoming friends, even cautious friends, was a little weird, but funny, as well. No matter what kind of friendship finally developed between them, it was going to be such a relief not to have to worry about them killing each other anymore.

He snorted skeptically. “Edward likes me? Yeah, right.” 

I let that remark pass. “So, is something broken in there?” I asked, tenderly touching his swollen, purple hand.

“Naw, just sprained probably.” He casually waved off my concern. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to plow my fist into a concrete wall. Now I know.” He shrugged and grinned.

“What about this?” I touched the side of his face, which was slightly swollen and red. It was obvious Edward had hit him, and I didn’t think I wanted to know the details.

“Don’t be mad at your vampire, Bella. I deserved that one,” he said softly.

I sighed and shook my head, pushing that comment aside, too. I would never understand male posturing even if I lived for an eternity.

He got up off of his knees and plopped down on the coffee table. Luckily it was solid wood and held his weight without so much as a creak. “I’m really worried about you.” The joking Jacob was gone.

“I’m really worried about me, too. But I’m in good hands,” I assured him.

He sighed and changed the subject. I was glad. I wasn’t sure I could handle a deep conversation about the baby and my future.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

I smiled, so overwhelmed with the change in him. He’d always been gentle and caring where I was concerned, but this was different. He wasn’t offering his help to “one-up” Edward, like in the past. He was acting like a true friend should act, and I loved him for it. “How are you at making sandwiches?”

He grinned. “The best. What do you want? Just name it.”

He ventured into the small kitchen and fixed me something to eat, bringing it to me on a fancy china plate. He sat beside me and talked idly while I ate. He told me the news from La Push, as well as all of the gossip I’d missed out on while I was gone. After I’d finished eating, he sat my plate down on the coffee table and grabbed my hand, and it didn’t feel awkward at all. It felt right.

We talked about anything and everything, except for the baby and Edward. It felt good to have my Jacob back.

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD~**

I arrived at the garage just as Emmett and Jasper were introducing Seth to what used to be my Ducati 848 motorcycle.

“Woah.” Seth was smiling, his face aglow with the kind of adoration you only see when a man is in the same room with three hundred and seventy pounds of sleek steel that tops out at 159 mph on the open road.

He walked around it several times, poked his face up close to the dashboard and examined the controls, then lightly ran his finger over the smooth silver finish. He whistled in appreciation. The rest of us laughed. He didn’t need to say anything else. That whistle—the universal male response to beauty and speed—said it all. We all just stood around and looked at it, silently worshiping it. Suddenly Emmett grabbed two helmets off of the shelf behind him. He tucked one underneath his arm and tossed the other one to a surprised Seth.

“Want to test it out?” Emmett asked, grinning widely.

“Woah! Seriously?!” he croaked. “You’re going to let me drive it?”

We all protested, much to Seth’s disappointment, that he wasn’t licensed to drive on the open highway. He settled for sitting behind Emmett, casually holding on to the sides of his shirt. I predicted that within a few moments of hitting the asphalt, Seth would have both arms wrapped around Emmett’s waist, holding on for dear life. I’d taken that bike out for a spin before handing it over to Jasper. It was one fast machine.

With warnings to be careful, Emmett and Seth backed out of the garage and slowly drove off. Jazz and I waited in silence and before long we heard the distant sound of a sudden burst of speed, signaling they’d made it to the hardtop and were racing off into the night.

Jazz leaned up against the workbench along the wall. “Bella’s fine, Edward. Jacob will watch out for her.”

Having a brother who could sense your feelings was convenient at times. At the very least it saved on needless conversation.

I sighed. “You’re right, of course. I’m just being…well…”

“You’re just being Edward.” He chuckled, finishing my thought for me. “And it’s normal to worry about those we love.”

“Speaking of which, did Alice talk to you? She assured me she would.”

“Yes, she did, and it was a complete shock. I had no idea what was bothering her, but I never imagined it would be something like that.”

“What’s your theory?” I asked, curious about Jazz’s take on the whole situation.

“Latent memories from her human past. Has to be,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders. “There’s no other explanation that makes any sense.”

I nodded in silent agreement. “I think she was worried about what you’d think, especially if this man meant something to her.”

He laughed bitterly. “Like I have any right to be upset about something like that. Look at what my life was like before Alice. It definitely wasn’t anything to brag about. I can’t believe she’d worry about something like that.”

“Any ideas about who it is?” I asked hesitantly. I was prying into something that wasn’t any of my business, but my curiosity was getting the better of me.

He didn’t answer me for the longest time. I was considering changing the subject when he finally spoke to me in his thoughts. _**I** ** _f_ I tell you something, will you keep it to yourself? It can’t go any further than this room.**_

“Of course.”

_**Alice has never told the rest of you much about her past, has she?** _

“Not very much, no,” I admitted with a shake of my head.

_**When I met her in Philadelphia, she was living with a vampire—a man. His name was Daniel Hart. Have you heard of him?** _

“No. Should I have?”

_**I didn’t know anything about him at the time I met Alice, but I found out later he’s been nothing but one big thorn in Aro’s side for centuries. He’s been trying to establish his own version of the Volturi since the 1700s. He started out in Eastern Europe then came over to the United States in the 1800s to try the same thing.** _

“And he’s still alive to talk about it?” I asked, astonished that Aro hadn’t killed him long ago.

_**I’m not sure if he still alive. I haven’t really made a concerted effort to find out, since Alice isn’t involved with him anymore.** _

I had to ask. “Involved. What did that mean, exactly?”

_**She swore to me at the time that he was just a friend and business partner. They both lived in apartments above his business. Separate rooms, but still, same building. At the time I had my doubts, but she swore, and still swears to this day, that he was just a friend. She also says she didn’t know anything about his subversive activities. And, she says it isn’t Daniel’s voice she’s hearing.** _

“What kind of business were they in together?”

_**He was an artist. He apparently made a living doing portraits and commissions for Philadelphia’s upper crust society-types. Alice designed clothing for a fashion house in New York. Daniel helped her with her design sketches.** _

I had to smile. I could picture Alice bent over a drawing board, pencil stuck behind her ear, hands on hips, and poring over magazines for up-and-coming fashion trends. Then suddenly a thought occurred to me out of the blue.

“Is he the one who…?” I left the sentence unfinished, hoping Jazz would pick up on my meaning.

 _ **Changed her?**_ When I nodded, he continued. _**She says no. What she told you about waking up alone was true. But it was less than an hour later that she says Daniel found her. He took her under his wing and helped her adjust to vampire life. And before you ask, she says she asked Daniel who changed her, but he told her he had no idea. I know one thing for sure, though. If this Daniel Hart is still alive, I’d give anything to sit down and have a very long chat with him. I only met him once and that was very briefly, but I just have this feeling he knew a lot more about Alice’s human past than he told her. We left shortly after that, so I never got the chance to ask him about it further.**_

At that moment, we heard the approaching roar of the Ducati. Emmett and Seth were just a few moments away from being back.

_**Please don’t say anything to Alice about all of this.** _

“I won’t, Jazz.”

Jacob walked in about the same time the Ducati streaked into the garage. It didn’t escape my attention that he was once again shirtless, which seemed to always happen when he was around Bella. His eyebrows rose in appreciation of the motorcycle, but he said nothing. _Strange_. His thoughts were a mixed-up jumble of worry over Bella and the pack.

“Carlisle met me on the porch, Edward. He wants a quick word with us before we leave. That means you too, Seth.” Jacob turned and left for the house without further comment.

 

* * *

 

“Is Bella well?” I asked Jacob in the hallway outside of Carlisle’s office.

“She puked her guts out after she ate. Is that normal?”

“Where is she?” I asked, alarmed.

“Relax. She’s asleep. I tucked her into bed after she threw up all her food. Sorry about the wolf smell in your bedroom, but she was too weak to make it to bed on her own.” Jacob’s characteristic needling of me was gone now. I sensed that he was truly worried about her, as was I.

“So, you didn’t answer me. Is that normal?” he asked insistently.

“Jacob. Seth. Edward. Come in.” Carlisle swung the door to his office wide, and ushered the three of us inside. Jacob’s question went unanswered as we all took seats on the opposite side of Carlisle’s desk and waited.

“Jacob, we wanted to speak with you and Seth before you left. I’m sure we don’t have to tell you that Bella’s pregnancy can’t become common knowledge. Of course the pack will find out, but we must insist that you refrain from telling Billy or Charlie,” Carlisle said.

“You can’t keep Bella away from Charlie forever,” Jacob insisted. “He’s going to find out eventually.”

“We know that, but right now we feel the pack’s reaction to all this takes priority,” Carlisle acknowledged. “Do you have any idea how Sam is going to take the news?”

Jacob snorted derisively. “You can bet it won’t be good.”

“We can’t let him hurt her, Jake!” Seth chimed in urgently. “Or the baby!”

I smiled inwardly at Alice’s suggestion to include Seth. His love for Bella could only have a positive influence on the pack’s thoughts. He also seemed to have already formed an attachment to the baby, too.

“Nobody’s going to hurt Bella,” Jacob assured us all in a hard, alpha-male voice. For all of his sniping at me, I trusted his affection for my wife. He’d protect her, just like I would.

“So what are you going to tell Charlie?” Jacob asked, effectively dismissing the subject of pack retaliation.

I sighed. “We haven’t a clue."  I took a mental deep breath and asked, “Any suggestions?”

We all waited to see what he would come up with. My gaze slid to his profile; he was smirking. _**It's a shame we can't tell him you knocked her up before you dumped her. He’d believe that in a heartbeat. He never did approve of you. But the timing's all wrong, so that's out. Shame.**_

I hissed softly, which alarmed both Carlisle and Seth.

“Edward.” That one word of caution from Carlisle served as a reminder to hold my temper. Since killing someone wasn’t exactly being civil, I had to restrain myself once again.

“It was just a thought,” Jacob said, chuckling. “Other than that, I have no clue how you’re going to explain this or pass off this creature-baby as human. You’re on your own.”

I glared at him, while Carlisle attempted to smooth things over. “If you think of anything, please feel free to share it with us. We’d be very appreciative of any ideas.”

“Sure, sure,” he answered, getting to his feet. Seth took his cue and moved along behind him toward the door. Out in the hall, Jacob turned to me once again. “I have a lot of questions about Bella’s condition, but they can wait. You need to get back to her. She shouldn’t be alone for very long—I can tell that much already. So, maybe I can stop by tomorrow?”

Jacob was annoying the hell out of me, which was a common occurrence. Just seconds earlier I’d wanted to choke him, and now I felt ashamed of my anger. He truly cared about Bella and was putting her health before his own needs by delaying his questions until tomorrow. I was sure he had many, and would grill me mercilessly as soon as he got the chance. But right now, all that mattered was the woman both of us loved.

“Stop by anytime you wish,” I said. And I meant every word.

He nodded his approval and strode off down the hall toward the stairs. As he started to round the corner, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Watch over her closely, Edward.” Seth nodded his silent agreement, then they both disappeared from my view.

* * *

 

I turned up the gas logs as far as they would go, and slid underneath the covers beside Bella. I wanted the room hot as hell tonight because I wasn’t going to let her out of my arms for one minute.

“Hey,” she murmured sleepily.

“Hey yourself, sleepy head.”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I was supposed to be naked and sexy when you got here, and instead I’m passed out in the bed in my clothes.”

“It’s all right,” I assured her. I helped her get out of her clothing, then pulled her warm, nude body close against mine.

“How was your visit with Jacob?”

“He was so sweet, not like the old Jacob at all. He fixed me something to eat, and then…” Her voice drifted off to silence. She didn’t want me to know she’d gotten sick again.

“He helped you while you were sick and carried you to bed,” I finished. “He told me.”

“He asked if he could still be a part of our lives, as a friend. He was really sincere. I don’t think he’ll cause any trouble. You don’t mind if he visits occasionally, do you?”

“Not at all. I told him to stop by anytime he wanted.”

Bella smiled up at me and snuggled into my arms. I was glad Jacob and I had established some sort of truce in our tumultuous relationship. Bella had to be our main focus now, and Jacob seemed to finally understand that. I was pretty sure the sniping would continue—we both derived too much pleasure from it—but the serious fighting was a thing of the past.

I had a feeling Rose’s bodyguard duties were going to be better served when Sam found out about this baby. No matter what Jacob said, the pack wasn’t going to stand for this. They’d see it as a threat, and would more than likely take steps to prevent this birth.

As Bella fell asleep in my arms, I wondered if Jacob had the courage to stand up to Sam, especially if it came to a choice: Bella or his place in the pack.

 

 


	13. Reaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though my version of Breaking Dawn has a completely different tone to it than SM’s version, it would be totally out-of-character for me to write the wolf pack’s reaction to Bella’s pregnancy any differently than she did. There is only one way they would logically respond to the news of a baby. Therefore, I’m following BD pretty closely in regards to that, and some of SM’s exact dialogue may show up in this and future chapters.

_**(Day 6 in Forks – Bella: approx. 26 weeks)** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

Bella woke early and was very lethargic. My attempts to get her up and dressed for her morning checkup with Carlisle proved fruitless.

“I’m just so tired, Edward,” she murmured, rolling back over.

I was just getting ready to call Carlisle to fill him in on her condition, when he called. I moved out of the bedroom and walked down the hall into the kitchen to talk. I dispensed with the usual pleasantries. “Carlisle, I was just about to call you.”

“Is Bella all right?” he asked immediately.

“I can’t get her up this morning. She says she’s too tired.”

“I’ll come there, that’s not a problem, but you need to come to the house. Jacob and Seth are here. Jacob is insisting on talking to you and only you. It seems rather urgent, so I suspect it’s about the pack’s reaction.”

“Tell him I’ll be there as soon as you get here. I don’t want to leave Bella alone.”

After we disconnected, I went back to check on her. She was curled up underneath the covers sound asleep. She looked very small and fragile to me, nearly swallowed up by the large expanse of our bed. I wanted to crawl back in between the blankets and hold her close,  _protect_ her, but whatever news Jacob had wouldn’t wait while I indulged myself in the luxury of trying to calm my own fears.

* * *

  
I heard Jacob’s thoughts long before I bounded up the front steps in a panic. The pack was going to kill the child Bella was carrying,  _tonight_ , which of course, would kill Bella, too. I couldn’t believe they would even consider such an act. After everything that had happened with Victoria and the newborns, the pack had to know we’d fight to the bitter end to protect our family.

“I hope you got all of that, because I don’t want to repeat it out loud.” Jacob was pacing the floor and raking his fingers through his hair in frustration. Seth was perched stiffly on the edge of the sofa watching him.

“I got enough. We need to get everyone together and come up with a plan.” I whipped out my cell and called Carlisle. I told him to bring Bella to the house as soon as he could and that I’d fill him in on Jacob’s news when everyone was together.

In a matter of seconds after ending my phone call, Rose appeared with Emmett at her side. “What’s wrong?” she asked, glaring at Jacob but directing her question to me. She looked on the verge of attacking him at any moment.

Jacob stopped pacing and snarled at me. “Call off the blond pit bull.”

“Excuse me? I’m not the dog in this room,” she shot back.

“Rose, it’s all right. Jacob’s here to help.” Or at least I hoped he was. His thoughts were a jumble of voices, bits and pieces of conversation, and small snatches of whispered panic from the pack meeting. What I heard in his head worried the hell out of me.

Jasper, Alice and Esme suddenly emerged into the living room from various areas in the house. Alice was frowning and I knew it was because she was frustrated that she couldn’t see what was going to happen.

Esme broke away from them and moved to my side. “What is it, Edward?”

“The pack’s reaction. It’s not good. As soon as Carlisle brings Bella here, we’ll have a meeting and Jacob can give us all the details. In the meantime, she’s going to need some breakfast.”

Esme smiled reassuringly and patted my arm. “Rose and I will handle that.” Esme motioned for Rose to follow her, who reluctantly tore her gaze from the back of Jacob’s head and left the room with her.

The rest of us waited nervously for Carlisle. Jacob had finally stopped pacing and now sat on the sofa beside Seth, his head in his hands and staring at the floor. I heard disbelief, anger, and frustration in both their minds.

A few minutes later, Carlisle pushed open the front door, carrying Bella in his arms. Despite the smile she gave me, I could tell she didn’t like being carried around like a helpless child, but there was nothing else to do. She was growing weaker by the day.

“I’m going to check on Bella first, then we’ll talk,” I said to no one in particular.

I followed Carlisle up the stairs and wasn’t a bit surprised to find Jacob right on my heels.  _ **Don’t even tell me to go back. I’m worried about her too, you know.**_

Carlisle got her settled in one of the guest bedrooms and met us outside her closed door.

“How is she?” I asked softly.

“Nothing has changed with the baby, but she’s getting very weak from the morning sickness. I’m going to do some blood work, although I doubt it will be very accurate.” He sighed with frustration. It was very disconcerting to see Carlisle so unsure of himself. His inability to help Bella was weighing more and more heavily on him as each day passed.

I let Carlisle know that Rose and Esme were preparing Bella’s breakfast. He assured both Jacob and me that Bella wasn’t in any immediate danger. We just needed to find something for her to eat that she could keep down.

“As soon as Esme brings her her meal, I want everyone in the dining room for a meeting," he said.

I nodded and opened the door to Bella’s room. Jacob hovered in the doorway while I sat on the edge of the bed and delivered a soft kiss to her cheek. “How are you feeling, love?”

“I’m all right,” she insisted. “Just starving, that’s all.”

“Esme will bring you some breakfast in just a few minutes.”

Bella shifted her body and peered around me. “Who’s that hanging in the doorway like a bat? Get in here, Jake.”

Jacob laughed and came to join us on the bed. He was sitting on her right side, me on her left. “Bells, I’m not going to lie. You’re looking a little rough around the edges.”

I immediately wanted to throttle him for his remark. I would never dream of saying such a thing to her.

“I may look bad, but at least _I_ don’t run around half naked all the time,” she shot back, apparently unaffected by his bluntness. I had to fight to keep from smirking. _Good one, Bella._

He laughed suggestively. “Does my being half naked bother you, Bella?”

A soft hiss from me and Bella’s eyes grew wide with alarm at my reaction. “Jake!” she exclaimed. “Behave!”

Jacob seemed unbothered by the fact that I was perilously close to ripping off his head. He grinned at me. _**That was a joke, Edward. You know, you really need to work on your sense of humor. It’s a little under-developed.**_  Aloud he said, “Sorry, Bells. I’ll be good now. So, have you picked out any names for the little tyke yet?” 

“Actually, I have.” Bella’s face lit up with happiness and took on that soft glow she always got at just the thought of our child. “If it’s a boy, I want to name him Edward Jacob Cullen,” she announced with a proud smile.

_Edward Jacob??!_

_**Edward Jacob??!**_ Jacob exclaimed silently in his head at the exact same time I did.

This was certainly the first I’d heard of that idea. I fought the urge to frown. A sidelong glance in Jacob’s direction revealed he wasn’t practicing the same restraint. “Jacob.” I glared at him, my silent warning not to say anything about it that would upset Bella. “It’s a nice name, don’t you think?”

“Sure, sure,” he answered. “I like it. So, what about a girl?”

Bella beamed. “Renesmee Carlie Cullen. After Renee and Esme. The Carlie part comes from Charlie and Carlisle’s names.”

“Renesmee. Wow, that’s a mouthful.” He chuckled. I glared at him again when I heard his true thoughts on the matter. He added hastily, “I like it, though. Very original, Bells. You can bet no one else will have her name.”

Thankfully, Esme arrived with Bella’s breakfast, before Jacob could do any more damage. “I’ll stay with her, Edward.” Then she added silently, _**Carlisle wants you downstairs. I’ll listen in from up here.**_

* * *

“They think it’s an abomination, and to protect their families they need to kill it before it’s born. They plan to do it tonight.”

Jacob’s pronouncement to the room resulted in a variety of reactions, both vocal and silent: cries of alarm from Alice and Rose, a muttered ‘bring it on’ from Emmett, dismay and sadness from Carlisle, and finally Jasper, who was already silently planning defense strategies in his head.

“How can an unborn child be a threat to anyone?” Rose exclaimed angrily. “It’s ridiculous! They should wait until it’s born before they start acting like a bunch of insane rabid dogs!”

I heard, and Jasper felt, Jacob’s temper flare to life. Jazz immediately turned his attention to his end of the dining room table, ready to intervene if things got out of hand.

“It’s not ridiculous!” Jacob exclaimed hotly. “They have a point! The baby is part vampire. It’s going to be a newborn in more ways than one. Don’t forget, the pack has seen newborns in action, and they haven’t forgotten what they’re like. They’re wild, violent and unable to be reasoned with. You should be able to understand why they’d fear a young one with the same characteristics. So, it’s not ridiculous, and we aren’t rabid dogs.”

“Rose.” Carlisle’s soft command cut off her rebuttal. “We’re not here to name call or to fight amongst ourselves. Our main focus is to protect Bella and the child, and to decide how best to do that.”

“Can you give us details?” Jasper asked. “That would help us plan a defense.”

“Or offense,” Emmett snarled softly. Another soft reprimand from Carlisle quieted Em.

“Paul, Jared and Sam were to take down Edward and Rosalie,” Jacob said, directing his answer to Jasper.

“Brady, Collin, Seth and Leah were assigned Carlisle, Alice and Esme.” I heard the fear creeping into Jasper’s thoughts, along with anger, at the mention of Alice’s name, and saw Carlisle flinch at Esme’s.

“Me, Quil and Embry were to take Emmett and you. And finally…” Jacob hesitated. “Finally, whoever had a clear line on…on Bella was supposed to take it.”

It was then that Jacob turned his back to the room and leaned a hand against the wall. He dropped his head and stared at the floor. I heard nothing but profound sadness and shame in his thoughts. No one else in the room spoke until Jacob finally turned around again to face us. “It’s not right what they’re planning to do. You’re absolutely right, Rose. Killing innocent people is unacceptable,” he acknowledged softly. “I couldn’t be part of that. Hurting Bella wasn’t an option for me, so I left the pack and Seth followed me without permission.”

“What do you mean by ‘left’? Jasper asked.

“I’m no longer in Sam’s pack. I’m a one-man show now.”

 _“Two-man_ show,” Seth added with a quiet confidence.

Carlisle stood. “Jacob, I’m sorry it came to that. You’ve done us a great service today and at great sacrifice. We’re extremely appreciative.”

“Do you think they’ll attack us now that we’ve been forewarned, and since they’re short two fighters? How will that affect their strategy?” Jasper asked.

“I don’t think they’ll attack now,” Seth chimed in.

“I’m hoping Seth is right,” Jacob acknowledged with a nod. “But we should set up a perimeter just in case, and run constant patrols.” He glanced at me. “You’ll need to be 'listening' closely from now on, Edward, because I can’t hear the pack anymore.”

“And Bella is never to be left alone,” Rose added with a hard gleam of determination in her golden eyes.

* * *

 

After the meeting, Jacob and Seth disappeared outside to establish a patrol boundary. I checked in on Bella, but she was napping. Rose was sitting in an armchair near the bed, reading. She smiled and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. I headed back downstairs, intending to talk with Jasper about the pack when I heard a commotion outside on the lawn.

_“Why the hell are you here?!” Jacob’s loud angry voice._

_“You think I’m just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?”_   
  


Was that Leah Clearwater? Emmett and I arrived at the front door at the same time. I waved away the rest of the family who’d come to investigate. I was curious, as I was sure Emmett was, but I was hesitant to interfere in the conversation taking place outside.

“Maybe we shouldn’t get involved, Em. This sounds like family business.” Instead, we settled on eavesdropping on the shouting match and only intervening if things turned violent.  
  


 **Jacob:** _“Seth doesn’t want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here!”_

 **Leah:** _“Tell me who does want me around, and I’m outta here!”_

 **Jacob:** _“Did Sam send you?”_

 **Leah:** _“My allegiance is no longer with him. And my choices of who to give my loyalty to are pretty limited, so I’m working with the options I’ve got. I’m choosing you, Jacob.”_  
  


I raised my eyebrows and looked at Emmett. A slow smile spread across his face. “They definitely won’t attack now,” he said quietly. “They’re down three fighters, instead of two. It’d be suicide, and Sam’s not that stupid.”

I nodded in relieved agreement.  
  


 **Jacob:** _“You’re not staying, Leah. You don’t like me, and I don’t like you.”_

 **Leah:** _“That doesn’t matter to me. I’m staying with Seth.”_

 **Jacob:** _“You don’t even like vampires! Don’t you think that’s a little conflict of interest right there?!”_

 **Leah:** _“You don’t like vampires either!”_  
  


“Awww, Jacob doesn’t like you, Edward.” Emmett snickered softly. I punched him in the shoulder.  
  


 **Jacob:** _“I’m committed to this alliance. You aren’t.”_

 **Leah:** _“I’ll keep my distance from them. I’ll run patrols out here, just like Seth. I will not betray my pack.”_

 **Jacob:** _“This isn’t your pack. It isn’t even a pack! This is just me going off on my own! Why can’t you just leave me alone!”_

**Seth:** _“You can’t send her away, Jake. With her here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this puts Sam down to seven. There’s no way he’s going to mount an attack that outnumbered.”_   
  


“Smart kid,” Emmett commented.  
  


**Jacob:** _“I don’t want to lead a pack, Seth.”_

**Leah:** _“So don’t lead us.”_

**Seth:** _“Jake, I belong here. I do like vampires. Cullens anyway. They’re people to me, and I’m going to protect them, ‘cause that’s what we’re supposed to do.”_

 **Jacob:** _“But she’s not here to protect anyone, Seth. She’s here to get away from Sam!”_

**Leah:** _“So what if I want to get away from Sam. Why should that matter to you if I do what I’m supposed to do and am loyal to you? I’ll do anything you want, Jacob, except go back to Sam’s pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can’t get away from.”_   
  


“This sounds like a soap opera,” Emmett snickered.  
  


 **Jacob:** _“Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don’t you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night?”_  
  


Our interest immediately piqued.  
  


 **Leah:** _“Well, it was pretty clear that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. But I could tell he wasn’t going to mount an attack right away. It would be suicide at this point with you and Seth AWOL, and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I’m not sure what they’ll do, but I wouldn’t be wondering the forest alone if I was a leech. It’s open season on vamps now. So that’s everything. What do we do now?”_  
  


There was a long silence before Jacob finally answered.  
  


 **Jacob** : _“I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That’s all we can do.”_

 **Seth:** _“I’ll show her the perimeter and then I’ll run the border, Jake.”_

 **Jacob:** _“Sure, sure. I’m going to check in with the Cullens.”_  
  


Emmett clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Bella’s going to be fine. No one’s going to get within miles of her.”  
  
He left the room. I waited for Jacob to come in like he’d said, but he never showed. I cracked open the door and saw him sitting on the bottom step of the front porch. I was surprised to realize I felt sorry for him. Just like me, he hadn’t asked for his life to fall apart. And Carlisle was right. He was making a monumental personal sacrifice to help Bella. I made a decision. I shut the front door behind me and joined him on the steps.

“Are you all right, Jacob?”

“You heard, huh?”

“Yes, I was eavesdropping. Sorry,” I admitted. “But you made the right decision, at least where Bella is concerned. The pack isn’t going to attack with three of its fighters gone. She’s safe, at least for now.”

“I know.” He sighed and picked at a loose thread on his jeans. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Jacob was depressed and I knew the perfect way to bring him out of it, at least temporarily. “So what do you really think about the name ‘Edward Jacob Cullen’?”

“I don’t like it,” he grumbled.

I laughed softly. “Trust me. I’m not crazy about it either.”

“I mean, why Edward Jacob? Why not Jacob Edward?” he asked, puzzled.

I was wondering why there was even a ‘Jacob’ there to begin with, but I kept my thoughts on that to myself. “Because Edward Jacob is alphabetically correct.” .

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. What does the alphabet have to do with it?”

“Well, it just sounds better that way. Jacob Edward sounds awkward.”

He snorted. “Says _you._ It sounds pretty good to me.” It didn’t escape my notice that a small smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. My plan to cheer him up with a little verbal sparring was working.

“And think about nicknames. If we were to shorten it, then EJ would sound much better than JE.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I suppose it would.”

We were silent for awhile. I deliberately shut out his thoughts and gave him privacy to deal with everything, at least inside of his head.

“And what’s the deal with this ‘Renesmee’ name?” he asked suddenly.

I chuckled. “I didn’t even know she’d picked names out. She came up with them all on her own, apparently.” 

“I mean, think of the poor kid in Kindergarten trying to learn how to write all of that. Do you even have any idea how to spell it?”

“R-E-N-E-E-E-S-M-E?” I suggested, simply pasting together Renee and Esme’s names. “I’m not really sure.”

“That’s a hell of a lot of E’s,” he grumbled. “Well, I’m not calling her that. We’ll have to come up with some sort of nickname.”

“Ness. Or maybe Nessa,” I suggested. “Personally, I like Nessa.”

Jacob looked over at me and frowned. “Nessa is a nickname for Vanessa, Edward. There isn’t even an A in the name. I think ‘Nessie’ sounds better.”

“Nessie??” I laughed at the thought of Bella’s reaction to that one. “Bella will kill you if you name her daughter after the Loch Ness Monster.”

“I don’t care what she does to me. I just want her to make it through this in one piece, and stay human while doing it,” he said softly.

“On that, you and I are in complete agreement.”

As much as he annoyed me, and as much as I sometimes wished he’d disappear from my life forever, I had to admit that Jacob had his heart in the right place, finally. The sacrifice he’d made for Bella and for the child she was carrying was one I identified with. I too had turned my back on my family to do what I’d thought was right for Bella when I’d left her. I knew the loneliness he was feeling right now at being separated from the people he loved. Even if he was doing the right thing, that didn’t make the pain any less.

“You know what really bothers me?” he asked finally. “You’re right. They’re not going to attack us now. But what are they going to do once the child is born? If they can kill it without hurting Bella, they’ll do it. How long can you guys live under siege like this? We can’t guard you forever.”

 _ **Edward! Bella is sick and she wants you!**_  Rose’s voice pierced into my head like a knife.

“I have to go.” I jumped up from the steps and rushed into the house. Jacob was on my heels as I flew up the stairs to Bella’s room. I heard the gagging, and smelled the acrid smell of vomit, long before I was even close.

“What’s wrong!” Jacob shouted. “Dammit, Edward! Tell me what’s wrong!”

I ignored him and threw open the door to Bella’s room. Carlisle was with her, holding her head over a small wastebasket. Rose was holding her hand, rubbing her shoulder, doing anything she could to comfort her. Bella’s body shook violently as the contents of her stomach churned out of her and into the wastebasket.

“Edward!” she gasped painfully when the heaving finally stopped. “I want Edward!!”

“I’m here, love.” I gathered her in my arms and held her close. She began to sob—loud painful sobs that tore at my heart. “It’s all right, Bella. Ssssh, it’s all right.” 

“The baby’s going to die, Edward! It’s going to die!” she sobbed hysterically into my chest.

Carlisle disappeared from the room and reappeared a few moments later with a syringe.  _ **I’m going to give her a very mild sedative, if that’s all right with you. She needs to let her body rest.**_

I nodded my approval, and held her until it began to take effect. She relaxed in my arms, then finally fell asleep. Only then did I allow Carlisle to pull her from me. I tucked the blankets up around her and pushed gently at the hair surrounding her face.

Carlisle and Rose were gone now. It was Jacob who finally entered the room and sat down on the bed beside us. His expression was stricken, his eyes filled with fear. He grasped her hand and held it. I didn’t object; I understood. Her other hand was clasped in mine so tightly I had to constantly remind myself not to hurt her.

“You’re not going to tell her about any of this pack stuff.” Jacob’s voice was shaky, but I heard a firm conviction in it. “I know I’ve always accused you of keeping things from her, but she can’t handle this. She doesn’t need to know about what’s happening outside these walls.”

“I agree.”

A soft noise at the door caught my attention. Seth.

“Can I come in, Edward?”

I nodded. He came in quietly and sat down in the armchair, keeping his eyes fixed on Bella. He didn’t say a word, and neither did Jacob.

I shut my mind completely down after that. I didn’t want to hear their thoughts. I didn’t want to hear their worries, their doubts, or their fears. I had enough of that in my own head to last me an eternity.

 


	14. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter finally addresses the blood issue. Somewhere around this part in Breaking Dawn, I began to get very disillusioned with the direction Stephenie was taking the story. The whole thing was just completely implausible to me. Carlisle Cullen was a practicing doctor, but he couldn’t figure out why Bella’s health was deteriorating so drastically?? Come on, Stephenie. Geez. The first thing a doctor does when you step into his office is order blood work to be done. Once you have those results, then you have your answers. My version employs a more logical approach than having Jacob provide an “a-ha!” moment with his thoughts about the baby being a bloodsucker. 
> 
> Also, an original character (Rhodes) from my story, "In Search of Forever", is mentioned in this chapter. 
> 
> Finally, I had a vague idea of how to handle the blood thing and knew I wanted to approach it from a medical standpoint, but I couldn’t get it organized enough in my head to write it. I simply didn’t have the medical knowledge to even know where to start in my research. One of my readers came to my rescue. The technical aspects of the treatments Carlisle proposes are the direct result of a very informative chat session with this reader.

_**(Day 7 in Forks – Bella: approx. 27 weeks)** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

“Good morning, love.”

Bella lifted her head slightly off the pillow. Her eyes bounced around the room in confusion. She was disoriented, no doubt a side effect of the sedative Carlisle had given her.

“You’re in one of Esme’s spare bedrooms.”

With a soft ‘oh’, she relaxed her back onto the mattress. Soon after, she laboriously maneuvered herself onto her side until she was facing me in the bed. I fell into those deep brown eyes, even as her brow puckered together with worry. “Your eyes are getting darker. You need to hunt.”

I reached out a lone finger and trailed it down her cheek. “I know, and I will soon. Don’t worry about me, love.”

What I didn’t tell her was that I had no plans to hunt, not while her health continued to decline right before my eyes. The twelve hours of rest that had been forced upon her by the sedative seemed to have had no positive effect. Dark circles still hung underneath her eyes; her voice lacked its usual strength.

“How long have I been out of it?” 

“Nearly twelve hours. Carlisle gave you something to help you sleep. Do you remember?”

She frowned and shook her head. “All I remember is throwing up and you holding me.”

“You were very upset. He thought it best to give your body some time to rest. By the way, Carlisle is going to be up here in just a bit to check you.”

She started pushing herself up with both elbows, then both hands. “I need a human minute really bad before that happens.”

She sighed, but still smiled with gratitude as I helped her from bed and into the bathroom. In just the few feet between the bed and the bathroom door, she had to stop twice to rest. It was alarming the nosedive her energy level had taken since yesterday, and her heart rate was higher than normal, too.

“I know you hate this, Bella, but…” I scooped her up into my arms and carried her the rest of the way to the bathroom. I set her down gently onto the side of the bathtub to let her gather her strength. Without much protest from her, I helped her use the toilet, then helped her bathe, since she lacked the energy to stand in the shower.

“I’m really starting to feel like I’m a burden on everyone.” She swiped at a tear that had escaped and made its way down her cheek.

I knelt beside the tub and tugged at her chin until she was forced to meet my eyes. “You are not a burden. You are my wife. You need me, and I’m here for you. That’s what married couples do, right? ‘In sickness and in health’, remember? You’d do the same thing for me if I was sick.”

She snorted bitterly and swiped at her face. “You’ll never get sick. You’ll never be like this: helpless, with everyone having to care for you like you’re an infant.”

“My sweet Bella,” I whispered as I touched my lips to her forehead. “You’re right in that I will never get _physically_ sick, but I’ve been sick at heart many times in the past, and you’ve always been there for me, either to cheer me up, or to scold me for being morose. Remember what I told you on Isle Esme the day we went cliff diving? I told you that you were my strength, and you are. You’re my motivation to keep putting one foot in front of the other in this endless stretch of years that lay ahead of me. We need each other to get through this, love. You need my physical strength, and I need your emotional strength. Without it, I’ll stumble and fall, too.”

She stared at me for a few moments, then burst into tears. I pulled her to me and let her cry it out. Her tears soaked into my shoulder, her wet hands left dark prints on my shirt sleeves. I smiled to myself and hugged her tighter when I heard the muffled words, ‘I love you so much’, spoken against my chest.

“You are my life,” I whispered into her ear.

Fifteen minutes later, Bella was clean, dried and tucked back into bed with a fresh nightgown someone had thoughtfully left draped across the chair. Only when Carlisle quietly entered the room did our fingers unlace and our eyes finally take notice of our surroundings. I scooted away from her to give Carlisle room to work.

“Edward.” Carlisle nodded his greeting and then turned his attention to Bella. “How are you feeling this morning, Bella?”

“Tired and hungry.”

I watched him take her vitals. He lingered at her heart longer than necessary. “Have you noticed any change in your heartbeat? Racing, or fluttering?” he asked, keeping his voice calm and neutral. Carlisle was using his ‘doctor voice’ now—the one he used when he didn’t want to alarm his patient. A feeling of dread stole over me at that realization.

“Sometimes it feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest,” she admitted, glancing my way with a guilty look for not having told me this before.

“I noticed that while I was helping her to the bathroom,” I added.

I smiled at her to let her know all was well. I would have discovered it sooner or later anyway. Her heartbeat was the background music for my life. Any change in its rhythm also altered the cadence of my existence, no matter if it raced frantically from my kisses, or fluttered because of sickness.

He nodded and continued to listen to her heart, while giving me a running commentary in his thoughts. _**She’s having heart palpitations. They seem to be erratic at this point. She had one just a moment ago, but her heart rate is normal now. The hospital is faxing her lab results to me shortly. That may give us some idea of what’s going on with her heart, before we have to do an EKG.**_

“Is everything all right?” she asked.

“You’re having palpitations, as I’m sure you’ve already noticed. They can be quite uncomfortable, but if you experience any pain with them, you must tell us immediately,” he said, his voice as stern as I’d ever heard it. Bella was getting a gentle tongue-lashing from Carlisle, which was unusual for him. She glanced my way, then gave her promise to be more forthcoming in the future.

_**Seth and Jacob are here .Jacob wants details about her condition. He’s being insistent. Seth volunteered to sit with Bella while we talk. We’ll meet in my office in about twenty minutes.** _

Carlisle swiftly finished the rest of her examination. There was no significant change in anything else. She’d progressed another week in her pregnancy, which at this point, was considered normal. The most pressing concerns were the extreme fatigue and weakness, her erratic heartbeat, and her inability to keep food down.

As Carlisle was leaving, Seth peeked around the doorjamb. “Hey, guys. Can I come in now?”

I nodded. Bella’s face immediately lit up as he plopped his gangly frame into the soft chair beside her bed.

“Hey, Seth. Whassup?” she asked, grinning.

Seth grinned back and offered her his fist. She giggled and gave it a light bump with her own. The sound of their laughter made me smile. Seth lit up a room where ever he went. Even the grumpiest of people smiled in his presence. Even _Jacob_ had been known to smile occasionally when he was around. In my opinion, Seth Clearwater was the best medicine for Bella.

“I’m going to talk to Carlisle.” I bent over her and delivered a tender kiss to her mouth. “I’m just a whisper away if you need me, love.”

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

“Man, it’s like trying to get into Fort Knox just to see you.” Seth grinned crookedly and propped his feet up on the bed. “I thought I was going to have to wrestle the pit bull to the ground just to make it to the stairs.”

“The pit bull?” I asked.

“That’s what Jake calls Rosalie: the blond pit bull,” he answered, careful to keep his voice low.

Rosalie’s bell-like voice chimed loudly from downstairs. _“I heard that, puppy!!”_

Seth grinned. “She calls me ‘puppy’. Isn’t that sweet? She makes me feel all warm and cuddly inside.”

I laughed until tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes. Seth was one of the most precious human beings I’d ever known. I was just beginning to see a little of his teenage attitude leaking through his innocent, boy-like exterior, and I loved it. He was a little like Jacob in that regard, only more subtle with it. Jacob’s sarcasm was ‘in your face’, while Seth’s kind of snuck up on you like a snake in the grass.

“You're so funny,” I said, wiping at my eyes with the edge of the blanket. “Thank you. I needed that laugh today.”

He chuckled. “Hey, I have more funny stuff. What makes a wolf madder than anything?”

“What?” I asked.

“When the vending machine is out of milk bones.” 

It was corny, but I laughed anyway. I guess vampires weren’t the only ones with cheesy jokes.

“What makes a wolf happier than anything?” he asked.

“What?” I asked, giggling.

“When you scratch him behind his ears!” He laughed. “Of course, Paul has a dirtier punch line, but you don’t want to hear that one, trust me.”

I smiled fondly when his face flushed bright red with embarrassment. “Edward has a pretty cute wolf joke,” I said. “What did the vampire say to the werewolf?”

Seth beat me to the punch line. “Dude, you’re going to the dogs,” he answered, then laughed. “That’s a pretty old one, Bella. Everyone knows that one. But I have another one. It’s a little long, but it’s worth the wait to get to the punch line. Wanna hear it?”

I nodded, still smiling.

“Okay. Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched behind a log…”

I settled back and listened while he talked, still smiling at the animation in his face and the laughter dancing in his eyes. He was right, the punch line was seriously worth the wait, and so was seeing his face blush a bright scarlet when it was all over. We chuckled quite awhile over his twisted version of Little Red Riding Hood.

He leapt from that little story straight into another one, keeping me in stitches the whole time. Not once did I stop to worry about the baby, about Edward, or Charlie, or anything else unpleasant. Somebody should probably tell Carlisle that Seth was better than any sedative that had ever been invented.

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

“Why is this thing moving so fast?” Jacob asked.

He had managed to stuff himself into one of Carlisle’s rather large leather wingbacks in his office, and still there were parts of him that didn’t fit. I watched his profile carefully as Carlisle explained the chromosomal pair theory we suspected was the culprit. Carlisle also explained we couldn’t discern the sex of the child or anything else about it because of the thickness of the amniotic sac.

From eavesdropping on his thoughts, I realized that Jacob was more intelligent than he gave himself credit for. I listened with fascination while he took Carlisle’s words and mulled them over. He quickly reorganized his prior way of thinking and told himself that now he was just going to have to look at pregnancy and childbirth in a totally different light. He accepted everything he was being told that easily and that fast. I guess waking up one morning to the fact that you now had the ability to shift into an animal tended to make you more accepting of the unbelievable.

“So, when is this going to happen?” Silently, for my benefit, he added, _**How many more days do we have?**_

 _How many more days do we have for what?_ I wanted to ask, but I already knew the answer. How many more days did Bella have left of her human life? How many more days until we discovered what kind of creature we’d unknowingly created? How many more days until the pack would descend upon us and try to rid the earth of this perceived threat?

Carlisle leaned forward in his chair and laid his forearms on his desk. He held an ink pen in his right hand, which he continually stroked with his thumb while he talked. It was disturbing to watch. Carlisle, a very controlled vampire, was nervous and on edge. Somehow he managed to keep his thoughts positive, but that small movement of his thumb up and down the barrel of his pen spoke volumes to me.

When he spoke, his voice was calm and professional, and even soothing. No hint of the unease I suspected he was feeling. “A normal pregnancy lasts 40 weeks, Jacob. But actually, anywhere between 37 and 40 weeks is considered term, and labor isn’t stopped if it starts during that time. As of today, Bella is approximately 27 weeks into her term and is progressing a week for every day that passes.”

Jacob did the math in his head, then turned to face me. _**Ten to twelve days? Less than two fucking weeks is all we have???**_

“Yes, that’s the math,” I answered quietly.

He shook his head in disbelief and turned back to Carlisle. “She’s not going to make it. Even I can see that. She looks like death warmed over already. In ten more days she’s going to be…”

He left his sentence unfinished except for the addition of a bitter and disgusted sound that only served to reawaken my slumbering guilt.

“Why is she throwing up all the time?” he asked finally, after a prolonged period of silence on all our parts.

“We aren’t sure,” Carlisle answered. “Morning sickness is very common, but it usually eases and, in most cases, completely disappears by the second trimester. Bella’s is more severe than any I’ve ever seen. It shouldn’t be continuing this long, but hopefully the results from her blood work will give us some answers. I’m expecting a fax from the lab at any time.”

“All right, provided she does make it ten or twelve more days, how the hell are you planning on getting her through the delivery alive?” Jacob’s helplessness was beginning to manifest itself as anger. I was forced to shut out his thoughts when I began to hear things I didn’t want to hear. He was apparently trying to prepare himself for every eventuality and was running various scenarios through his head.

“We haven’t actually discussed this in detail,” Carlisle answered, glancing at me before continuing. “But Cesarean section is our only option. Natural childbirth is simply out of the question.”

At that moment, the fax machine began to spit out paper. Carlisle swiveled in his chair and waited for it to finish. As soon as it beeped, signaling the end of the fax, the paper ended up on Carlisle’s blotter with me and Jacob looming behind him, looking over his shoulder. Three sets of eyes swept over the paper, two hastily taking in the numbers and evaluating them, while Jacob cursed softly because he didn’t understand what he was seeing.

“She’s anemic,” I announced quietly, after studying the various numbers spread out all over the page.

“Yes, she is,” Carlisle agreed as we studied the numbers together. “And it’s a very severe case. But her Reticulocyte Count is normal. How odd.” Carlisle pointed out the number he was referring to. My past medical classes were paying off, as I quickly plucked the information out of my memory regarding red blood cell production.

“Speak English,” Jacob growled in frustration.

“The Reticulocyte Count measures the bone marrow’s production of red blood cells,” Carlisle explained. “In some cases of severe anemia, red blood cell production is compromised, but this isn’t the case with Bella. She has normal production; her bone marrow is doing its job.”

“Thank God for that,” Jacob muttered.

“But look at her hemoglobin levels, Carlisle,” I said, laying my finger on a particularly curious number. “They’re extremely low. No wonder she’s exhausted. Her organs aren’t getting anywhere near the level of oxygen they need.”

“That accounts for the heart palpitations, as well,” Carlisle added, which led to another round of questions and answers between him and Jacob, since Jacob wasn’t aware of the heart issue from this morning’s examination.

“This number here is the one I don’t understand, Edward. It makes absolutely no sense in relation to the others.” We studied the number just above his finger: Bella’s total red blood cell count, or RBC. When compared with the other numbers, there was a huge and puzzling discrepancy.

“What, guys?? What?!! _Talk to me!!”_  

Jacob was very nearly ready to pull his hair out when Carlisle and I came to the same conclusion at the exact same time. “She doesn’t have enough blood,” I said softly. “It’s a quantity issue, not quality.”

“Severe blood loss,” Carlisle said. “This is extraordinary, Edward. You’d expect to see this RBC on a battlefield. For instance, a soldier with severe trauma who’s bleeding out from an artery. We shouldn’t see levels like this in a pregnant woman. She’s losing blood faster than her bone marrow can produce replacement cells.”

“Well, where’s it going??” Jacob’s frustration level was rising fast. Then, he asked the very question aloud that Carlisle and I were asking ourselves silently. “What the hell could be sucking the bl—?”

All three of us reached the same conclusion at nearly the same time. I heard it in both of their thoughts.

 _The baby._ Except in Jacob’s head it was _**the blood-sucking leech-baby!**_

“The baby is feeding from her blood supply. Astounding.” Carlisle’s voice had taken on the awed sound of a scientist who’d finally broken through a mystery only to discover the glaring truth that should have been obvious from the beginning.

“Figures,” Jacob muttered, his dark glaring stare pointed right at center of my forehead, like it was a bulls-eye. “The thing is a 'mini-you', after all. Why didn’t you guys figure this out a long time ago?”

“Recriminations are useless at this point, Jacob,” Carlisle smoothly interjected. “Now that we know what’s wrong, we can fix it.”

“How?” Jacob asked.

I jumped in and provided the only answer available based on the data at hand. “Blood transfusions.” Carlisle nodded his silent agreement while I continued. “We’ll replace the lost blood and get her levels up to normal.”

Carlisle took over from that point. “We’ll continually monitor her RBC and hemoglobin levels with regular blood tests. And also, looking at her TBPA results, Edward, we may need to administer TPN, but we should do that after the transfusion. Let’s stick to one treatment at time, just to be safe.”

Jacob walked back around the desk and collapsed down into the chair with a sigh. “Somebody translate that gobbledy-gook for me.”

I returned to my chair and let Carlisle do the explaining, since he was the doctor in the room. My medical knowledge was fairly extensive, but there was a big difference between learning it from a book and actually using that knowledge everyday in a hospital setting.

“TBPA is an acronym for Thyroxine-binding prealbumin. Simply put, Jacob, it helps us diagnose malnutrition. Bella’s prealbumin levels are extremely low. Her continual vomiting isn’t allowing the proper amount of nutrients to be absorbed into her bloodstream, and thus is causing malnutrition. And TPN stands for Total Parenteral Nutrition, which is an intravenous method of delivering food to malnourished patients. Once we get Bella’s blood count stable, we’ll tackle the nutrient issue with TPN.”

“When can we start?” I asked.

“As soon as possible,” he answered. “I have the necessary amount of donor blood stockpiled for her, but my makeshift hospital room isn’t set up for transfusions. I’ll have to procure some items from the hospital. Hopefully by tomorrow at the latest, we can give her the first four units and see how she responds.”

Carlisle started to get up from his desk, but Jacob stopped him with another set of questions. “Let’s just say for argument’s sake that Bella makes it through this, and the baby makes it, too. How fast is it going to grow once it’s born, if it’s growing this fast inside her? Is it going to be immortal or mortal, or what? I mean, if it’s mortal and growing fast like this, it’s not going to live very long once it’s born.” He glanced at me, then quickly backtracked. “I’m sorry, Edward. I didn’t mean to…geez…you know what I mean. Something like that would break Bella’s heart.”

“We don’t have any answers. We just don’t know,” I said.

“I’m attempting to contact someone who may have some answers for us,” Carlisle interjected before Jacob could open his mouth with a rebuttal. “Her name is Rhodes. She’s a very old vampire I came into contact with while I was with the Volturi. The circumstances of our meeting were rather unfortunate, but that’s another story. Rhodes is nomadic, and has been nearly everywhere in the world at some time or another. I’m hoping that in her travels she may have come across something like this. But so far, I’m not having much luck locating her. My contact within the Volturi hasn’t provided me with anything useful. Rhodes is very good at being elusive, but I’m very good at being persistent.” He smiled wryly and rose from his chair. “Now if you’ll both excuse me, I need to get to the hospital.”

“I’m going to talk to Bella,” I said, rising also. “Let her know what’s going on.”

 _“We’re_ going to talk to Bella,” Jacob corrected me, as he followed me out the door.

As we made our way up the stairs we heard loud laughter coming from Bella’s room. 

_**Wonder what’s so funny?** _

I glanced at Jacob and smiled. After Carlisle’s good news I was feeling much more optimistic. I listened in on the quiet conversation in Bella’s room, then chuckled aloud. “Bella’s telling Seth the joke about the three vampires who walked into a bar for a drink.” 

“Haven’t heard that one,” Jacob commented. “I’ll have to get her to tell it to me later.”

“She’d like that,” I said, as we arrived at her door.

I knocked on the jamb and then went in with Jacob close on my heels. Bella was sitting up against the headboard; Seth was sprawled out in the chair with his feet propped up on the bed. The atmosphere in the room was as warm as the sun that was now streaming through the windows.

Bella was smiling, and just the sight of seeing her so happy filled me with more love than my heart could contain. I wanted to sweep her off the bed and into my arms, whisk her off to our cottage and make love to her for the rest of the day and into the night. Instead, I had to settle for sitting beside her and holding her hand.

Jacob turned to Seth and raised his eyebrows at him. “Don’t you have something you need to be doing?” I assumed he was referring to Seth taking his turn at running the perimeter of our property.

“That’s already being taken care of. I’m staying right here,” he answered adamantly. Both Jacob and I were a little surprised at the dogged stubbornness we heard in Seth’s answer. Jacob just silently nodded, but his thoughts weren’t as calm. Seth was definitely going to get his ears cuffed later on in private.

“We have good news, Bella,” I interjected quickly, before things with Jacob and Seth could escalate. “Carlisle got the results of your blood work, and it seems you’re extremely anemic. Since the baby is part vampire, it’s apparently using your blood supply for food.” I went on to explain everything about the blood transfusion and the intravenous feeding we would do afterwards to help with her nutritional deficiencies. I squeezed her fingers that were interlaced with mine, and smiled. “By tomorrow evening, you should be feeling much better.”

I heard a big mental sigh of relief in Seth’s thoughts, and Bella was finally showing some optimism, as well.

“Everything’s going to be okay, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement of fact as Bella now saw things.

I felt like a great weight had just been lifted off of my shoulders; my heart felt light enough to fly.

“Yes, love. I believe it is,” I answered with an even wider smile.

 

 


	15. Keeping Bella Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is getting to the point where I care less and less about SM’s canon. So, leave behind the familiar and get used to things being very different from the original Breaking Dawn. Don’t get bogged down in details. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Just go along on the ride with me. It’s a totally different road I’m taking.

_**(Day 8 in Forks – Bella: approx. 28 weeks)** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

The transfusion went smoothly with Bella exhibiting no side effects. Carlisle was pleased with her newfound energy, but still insisted she rest for awhile afterward. He decided to let her try eating on her own once more before administering the TPN. She’d eaten lunch not long ago and we were all waiting anxiously to see if she’d keep it down.

Everyone had stopped by her room for a short visit after it was all over. First Esme, then Alice and Jasper, and finally Emmett had wandered in. He’d informed us that Rose was finishing up a project in the garage and would join them shortly. In a matter of minutes, Em had Bella smiling with his teasing.

**_BETA MY ASS!! No fucking way in HELL!!!_ **

The obscenities continued unabated as Jacob’s angry thoughts blasted into my head with the force of a raging hurricane, overpowering everything else around me. I estimated him to be a hundred yards from the house and approaching fast. I needed to intercept him before he managed to race up the stairs and upset Bella.

“I’ll be right back, love.” I kissed her forehead, then glanced at Emmett. His eyebrows rose in question. He’d obviously heard Jacob approaching the house, but I was the only one to get the privilege of a front row seat inside his head. This was one of those times when thought-reading was really annoying.

“What’s wrong?” Bella’s smile disappeared, replaced by a small frown. _Not acceptable._

“I’m going to go speak to Carlisle. If you keep your food down, I’m hoping he’ll let us go home.” Just the thought of having our privacy back brought a small smile to both our faces.

_**What the hell is she thinking?? No fucking way in FUCKING HELL!!** _

“I’ll be back in a little while, love. If you need me just say my name.” With a smile and another kiss, I made a quick exit and hurried down the stairs. I intercepted Jacob at the foyer just as Esme was welcoming him inside.

“He’s here to see me.” Esme glanced my way, careful to hide the alarm I heard in her thoughts. Despite her concern, she quickly disappeared from the room, leaving me and a livid Jacob standing just inside the front entryway.

“Somehow I find it difficult to believe that the Greek alphabet has you so upset. Beta?? What’s this about?” I listened to his thoughts and it didn’t take long to realize this was pack business, and something I did not need to be involved in.

“The woman has some gall, insisting to be my beta, like it’s her God-given right or something!” He slammed his fist into the palm of his other hand. “I need to hit something!”

At that moment, Rose breezed through the living room on her way upstairs to see Bella. “If you’re looking for a punching bag, I’m game. Of course, you’d break every bone in your puny little paw but, oh well. That’s what happens to little Chihuahuas who nip at people’s ankles.” She shrugged and grinned evilly at Jacob, without even breaking her stride.

Jacob glared at her. “What's the difference between a blonde and a blow-up doll, Rosalie?” She made a sound of disdain and started up the stairs. “Two cans of hair spray,” he answered, snickering. She disappeared up the stairs and around the corner without comment.

I struggled to keep my composure, but Jacob caught me. He chuckled. “You almost smiled. Don’t even bother denying it. I saw your mouth twitch.”

“That _was_ pretty funny, but what’s going on with Leah?”

Just like that, his anger was back, as evidenced by the run-on sentence that followed. “She’s practically appointed herself my beta! My second in command! Like I need one! I don’t even want to be an Alpha and now I have a beta? And a whiny one at that!! I swear to God, I want to kill her at least twice a day! Who the hell does she think she is? If I have to listen to her bitch about Sam dumping her one more time, I’m going to bite a chunk out of her ass and kick her back across the treaty line! Who needs this shit? I have enough to deal with already with running this perimeter, and worrying about Bella, and worrying about Dad, and Seth is becoming a pain in the ass too, and to top it all off, worrying about what the pack’s going to do, and…”

“Jacob, stop,” I interrupted calmly. His rant came to an abrupt end. He raked his fingers through his short hair, causing it to poke out in all directions. The guy was a wreck. “Let’s go outside on the porch.”

I didn’t want Bella to hear him so upset, and was relieved when he agreed and followed me out the door. We ended up on the front steps, sitting side-by-side.

“We have to quit meeting like this, Jacob.” My mouth twitched in amusement at the irony of finding ourselves, once again, on these steps about to have a heart-to-heart.

“Don’t go thinking I’m your BFF or anything like that,” he muttered grumpily. “I just needed to blow off some steam and there’s no one around who could handle it except you. Believe me, if I could have found someone else, I would have.” He shook his head and rubbed hard at his eyes. “This Alpha stuff, it’s grating on my nerves.”

He made no attempt to hide his thoughts from me. I listened without comment to the disjointed ramblings inside his head and finally a picture began to form. Jacob had been thrust into a situation he had never wanted. I could relate. The responsibilities on his shoulders were overwhelming him. I could relate to that, too. The worry over his family and those he was obligated to protect was weighing heavily upon him. I could most definitely relate to that. And he was just so tired of hearing about Leah’s problems when he had his own to deal with.

“I mean, I get it that she loved him, and he dumped her, but it was the imprinting. The guy couldn’t control it. Emily and Sam love each other and there’s nothing she can do to change that. She needs to just get the hell over it and shut up about it!” he fumed in frustration.

I sat there for a few moments and thought about the wisdom of getting involved in this, but he was the one who’d come to me. I hadn’t asked him to dump all of his problems in my lap, as if I didn’t have enough of my own. So, as long as he was here…

“I would think that _you_ , of all people, would be more understanding of Leah’s feelings,” I offered quietly. I was treading on dangerous ground now, and opening up old wounds that were just starting to heal. “You know what it’s like to lose someone you love and not be able to do anything about it. You know the pain of that loss.”

My body tensed, ready for whatever violence might come at me from Jacob’s direction, but he surprised me. He actually took my comments into consideration. I listened with great sadness as he thought about all that had happened between the three of us. It was hard for me to sit there and play silent witness to his pain, and know that I was partly to blame for it.

“You’re right,” he said, sighing. “I should understand, but damn it, she doesn’t make it easy. She’s such a…” He stopped, but I heard the rest in his head.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t let her know you think she’s a drama queen.” I offered this sage advice with a quiet laugh. “She might rip off something more important than your leg.”

He turned my way and I was glad to see a reluctant smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “You’re just a regular Dr. Phil today, aren’t you?” We laughed at just how ridiculous that was: a vampire giving advice to a shape shifter whose sole purpose on earth was to kill said vampire. The irony never stopped with us.

“How’s Bella, by the way? How did the transfusion go?” 

I explained everything, and he was as relieved as I was at how things seemed to be turning out for the good, despite our initial fears. "I hope we’ll be back in the cottage by tonight. _If_ she keeps her food down, that is.”

He nodded to himself. “The cottage is inside the perimeter, but we’ll keep a closer eye on it anyway.” He sighed and stood. “I don’t think I’m in any shape to visit her. I’d just end up saying something stupid to upset her. Tell her I asked about her.”

“I will,” I answered, nodding.

“Oh, and tell her Seth said ‘hey’, too,” he added as an afterthought. He took a deep breath and let it out. “I think I’m going to go run for awhile, circle the property. See ya, and… thanks.”

Without another word, he sprinted off across the lawn and into the trees.

* * *

Bella’s laughter greeted me as I approached the door to her room. “Emmett, oh my God, that is so corny!” Apparently Em was running through his repertoire of vampire jokes, as if she hadn’t got enough of them from me on Isle Esme.

I leaned against the door jamb and drank in the sight of my wife. Her skin was flushed a normal shade of pink now, her smile radiant, and her small hands cradling her stomach as she laughed. Her heartbeat was steady and strong. She was vibrant and so very beautiful. She felt my eyes on her and lifted her gaze in my direction. For the first time in days, an intense rush of lust shot through me, a hard punch to my groin that reminded me of my need for my wife. I saw the same feelings in her eyes, as well.

Emmett chuckled. "Well, I’m just glad you’re stronger. Now I don’t have to worry about you tripping over your big toe.” Rose laughed along with him, and despite being the butt of his teasing, Bella laughed, too.

“It’s pretty hard to trip over your toe when everyone carries you around like a baby,” she replied, glaring playfully in my direction. “Just hope and pray Edward doesn’t trip while he’s got me all bundled up in his arms.”

“Vampires do not trip,” Emmett reminded her in his know-it-all voice.

She turned those sparkling brown eyes to me and grinned—the sweetest and most mischievous grin ever. “Edward does.”

Rose and Emmett looked at us both in astonishment. “Edward hasn’t tripped since I’ve known him,” Emmett said, frowning.

Bella and I locked eyes. Memories of Isle Esme flooded in: her in my arms, carrying her through the sand to the house, the kiss, so intense that it broke all of my vampire concentration and I actually tripped over my own feet.

“The sun was in my eyes,” I said softly, still holding her intense gaze. Not the sun, but something brighter: the most beautiful girl in the world, smiling brilliantly up at me and giggling as she’d teased me with her tongue.

“And the sand was deep,” she answered just as softly. I knew she was thinking about what had happened in our bedroom after our clumsy trip across the beach.

“Well, alrighty then.” Rose bolted up out of her seat and grabbed Emmett by the arm. “Time for us to…uh…change the oil in the Jeep. Right, Emmett?”

She dragged Emmett out of the room, and on the way out, he managed to get in a dig. “So that’s what they’re calling it these days?! Tripping?” He guffawed even as my fist connected with his shoulder. Their laughter followed them all the way down the hall and the stairs.

“I want to go home,” Bella said. She didn’t need to elaborate. We both knew what we wanted.

“So do I.”

* * *

 

Later that evening I carried Bella across the threshold of our cottage and set her feet down gently on the entryway rug. She’d kept down her lunch and her evening meal, so Carlisle had let me bring her home, with strict instructions to call him if anything changed.

She sighed and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Privacy, at last, and I know just what I’m going to do first.” She bit her lip and grinned. “I’m going to take a long shower. Just stand underneath the nozzle until the water runs cold. Want to join me?”

“I could use a shower,” I answered, grinning at the prospect of spending quality time with my wife in a hot and steamy room.

I followed her down the hall to the bathroom, mentioning how much I enjoyed the view. She giggled, which brought a smile to my face. All of the anxiety of the past days melted away with her laughter.

Our clothes fell to the bathroom floor in a crumpled pile and were immediately forgotten. The lushness of her body awakened the man in me. My need for her was an overwhelming force that was wreaking havoc with my control.

She stood under the hot water with her eyes closed, letting it cascade down her body. Her wet hair was plastered to her shoulders like a second, silky skin. I stood in front of her, drinking in her beauty and inhaling her sweet scent into my lungs. She turned her back to me and handed me the shampoo bottle over her shoulder. I washed her hair, and took my time doing it. It truly _did_ feel like silk between my fingers. Strawberries mixed with her scent filled the small enclosed space with a heady perfume. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself as my head began to swim. She helped me rinse, then turned back around to face me. Her warm brown eyes lifted to mine, and I fell into them, just like I had so many times since I’d met her.

“Edward… _Edward!”_ I popped out of the trance I’d fallen into to see her outstretched palm holding a bar of soap. “Are you all right?” A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. When I nodded, she handed me the soap and smiled. “I need a little help. Some spots are out of my reach now.”

I soaped up my hands and started at her feet. She giggled and wriggled her toes and as I rubbed soap bubbles in between them, then a slow sweep up her legs, inside and out. We both washed her stomach, our slick hands moving in slow circles across her tightly stretched skin. I focused in on the baby’s heartbeat. It was strong and steady, and I let Bella know. Her face glowed with happiness.

“I think you can reach the rest,” I murmured, offering her the soap.

“So can you.”

A moan slipped out of me at the thought of running my hands over her breasts. She smiled, then sighed as my soap-slicked hands began exploring. Her breasts were much fuller than before—soft and pliable beneath my fingers, filling my hands to overflowing. She commented on the fact that they must be very dirty, considering the amount of time I was taking to wash them, which made us both laugh.

Suddenly, she grabbed my face and pulled me to her mouth; she kissed me hard and deep. I longed to press my body against hers, but her stomach was in the way. I moved to the side slightly and managed to make some small satisfying contact.

“Is that the towel bar poking into my hip?” she asked, giggling in between kisses.

Bella’s heart was racing as we kissed. I was torn between worrying if that was good for her, and wanting to make it speed even faster. I decided to err on the side of caution. I tried to pull away from her, but she followed me as I backed away.

“Being pregnant makes me soooo….” She stopped and I could see her searching her mind for the right word.

“Amorous?” I suggested.

She laughed. “That’s a nice Edwardian way of putting it.” She grabbed the soap again. “You haven’t washed my back.”

We switched places. I was now standing underneath the water and she was facing the back wall of the shower. I pushed her hair off of her back and draped it across the front of her shoulders. I ran my soapy hands down her arms and across her shoulder blades. I followed the trail of her spine with my fingers, which made her visibly shiver. With my palms, I made slow circles all over her bottom and hips. When all was clean, I returned the soap to the tray.

“You missed a spot.” She glanced over her shoulder and gave me an extremely seductive smile.

Chill bumps rose all over me, despite standing under the warm water. I slid my hand between her thighs. I watched her eyelids flutter shut as my fingers gently explored her folds. A wetness coated my fingers that had nothing to do with the water on her skin. She was so aroused, and her scent was strong inside that enclosed space. I moaned. My head swam. I wanted inside of her. She seemed to sense my need. She bent over slightly and planted both palms on the tiled wall. She looked at me over her shoulder and nothing needed to be said between us; our eyes spoke a language all their own.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me. You never have.”

I stared down at the seductive hourglass shape of her body, which was spread out before me in such an inviting way. I’d never made love to her this way before. I was a little hesitant. “Is this comfortable for you?”

She laughed quietly. “It’s actually _more_ comfortable. My stomach doesn’t get in the way. Trust me, it’s all right.”

I caressed her hips, then slid slowly inside her. That feeling of being where I belonged overtook me. I moaned long and deep at the feel of my wife’s body, of her warmth completely surrounding me. I moved slowly, gently, stopping frequently to ask if she was all right, until she finally told me to just be quiet and get on with it. We both laughed at my over-protectiveness. It was stupid of me because our bodies were made for this; we fit together perfectly.

Her scent got stronger the closer we moved to the end, which sent my head spiraling with that pleasant dizziness I’d experienced at Isle Esme. I managed to continue the slow, steady rhythm we’d established without losing my balance this time. Not that Bella would have noticed. Her head was turned to the side, eyes closed, soft whimpers coming from her throat at every slow thrust.

The pressure was building fast in both of us. Her body was tight and I was so dizzy it was becoming harder to keep my focus. I sensed my release was going to be intense. I was definitely going to need an outlet for the “excesses”. I leaned over her and planted a palm on the tiles right above her hand. This slight change in position brought our bodies closer together and sent me deeper inside of her. That was all it took. Bella’s hoarse scream echoed inside the tiled stall. I didn’t have time to wonder if I’d hurt her before my orgasm slammed into me. The animal sounds that came out of my throat mixed with Bella’s. I continued to move inside of her until it was over, and we were both spent.

I tenderly pulled her upright and cuddled her back against my chest. I buried my face in her wet hair, kissed her neck and murmured my love to her as the now lukewarm water cascaded over us both.

“I needed that,” she whispered.

“I know. I needed it too.”

We held each other until the water got too cold for her. As we started to get out, Bella giggled and pointed at the back of the shower. “Look!”

I looked where she was pointing and laughed. The tile was cracked in the perfect shape of my handprint.

She chuckled. “It’s like when people put their hands in wet cement. ‘Edward was here’.” 

I helped her towel off and get dressed. I stood behind her and laid soft kisses along her shoulder as she tried to blow dry her hair. She laughed and pushed me away, telling me I was nothing but a nuisance, but I crept back when she wasn’t paying attention, sliding my arms around her stomach or rubbing her back. I turned the gas logs on high and slid underneath the covers with her. We cuddled as closely as we could and talked about nothing in particular.

“I love your family, but it’s so nice to be by ourselves again.”

I agreed with her, and then our conversation turned silly.

“Let me tell you this wolf joke that Seth told me the other day,” she said, grinning. “It’s soooo cute!”

I was more interested in the flushed glow on her face than I was in the joke, but forced myself to pay attention.

“Little Red Riding Hood was skipping down the road when she saw the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. ‘My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf,’ said Little Red Riding Hood. The surprised wolf jumped up and ran away! Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood saw the wolf again. This time he was crouched behind a tree stump.”

“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “Is it just me, or does the Big Bad Wolf bear a striking resemblance to Jacob? He was always skulking around and hiding behind stuff.”

She punched me playfully in the stomach. “Ouch!” she yelped, then laughed. “Behave and let me finish! ’My, what big ears you have Mr. Wolf,’ said Little Red Riding Hood. Again the foiled wolf jumped up and ran away.”

“Yep, definitely Jacob. It’s the big ears, and the running.” I snickered, which earned me a slap on the shoulder and a growl from Bella.

“About two miles down the road, Little Red Riding Hood saw the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. ‘My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf,’ taunted Little Red Riding Hood. With that the Big Bad Wolf jumped up and screamed, ‘Will you get lost! I'm trying to pee!’”

Bella howled with laughter as soon as she finished the punch line. I had to laugh with her, because it was actually pretty funny, and I’d not heard it before.

She chuckled. "Seth turned beet red at the end. He was so cute that day.” 

“Unfortunately, I now have a vision of Jacob in my head that will probably never go away.” I groaned. “I’m brain damaged for eternity!”

She pummeled me with a pillow until I begged for mercy. She collapsed back onto the bed and sighed. “I’m tired, but it’s a good tired, not that exhaustion I had before.”

“Quit trying to beat me up then, and just rest,” I said, laughing.

The heat in the room allowed me to wrap myself around her like a clinging vine, without her complaining of being cold. She laid her head against my shoulder and sighed in contentment. “You know what would make everything perfect?”

“What?”

“If I could see Charlie and share this with him.” Her deep sigh told me she knew it was probably an impossible wish.

"You know that's impossible, love," I said softly, then continued. "But Jacob had a pretty good suggestion, even though it wouldn't work."

"What?" 

“Well, Jacob said it was a shame we couldn't just tell him that we…accidentally got pregnant.” That sounded much better than Jacob’s “knocked up”.

Unfortunately, the difference in phrasing didn’t matter to Bella. Her face got dark as a thundercloud and those warm brown eyes of hers turned deadly as they glared down at me. “I. Am. Going. To. KILL HIM!” 

I waited a little while to give her time to process it, then cautiously ventured forth with my argument in support of Jacob’s suggestion. “It actually would have been a pretty good idea, if the timing had been right.” She glared at me, but said nothing, so I continued. “It would have worked.”

"Maybe," she acknowledged. "But thank God for bad timing then, because I can’t stand the thought of people thinking I had to get married. I married you because I loved you, not because of an accidental pregnancy.” She smiled sadly. “Even though it takes two, Charlie's going to be angrier at _you._ I just hate the thought of him thinking badly about you when you don’t deserve it.”

“I made an honest woman out of you first, so I could take care of my family the proper way. Surely that will count for something? I want you to be happy, Bella. I'd gladly let Charlie think me a cad if it would allow him to be part of all this. I know having him here would mean a great deal to you. I'm almost disappointed that I _didn't_ knock you up." She shot me an evil glare. "Jacob's words, not mine!" I added hastily. "If it were true, at least that way we would have something to tell Charlie that he'd actually believe.”

She snuggled in close to me again. “Well, I'm just glad it's not true. I love you, Edward."

“I love you, too,” I whispered against her hair.

As she fell asleep in my arms, I tried to imagine Charlie’s reaction. She was right. He was going to be livid no matter what we told him. I wished I could spare her the pain of it when he found out, but there was nothing I could do except focus on keeping her happy and healthy, no matter what I had to do to accomplish it.

 


	16. Nothing's Normal

_**(Day 9 in Forks – Bella: approx. 29 weeks)** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

All eyes in the room were focused on Carlisle's shiny black fountain pen, which was currently being used to poke dozens of tiny blue indentations into his desk blotter. He finally sighed and dropped the pen. He clasped his hands together and planted his forearms firmly on his desk.

"It was an admirable attempt to explain the unexplainable, Jacob," Carlisle said. "I'm thankful though, for my son's sake, that the timing was off. Edward would never put Bella in such an embarrassing position, and frankly, I wouldn't have agreed to the deception. I consider Charlie my friend."

Jacob shrugged, valiantly ignoring Bella's glare. "It was just a thought." _**And it would have been fun watching Charlie part your hair with a bullet.**_

I forced myself to ignore his dig. Jacob was so used to hating me, I supposed I couldn't fault him for occasionally slipping back into his old bad habits.

“Well, I might have a better idea,” Jacob offered hesitantly. He leaned forward eagerly in his chair. “What if me and Dad had a little talk with Charlie? You know, sort of eased him into the truth little-by-little. I could phase in front of him and he’d see that things in Forks are a little different than he’d thought. Problem solved!” Jacob grinned, slapped his thighs with his palms and leaned back again in his chair, completely satisfied with his solution.

The room went quiet. I listened in on Carlisle’s thoughts and he was actually giving Jacob’s suggestion serious consideration.

“What are you trying to do, give him a heart attack?!!” Bella launched into Jacob while Carlisle and I exchanged cautious glances across his desk. “I had time to get used to the idea that I wasn’t completely nuts, and you want to just go all wolf on him after one conversation?? He’d probably grab his gun and blast you off the face of the earth and I wouldn’t feel a bit sorry for you if he did!”

Jacob rolled his eyes and grinned. “You’re being melodramatic.”

 _Oh hell, Jacob. You did not just say that._  

Bella tensed; her mouth stuttered open, but before she could attack him again, Carlisle interrupted. “It’s actually quite an interesting idea, Bella. Charlie trusts Billy. If he were there to back up everything Jacob said, and if Charlie were adequately prepared for the news, it could work. Once one believed that a human could change into a wolf, it wouldn’t be much of a leap to believe in vampires. The problem with all of this is, should Charlie even be told about us? It would put him at risk, as you well know.”

“Only if that bunch in Italy knew that he knew,” Jacob pointed out smugly. “Don’t you think he’d keep quiet if he knew the danger, not just to him, but to Bella, too? He’s not stupid.”

We all agreed Jacob had a valid point. Charlie’s safety was always Bella’s paramount concern, but even she agreed that Charlie wouldn’t deliberately put her at risk by revealing our secret all over town. But the one big problem with the whole idea was that Jacob couldn’t cross the treaty line to talk to Billy, or leave our property to reveal himself to Charlie. Nor could Leah or Seth leave our property to act on his behalf, either. To do so would shift the balance of power and ultimately lead to an attack from the pack. Billy would never go against Sam and cross the treaty line to come here. Carlisle and I exchanged meaningful glances. We were thinking the same thing: we had no choice but to delay getting Charlie involved, but how were we going to convince Bella without telling her about the problems with the pack?

“Bella…” Carlisle had picked up his fountain pen again, and was now rubbing his thumb up and down the barrel. “As your doctor, I’m recommending we wait until after the baby is born to involve Charlie. Your health is very fragile right now. You need to avoid stress of any kind. Getting upset could harm you _and_ the child.”

“I agree,” I added reluctantly. Even though I knew how happy it would make Bella to have Charlie involved in this pregnancy, the timing just wasn’t right.

“Yep, me too, Bells,” Jacob added wisely. “We need to wait until things settle down. But after that, I think my idea will work.”

She sighed in defeat, and the sound of her disappointment tore at my heart. “It was just a thought,” she said quietly.

 

* * *

  
“I’m sorry, love. I wish we could work it out with Charlie, but it’s just not the right time.”

Bella and I were stretched out on the bed in my old bedroom. I’d suggested a visit so I could retrieve one of my journals. With Bella’s health improving, I suddenly felt an urge to pick up where I’d left off writing the week before the wedding. After reading all of the nonsense on the Internet about vampire/human relations, I now felt an obligation to write a factually accurate version of this unique event for posterity. I wasn’t sure who would end up reading it, or whether it was going to have a happy ending or a tragic one, but whatever happened I wanted the truth to be known. Bella agreed and supported my attempt to record our personal history.

“It’s all right.” She sighed. “It was just wishful thinking, anyway.” She turned her full attention to me and the journal I held poised in my hand. “You know, you should probably write this stuff on a computer and save it on a disk or something to preserve it.”

A computer? The mere thought of typing the stories of my life into a machine made me cringe. “I like writing longhand. I prefer it, actually. It seems more personal that way.” 

Instead of making fun of me for being behind-the-times, she smiled and sighed. She maneuvered herself onto her side and ruffled my hair with her fingers. “That’s one of the things I love about you. You’re not a man of this time, but of a time when men were gentlemen and courted the women they loved. While everyone else texts their girlfriends or wives, you leave me little notes all over the place. Your handwriting is so beautiful and elegant. You make me feel like a character out of a romance novel.”

It touched me to know she appreciated the old-fashioned man that I was. Girls of the present generation seemed so materialistic and shallow. Bella was different. I’d sensed that in her early on. She was a kindred soul who had been born into a time that was as ill-fitting for her as a too-tight dress. I’d been lucky to find her.

“I’m flattered you think that about me, but I have a small confession to make,” I admitted hesitantly.

Her eyebrows raised in curiosity. “Oh? What?”

“Since we’ve gotten married, I’ve changed a little. Well, quite a bit, actually." I chuckled. "I seem to have developed Mike Newton Syndrome.” 

She sputtered with laughter. "Mike Newton Syndrome??"

“Yes. I think highly inappropriate thoughts about you nearly every minute of the day. Don’t laugh. It’s a very disturbing condition. For example, right now I want to unbutton your blouse, slide my fingers underneath your bra and squeeze your breasts.”

“Hmmm.” Bella smiled mischievously. “Maybe you should treat this condition like doctors treat a phobia. To get better you have to immerse yourself in your symptoms, not run from them.”

Grinning, I began to slowly unbutton her blouse. “I like the sound of that diagnosis, my love.”

I pulled her against me with one arm wrapped around her shoulder, while my other hand worked at her shirt. In no time, it was gaped open almost to her waist and she’d raised her bra up over her breasts, saving me from having to crawl my fingers underneath it. I repeatedly ran my palm in gentle circles over each one, pausing to rub the ball of my thumb over her hardening peaks, then give each soft mound a tender squeeze.

And of course, that wasn’t enough. Bella’s tender sighs only spurred me on. I needed to taste her skin and draw the scent of her deep into my lungs. I pulled my arm out from around her shoulder and laid her back flat on the bed. I pushed aside her blouse until her breasts lay exposed before me—a feast of smooth, creamy skin just waiting for my lips. I planted tender kisses all around their edges, saving her nipples for last. Her fingers threaded into my hair and raised chill bumps all over my body when I finally pulled a pebbled nipple into my mouth.

_**Hey, Edward! You two had better be decent by the time I get there, because I have a surprise for you!** _

I uttered a foul curse at the sound of Alice’s sing-song thoughts in my head.

“Edward!” Bella gasped in shock. “What was that?? I didn’t even know you knew such words!”

“I should have known better to even try and show my own wife some affection in this damned house! Alice is on her way up here… _again!”_

Bella laughed, but hurriedly worked at the buttons of her blouse while I tugged at my jeans to try and mask the fact that I wanted my wife very badly. By the time Alice rapped twice on the door, then barged in, I was sitting on the edge of the bed, scowling, and Bella was beside me, closing the last of her buttons.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything important,” Alice said, grinning and flicking her eyes to my face, then Bella’s shirt.

“Oh no. Absolutely nothing important.” I grouched. “I was just about to—“

“—give me a breast exam,” Bella blurted out breathlessly. We both laughed at how stupid that sounded. We were married, for goodness sakes. We shouldn’t have to explain something that was perfectly normal.

Alice smiled brightly. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!” Before I could growl at her she thrust a small shopping bag at Bella. “I bought you something, and you really need it, or I wouldn’t have interrupted.”

Bella hesitantly accepted the bag. I think she was afraid to look in it. I leaned over and peered into it with her, wondering what Alice had splurged on this time: diamond studded diapers? Emerald encrusted bibs? Bella pulled out a thick book and laughed.

“Pregnancy for Dummies.” _How appropriate._

“Not that I’m saying you’re dummies, or anything like that, but you have to admit your knowledge in that area is a little lacking, and Edward doesn’t exactly have any titles on pregnancy in his book collection either. And frankly, Carlisle’s books on the subject are just plain boring,” she explained, grinning happily as Bella murmured her thanks. “For example,” she continued brightly. “Did you know that at 26 weeks your baby can hear external noises? That means that he or she can hear everything we’re saying right now. Isn’t that incredible?!”

Bella looked over at me, blank-faced for a moment, then she giggled. “So that means we’re going to have to watch what we say from now on. Right, Edward?”

I sighed and nodded, feeling as ashamed as a small child who’d let a dirty word slip out in front of his sainted mother. It was a little unnerving to know that everything we said and did could now be heard by whatever was growing inside of her.

“Bella, I need to talk to Edward for just a minute…alone.” _**It’s important or I wouldn’t ask, Edward.**_

“That’s fine.” Bella stood, book in hand, and started toward the door. “All of a sudden, I have an urge to spend some time in the nursery. You guys take your time.”

I offered to accompany her down the stairs but she refused.

“I’m fine. Really. I’m much stronger now. If I didn’t think I could do it, I would have you carry me down. When you get done will you come and sit with me?”

I promised her I would, and nervously sent her on her way with a kiss to her cheek. As soon as she was out of earshot, Alice pulled me to the bed. I shushed her before she could utter a word. I waited until I heard Bella make it safely down the stairs, then gave Alice my full attention.

“What have you got planned?” she asked in a conspiratorial tone, as if Bella could hear us from two floors down.

“Planned? What do you mean?”

Alice’s face fell and then immediately brightened. _Uh oh._ “Bella’s birthday is coming up and you have nothing planned?”

The earth shifted on its axis and threw me completely off balance when I realized that I’d forgotten all about it. In the midst of her sickness the date had completely slipped my mind. I supposed it would have occurred to me the moment I’d opened a journal and started to write the date at the top of the entry. Other than that, I would have continued on in blissful ignorance if it weren’t for a certain dark-haired pixie who never forgot anything that involved the possibility of a party.

“I…uh…forgot,” I admitted sheepishly. “I’ve been a little preoccupied of late.”

Alice visibly shivered at the thought of me forgetting one of the most important dates in Bella’s life. Almost immediately she got that bubbly, excited look she always got right before she steamrolled over everybody in her party-planning-path. “I’ll take care of everything!” she said, clapping her hands together in anticipation. “We’ll hire a caterer, and invite…oh wait…we can’t invite anyone else.” He face fell temporarily but it didn’t last long. “Well, we’ll invite Jacob and Seth and Leah. They can help eat the food. Music. We can hire a DJ, or—. No wait! A string quartet would be perfect!”

“Alice. No.” I stated simply, but firmly. “No. No party and I mean it.”

“Edward,” she whined. “This is a special birthday for her. It needs to be nice.”

“No. No party,” I said adamantly.

“Well what are you going to do? Rent a video and eat popcorn in front of the TV? I’ll seriously hurt you if you do that to Bella,” she said with a dark scowl.

I smiled fondly at my annoying yet adorable sister. She was a hopeless romantic, but I was no slouch in that area either. “Do you really think I’d do something like that? I’ll plan a special evening for her, don’t worry. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I’d rather it be just us, in our cottage…alone.”

Her entire body deflated; her small shoulders slumped with the weight of dejection. “Can’t I help? Just a little bit?”

I frowned at once again falling victim to Alice’s pitiful act. She just sounded so sad, and I couldn’t stand it. “I’m open to suggestions,” I ventured hesitantly.

She smiled, which eased my guilt, and we began tossing ideas back and forth. About five minutes into our brainstorming session, I stopped and smiled quizzically.

“What?” Alice asked curiously.

“Emmett is with Bella in the nursery. Wonder what that’s all about?”

Alice glared at me. “Quit being nosy and give them some privacy. Now, back to our planning.”

We plotted and planned for twenty more minutes until we finally figured out the perfect birthday celebration.

“I’m going to go sit with Bella for awhile in the nursery, and see what Emmett’s up to. Thank you, Alice. Even though you’re annoying, you’re a good sis to have around.”

She grinned when I planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. I left the room in a buoyant mood. Bella was going to love what we’d planned.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

I sat alone in the nursery with Alice’s unopened book on my lap. The room was so peaceful, the beige colors so calming. I loved the alcove with the crib. My gaze was continually drawn to it and to the tree mural with the birds’ nest resting on its boughs.

I was twenty-nine weeks along; our “baby bird” would soon make its appearance. Part of me couldn’t wait to get rid of the cumbersome stomach and the uncomfortable strain it was putting on my body, but another part of me wanted to be pregnant forever. As ridiculous as that sounded, even in my own mind, it still made me sad to visualize myself with a flat stomach, with no baby inside me. I could protect him or her as long as they stayed safe inside my body. Once born, so many things could happen that could hurt our child, things that I couldn’t control. It was a scary feeling.

I sighed and looked down at the book Alice’s had bought for us. It was actually one of the more useful gifts she’d given me. I wondered what she’d think if she knew I preferred it over the latest designer silk blouse. As I thumbed through it, stopping to read various passages that caught my eye, or illustrations that seemed interesting, I quickly came to the realization that Edward and I truly were pregnancy dummies. There were tons of things in that book neither one of us knew. Well, maybe Edward knew them, since he’d studied medicine, but I sure didn’t.

“Hey, Bella.”

I startled at the sound of someone else’s voice disturbing the quiet serenity of the nursery, then grinned when I saw who it was. “Emmett!” I blurted out in surprise. “Come in!” I shut the book and laid it on the floor. I patted the sofa cushion beside me, but he continued to stand just inside the doorway, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

“I feel like a bull in a china shop,” he said nervously. “This is actually the first time I’ve been in here.”

“You can’t hurt anything. Come here and sit down.” I patted the cushion again.

He finally gave in and maneuvered his large frame down onto the sofa beside me. He _did_ look a little out of place, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I’d seen so little of him since we’d gotten home from Isle Esme, and didn’t want to scare him away.

“Where have you been keeping yourself? I’ve hardly seen you at all since we got home, just that one afternoon when you and Rose sat with me.”

“I’ve been around,” he said with a shrug. He studied the room, his eyes moving over every detail. He grabbed one of the small lamb throw pillows near his arm and squeezed it gently between his large hands. “This is really nice,” he said, sounding surprised. “Rose was so excited about decorating it. That was the happiest I’d seen her in a very long time.”

“Well, they did a really good job. It’s perfect.”

The conversation thudded to a stop. _Well, this is awkward._ Emmett was usually so out-going with me, but now, as he sat beside me twirling the pillow between his hands, I could sense that he was uncomfortable.

“Want to hear a vampire joke?” I asked to jump-start the conversation.

He chuckled. “Sure. Hit me.”

“Okay, keep in mind that Seth told me this one. A panicked man rushed into the emergency room of a hospital shouting, ‘Doctor, doctor! I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire!’ Well, the doctor looked up from his clipboard and calmly told him to drink a glass of water. ‘Will that make me better?’ the man asked. The doctor said, ‘No, but I’ll be able to tell if your neck leaks.’ “

Emmett chuckled. “I have to hand it to Seth, that’s a pretty good one. It’s just corny enough to make it funny.” 

“He’s full of them, trust me. That’s all he did that day was tell me cheesy jokes.”

After several moments of more uncomfortable silence, Emmett finally turned to face me. He took a deep breath, then sighed. “I wanted to talk to you without everyone else around and now that I’m here…” He stopped and clasped his hands together between his legs. “Bella, I’ve picked at you a lot, kidded you about being clumsy, and made crude jokes about you and Edward, but I didn’t mean anything by it.”

His comment took me completely aback. “Well, of course you didn’t mean it. I know that,” I assured him. “I know you were just joking.”

“I just didn’t want you to think that I…that we…” He stuttered to a stop and grimaced in frustration. “Everyone in this house loves you deeply, me included. I just wanted you to know that. If something bad happened to you, Edward wouldn’t be the only one to fall apart. We all would. Even Jasper.”

I was speechless. I’d never really considered how Jasper and Emmett felt about me. They were Edward’s brothers, and didn’t really have a say in how he lived his life, or who he chose to live it with. I’d just assumed everything they’d done in the past was for Edward’s sake, not mine.

“That is so sweet of you to say. It means a lot to me. Thank you.”

“I’m just glad you’re better,” he continued. “I was really worried about you there for awhile. Rose, too. You have no idea what this baby means to her. I’ve never seen her so happy, not since the moment we first realized we loved each other. She’s always been the most beautiful woman in the world to me, but ever since the day you let her feel the baby move, she’s been absolutely radiant. I just wanted to thank you for being so kind to her. She’s been really ugly to you in the past, and I wouldn’t have blamed you at all if you’d told her where to get off.

“And this baby…” He stopped, as if to gather his thoughts, and when he resumed his voice was quivering. I’d never seen Emmett so emotional before. “Everyone in this house—and I mean every single one of us—wants this baby to be born, to be healthy, and for you to be okay. You and Edward have given our family such a beautiful gift with this pregnancy. You can’t even imagine what this child means to all of us.”

My heart melted. This hulking man who had seemed so scary the first time I’d laid eyes on him, had a tender heart and was as frightened about all of this as we were. On impulse, I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him as tightly as I could, considering my mountainous stomach that separated us. His thick, muscled arms folded tenderly around me and held me safe. The tears poured out of me and onto his t-shirt.

He pulled away in alarm. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I? God, I’m sorry!”

I swiped at my eyes and smiled at him through my tears. “No, you didn’t hurt me. Rose is so lucky to have you, Emmett. We all are. And I love every single one of you, too.”

It took me awhile to compose myself. He grabbed a box of Kleenex from the side table and fed me a constant supply. I blew my nose and laughed. What I thought was so funny, I had no idea. I was just happy. I was feeling more like my old self, Edward was more accepting of our child, Jacob and Edward weren’t trying to kill each other, and everyone in the Cullen house was so supportive and loving. The only dark spot in that happy picture was the absence of Charlie and Renee.

Then reality kicked me in the stomach,  _literally—_ a hard series of kicks that left me breathless and in pain. I gasped aloud without thinking. My hands flew to my stomach as the agonizing motion inside of me continued.

“Are you okay? Should I get Edward?”

I couldn’t get enough breath into my lungs to answer him.

“Edward!!” Emmett shouted, grabbing my hand. I moaned and squeezed his hard fist until my knuckles turned white.

In seconds, Edward was in the room, and Emmett was unceremoniously pushed aside. “Call Carlisle,” he ordered over his shoulder, then turned his attention to me. “Bella, what is it? Where are you hurting? Talk to me!!”

“It’s the baby,” I gasped breathlessly.

I watched in dismay as Edward’s eyes narrowed, and his expression darkened. _No, don’t blame our baby! This isn’t his fault!_

“Are you cramping?” he asked, his voice all business.

“No.” Actually, the pain was finally easing. The baby had evidently settled into another position and was now calm. “It’s going away. I think it was just the baby kicking. I’m not cramping, I promise. It wasn’t that kind of pain at all. I’m fine.” I continued to assure him everything was all right, and it was… _now._ The pain was completely gone. It was as if nothing had happened. It must have been the baby just doing what normal babies do.

By then, everyone who was home was crowded into the small nursery: Alice, Esme, and Emmett. Carlisle was at the hospital, of course, and I wasn’t sure where Jasper and Rose were.

“I’m fine, really,” I announced to the room. “The baby was just moving around, that’s all.”

After a long conversation with Carlisle on the speaker phone, it was determined by my doctor that the baby had been engaging in some rather forceful kicking. I wasn’t having a miscarriage, or going into early labor, but Carlisle informed us before he disconnected that he was leaving the hospital as soon as possible to come home and give me a thorough exam. Sighs of relief swept through the room, all except for Edward. His eyes were full of fear again.

“I think you’ve got yourself a little boy there, Edward.” Emmett, bless his heart, was trying to lighten up the room. “A future field goal kicker for the NFL.”

Everyone laughed except Edward. “You should lie down and rest now,” he said.

My temper flared and what fueled it wasn’t anger, but fear at Edward’s reaction. “No, I’m not lying down! I’m not tired, and this is nothing for you to get upset about.” I leaned forward and pointed at the pregnancy book in the floor. “Read the book. Kicking is normal, and it hurts sometimes. There’s no way to avoid it.” Tears stung my eyes. Edward was emotionally pulling away from the baby again. I could feel it.

“Maybe we should leave you two alone,” Esme suggested softly.

Everyone filed quietly from the room, leaving me crying on the sofa and Edward sitting beside me with his head hung so low I couldn’t see his face. “Edward, I’m sorry I yelled at you, but please don’t blame the baby for this. Please.” I rifled my fingers through his hair, but got no response from him. “This is perfectly normal. It says so in the book,” I added in an attempt to reassure him.

“Nothing about this situation is normal,” he said, finally raising his head.

I took his face between both my hands and forced him to look at me. “We only have eight more days of this. That book said a pregnancy was considered term at 37 weeks. That’s eight days from now, and then all this will be over. You can’t back away from me now, not when we’re this close. Can’t you just hang on with me for eight more days?” I pleaded softly.

A horrified look swept over his face. “I’m not backing away from you. I would never do that to you. I just can’t stand seeing you in pain.”

I tugged at his shirt. He took my hint and gathered me lovingly against his chest. I tucked my head under his chin. The alluring smell of his breath filtered down into my nose, and bathed my body in a blanket of security.

“Just eight more days, Edward.”

 

 


	17. A Conversation With Jasper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short outtake I submitted for a writing challenge. Bella has already had a very touching conversation with Emmett in the previous chapter, so I felt it was time to explore Jasper's feelings. As this scene begins, Bella is days away from delivering her baby, and is visiting the Cullen house while Edward, Carlisle, Rose and Alice are gone hunting. Emmett, Jasper and Esme have stayed behind at the house to guard Bella against an attack from the pack.

**~ BELLA ~**

Emmett and Jasper were hunched over the chessboard, both deep in thought. I’d never seen Emmett play chess. I’d had no idea he even could.

“Hey, Bella.” Emmett acknowledged my presence in the room without even looking up from the board. Jasper turned and winked conspiratorially in my direction, then grinned. Emmett moved one of his pieces and Jasper’s grin widened.

“Check mate!” Jasper announced victoriously as he moved one of his pieces in front of Emmett’s. “Your king bites the dust… _again!”_

Emmett snarled in frustration. “Edward’s right. You cheat.”

Jasper and I both laughed as Emmett shot up from the chess table.

“Hey, don’t be such a sore loser. Let’s play another one, little brother,” Jasper suggested. “The more you play, the more you’ll improve.”

Emmett snarled his lip in response to Jasper’s teasing. “No thanks,” he muttered. “I have a 'honey-do' list a mile long, and I’d better have at least one thing done before Rose gets back.” He murmured his goodbyes to me before stalking from the room like an angry bear.

Jasper gestured to Emmett’s empty chair. I sat down and smiled at him across the chessboard. “Do you really cheat?”

Jasper chuckled underneath his breath. “Only with Edward.”

I was shocked. “You do? You really cheat?”

He laughed. “Of course I do, but that’s because Edward cheats, too. He reads my every move in my thoughts, so I have to purposely think of the wrong moves, and if that doesn’t work, I sing Miley Cyrus songs in my head. He hates that.” Jasper snickered and began to reset the chess pieces. “I haven’t been married to a psychic all these years for nothing, you know. I’ve gotten some very helpful tips from my sneaky wife on how to deal with Edward’s gift.”

“Does he know you think the wrong moves?”

Jasper shrugged. “Oh, I’m sure he does, but that doesn’t stop his relentless pursuit of victory. It still eludes him, by the way. I’m undefeated,” he said with a self-satisfied smirk.

“When I was a little girl, Charlie and I used to play checkers. He told me once he occasionally let me win, that it was good for a person’s confidence and self-esteem,” I said, hinting rather obviously that Jasper should also let Edward win one every now and then.

He snickered again. “I don’t care about Edward’s self-esteem. I just love to watch him squirm. Do you play?”

“Yeah, but I’m not very good,” I answered. “And even if I was, I’d never be dumb enough to play _you_. What was Emmett thinking?”

We laughed quietly and began putting up the chess pieces. I pushed them across the board, while Jasper meticulously fitted them into their appropriate felt-lined compartments in the storage box.

“How are you feeling since the transfusion?” he asked suddenly, without meeting my gaze.

I was a little taken aback by his question. Jasper had been nothing but a shadowy presence since we’d returned from our honeymoon. He’d always faded into the background, especially whenever I’d been in the room. Frankly, it surprised me we were actually having a conversation.

“I’m much better. It really helped. I’m feeling more like my old self. Now if I could only convince this baby that he shouldn’t try to kick a one-hundred-yard field goal inside my stomach, I’d be perfect.”

“It’s good to hear your health has improved. I was worried,” he said quietly, his eyes still fixed on the pieces he was slowing putting away.

Jasper had been worried about me? Just the idea left me at a momentary loss for words. He was so quiet and controlled I often found it hard to tell what he thought about anything, let alone what he thought about _me._ I took a deep breath and asked him the one question I burned to know the answer to, the taboo topic no one ever wanted to address.

“I’m in this house quite a lot. Is that difficult for you?”

His hand stopped in mid-air, then after a short pause, resumed its journey to the storage box. He took his time and gently pushed the chess piece into place. He raised his eyes to mine. They were dark; not black, but dark enough to tell me he needed to hunt.

“No. I think it’s actually helping me to have you around so much. I’m slowly becoming acclimated, for want of a better word. I’m finding I no longer think of you as food.” To my relief, he smiled after that last statement.

I laughed nervously. “I guess it’s kind of like working at a pizza joint. You smell pizza all day long and the last thing you want for dinner when you get off work is pizza.”

He smiled and nodded in agreement, then our conversation stopped. The awkwardness started to creep in as the silence between us dragged on. He had one last chess piece to put in the box, but instead he held it between his fingers and stared at it for the longest time. Finally, he turned his attention away from the marble piece in his hand and looked up at me. His dark eyes softened.

“I wonder sometimes if you realize just how much you’ve changed all of our lives,” he mused softly. “Especially mine.”

I’d changed Jasper’s life?? My mouth stuttered open, but nothing came out. I didn’t know how to respond to his confession.

“You look shocked,” he said, sounding a little surprised by my reaction. “Do you really think Edward was the only one affected? You’ve changed every one of us. You’ve helped us discover something truly wonderful about ourselves we would have never known if you hadn’t come into our lives.”

He offered no further explanation. What had I done? How could I, klutzy Bella with the ordinary, boring life of a human, have changed seven outrageously beautiful vampires, all of whom had lived longer and experienced more in their lives than I ever would?

“Do you remember the story I told you about my time with Maria?” he asked, as he slowly twirled the lone chess piece between his fingers.

I nodded, wondering why he’d suddenly changed the subject. What did his time with Maria have to do with my affect on their lives?

“My job, if you recall, was to kill the newborns who’d outlived their usefulness. I was good at it—a swift, strong killer who could dispatch a newborn with ease. In the beginning, I performed my duties with enthusiasm, because I liked pleasing her, but after awhile the killing started to depress me.

“One evening, I was given the order to get rid of one of the more troublesome newborns. He fought me viciously. His strength was waning, but his determination to live was still very strong. He was responsible for quite a few of the scars that are scattered all over my body. I won, of course, but his death at my hands was brutal—one of the worst murders I’ve ever committed.”

He stopped speaking and stared off into the distance. I wondered if he was reliving that horrible scene in his mind, and I was also still perplexed at how any of this had to do with me.

“After it was all over, we retreated into the barn. The rest of the newborns grouped themselves together in one end, and I sat alone at the other. I’d allowed them to witness the killing and, as a result, they were very wary of me. Normally that would have pleased me, but on that particular evening it had the opposite effect. I started to wonder, as I sat in that stale, dirty straw with their fear and anger enveloping me like a thick cloud, what had happened to the Jasper Whitlock who had lied just so he could join the military and do something honorable with his life. Where was that man who had been so proud of his service and accomplishments?

“Then, out of nowhere, this tiny bird swooped down out of the rafters and flew across the length of the barn. It chirped, then flew back the way it had come. I knew it had to be lost, perhaps a baby even, because no intelligent creature would have made a home inside a barn that was regularly filled with vampires. It had to have flown in through an open door and become trapped inside. I was mesmerized by that little bird. I watched it fly back and forth until, quite unexpectedly, it landed near my feet. I went completely still and observed it as it hopped around and pecked at seeds hidden in the straw. Once it even hopped across my boot.

“I became obsessed with that tiny bird to the point that I wondered if I could hold it in my hand. Was there any gentleness left in me? Could I hold such a fragile creature without crushing it? At the time, I really didn’t know if I could do it. I had become such a monster I doubted there was any tenderness left in me.”

He stopped speaking again and looked down at the chess piece in his hand. He wrapped his fingers around it like it was the bird in his story. He cradled it gently and stroked his thumb up and down the smooth marble side.

“As soon as it hopped close enough, I grabbed it. I held its feet in between two of my fingers so it couldn’t fly away. I nestled it gently in my fist and just held it for a long time. It was terrified. Its tiny heart beat wildly the entire time, but I didn’t crush it, Bella. I could have so easily, but I didn’t. The fact that I could safely hold that baby bird in my hand showed me there was a small bit of Jasper Whitlock left inside of the monster Maria had created. I knew at that moment I had to leave her or I’d lose what little tenderness I had left.”

He stopped again, and this time it didn’t appear he was going to continue. I waited to make sure he was finished before I asked the obvious question. “What does this have to do with me? I don’t understand.”

He seemed surprised once again. He placed the last chess piece he’d been holding into the storage box and closed the lid. “Don’t you see? You’re this family’s baby bird.”

He waited a few moments for the meaning of that to sink in, and when it did, the tears welled up and stung my eyes.

“None of us, except for possibly Carlisle, had any idea if we could hold that little bird in our hands without crushing it—not even Edward, as much as he loved you. But over time, and even though one of us almost did the unthinkable,“ he hesitated, sighed, then continued, “we came to discover that we weren’t complete monsters.  We had enough gentleness left in us to embrace our little bird and not hurt her. You have no idea what an enormous gift that was.”

The tears I’d been fighting back finally poured out of me. A sob escaped before I could clamp my hand over my mouth. “Oh, Jasper!” I gulped, as the tears streamed down my face. “Can I hug you?”

I saw him stiffen, but then a steely determination came into his eyes. He nodded and rose from his seat just as I made it into his arms. My stomach got in our way, of course, but somehow he managed to wrap his strong arms around my back and hold me as I cried.

“Thank you for telling me that.”

“You’re so very welcome, Bella,” he said softly.

 


	18. Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to include the scene where Jake, Leah and Seth meet with Jared on the perimeter (BD, pgs. 255-64); however the scene as I wrote it hardly resembles Stephenie Meyer’s version at all, except for her dialogue, which I borrowed without her permission.

_**(Day 9 in Forks – Bella 29 weeks)** _

**~ EDWARD ~**

“Where are Alice and Rosalie?” Carlisle asked, as he stepped out of the brush and into the small clearing. “We need to get back as soon as possible.”

I focused my hearing in the general direction they’d gone when the four of us had split up to hunt. “They’re moving this way,” I answered. “But we have a few minutes to talk.”

Carlisle immediately tried to block his thoughts from me by going through a highly detailed step-by-step review of how to administer a Central Venous Catheterization during an emergency, using the Subclavian Approach.

“Carlisle…” He stopped in the middle of reciting the long list of necessary supplies and sighed aloud. “I don’t like what I’m hearing,” I said gently. “And I’m not talking about subclavian catheterization.”

 _ **I’m sorry,**_ he thought simply, then switched his thoughts to our surroundings: the towering trees, the spongy forest floor, and the beauty of the dappled mid-afternoon sunlight leaking through the canopy and onto the leaves.

“No one—certainly not Bella and I—would ever blame you if something happened,” I continued, ignoring his silent Travel Channel commentary of the Washington forest.

 ** _I would blame me,_** he thought, darting his eyes sharply to mine.

I’d never seen Carlisle so uncertain when it came to anything medical-related. In the last few days, I’d heard doubts in his mind about his abilities, and so many different medical scenarios regarding Bella’s pregnancy that it had become dizzying to keep up. He was second-guessing every decision he made.

“You’ve never encountered anything like this. None of us have. It’s understandable you’d question your decisions.”

 _ **True,**_ he conceded. **_But it’s still imperative I make the right ones, because Bella is carrying your child, ours, Charlie and Renee’s grandchild, and everyone else in this family’s niece or nephew. There’s a great deal at stake here, and I cannot afford to make even ONE bad decision._**

“Let’s talk it out when we get home,” I suggested. “Let’s sit down in your office and go over everything together, and reason our way through it all. We’ll look at every scenario and every possible thing that could go wrong and plan for it. You’re not alone. Between the two of us, we can get Bella through this.”

His eyes softened; he even managed a weak smile. _**That’s a very good idea. Thank you.**_

Alice and Rose emerged from the undergrowth and into the clearing. Alice was curious about mine and Carlisle’s conversation, but she didn’t press for details. Rose was wondering if Emmett had gotten his list of chores done. Of course, my thoughts were always of Bella and her safety.

“Is everything all right at home?” I asked Alice.

Her face went blank for a few moments, then she refocused her attention on me and giggled. “Yes.”

I raised an eyebrow in question, but she immediately blocked her thoughts from me with the lyrics of yet another horrendous Miley Cyrus song. I growled in annoyance.

“You’ll see,” she said, grinning.

* * *

 

We hadn’t been in the house thirty seconds before I heard a loud pop followed by two equally loud shrieks coming from the kitchen. _Bella!_ I heard Alice’s giggles as I sprinted toward the archway leading into the kitchen. Everyone else was behind me in a matter of moments. Alice giggled again. Emmett guffawed behind me, then everyone else started tittering, as well. I tried very hard not to laugh. I really did. Bella and Esme were standing near the stove, splattered from head to toe in some sort of brown muck, their mouths wide open in shock. Bella finally realized the whole Cullen clan was hovering just inside the room and laughing quietly. Very soon, she and Esme dissolved into laughter with the rest of us.

“Uh, I wanted some beans,” Bella managed to say in between giggles.

“And I had this pressure cooker I’d never used, of course,” Esme explained, gesturing to a huge silver pot sitting on the stove eye.

“And, well, I’d never used one either, but it couldn’t be that hard, right?” Bella asked, looking over at Esme, who erupted into more giggles.

They both looked back at us with straight faces and wide eyes. “It blew up,” Bella stated simply, then sputtered with laughter again.

Blew up indeed. Brown goo and beans were everywhere: on the counters, the walls, the ceiling, and all over Bella and Esme, including in their hair. The smell was terrible.

“Bella, love,”I said, trying to sound serious and concerned without laughing. “You could have been hurt.”

“I guess you never thought about reading the directions, huh?” Emmett snickered behind me.

Bella sighed and grimaced.

“I’ll help Bella get cleaned up,” Alice said brightly. “Then we’ll get to work on cleaning this kitchen.”

Carlisle murmured, as he left, for me to meet him in his office. Esme tip-toed gingerly out of the room, dripping brown goo along the way. Alice and Bella stopped in front of me on their way out.

“Kiss?” Bella asked, offering me her bean-spattered cheek. She snickered at the sickly look that must have been on my face.

“I think I’ll go talk to Carlisle while you get cleaned up,” I said weakly.

* * *

  
“Cesarean section is our only option,” Carlisle stated. Medical books were strewn all over his desk, some open, some not. His computer was logged on to a medical site he often used for research and reference. He was speaking aloud so everyone in the house could hear our discussion. “We can’t let her go into labor. With the rapid progression of the pregnancy itself, I can only imagine how fast labor and delivery would go. We have to do a planned C-section well before labor starts, but not until the baby is viable. Timing is going to be very important.”

“I agree,” I said. “I would assume you’re going to go with an epidural?”

He nodded. “Most definitely. Although, I _am_ concerned about Bella being awake, just in case something…” He left the rest unfinished, but I heard it in his head:  _ **Goes wrong with the baby.**_ “But we have no choice. In her case, the risks of complications using general anesthesia are just too great.”

“Again, I agree.”

“It’s the procedure itself that concerns me, Edward,” he said with a sigh.  

I noticed he’d picked up his fountain pen and was stroking it absent-mindedly as he talked—a nervous habit I’d never seen before all of this happened, and a gesture that showed just how uncertain he was.

“The placenta is thick, that much we know, and probably as hard as our skin. A regular scalpel, or even a laser scalpel, won’t penetrate it,” he said, shaking his head and rubbing his pen.

Of course, I knew the perfect surgical instruments for the job. “My teeth would work,” I suggested hesitantly.

Carlisle flicked his eyes up to mine and grimaced. “I’ve already thought of that but, frankly, I’d like to avoid such barbaric methods if I can, especially since Bella will be awake during the procedure. Let’s put that in the 'last resort' column.” 

I nodded in agreement. 

He leaned back in his chair, deep in thought. “The tools used to perform brain surgery seem to be our only option: a bone drill to break through the placenta and make a starting incision, then a surgical bone saw to cut an opening just big enough to get the baby out. Of course, we’ll have to play it by ear with the amniotic sac, since we have no way of knowing its properties until we’re in. The tricky part is going to be keeping Bella’s vitals stable while the rest of the placenta is cut and extracted. I have no idea how long that will take.”

I heard the frustration in his voice at the uncertainty of the procedure, but there seemed to be no other alternatives. “I think you’ve planned for everything as well as you can,” I offered in support. In my opinion, he was over-thinking this, but then again, who was I to say anything? I over-thought everything, as I’d been told by my family many, many times.

He sighed. “But then there’s the matter of—“ He hesitated, then continued before I could pluck it out of his thoughts. “—forming a contingency plan in case everything that can go wrong, does.”

Bella’s death.

He leaned forward in his chair, planting his forearms on top of his desk. Looking straight at me, he asked the question I truly wished I didn’t have to answer. “Are you prepared,  _emotionally_ , to change Bella during the birth, if it becomes necessary?” 

I thought back to our time on Isle Esme and that night on the beach when Bella had told me exactly how she wanted to be changed. It had sounded so romantic when she’d described it: a last meal prepared by me, dancing, making love, then finally the bite that would bring me my last pleasure with her as a human. Bleeding to death on an operating table while giving birth to a…

I shook my head and refused to finish the thought. “It’s not how we planned it, but if I have to do it to save her life, I will,” I said firmly.

Carlisle nodded, satisfied with my answer. “Then perhaps we should harvest some of your venom, just in case. A direct injection to her heart would move things along much quicker than a single bite.”

“I think that’s a good—“ 

 

 _ **Incoming! At least three!**_ Seth’s voice slammed into my head out of nowhere.

 **Leah:** _I’m running the line back to Seth at the speed of light!_

 

“Edward,” Carlisle interrupted, but I shushed him with my hand.

“There’s something happening on the perimeter. Wait,” I said, focusing on the voices in my head.  
  


 **Jacob:** _Seth, do not challenge them. Wait for me._  
  


I listened, tense in my seat, as a series of commands and responses shot back and forth from Jacob to Seth and Leah.  
  


 **Seth:** _They’re coming. Slow. Walking. There’s four: three wolves and one man._

 

I heard some bickering between Seth and Leah over their positioning around Jacob. He must have gotten tired of it because Jacob blurted out suddenly: _I don’t care where you stand, just shut up and get ready!_

I heard the intruders’ identities as they revealed themselves to Jacob and his pack: Jared in human form; Paul, Quil and Collin in wolf form.  
  


 **Seth:** _Should I warn the Cullens?_

 **Jacob:** _No, that would just split us up and weaken us. Besides, the Cullens can probably hear us._

 **Jared:** _White flag of truce, Jake. We’re here to talk._  
  


Silence for a few moments, then Leah arrived. After that, a plea for trust from Jared. Apparently, Jacob and team were still in wolf form.  
  


 **Jared:** _It would be easier to talk if I could hear you, too._  
  


Silence.  
  


 **Jared:** _Okay, I guess I’ll just talk, then. Jake…we want you to come back._  
  


I listened to Jared explain how Sam had calmed down and was ready to take things slower and not take immediate action.

“It’s Jared, Paul, Quil and Collin,” I said, to fill Carlisle in on what I was hearing. “They’re not here to attack us. They're going to wait and reassess the situation once the baby is born. They’re trying to get Jacob to come back.”  
  


 **Leah:** _Translation: They’ve lost the element of surprise._

 

It wasn’t hard to miss the sarcasm in her thought, but Jacob wasn’t buying it. Even Leah called it “a load of crap.” I listened as Jacob apparently phased back into human form so he could argue a very valid point with Jared: that two Alphas couldn’t co-exist in the same place.

 

 **Jared:** _So you all are going to just hang out with the parasites for the rest of your lives?! This isn’t your home, and Leah and Seth shouldn’t have to live like this because of your choices._

 **Jacob:** _I’m not telling anyone what to do. They’re free to go or stay._

**Jared:** _Sam is sorry about what he did to you. He just wants you to come home._

**Jacob:** _Not now. We’ll see how things go._

 **Jared:** _Jake, I hoped I wouldn’t have to do this, but you’ve given me no choice. Sue is brokenhearted over Seth and Leah abandoning her and with their dad just recently dead. And, to top it all off, Billy is sick. All of you need to just come home._

 

I heard Seth’s whine and Jacob’s sharp intake of breath. He shot a barrage of questions at Jared: What was wrong? Was he in the hospital? Who was taking care of him? Was it serious??  
  


 **Jared:** _He’s not in the hospital. It’s not that serious. But these people are your family---and all of you should be there for them, not here protecting a bunch of leeches who mean nothing to you!_  
  


It saddened me to hear the anguish in Jacob’s thoughts as he fought an inner battle with himself. “Jared’s just told Jacob that Billy is sick—not serious, but still he’s letting them all know that their place is with their families, not here with us.”

Carlisle sighed. “I regret that Jacob is in this position, and Leah and Seth, too.”  
  


 **Jared:** _Leah, you know you don’t want to be here. Jake will protect Seth. Sam told me to beg. He told me to literally get down on my knees if I have to. He wants you home, Lee-Lee, where you belong._  
  


“Jared’s playing dirty,” I murmured to Carlisle. “I’m afraid it’s going to backfire on him, especially with Leah.”  I was right. Leah exploded, yowling and snarling at Jared. He was getting the wolf version of a good cursing out. Somehow, Jacob kept quiet until she was finished.  
  


**Leah:** _I’m through here._

**Jacob:** _Look, Jared. We’re still family, okay? We’ll get past the feud, but, until we do, you probably ought to stick to your land. Just so there aren’t misunderstandings. Nobody wants a family brawl._  
  


I listened as they made an agreement on signals to use in case they needed to talk to each other across the line. There were some questions about Embry and other family members, then the meeting broke up.  
  


 **Seth:** _I’m back on the perimeter, Jake. After I check on Leah._  
  


What I heard in Jacob’s thoughts after that made me tune out. He, and the rest of them, needed their privacy to deal with the decisions Jacob had just made. “Everything’s been resolved on friendly terms,” I informed Carlisle. “Jacob, Leah and Seth are staying here. They’ve agreed to communicate across the line without hostilities, and we can relax a little now.”

“That’s good to know,” he answered with relief. “We have more than enough to deal with here in the next several days, plus Jasper, Emmett and Esme still need to hunt.”

_“Where is she?!!”_

I heard the door downstairs slam back against the wall, then Leah screaming. Carlisle and I both shot up from our chairs and raced down the stairs to the living room. In the few moments it took for us to get there, it sounded like Leah was having a meltdown.

“There you are! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!! Do you ever think about how much you’ve hurt—and _continue_ to hurt—Jacob??! He’s separated from his family—we ALL are—and just so we can protect you and your fucking leech-baby!”

I assessed the situation as soon as I arrived. Bella was cowering on the living room sofa, mouth agape as Leah loomed over her, screaming. Everyone else was hovering around the edges of the room, at the ready, except for Rosalie: she was crouched into an attack stance and hissing.

“LEAH!!” I snarled. She whipped around to face me. “Get out! _NOW!!”_

“No leech tells me what to do!” she shouted angrily. “I only listen to Jake, and half the time he doesn’t hear a damn word anyone says because he has his head stuck up her ass!” She jerked her head toward Bella and glared at her. “And to beat it all, you don’t even love him!”

I glanced at Bella; there were tears forming in her eyes. Her hand was cupped over her mouth in an attempt to hold in her sobs, her other hand protectively on her stomach. In seconds I was in Leah’s space, towering over her and snarling threateningly. I heard Carlisle and Esme trying to calm me, and Rose hissing even louder, but I ignored them all and focused on the source of Bella’s current pain.

“Get. _OUT_ ,” I snapped, then growled low in my throat, my fists bunched up at my sides.

At that moment, Jacob crashed into the room. “Get away from her, Edward!” he snarled. _“Back off!!”_

I hesitated. The hate burning in Leah’s eyes hadn’t lessened, despite the threat of being surrounded by five angry and protective vampires.

“I said… _back off!!_ ” Jacob yelled. Then he was in my face with fire raging in his eyes, and Leah was gone out the door with Seth.

“She was out of line,” I snapped, the words barely making it out between my clenched teeth. “She upset Bella.”

“Yes, she was out of line,” he snapped back, his words just as tight and angry as mine. “But you do _not_ touch one of my pack! _I’ll_ handle this.”

He backed away, his eyes holding mine and communicating a clear message without me having to read his thoughts: we were allies and cautious friends, but there were still boundaries between us that were not to be crossed.

“I’m sorry, Bells,” he said softly as he backed out the door. “I’ll leave the explaining to you, Edward.”

Then he was gone. The tension in the room instantly dissipated. Everyone, except for Carlisle and Esme, relaxed out of their fighting stances. The only sound to be heard was Bella sobbing quietly. 

I sat down beside her and drew her close. “I’m sorry. Leah had no right to say those things to you.”

She pulled back from my arms and looked up at me with such sadness I felt my heart would break. I really wanted to hurt someone for this. “Is what Leah said true?” she asked, her voice shaky from crying. “Is Jake protecting me from something? Is that why he’s here all the time? And Seth, too?”

We’d tried so hard to keep it from her, but we had no choice now but to tell her everything: the pack’s threat to kill her and the baby, Jacob leaving and forming his own pack with Seth and Leah, the constant patrols, then finally the news that Sam had decided to wait until after the baby was born to ‘assess the situation’.

Bella said nothing for a long time after I’d finished explaining. With trembling hands, she pushed her still-damp hair back behind her ears. When she spoke, her voice sounded very small and broken. “Take me home."

I nodded and gathered her up into my arms.

Truth was a powerful weapon in the right hands. As I carried her in silence back to our cottage, I wondered just how much damage Leah had done, not only to Bella’s emotional stability, but also to her relationship with Jacob.

 


	19. Everything's Changed

_**(Day 9 in Forks – Bella 29 weeks)** _

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

“Bella…”

“I really don’t want to talk about it right now,” she said dejectedly. “All I want is a warm bath, then we can talk. Will you help me?”

“Of course, love.”

I started the water running, and draped a towel across the tub for her. I respected her wish to not discuss the scene back at the house, and silently helped her take off her clothes. But nothing could hold back the exclamation of horror that came out of my mouth when I saw her stomach mottled with purple bruises.

“You’re covered in bruises!”

“It’s normal,” she said without looking at me. “Babies kick and sometimes it hurts. Our baby is strong, so he leaves bruises when he moves. It’s not like he’s intentionally hurting me. He can’t help it.”

It wasn’t normal and she knew it. With every day that went by, this baby was hurting her more and more, and endangering her life with its instinctual will to survive. But after everything that had happened this evening, I decided to let it drop and not to add to her stress. I helped her into the tub and left her to bathe in privacy, as she requested, with the promise she’d call for me when she was finished.

I retreated to our bedroom, pulled a random book off the shelf, and settled into the rocker. I read for awhile but, even though my eyes saw the text, my brain refused to process it. Instead, I found myself reliving the scene back at the house, and spent the next several minutes second-guessing myself.

Was Bella upset with me? Was that why she didn’t want to talk? It was maddening not knowing but, based on the past, I could hazard a pretty good guess. She’d always hated it when Jacob and I had gotten in each other’s faces, even going so far as to proclaim herself “Switzerland”—not that that had helped. When it came to Bella, Jacob and I had never shown any respect for imaginary neutral boundaries.

And what about Jacob? How much damage had been done to our cautious friendship? We’d finally gotten to a point where we no longer wanted to kill each other after five minutes in a room together. Would we be able to get back to that point, once tempers cooled?

Also, I wondered if he realized what he’d said to me in his fit of anger: 'You do _not_ touch one of my pack.' _My pack._ Jacob was thinking and acting like an Alpha despite his wish not to be one—the mark of a true leader. Instead of being upset with him for snarling in my face, I found I admired his courage, and would even go so far as to say I was proud of him for stepping up and protecting what was his. As for Leah…

“I’m finished!” Bella called from the bathroom.

I pushed aside my thoughts on Leah and trotted down the hall to help Bella get ready for bed. Once she was dried, dressed in a nightgown, and comfortably tucked beneath the blankets, we were finally left with nothing to do but talk.

“It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Bella asked, sighing. “I’ve done nothing but hurt Jacob since I came here from Phoenix.”

I grasped her hand and squeezed gently. “Perhaps, but it wasn’t entirely your fault. None of us—me and Jacob included—were completely innocent in all of that. We all did our fair share of manipulating each other.”

“I know, but it was me who insisted on seeing him all the time, then we got really close when you…” Her voice trailed off into silence, but I completed her sentence in my mind:  _When you left._ “And then all that stuff that happened before the newborn fight with the kiss and...” She sighed again. “And now here he is again, involved in my life and separated from his family because of it. Leah’s right.”

“No one is twisting Jacob’s arm,” I insisted. “We didn’t ask him to come here. He made that decision all on his own based on what he knew in his heart was right, then Seth made the choice to come with him. No matter how guilty Leah tries to make you feel, she also chose to come here and be part of Jacob’s pack. We didn’t ask her to and neither did he. You have to remember that Leah has only seen one version of what’s happened, and that’s from the inside of Jacob’s head.” I grinned crookedly at her, hoping to make her smile. I succeeded.

“I can’t even imagine what that view must be like,” she said with a soft laugh and a roll of her eyes.

“Trust me, it’s no walk in the park,” I answered with a grin.

She growled playfully and jabbed me in the arm. “Be nice.”

“So, you’re not upset with me?” I asked hesitantly.

She frowned, then reached for me. “Come here, you.” I leaned in and she pulled me closer, giving me a soft kiss and then another. “No, I’m not upset with you. I thought at first you might have over-reacted just a teeny bit, but after I thought about it, I realized Leah was lucky to have gotten out of there with all of her limbs still attached. No, it’s you and Jake who worry me. I don’t want you two fighting again, and especially over me.”

“Actually, Jacob and I have talked a lot lately. He’s different than he used to be. More…mature?” I chuckled, then continued. “I think he’s finally come to terms with all of this, and he’s trying to accept things as they are, and put the past behind him, just like we are. All Leah did was open up an old wound that was nearly healed. Not the best idea in the world.”

“I wonder what Jake is thinking about all of this?” she mused softly.

“I don’t know,” I answered. “But, I don’t think I’d want to be in Leah Clearwater’s shoes right now.”

* * *

 

**~ JACOB ~**

“What in the fucking hell were you thinking?!!” My voice rang much too loud for the quiet forest, but I was past the point of caring whether I scared off every living creature within hearing distance.

“Jake, Leah didn’t mean to…”

I whipped around and barked an order. “Seth, get back to the perimeter! _NOW!”_

Thankfully he didn’t argue, but instead loped off in the general direction of the Cullens. I turned my attention back to my self-appointed Beta who apparently didn’t know her place. I planned on giving her a quick and dirty lesson on wolf hierarchy. She was still furious. Her dark brown eyes shot darts into my body from across the few feet that separated us. Her mouth was a long angry slash on her face.

“You had _no_  right to barge in there and say that to Bella!”

“I had _every_  right!” she yelled back angrily. “As your beta, I have the right to protect our pack, especially if our Alpha has his head stuck so far up someone’s ass he can’t even see daylight!!”

My fists involuntary curled into tight balls. “What goes on between me and Bella is none of your business!”

She laughed bitterly. “What goes on between you and Bella has been _everybody’s_ business since she blew into town! If it weren’t for her, none of this shit would even be happening right now!”

“You listen to me…” I closed the distance between us and loomed over her. To her credit, she didn’t give an inch, but instead glared up at me in defiance. _“I_ made the decision to come here and protect the Cullens. _ME!”_ I jabbed myself in the chest. “I did what was right, Leah. And if you think that it’s all right to kill innocent people—that it’s okay to kill Bella just to get at her baby—then just get your ass back across that line right now, because I don’t want you here!”

I backed off and glared at her, waiting for her to turn tail and run toward the line and back to La Push as fast as her legs would carry her, but she never moved.

“Well??” I asked after several moments of us staring at each other. “If you hate it so much, why aren’t you running like hell to get away from here?”

“I can’t go back there and you know it,” she said, her voice trembling, her eyes suddenly shiny with unshed tears. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Leah suddenly turning into a girl right before my eyes threw me completely off-balance. I knew how to handle a screaming, bitter and bitchy Leah, but a Leah on the verge of tears? I had no idea what to say.

“This is my last chance to have a place where I belong,” she continued, wiping angrily at her eyes and sniffing. “I don’t want to mess it up, like I did with Sam’s pack. But, Jacob, you have to understand we’ve been part of this… _thing_ …between you, Bella and Edward since it all started. We’ve watched it unfold through your thoughts. We’ve witnessed firsthand your pain at her hands, and there was nothing any of us could do about it. I guess when Jared said what he did about Mom, I just snapped. I’m so tired of all of this. I’m tired of everyone hurting. I want you to be happy for a change, and I want _me_ to be happy, too. I don’t think that will ever happen as long as you’re so involved in Bella’s life. Tell me, when is the last time you flirted with a girl, or went out on a date just to have fun?”

I shrugged and looked at the ground to avoid looking into her eyes. “I don’t know.” But I did know. I hadn’t seriously looked at another girl since Bella had moved back to Forks. Even after she’d married Edward, I still hadn’t been interested in getting back into the dating scene.

“You have to start cutting the ties to Bella, or you’re never going to have a life of your own.”

Finally, I got the courage to look at her. “You don’t understand. Bella was my friend long before I fell in love with her. We used to play together every summer when she came to visit Charlie. I can’t just turn my back on that friendship. I won’t do it. That wouldn't be fair to her.” I shrugged, shifted my gaze off to the side and kicked at the ground with my toe. “Besides, even if I wanted to date somebody, there’s no one around here interested in me. I’d have to leave the rez to even begin looking, and I don’t want to do that.”

It was at that moment that everything changed, because in those few seconds of silence, after I’d finished speaking, she closed the distance between us, took my face in her hands, and kissed me hard on the mouth. I was so shocked I didn’t react as quickly as I should have but, when I came to my senses, I pushed her away and staggered back away from her.

“Don’t do that!”I snapped, wiping the taste of her off of my mouth with my forearm.

“Why?” she asked, and I was stunned to see a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Because I don’t like you, that’s why!” 

She advanced slowly toward me. I backed away, matching her step-for -step, until I found myself pinned up against a huge tree. “I don’t like you either,” she said with a sigh.

Then her mouth was on mine again; it was warm and so soft.

I yanked myself back to reality and pulled away, jerking my face to the side in disgust. “I mean it, Leah!” I growled and grabbed her arms, pushing her away from me. “I want to choke the life out of you at least three times a day! Why in the hell would I want to kiss you?!”

She shrugged again and smiled. “I want to kick you in the balls three times a day, too. What’s that got to do with anything?”

She kissed me once more, and this time I didn’t push her away. I let her kiss me, just for curiosity’s sake, just to see if there was any life left in the empty shell that was Jacob Black. And surprise, surprise: there was. Her mouth molded to mine, and it felt like she belonged there, like we’d done this a million times before. She leaned into me, pressing her lush body up against mine, and it felt really good. I slid my arms around her waist and deepened the kiss. It had been a long time since I’d held someone in my arms who _wanted_ to be held, since I’d kissed someone who _wanted_ to be kissed and actually kissed me back.

When we finally broke apart, Leah apologized. “I’m sorry about what I said to Bella,” she said softly, stroking her palm down my cheek. “I really am, although the lee—, I mean, Edward, will probably never believe me. Everything just came to a head and I lost my temper.“

I cleared my throat and stood up straight. She backed up a couple of steps and stared nervously at some point just below my eyes. “Well, I think that’s something you need to eventually tell them. But not until after all of this is over, okay?”

She nodded. “So, can I stay?” she asked when she finally met my gaze. “As your beta?”

I sighed and raked my hand through my hair. “I suppose.” Then I realized how un-Alpha that sounded and quickly corrected myself. “If anything like what happened with Bella ever happens again, you’re out of my pack. Do. You. Understand?”

She straightened her spine and nodded. “I understand, and I promise you it won’t. I’m your beta, and I won’t step out of line again.”

I nodded, frowned, then gave the order for her to get back to running the perimeter. As she turned to leave, I called her name. “Leah…”

She glanced at me over her shoulder.

“About the other.” I rubbed a finger across my lip, which still tingled from our kiss. “We probably shouldn’t do that again, because…well...you know…Alphas and Betas don’t normally do that stuff.”

She surprised me by smiling. “You could always make me your Alpha _Female_. Then it would be perfectly acceptable.”

Before I could figure out what to say, she bounded off into the trees, leaving me alone and confused.

 

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

_**(Day 10 in Forks – Bella 30 weeks)** _

__

I stood at the head of the table and held Bella’s hand as Carlisle did his morning examination. He’d downplayed the bruising on her stomach by commenting that at least we knew the baby was strong and healthy. Bella had smiled in response while I’d practically bitten my tongue to keep quiet.

 _ **Strange.**_ I snapped to attention at hearing that one word in Carlisle’s thoughts.

“Has the baby been very active lately?” he asked, in what seemed to be an ordinary, routine question, but I knew better. Something was wrong.

“Actually, no,” Bella answered. “He’s been really quiet since yesterday morning.”

_**I’ve miscalculated, Edward.** _

We exchanged worried glances across Bella’s prone body.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, immediately picking up on the tension that had suddenly crept into the room.

Carlisle backed away a few steps and dropped the sheet back over Bella’s legs. “We seem to have miscalculated your due date. You’re starting to efface, meaning your cervix is thinning in preparation for labor. Right now, it’s very slight, but with the speed this pregnancy has been progressing, things could move along rather fast. So, I’d like for you to stay here for the time being, so I can check you every two hours.”

“It’s going to be sooner than eight days?” she asked, and it was impossible to miss the excitement in her voice.

“I can’t confirm that with any accuracy,” he answered. “All I can tell you for sure is that the process is beginning. I’ll get our hospital room ready.” He turned to me. “You've explained everything to her?”

“Yes, we talked about the C-section and epidural and all that,” Bella answered in my stead, gazing up at me, smiling and squeezing my hand even harder.

I smiled with her, but inside I was trembling. All of a sudden, this was becoming too real, too soon. Even though my logical mind already knew it was time, emotionally I wasn’t sure I was ready for the birth. Sometimes I just wanted to close my eyes, and when I opened them again, we’d be back in her bedroom at Charlie’s, trying to figure out how to kiss without me killing her. Things seemed so much simpler then.

Carlisle and I helped move Bella into the bedroom nearest to our makeshift hospital room. After she was settled in, Carlisle excused himself to call the hospital and let them know he’d be staying home the rest of the day. Meanwhile, Bella and I spent a quiet moment just holding hands, each of us immersed in our own private thoughts and fears of what we’d be facing in the next few days.

“Edward.” Bella tugged at my hand impatiently. I wondered how long she’d been trying to get my attention. I’d been so deeply in thought, running through all of the possibilities of what could happen to her, that I’d tuned everything out without realizing it.

“Yes, love. I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”

“I want to ask you something,” she said hesitantly. “And don’t get upset. Please?”

“I’ll try.” I chuckled softly and she laughed as well, because we both knew me and my tendency to overreact to anything that involved her health or safety.

She squeezed my hand and looking imploringly into my eyes. “If something goes wrong, promise me you’ll save the baby first, then me. Even though we didn’t plan on you changing me this way, if you have to do it to save me, then do it, but not until the baby is safe. Promise me, Edward.”

I choked down what I really wanted to say: that her life was more important to me than whatever she was carrying inside of her, that if it came down to her or it, I wouldn’t hesitate, I’d save her first. But Bella knew me better than anyone; she knew what I was thinking without having to ask.

“Edward,” she admonished me. “Promise me.”

Finally, I gave in to the inevitable. I nodded and squeezed her hand in return. “I promise.” And that was a promise I meant to keep. If Bella lived, but whatever was inside of her didn’t, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how she would deal with the loss. So, I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to ensure both of them lived through this, just for her sake alone.

I stretched out on the bed beside her, just like we used to do in her room back when I’d sneaked in to see her. We cuddled as close as we could, held hands, kissed occasionally and talked quietly about anything and everything. A hesitant knock on the door had us quickly pulling apart.

“Hey guys, can I come in?” a voice said through the door.

“Sure Seth, come on in,” Bella called out.

The door opened and a smiling Seth popped into the room. “Hey. Jake said I could come up for a little while and visit. Is that okay?”

We both nodded. Bella patted the bed beside her. Seth grinned and plopped down a little too hard. “Oops, sorry,” he said sheepishly when he saw my frown. “Hey Edward, Jake wants to talk to you out on the front porch.”

Bella’s eyes darted worriedly to mine. “No fighting and I mean it.”

Seth laughed. “Oh, it’s cool. Jake’s not mad; he just wants to talk to him.”

That was certainly good news, and very uncharacteristic behavior for our resident hot-headed wolf, especially where I was concerned.

“I’ll go see what he wants.” I leaned down and kissed her. “And I promise, I won’t kill him.”

She laughed and smacked at my arm. “Oooh, be NICE!”

I exited the room to the sound of Seth’s voice: “So, are you up for a really corny wolf joke?”

 

* * *

 

Despite Seth’s assurances that Jacob wasn’t angry with me, I approached the porch with caution, closing the front door behind me and not moving anywhere near where he was standing. Not that I was afraid of him, it was just I didn’t want to go back on my promise to Bella. There would be no fighting, not if I could help it.

“Edward.” He nodded his one-word greeting.

“Jacob.” I nodded in return. “You’re soaked. Do you need some dry clothes?” It had been raining all morning, and he'd apparently forgotten to carry an umbrella. I had to fight not to smile at the image that thought brought into my mind.

He shook his head and water droplets flew in every direction. “No thanks. A little water never hurt a wolf. Besides, I’m relieving Leah on the line in a little while anyway.”

An awkward silence fell between us, at least verbally. What I heard in his head, however, was a different story.

“She kissed you??” I asked incredulously.

He growled at me, his eyes angry and flashing. “Can you manage to stay the fuck out of my head for five minutes so we can have a normal conversation like everybody else on the planet?!!”

“Of course. Sorry,” I answered contritely, and immediately brought up a mental wall between us.

More awkward silence.

He sighed and looked off into the distance. “I wanted to let you know that Leah apologized to me for what she said. I advised her she should tell that to the both of you, but to wait until all of this is over. She also said you wouldn’t believe her, but I was there. Her apology was sincere.”

“All right,” I acknowledged. “If you say it was sincere then I trust your judgment. I’ll pass that along to Bella.”

He sighed again, this time really deeply, then exhaled in frustration. He crossed the porch in two long strides and practically fell into the glider. I took that as my cue to sit down next to him, on another chair, of course.

“How’s Bella?” he asked, pushing the glider backward and forward with one foot.

“She’s started effacing.”

He turned to me and scowled. “I don’t know what the hell that is. Speak English.”

I raised my eyebrows at his foul mood, but kept my suspicions as to the cause of it to myself. “Effacing is when the cervix thins. It’s measured by percentages, so when she’s 100% effaced then her cervix will start to dilate, signaling the onset of labor. But, we’re going to do a planned C-section before labor starts.”

“When’s this gonna happen?”

“Carlisle’s not sure, but as fast as everything else has progressed, we’re assuming very soon. We’re getting everything ready, and Jasper, Emmett and Esme are going hunting this afternoon.”

He nodded. “We’ll be extra vigilant, then. Although, after my conversation with Jared yesterday, I don’t think the pack is going to make a move until after the baby is born.”

“I know. I heard your conversation.”

He glanced sharply in my direction. “You can hear thoughts that far away??”

“Yes, if I’m very familiar with the people involved. And I have to say that Jared’s attempts to get you to come back to La Push were less than admirable.”

Jacob snorted in derision. “Yeah, that’s what set Leah off. Playing the guilt card was dirty, but Sam is desperate to get me back. Don’t ask me why, because two Alphas can’t rule a pack. One of us would have to give ground and, frankly, I’m not so sure I’d step aside this time. So, it’s best if I stay where I’m at right now.”

There was another long lag in conversation, where the only sounds to be heard were the squeak of the glider as he pushed it back and forth, and the steadily falling rain.

“Yeah, she kissed me,” he said suddenly, just out-of-the-blue. “And it caught me completely off-guard.”

I was treading on unfamiliar ground now. “So…is that a bad thing?” I asked hesitantly.

He laughed derisively and looked over at me. “It’s a good thing and a bad thing. Good because, well, it was nicer than I thought it would be, and bad because there’s no way in hell it could work between us, even if we tried.”

“Because you both regularly want to kill each other?” I asked, chuckling.

Jacob wasn’t amused. He glared at me, then turned away. “No. Because of this fucking imprinting thing. Leah isn’t my imprint, and if we tried to have a relationship and by chance made it work, then who’s to say one day I’d decide to stop at the gas station for a candy bar and a soda and end up imprinting at the checkout counter on some stranger?? I’m telling you, there’s no magic in this shit. It’s a curse. A wolf, especially an Alpha, should pick his own mate based on her strength and courage, as well as her attractiveness, not by some hocus-pocus random genetic thing.”

I didn’t know how to respond to Jacob’s anger, understandable as it was. Wolf genetics was a fascinating, but mystifying subject to both me and Carlisle. So, I kept silent. I didn’t think he expected a comment from me anyway, as he continued on without even drawing a breath.

“To tell you the truth—and I can’t believe I’m saying this to you—but I was an idiot to think I could ever have a life with Bella. I told her once she should pick me, because being with me would be as easy as breathing, but that was nothing but a lie. I can’t ever be with any woman as long as I have this imprinting thing hanging over my head. It’s like I have no control over my own life!”

When it was evident he wasn’t going to continue, I asked a question that had nagged at me since I’d first learned about this curious phenomenon called imprinting. “So, what are you supposed to do while you’re waiting to imprint? Do you date and hope nothing comes of it, or do you just…?” I stopped mid sentence when I realized what I was about to say, but unfortunately, Jacob picked up right where I left off.

“…stay a virgin forever?” he finished snidely, then snorted with laughter. “I don’t know how in the hell you did that, but _I’m_ not doing it. To hell with that celibacy shit.”

I ignored the virgin comment, since I’d dug that hole for myself, and instead made the next logical suggestion. “Maybe you should be telling Leah all of this, instead of me. You and she just need to sit down and talk about this together.”

“So you’re Dr. Phil again,” he answered, obvious annoyed at hearing my sound and logical advice. “It’s getting old, to tell you the truth.”

“Well, perhaps you should choose another confidant besides the vampire-you-love-to-hate,” I suggested smugly. “Then you wouldn’t have to listen to it.”

A long silence dragged on until he huffed in exasperation and shot up off of the glider. “My life is nothing but a mess. Tell Seth to get his butt back out on the line. See ya later.”

And with that, he leaped over the porch railing in a completely unnecessary dramatic fashion, and loped off into the pouring rain.

* * *

_**(Evening - Day 10 in Forks – Bella 30(?) weeks)** _

****

Carlisle’s latest examination had revealed no obvious forward progression of the effacement, so we’d decided to relax with a book before she fell asleep for the night. Bella was propped up on pillows and re-reading Romeo and Juliet for probably the hundredth time. I was sprawled out beside her re-reading Wuthering Heights, but only for the third time.

“I love this book,” she said with a deep, romantic sigh.

_**I love you.** _

I smiled and laid my book down on my lap. “I love you, too.”

She looked at me and frowned. “No, Edward. I said I love this _book,_ not you, although I do love you.” She smiled and returned to her reading. I frowned in confusion, but returned to my reading, as well.

_**I love you.** _

I dropped the book slowly to my lap. “Did you just say something?”

“No,” she said, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “Are you all right?”

_**Daddy. I love you.** _

I shot straight up into a sitting position, sending my book flying off of my lap and halfway across the room.

“Edward, what’s wrong!” Bella tossed her book to the side and sat up in alarm.

I hurriedly pushed the blankets off her body, sending them flying in every direction, until her stomach was exposed. I placed my hands gingerly onto her nightgown. “Hello?”

“Edward, what are you…? Then she got it. Her eyes widened the size of saucers, her mouth formed into an astonished “o”, then she let out a whimper of disbelief. “You can hear his thoughts??” she gasped.

“Yes,” I said, barely able to contain the joy filling up my heart. “He, or she, said ‘I love you’ twice and then ‘Daddy, I love you’ just now.”

Bella’s eyes filled with tears, then they began to spill down her cheeks. She laid her hands on top of mine and together we listened.

_**I love Mommy.** _

“He, or she, just said ‘I love Mommy’.”

“Oh, I love you, too sweetie.” Bella was crying and laughing at the same time. If I’d been human and could have shed tears, I would have been right there with her.

“Both of us love you,” I said, speaking to the child growing inside of her. Our child. _My_ child.

_**I love my Mommy and Daddy.** _

“He said, ‘I love my Mommy and Daddy’.”

The reality of what was happening finally dawned on me. After all of this time of wondering what we had created, of me calling what was inside of her an ‘it’ and wondering if the creature would be controllable or even intelligent, I finally had my answer.

“Bella.” I grinned, then whooped loudly. “We’re having a baby!”

She wiped at her face, and reached for me. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you since the beginning!”

I pulled her, laughing and crying, into my arms and held her.

“What’s going on?” Emmett’s booming voice echoed throughout the small bedroom.

We pulled apart and discovered every single Cullen hovering around the narrow doorway.

“I heard the baby’s thoughts,” I explained hurriedly. “He talked to me. He said he loved his Mommy and Daddy. He’s not going to be some uncontrollable newborn, some freak of nature born without the ability to reason.”

In the space of a few minutes, everything had changed. I smiled up at my family in utter joy. “Bella and I are having a baby.” 

 

 

 


	20. September 11th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just be forewarned. If you have your heart set on a bloody, gory birth scene like what appeared in SM’s version, you’re going to be sorely disappointed with this chapter. It was always my intention from the beginning to write a completely different Breaking Dawn: a kinder, gentler version. This birth scene is actually rather anticlimactic in my story, but it’s telling is still important. The manner of this birth serves as a crucial plot point to set up later events. Also, don’t look for anything familiar in this chapter, or in any future chapters. I’ve left Stephenie Meyer and her version of Breaking Dawn completely behind me now. It’s all OTB from here on out.

_**September 11, 2006** _

**~ JACOB ~**

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

I sat immobile on a dead stump and stared mutely at Leah’s bare calves. Just from the sound of her voice, I knew she probably had her hands on her hips and was most likely scowling down at me. I’d made a hasty exit from the Cullens and had immediately phased, thinking the adrenaline of speed would drown out the panic inside of my head. Just when I’d thought I was all cool with Bella and this pregnancy thing, Edward had pulled the rug out from under me with his announcement.

Damn, but I was sick of this shit. I wanted to be free of all of this. I felt constricted inside my own skin. I wanted to run and think. Leah had picked up my frantic thoughts, as well as my trail, as soon as I’d let my wolf burst free. Why couldn’t she just leave me the hell alone?

“Nothing’s wrong,” I muttered stubbornly.

“Don’t give me that macho ‘nothing’s wrong’ shit!” she snapped. “I’m your Beta and I deserve more than that from you! I caught a whiff of it before you phased back, so spit it out. What’s going on at the Cullens? Why were you in such a hurry to get out of there, and why did you come down so hard on Seth? What did he do?”

I sighed, shot up from the stump in anger and walked away from her, across the clearing as far as I could get without completely leaving. I didn’t want to talk about it, couldn’t she see that?? I just needed to rip up some trees or throw some boulders around for awhile and then I’d be okay. Maybe.

“I had to go all Alpha on Seth because he wouldn’t listen to a damned thing I said! I told him to get back on the line and he refused!”

I turned around just in time to see Leah’s mouth drop open, just like mine almost had when Seth had ignored my direct command. “He refused? Why??”

“Because he’s stuck on the Cullens like three coats of paint, that’s why!” I fumed. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him, Leah! He was completely defiant!”

“I’ll talk to him,” she said with quiet assurance, dropping her characteristic sarcasm. “I’ll try to find out what’s bothering him.”

I nodded, glad to hand the job of figuring out what was bugging Seth over to her. I’d hated having to come down on him so hard. Watching him literally tremble underneath the authority in my voice had hurt almost as badly as Edward’s news.

“So, what happened to cause all of this?” Leah asked. “Tell me. Maybe I can help.”

I sighed. She wasn’t going to give up. “They’re going to take the baby today. That female stuff I don’t understand, it all started to happen really fast last night—something about dilation. I don’t remember all of the junk Edward told me. All that really registered was that they’re going to do the C-section ASAP. They’re probably starting it right now, even as we speak.”

“Awww, how sweet. We’re going to have a new little blood-sucking leech running around and I wasn’t even invited to the baby shower.” Leah snorted in amusement. “What do they need? Bibs? Because, you know Alice would have an aneurism if it got blood all over those designer baby clothes. Or, I know! Maybe we should buy it a cast iron pacifier for those inconvenient times when there’s no bloody carcass lying around the kitchen.”

I glared at her, but managed to keep my temper in check. “Is that your idea of helping?” I shook my head in disgust. “I don’t need your sarcasm right now, so do us both a favor and lose the attitude. I don’t need you adding to the growing pile of shit at my feet. I have too many people doing that already. You’re my Beta. Why don’t you try acting like one?”

Her eyes darkened and narrowed dangerously. I’d pissed her off, but I was at the point I no longer cared. I’d had it up to my ass with her bitterness and spite. Enough already. It was time to move on or move out. We stared at each other in angry silence, neither one of us in any hurry to back down.

Finally, she took a deep breath and sighed. She raised her chin and bravely met my eyes. “You’re right,” she said finally. “I’m sorry. I’ll keep my opinions to myself from now on.”

At that moment, my respect for her increased tenfold. My pack wasn’t impressive by any means, not compared to Sam’s, and the loyalties within it were shaky at best, but things were slowly improving. Leah had potential if only she could let go of her baggage from the past. I wondered if she realized how beautiful she was when she wasn’t scowling and angry. I thought about telling her, but decided to leave that conversation for another day, for when things got back to normal. Of course, I had an inner sarcastic voice of my own that was howling with laughter at the thought. My life would never get back to normal.

“Thank you,” I conceded. “I appreciate it.”

We sat down side-by-side in the damp leaves and I told her everything about my conversation with Edward. She listened patiently and never once interrupted with one of her classic smart-assed remarks.

“I stopped by to check on Bella yesterday. That’s when Edward explained everything. First off, he can hear the baby’s thoughts. He’s talked to it, communicated with it. Can you believe that?”

Leah was as surprised as I had been.

“I mean, the man was euphoric, Leah. He was glowing like a fucking light bulb as he described it to me. It was hard for me to listen to that and watch him talk about it, but shit, what _isn’t_ hard about my life right now??” I snorted bitterly, then realized I was close to doing what I’d fussed at Leah for. It was disgusting to think I still had some remaining jealousy buried deep inside of me. I mentally shook it off and continued.

“But then, I got to thinking that Edward being able to communicate with it might actually be the best news we’ve had since this all started. If it’s intelligent and can be controlled, Sam won’t have any reason to attack the Cullens. The baby won’t pose a threat to any surrounding humans. Things might actually settle back into some semblance of normalcy after this is all over.”

“He’ll need some kind of proof,” Leah said. “Sam’s not just going to take our word for it, or the word of the Cullens.”

“I know. We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Anyway, Edward started explaining all of the medical mumbo-jumbo, but I called a halt to it. I told him I didn’t want to know the details. That was when Seth arrived on the scene, taking the front porch steps in one flying leap. He wanted to see Bella and Edward. I patiently gave him an abbreviated version of what he’d just told me. Then, Edward made the mistake of asking me in front of him if I wanted to hang around while they did the procedure. I nixed that idea right away. I do _not_ want to be anywhere around that house when this goes down.”

She surprised me by patting my hand sympathetically, then she just left it there. What the hell? But sympathy was in short supply in my life at the present, so I let the gesture slide and pretended not to notice her warm hand resting on top of mine.

“Then, that’s when Seth asked Edward if he could stay. Before Edward could even open his mouth, I stopped that shit dead in its tracks. There was no way in hell I was going to let Seth stick around for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. This could get bad, Leah, and Seth doesn’t need to see that. So, I ordered him back onto the line and that’s when he refused to obey my direct command.”

“Well, I agree with you about that. Seth has no business there, and neither do you. This is all on the Cullens now. Our job is to run the perimeter and keep an eye out for the pack. Our involvement should stop there.”

I sighed inwardly. If only that were possible. If only I could ignore the awful feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I’d already lost Bella to Edward, which I’d pretty much come to terms with, but now Bella was staring death in the face, and I was having a hard time accepting that I might lose her for good. Edward hadn’t pulled any punches yesterday. He’d made it plain to me there were no guarantees as to how this was going to turn out. Carlisle had planned for every possible thing that could go wrong but, as I already knew, life could kick you in the ass pretty hard with no advanced warning. At this point, changing her to a vampire didn’t sound half bad to me. At least she’d still be alive, sort of.

“God, I just want this day to be over,” I muttered under my breath.

“So do I, Jake. And believe it or not, I want things to go well for the Cullens today, because if they don’t, and everything goes down the tubes, they’re going to take me, you and Seth with them.”

I took her hand and squeezed tightly. Leah had surprised me once again. She really did understand what was at stake here. It was good to know that behind all that bitter sarcastic bitching was a woman with a keen insight and an inner strength that rivaled mine. Perfect Beta material.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

September 11th. Just a date on the calendar to most people, but to me, this was a life-defining day.

Carlisle and Edward had discussed every possible scenario with me last night. I’d loved Edward even more for being honest with me, instead of hiding the truth to protect me, as he had repeatedly done in the past. I’d listened silently as he and Carlisle had methodically gone over everything that could possibly go wrong, as well as what contingency plans they had in place to deal with each scenario. I’d asked questions and they’d been answered honestly. I’d listened politely as they’d discussed everything from medication dosages to which instruments would prove more effective in cutting through the various layers of muscle and tissue, from my optimum blood pressure levels to a bunch of stuff about my hemoglobin lab results. After awhile I’d tuned it all out and focused on the life nestled inside of me, waiting to emerge into the world and meet his family.

Edward had spoken at length with our baby last night, and it had been the most touching thing I’d ever witnessed. He’d patiently explained to our child, in simple terms, what would happen today, and had asked for his cooperation and help in the birth process. Edward had related back to me each syllable our baby had ‘spoken’ to him through his thoughts. Our little boy (or little girl) understood his life was going to change very soon. He agreed to lie very still when asked and wait patiently for us to work our way in to him and bring him gently into the world. He’d expressed his love for both of us and his eagerness to finally see and touch us, which had brought tears to my eyes and had left Edward speechless with joy.

The transformation in Edward had been astounding. His feelings for our child had gone from complete denial that he could have produced anything except a monster—a perfect replica of himself—to an immense love that spread outward from him and overwhelmed anyone who happened to be in the same room. I’d once thought Edward to be the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen when I’d first met him in Biology class, but that boy paled in comparison to the man he'd become. He was an expectant father now, and he had an ethereal glow about him that transcended mere beauty.

As I lay on the hospital bed and watched Edward and Carlisle silently and efficiently get everything ready, I thought about life. Not life in general, but _my_ life, and our baby’s life. That was what all the medical debate last night had boiled down to in the end: life. I’d listened to their back-and-forth discussions and knew they were just doing what medically trained people were compelled to do. I loved Carlisle so much for his thoroughness and his attention to detail in what must have been the most difficult medical case he’d ever encountered. No matter what happened today, I’d never be able to repay him for everything he’d done to support me and Edward.

“I don’t remember if I’ve ever thanked you, Carlisle. So, thank you for everything you’ve done for us.” 

Without even breaking the rhythm of his preparations, Carlisle smiled warmly down at me. “You’re very welcome, Bella.”

Edward was doing what came naturally to him, as well. He was very calmly analyzing everything ad nauseum, but that was my Edward. It was how he coped with stress. I understood that now, and it no longer bothered me.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Edward said calmly. He smiled and winked. “Don’t forget there are now four of us in this room who are determined to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

I smiled at the thought of our baby being so involved in its own birth. How many times had that happened on this earth? This was truly a unique experience and I was profoundly thankful I would be awake to witness it.

“And please thank Esme for me. The room is beautiful,” I added. Other than the obvious medical equipment, I would never guess I was in a hospital room. It felt like my bedroom—comfortable and cozy. The walls were painted a very pale blue, a color we so rarely saw in the skies of Forks. The drapes were lightweight and delicate—a pale yellow, as golden as the sun when it decided to grace us with its presence. Paintings of peaceful landscapes dotted the walls. Even the sheets on my bed were beautiful and soft. She’d foregone the standard hospital-white for a pale blue sprinkled with tiny yellow flowers. I could almost imagine myself lying in the grass of our meadow, with the heat of the sun bathing me in its warmth.

“She said, ‘You’re welcome, my dear’.” Carlisle chuckled at the look on my face. I’d forgotten once again that every syllable that came out of anyone’s mouth in this house could be heard with ease.

I glanced to my right, to the small end table pushed up close against a very comfortable-looking wing-backed chair. On that table was a clear glass jar of sand from Isle Esme that Edward had so thoughtfully collected during our honeymoon. In it, he’d place one of my favorite shells. He’d asked me last night if I minded it being in the delivery room with us, as a reminder of how I wanted to be changed. I’d cried, of course, but had readily agreed. That jar of sand represented both our dreams: our desire to hold the time and place and circumstances of my change in _our_ hands instead of fate’s.

Both Edward and Carlisle donned surgical gloves. Edward was given the task of numbing the area of my back where the epidural would be inserted. While we waited for the numbness to kick in, he hovered by my side and kept a cold, but comforting hand on my arm. Carlisle started my IV. Watching that needle slide into my vein brought me back to reality in a rush of nervousness. It had started. The moment had finally arrived.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and forced myself to remain calm. It was ridiculous to be nervous because there were only so many outcomes to this procedure, despite Carlisle and Edward’s hours of medical debate. In my mind, it was very simple. It was all about life. In the next hour or two, I’d either be dead, a vampire, or still human, and our baby would either live or it would die. Simple. The hard part was going to be staying strong and fighting to live. I was determined to do both, because I wanted more than anything to live to see my husband hold his child in his arms for the first time. I yearned to see the reaffirmation in his face that he had a soul and that it existed not only in him, but inside the child he’d help create out of his love for me. My strength was in Edward and in that small jar of sand sitting on the end table.

When I was numbed, I was instructed to turn onto my left side for the insertion of the epidural. Edward moved around the bed so he was facing me, while Carlisle worked at my back. All I felt was a little pressure; no pain. They’d decided to insert a catheter in case more medication was needed during the procedure. After all, no gynecologist, and certainly not Carlisle, had ever delivered a half-vampire baby through C-section. They were erring on the side of caution with everything, and who could blame them?

Edward held a short, but informative conversation with our child, letting him know we were about to begin and reminding him to stay as still as possible. He snickered and shot me a crooked grin. “He said, ‘Yes, Daddy. I will’. I wonder if it’s going to be that easy when he’s a teenager.”

Carlisle chuckled softly. “No, I can guarantee you it won’t.”

The next minutes? hours? became nothing but one strange medical sound after another, and through it all, Edward’s comforting voice was always there, asking me if I felt any pain or discomfort, checking my vitals and relaying the results to Carlisle, and speaking quietly to our child.

I heard a soft curse from Carlisle’s direction.

“What is it? Is everything all right?” I’d never heard Carlisle say anything harsh, let alone a curse word.

“Everything’s fine,” Carlisle said wryly. “Except for the fact that your doctor got everything all wrong. It wasn’t your placenta that was blocking the ultrasound. It was your amniotic sac. It’s supposed to be a very thin, pliable membrane surrounding your baby, but yours is more like the cartilage in your ear. It’s very thick, but the good news is I’m not having any problem cutting through it.”

I sighed in relief at the news, and so did Edward. He wouldn’t have to bite his way in, which wouldn’t have bothered me in the least. But the idea of using his teeth as scalpels had bothered him a great deal. Last night, he’d very bitterly pointed out that ripping into an animal’s neck to feed was barbaric enough without having to chew his own wife open to deliver their child. I supposed I could see his point, but it still wouldn’t have mattered to me, and I’d told him so.

“Is the baby okay?” I asked nervously. I didn’t understand the meaning of the numbers and medical jargon Edward and Carlisle were tossing back and forth between them, but they both assured me everything was going perfectly fine so far.

Things came to a brief stop soon after, when a wave of nausea suddenly overtook me. Edward held back my hair as I threw up into the little curved plastic bowl he’d sat on my chest. Carlisle assured me that nausea was normal for some women and not to worry.

Edward asked once again if I felt any discomfort or pain in my lower abdomen, which I didn’t. Carlisle nodded and exchanged meaningful glances with Edward. “Let’s do this,” he said with quiet confidence.

Both of his arms disappeared behind the sheet that covered me from the waist down. At that point, I did feel some pressure and tugging, but since it wasn’t painful, I didn’t say anything about it.

Within seconds I heard a garbled sound come out of Edward’s mouth that I’d never heard before, then: “We have a little girl, Bella!” he exclaimed loudly, his voice shaking with emotion. “And she has a ton of hair!”

A chorus of yells, hoots, hand slaps and joyful laughter sounded from outside our door. Rose squealed ‘I’m an aunt!’ loud enough for half of Forks to hear.

I started to prop myself up on the bed so I could see, but Edward caught me just in time. “The catheter is still in place,” he said hurriedly. “Stay still. Here she is, Bella.”

He brought her out from behind the sheet and laid her on my chest. He was grinning as he used a bulb to suction out her mouth. I looked on in stunned amazement at the beautiful creature Edward and I had created. She was tiny and covered in blood, her thick hair matted and dark with it, but she was exquisite. I could already tell that. In seconds, the gurgling of the suction stopped and our precious little girl cried out lustily for the entire world to hear. It was the one and only time she would ever cry like a normal infant.

“Renesmee,” Edward said softly, ignoring the ruckus going on out in the hall. He looked at me. We locked eyes and the love exchanged in that brief glance was the stuff romance novels were made of. I loved this man with everything I had in me, and he felt the same way about me. Now we had a child, a physical manifestation of that love. I was alive and healthy, and so was our baby.

I cupped a hand around her tiny head as Edward worked swiftly to cut the umbilical cord and do all the standard tests that were done on newborns. Carlisle managed to sneak a glance around the sheet at his grand-daughter. He smiled, then quickly returned to his tasks.

“We’re just going in reverse now, Bella. It takes a little longer to put everything back together than it did to take it apart, but it’s going smoothly,” he explained as he worked.

I heard everything he said, but it wasn’t registering in my mind. All I could think of was that warm wiggling bundle lying on my chest. “We have a little girl, Carlisle!” I blurted out stupidly, then laughed. Edward laughed with me.

Carlisle chuckled behind the sheet. “I know. I was there. She’s beautiful.”

I watched Edward quickly clean Renesmee. “Carlisle!” he exclaimed softly. “She has a heartbeat! And her skin feels hotter than the normal human’s, and she has a full set of teeth!”

“She’s most definitely going to be a very unique little girl,” Carlisle mused as he worked. “Oh, and be sure to get measurements…of everything.”

I watched as Edward measured her body and the circumference of her head, committing the numbers to his vampire memory. He grabbed a white ball of cloth from the medical table beside the bed. “Not sure she’s going to need this, but we’ll put it on her anyway.” He tenderly slipped the small knit cap onto her head. “It’s to keep her warm, but she feels like she’s doing a pretty good job of that on her own. Here. You might need these.”

He handed me a wad of tissues. I hadn’t even realized I’d been steadily crying since the moment Renesmee had emerged out of my body. I thanked him and cleaned myself up so I could finally look into my baby girl’s face. He gently turned her over onto her stomach and helped me get into a comfortable position so I could snuggle up close with her.

“Careful, Bella,” Edward warned. “Her teeth.”

Before he could finish his sentence I felt the tiny bite near my breast. I yelped, more out of surprise than pain. It hadn’t been any worse than being nipped by a playful cat, but still, Edward was immediately there. He stepped into his “Daddy Shoes” like he’d been wearing them all his life. “No, Renesmee,” he admonished her gently, but sternly. “We don’t bite.”

“It’s all right. She didn’t know she was hurting me.” I cooed softly, stroking her capped head and gently trailing my palm down her back. She raised her head and looked me straight in the eyes and smiled. I gasped in surprise, then smiled back. “She’s smiling at me!”

Edward scooted around behind me so he was at the head of the bed and looking over my shoulder at her.

“Look at her eyes! They’re brown, like mine!” I squealed.

“I know,” he said, chuckling, his fragrant breath blowing cool against my neck. “I noticed that first thing, but I wanted it to be a surprise. After we wash her hair and get all of the blood out, it’s going to be the same color as mine.”

“It’s looks brown to me,” I observed. “Are you sure?”

I heard his quiet laughter behind me. “Yes, I’m sure. I can see the red tints in it that you can’t see.”

“Showoff,” I muttered, pretending to be annoyed at his superior vampire sight. In actuality, I was screaming with joy inside at the thought of her having Edward’s beautiful bronze hair.

I wrapped my hand around her balled-up fist. It was so small. It felt like I was holding a hot stone in my hand that had been baking in the sun all day. Her huge brown eyes wandered up to my face, then everything changed inside my mind. My vantage point of the room shifted. I no longer saw Carlisle still working behind the sheet but, instead, I saw my own face, and Edward’s face behind me, just over my shoulder. He was looking at someone and beaming with pride, and I was frowning. I was seeing us from her point of view. How was that possible?

“Edward.” I let go of her tiny fist. “Hold her hand.”

“It’s so small, isn’t it?” he breathed in awe. He took her fist and held it between his fingers. He gasped. “Incredible. I’m seeing inside my head what she’s seeing with her eyes. Unbelievable.” He let go of her hand, then a few moments later grabbed it again. “That’s exactly what’s happening. She’s projecting what she’s seeing into our minds. Did you hear that, Carlisle? She has a gift!”

Carlisle had finished sewing me back together and was now smiling down at us as he peeled off his bloody surgical gloves. He shook his head in wonder. “I’ve never seen anything like her.” He reached down and cupped her small head in his large palm. “She’s a miracle, a beautiful, precious miracle.” He shed his coat and moved toward the door. “I’m going to leave you two alone for awhile. I’ll try my best to keep everyone out, at least for a half an hour. Will that be long enough?”

“Thank you. That’ll be fine,” Edward answered.

Carlisle left the room and everything went quiet. Neither Edward nor I said anything the entire thirty minutes. We just stared at our daughter in mute fascination. We touched her, patted her, and stroked her small body tenderly. We held her fist in our hands. We traced the outline of her ear with a finger tip, stroked her rosy cheek. The smile never left either of our faces the entire time. There were no words to describe how I felt as I examined my beautiful baby girl and memorized every small part of her.

“She’s probably hungry,” I said finally. “Don’t you think?”

“I’m sure she is,” Edward agreed. “Carlisle is probably taking care of that little detail right now.”

“Awww,” I cooed. “Look at her eyes.”

Her pale lavender eyelids slowly drifted shut, snapped opened, then drifted shut again. The last time, they stayed shut. “She can sleep,” Edward whispered in awe.

“Sleep well, Renesmee,” I whispered. I sighed and closed my own eyes, falling asleep to the feel of Edward’s cool hand closed over mine, and the warmth of my precious baby girl against my chest.

 

 


	21. Getting Acquainted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although Bella and Edward (and Renesmee) are the main focus of this story, there will be two other side-stories going on at the same time, one involving Jacob and the wolves, and the other involving Alice and her human past. In this chapter, there are some small references to Alice’s story, “In Search of Forever”. If you haven’t read it, you probably won’t understand what’s going on in that particular part. Perhaps now would be a good time to give that one a read! *hint*

_**September 11, 2006** _

**~ JACOB ~**

Carlisle emerged from a break in the underbrush into the clearing. I couldn’t tell a damned thing from the expression on his face. Was she dead? Had the little monster lived, or was it also gone, along with Bella?

A breathless Seth burst into the clearing just as Carlisle arrived. I glared in his direction. He knew where he was supposed to be and it wasn’t here with me.

“Hey, Jake,” he murmured underneath his breath, never meeting my eyes. “It’s all good. Leah’s got it under control.”

Now was not the time to get into an argument with him. If the look on his face was any indication, he was as scared as I was. I turned my attention away from him and back to Carlisle. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but they stuck in my throat. I couldn’t get the words past my lips, but they were racing through my mind faster than I could keep up. Is Bella dead? Is she one of you now? Is the baby a blood thirsty freak, a monster I’m going to have to kill in order to protect the humans in this small town? How am I going to tell Charlie? How in hell am I going to live without Bella?

Then Carlisle smiled, and the relief overwhelmed me. “She’s fine. She’s alive and still human.”

“Yes!!” Beside me, Seth delivered a swift fist pump into the air. He was all smiles, and so was I.

“The C-section went smoothly. We’ve got ourselves a little girl.”

Carlisle was bursting at the seams with grandfatherly pride. I knew how he felt. Not the grandfather part, but the pride part. I was so damned proud of Bella for being strong enough to make it through this, even though I’d had serious doubts. I couldn’t wait to tell her.

“So, it’s going to be that name with all the e’s,” I said, sighing at the thought of that poor little girl having to live with that horrible name for the rest of her life.

“Renesmee, yes,” Carlisle said, smiling fondly. “It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl.”

I sighed inwardly. Was I the only one who absolutely hated that name??

“What does she look like?” Seth asked excitedly.

Carlisle’s expression softened. It was strange to see the shift from hard marbled features to one of complete love and adoration. _This baby must be some looker._

“She’s got Bella’s brown eyes and Edward’s hair, a full set of teeth, and a heartbeat,” he said proudly. “She’s a completely new creation, Jacob. We’ve never seen anything like her before. She’s perfect and beautiful.”

“When can we see her? And Bella?” Seth asked. He was very nearly bouncing on his toes with eagerness. He really needed to ratchet it down a notch or two and stop with the tail-wagging. He was acting like a little puppy with a new chew toy.

“That’s why I’m here,” Carlisle answered. “Edward, and especially Bella, are eager to see both of you, but I was wondering if you’d be very upset if we asked for a little time before you visit, just until tomorrow. We’re all very excited and we would really appreciate some quiet time as a family to get to know our little girl before we have to deal with the wolf pack situation.”

I sensed Seth deflating, like Carlisle had stuck a pin in him and let all the air out. “We understand, and we’ll wait until tomorrow,” I said, nodding. “Just let them know that we’re just so relieved that it all worked out okay." Carlisle smiled and nodded. “I will, and thank you, Jacob. I hope you know we consider you part of our family now: you, Seth and Leah. We can never thank all of you enough for the sacrifices you’ve made to help us.”

“It was the right thing to do,” was all I could manage in response.

I was a little surprised to hear I was considered family, and it was all I could do not to snort out loud at the thought of Leah and her reaction when I told her she had a set of new vampire “relatives”. Seth was grinning from ear-to-ear, of course, because this wasn’t news to him. He’d already done everything he could to worm his way into the Cullen family, except for moving into their spare bedroom, which he’d probably do in a heartbeat if any of them offered.

“Tell Edward and Bella I said ‘hey’,” Seth offered, just as Carlisle started to leave. “And little Renesmee, too.”

Carlisle smiled fondly. “I most certainly will.”

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD & RENESMEE ~**

I cradled my daughter in my arms and watched her sleep. Her expression was calm and peaceful, just as I imagined the dream world behind her pale violet lids to be. It was a world I’d never been able to visit. Until now. I held her tiny fist against my cheek and journeyed through those peaceful worlds with her as she slept. Her mind was filled with vivid shades of all of the colors she’d encountered in her short life: the pale yellows and blues of this room, swirls of bright red and pink, tans and marble whites, along with the brown and gold of her parents’ eyes.

I saw faces swim in and out of her unconscious mind: mine, Bella’s and Carlisle’s, the only three people she’d seen since her arrival into this world. I witnessed my sweet daughter’s perspective of her own birth: my joyful and shocked expression being the first thing she’d seen, then Carlisle’s look of wonder and awe, and finally Bella’s adoring face filled to overflowing with the love of a mother for her newborn child.

Suddenly, her small rosy lips transformed into the cutest pout as she began sucking on an imaginary nipple. I smiled when the image of a baby bottle full of red liquid drifted into her thoughts. _Awwwww, she’s dreaming of food._ _I should wake her._ _No, I probably shouldn’t._ _But what if she’s really hungry? What if her tiny throat is burning with thirst right this very instant?? I should wake her and give her a bottle._

I glanced over at Bella, who was also sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed. I didn’t want to disturb her. She’d been through so much, and she was getting some much-needed rest. By waking Nessa I might inadvertently wake Bella. I sighed and cringed inside as I made the decision to just let Nessa sleep. But was it the right decision? Surely, she’d awaken if she got really hungry. Wouldn’t she?? Maybe I should wake her.  _Noooo, Edward, you shouldn’t! She’s only been here a few hours and you’re already being an over-protective…_

 _Father._ I was a father. I still couldn’t believe it, even though I was holding the very real evidence of it in my arms. I was a father, and I was so in love with this tiny being I’d helped create. I was also scared out of my wits. What kind of father would I be?

“I love what I’m seeing.” Bella’s sleepy voice startled me out of my confusing thoughts. “I swore I would live to see this, to see you finally hold your child in your arms and know you’re not a monster. Look at what we created, Edward. Isn’t she beautiful? ”

I smiled and my heart swelled with the love I felt for my wife and the mother of my daughter. “She most certainly is.”

“How long have I been asleep?” she asked, wincing just a little when she shifted her weight.

“Are you all right?” I asked, alarmed at seeing her in pain. “Do you need some medication?”

“I’m fine. Just sore, which is normal. So, how long have I been asleep?”

“An hour or so. I’m not really sure.”

Her eyebrows arched in question. “You’re not really sure?? Since when? I’d think you’d know to the exact millisecond how long I’ve been out of it.”

I smiled fondly down at the warm bundle in my arms. “I’ve been a bit distracted, wandering around in this little one’s dreams. Her thoughts are so sweet and innocent. Her mind is such a comfortable place to visit. You can’t imagine.”

Bella’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

“Do you want her back?”

She shook her head. “I like watching you hold her.”

I tightened my arms around Nessa, relieved I didn’t have to give her up just yet. I wanted to hold her and look at her for as long as I could. I knew every dimple, every crease, and every curve of her face by heart, but that didn’t stop me from staring at her like it was the first time I’d ever seen her. And to think that I’d…

“Bella, don’t ever listen to anything I say ever again.”

“What?” Her brow crinkled into a deep frown, but she was also smiling.

“It makes me cringe inside to know that I wanted to—” I hesitated. I didn’t even want to say it out loud, but I had to. “—that I wanted to kill her, to abort her. If you’d listened to me, we wouldn’t have this beautiful child to love. So, from now on, when I’m being stupid, just ignore me and do what you know is right, just like you did this time.”

The tears she’d been holding back were threatening to break loose. “Edward, come here.”

I crossed the room and gently laid Nessa in the crook of Bella’s arm. She roused, and I thought she might awaken, but she sighed softly and drifted back to sleep.

Bella motioned for me to lie down with her. After some very cautious maneuvering, I ended up stretched out on one side of her, and Nessa was still sleeping peacefully underneath her arm on the other side. We threaded our fingers together and snuggled.

“Remember what you told me that day you helped me bathe? You said we needed each other, that I needed your physical strength, and you needed my emotional strength. I imagine that’s how marriage is supposed to work. If one of us has a moment of weakness, the other one is there for support and strength. I’m sure we’ll make a lot of mistakes in the future, but we won’t make them alone. I love you and that will never change, no matter what.”

Never in my wildest imaginings had I foreseen a happy ending like this. I never thought I’d be able to make Bella happy, but somehow—and I think it was purely accidental—I’d managed to do just that.

* * *

 

**~ CARLISLE/ESME and RENESMEE ~**

**~ CARLISLE ~**

“That’s the last of it.” Esme sighed happily and passed the empty bottle to me, which I handed off to Edward without even acknowledging when it left my hand. I was too busy to notice such mundane things. I couldn’t stop staring at my granddaughter. Even though I’d memorized her features long ago, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

“I have the same problem,” Edward said, smiling. “I want to just sit for hours and do nothing but look at her.”

Bella and Esme murmured their agreement. We all seemed to share the same affliction.

“She’s a miracle. There’s no other word to describe her,” I mused.

Along with wanting to stare at her for hours, I also wanted to touch her every moment I was with her. Her hair was the same color as my son’s, and as soft as down. Her skin was hard, but smooth. I wondered if it would glisten in the sunlight like ours. Her heart beat strong and very rapidly in her chest, and pumped blood throughout her body, but her scent was only slightly appetizing. The blush on her cheeks set her apart from the rest of us with our pale, marble faces. Simply stated, she was stunning—more lovely than any purebred vampire ever hoped to be. The scientist in me marveled at the ability of a vampire and a human to produce an entirely new species, but the grandfather in me was simply in love. Head-over-heels.

Esme bent down close enough to Renesmee so that she could touch her face. Her tiny hand found its way to Esme’s cheek. They both smiled at each other. There was no more beautiful sight in my world than my wife and my granddaughter together. “She wants to know my name,” Esme said to the room, her voice filled with awe at being able to hear her thoughts. “It’s Esme, but you can call me Nana Esme. I’m your grandmother.”

There were a few moments of silence where I could only imagine what was being “said” between them. Esme smiled and brushed her fingers down her grandchild’s small face. “I love you, too. So very much.”

Bella was trying to hide the fact she was crying, but she wasn’t succeeding. It was a touching scene, and if any one of us could have joined her in shedding a tear, we would have.

“Do you want to hold her for awhile, Carlisle?”

I smiled in anticipation. “Are you kidding? Of course I do!”

Esme transferred our little miracle very carefully into my arms. Almost immediately, she reached her hands upward. We already knew what that gesture meant: she wanted to “talk”. I leaned down so she could touch my face.

_**Carlisle.** _

I laughed softly. “She just called me Carlisle, which feels a little odd. Maybe I need one of those grandfatherly names. Any suggestions?”

Beside me, Esme laughed quietly. “How about GrandPapa? It’s French.”

“Or Poppy?” Bella added.

“I think just plain old Grandfather sounds nice,” Edward said. “And it seems fitting.”

“Oh no, that’s waaaaaay too stuffy for my darling Carlisle,” Esme murmured, squeezing my thigh surreptitiously and winking.

Edward sighed. “Okay, how about Papa? Papa Carlisle.”

Bella grinned. “Or PeePaw. One of my friends back in Phoenix used to call her grandfather that. It’s cute.”

Edward looked down at Bella like she’d lost her mind. “PeePaw?? Uh, no.”

I agreed.

“I still say GrandPapa is perfect. It’s so Old World and sophisticated, just like you,” Esme said with a loving smile.

“There’s always Grandpa,” Edward suggested.

Bella giggled. “Or GrandDude.”

Everyone laughed, including me. Renesmee reached up her hand and I immediately bent down within her reach. As soon as her fingers touched my face, I had a new name.

_**Grandpa Carlisle…** _

I raised my head and smiled. “Renesmee likes Grandpa, so Grandpa Carlisle it is.”

* * *

 

**~ ROSALIE/EMMETT and RENESMEE ~**

**~ EMMETT ~**

“You’ve been holding her forever, Rose. Quit being a baby-hog.”

Both Edward and Bella snickered at my observation, because it was the truth. Rose had snatched Renesmee out of Edward’s arms as soon as she’d come into the room, and she hadn’t let go since. It was way past time for it to be my turn.

“Just a little longer,” Rose murmured.

I looked across the room at Bella and Edward and rolled my eyes. “You’ve held her for thirty minutes straight. Now, hand her over!”

Rose sighed and reluctantly shifted Renesmee from her lap to mine. “Hold onto her tight,” she warned.

I pretended she was slipping out of my hands and that I was going to drop her just to see Rose’s reaction.

“EMMETT!! You idiot!! You’re going to drop her!!”

I snickered. “Geez, Rose. Did you forget to take your Prozac this morning? She’s fine, babe. I was just playing around.” But, by the look in Rose’s eyes, she wasn’t amused. _Uh oh. Don’t think I’ll be getting any tonight._

Across the room, Edward sighed painfully. Well, that was what he got for sticking his nosy mind in other people’s heads. I held Renesmee in my lap, with her tiny head cradled in my palms, her feet jabbing me in the…uhm…well…my ‘you-know-whats’. I hoped she didn’t decide to kick the shit out of me like she’d done in Bella’s stomach the past few days. That would sure put a crimp in the old sex life.

“Emmeeeett.” Edward sighed again. “Just shift her to the side a little.”

I chuckled and decided to take Edward’s advice. “I can’t believe how small she is. Look. Her head fits in just one of my palms.”

Rose hissed when I removed one of my hands from underneath her head; Edward’s whole body tensed. Why was everyone spazzing out? Renesmee wasn’t a fragile piece of crystal. Her skin was nearly as hard as ours. She was going to be a tough little girl. _Geez._ Some people needed to lighten up a little. That earned me a glare from Edward.

“You got such a cutesy wootsy little noggin,” I cooed at Renesmee, and she actually smiled back. Huh. She had a sense of humor. Wow. Must have gotten that from Bella. I looked up just in time to see Edward roll his eyes and shake his head. “And you have such teensie weensie wittle feet. Yes, you do. And wittle itty bitty toes.” I tickled her little toes and she made this cute gurgly sound.

“Emmett.” Edward interrupted, frowning. “Stop with the baby talk. Renesmee can think in complete sentences, even if she can’t talk yet. You’re insulting her intelligence when you do that. Besides, you sound utterly ridiculous.”

“Awww, I think it’s cute.” Rose giggled beside me and did a little cooing of her own. Even Bella was smiling.

“Edward’s just a gwumpy 'ole baby-daddy, yes he is.” I cooed at Renesmee. She smiled again.

Everyone giggled but Edward. “I think I’m going to throw up,” he muttered underneath his breath.

Speaking of throwing up. “I bet I know what you’d like,” I said to Renesmee. Before Edward could do anything about it, I tossed Renesmee up into the air, then caught her. She was smiling, shining those cute little teeth at me in sheer joy and making the sweetest gurgling sounds.

“EMMETT!!!” Edward was across the room in seconds, while Bella was rendered speechless—eyes wide, with her hand clamped over her mouth in shock. Rose was…well…a little pissed. I was definitely _not_ getting any tonight.

“What the hell are you doing???” Edward blurted out to the whole room. “Are you insane??! She’s not a football!!”

“Watch your language,” I said, quickly clapping my hands over Renesmee’s ears. “She liked it. Didn’t you hear her laugh? She was grinning for all she was worth. Geez, you guys need to lighten up. I’m not going to hurt her. I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt this little cutie.” I grabbed onto her nose and wiggled it between my fingers, which brought another smile and gurgly noise. “This little sweetheart is going to be tough as nails. You mark my words.”

Renesmee reached up and touched my face.  _ **I love you, Emmett.**_

“Just call me Em.”

_**I love you…Em.** _

No. Contrary to what Edward probably thought, I would never hurt Renesmee, and God help the person who would ever try to do her harm. No matter who they were, I’d rip their fucking heads off and not think twice about it.

I looked up at Edward. He nodded in approval and smiled.

* * *

**~ ALICE/JASPER and RENESMEE ~**

**~ JASPER ~**

“You hold her first,” Alice said, glancing at me nervously.

“No, you go first,” I said, just as nervously.

“Guys, she’s not a porcelain doll. She won’t break, even though she looks like she will. Good gosh, Emmett was throwing her around like a football earlier and she survived. So, just pick her up like you would anything else,” Bella instructed gently.

I turned to my wife, who was sitting on the sofa looking jittery. “Come on over here and just pick her up, Alice. If she survived Em then she definitely won’t break,” I said jokingly.

Suddenly the emotion surrounding Alice shifted from slight nervousness to outright fear. She was afraid to hold Renesmee and I didn’t understand why. I shot a look at Edward and he was frowning. Something was definitely wrong.

“It’s all right, darlin’. I’ll hold her first.” I gathered up my new little niece and cradled her protectively in my arms until I sat down on the sofa beside of Alice. Her eyes followed me the entire way and now settled on the lively little bundle in my lap. Renesmee was awake and alert, and looking at both of us rather intently. It was a little unnerving, especially after hearing Edward talk about how intelligent she already was, and about how she could communicate in complete sentences even though she was, quite literally, still a newborn.

She was so small, and Bella was right. Even though she looked very tiny and breakable, I doubted she was. Her skin was hard like ours, and she’d already proven she was immensely strong, as evidenced by the bruises she’d put on Bella’s stomach from the inside.

“She’s not a little bird,” I said softly, then raised my eyes to Bella’s. “But she is definitely another gift to this family.” Only Bella knew what I was referring to: our conversation over a chess board where I’d compared her to a fragile bird I’d once held in my hand and not crushed. Bella had been a gift to this family, and now she’d given us another one.

“I think that, someday, I’d like to hear the details of that conversation,” Edward said, glancing between me and Bella.

Bella smiled up at Edward. “I’ll tell you later.”

Renesmee reached her little hands up in the air.

“She wants to touch your face,” Bella said.

I bent down until my face was close enough for her to reach. Her tiny palm came to rest against my cheek, and in an instant I was inside her mind. It was astounding! I flicked my eyes up at Edward; he was smiling proudly. So this was what it was like to be Edward 24 hours a day!

_**What is your name?** _

I smiled, and was completely in awe at the idea of making small talk with a baby who was only hours old. _Astonishing._

“I’m Jasper, your uncle. But you can call me Jazz, if you want.”

Instead of responding to me in her thoughts, she made a rather incoherent gurgling sound.

“Is she trying to say my name??” I asked in shock.

Edward and Bella both shook their heads, mystified. “It wouldn’t surprise me if she started talking tomorrow. She’s definitely not like other newborns,” Edward said, stating the obvious.

_**I love you, Jazz.** _

A big, toothy grin completely took over my face, and I couldn’t control it. This was what unconditional love felt like. Renesmee knew absolutely nothing about me except for my name and what I looked like, but she already loved me. Someone had definitely been looking out for me when they’d steered Alice in my direction back in Philadelphia so long ago. This entire family had been my salvation, not just her.

Renesmee’s miniature index finger traced a line down my cheek and across my chin, stopping at the top of my throat. I couldn’t believe how much control she had over her body, not that I was a baby expert, but I was pretty sure newborns shouldn’t be able to do that so soon.

_**What is that?** _

I touched my finger to the place she’d touched. My scars. She could see them. “It’s a scar.”

_**What is a…scar?** _

I raised my head and glanced around the room, looking for guidance. “She wants to know what a scar is. How do I explain that?”

Bella and Edward exchanged puzzled glances. I looked to Alice for guidance and, as always, she had the perfect answer. “Just tell her the truth in simple terms.”

I nodded at my wife’s sage advice and turned my attention back to Renesmee, searching for simple words to explain a very complicated thing. “A person hurt me a long time ago, and it left a mark that will never go away. That mark is called a scar.”

She didn’t “say” anything in response to my explanation. Instead, her tiny fingers explored my face, while I sat impassively. I saw my countenance in her thoughts and watched her touch every one of the lesions splattered across my face in harsh, inelegant curves. It was the strangest thing I’d ever experienced, and I had no idea what to make of it. All I sensed in her emotions was an innocent curiosity and acceptance.

There was no other way to put it except to say I was totally in love with this beautiful child that Bella and Edward had brought into the world. Completely smitten. Only one other female had stolen my heart in such a profound way. I turned my attention to my wife, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. The negative emotions that were swirling around her were impossible to ignore. I had no idea what to do to comfort her, and unless Edward gave me some sort of hint, I had no clue what she was thinking, either.

“Do you want to hold her for a little while?” I asked Alice.

I watched helplessly as she and Edward exchanged those silent glances that could be so annoying to the rest of us. He knew what was wrong, and if I knew my wife as well as I thought I did, she was telling him to keep his mouth shut.

“Just tell him, Alice,” Edward said softly.

“Tell me what?” I was only vaguely aware of the wriggly bundle in my arms as I turned my attention to Alice.

“As soon as I saw Renesmee, these names just popped into my head: Matthew, Mark, Sarah, Luke and Rachel. They won’t go away. I hear them laughing and playing, but I don’t know who they are.”

“Maybe they’re children from your human past,” Bella suggested gently. “And that’s why you can’t remember them.”

“They can’t be mine,” Alice said, shaking her head in frustration. “They have to be someone else’s children, someone I knew.”

It was frustrating for me that I couldn’t do anything to comfort her. If I could have hired some high-priced private investigator to find out everything about her past, I would have. But we had no idea where to start. No clues. Nothing. I hated feeling helpless.

“I think I can hold her now.” Alice reached for Renesmee. I gently placed her into her arms. Her reaction was instantaneous, and her emotions nearly overtook me with their intensity: grief and an overpowering feeling of loss.

Alice started shaking, and in seconds, Edward was at our side and easing Renesmee out of her arms.

“I’m s-sorry,” she stuttered. “I can’t.”

She fell completely apart, to everyone’s stunned amazement. She collapsed against my chest and sobbed. It was heartbreaking to hear such sorrowful sounds coming from someone who had always been such a joyful presence in my life. I wrapped my arms around her, glancing Edward’s way, but he was giving me nothing. He seemed to be as confused and upset over her behavior as I was. All I knew for certain was that Alice was grieving, but I didn’t know why. I doubted she did either.

“I’m going to take her back to our rooms.” I scooped her up into my arms, where she promptly buried her face in my shirt and clutched at my back and arms like she was holding on for her life.

Edward and Bella nodded silently, their faces etched with worry. They weren’t the only ones. What had happened in her past to cause Alice to feel such profound grief? 

 

 

 

 


	22. Wren

**~ JACOB ~**  

“I suck at social graces. I’m not going.”

What had I done to deserve such a high-maintenance beta? I could have dealt with Quil, Embry, hell, I could have even dealt with Paul—we’d have just yelled at each other for awhile, tossed some punches around and then done what had to be done. Instead, I’d ended up with Leah, who was sullen, stubborn and bitchy most of the time. Why did she also have to be one of the most bravest and loyal people I knew?? I sighed and squatted down in front of the stump she was sitting on, forcing her to finally look me in the eye.

“It’s not rocket science, Leah. You just go in there, make some cooing noises—“

“Cooing noises? Can you honestly see me cooing at that little hobgoblin?” She snorted. “Not in this lifetime.”

“Okay, no cooing noises,” I conceded, because she right, I couldn’t picture it. “Just say something about how cute she is, and maybe how she looks like Edward or Bella, ask if they need anything—“

She rolled her eyes and snorted again. “This is ridiculous. They don’t need anything and even if they do, I’m sure they’re not going to ask Leah Clearwater for help.”

I gritted my teeth and bit back the Alpha in me who just wanted to order her stubborn ass to get over to the Cullens and offer her congratulations and be done with it. “You said you wanted to smooth things over with Bella. Well, now is your chance. Just go look at their baby, say something nice, and leave.”

She smirked. “Say something nice?”

“Don’t worry, Seth and I will be there at your back. If you start to go overboard with the mushy stuff, we’ll pull you back from the ledge,” I said, grinning. “We won’t let you ruin your reputation.”

She slapped me in the chest and laughed. “Shut up!”

Laughter transformed Leah into a completely different person, and gave me a glimpse of the woman she’d been before imprinting had crushed her dreams. She was beautiful when she smiled. She really needed to do it more often.

“Come on,” I said, standing and offering her my hand. “Let’s go and get this over with.”

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. She sighed, took my hand and stood up from the stump like she was one hundred years old and eaten up with arthritis.

“Fine,” she grumbled. “But I want to go first. Just get it over with.” She slashed at the air with her hand. “Done. Finished.”

“That’s fine with me, but you might have to put Seth on a chain to hold him back.”

She rolled her eyes. Like me, she was exasperated over the moon-eyed behavior of her little brother. “I have no idea what he sees in those leeches,” she muttered.

* * *

 

We met up with Seth at the edge of the Cullens’ lawn. I doubted Edward would let all three of us in to see Bella and the baby at the same time, so I let Seth know the visitation pecking order: Leah first, me, then him.

“Why do I have to go last?” he whined.

“Because I said so.”

“That’s bogus,” he muttered, then continued on complaining about how he heard that from his mom all the time, and now he had to hear it from his Alpha, and that an Alpha ought to have a better reason than ‘Because I said so’. What kind of Alpha says ‘Because I said so?’ he wanted to know. I was perilously close to slapping him upside his head when Leah intervened.

“Relax Seth,” she scolded, rolling her eyes and smirking. “Dracula’s Little Dumpling is still too young to turn into a bat and fly out the window. She’ll still be there when it’s your turn.”

“That’s mean,” Seth countered. He always defended them, no matter the circumstances.

“It’s a joke, dummy.” She grinned and glanced my way.  

I really hoped she behaved in there, because this was pretty much her last chance to redeem herself, at least for Edward. If she fucked up, he’d never let her step foot in the house, and maybe even on the property, ever again. Despite worrying about Leah’s lack of social graces, I still had to choke back a snicker. I knew Edward and crew was listening to our conversation as we approached. But the way I looked at it, when you eavesdropped for entertainment, you couldn’t complain about the content of the show.

Edward met us at the front door with polite greetings. “Bella’s expecting you,” he said, directing his gaze at me. “I filled her in on the ‘pecking order’.”

His tiny smirk had me biting my tongue. He knew I hated having my thoughts plucked out of my head like that, but the smirk didn’t last long. Edward shot me a pointed look and I didn’t need vampire telepathy to know what it meant: I was responsible for Leah’s behavior, and she’d better be nice or he’d get in her face again, then I’d be forced to get in _his_ face again, then things would go downhill from there.

Leah took a step toward Edward and proceeded to shock the hell out of me. “It’s no secret I dislike vampires, but I’m Jake’s beta and I would never disobey his order,” she said forcefully, her head held high in defiance. Then her voice softened. “And despite what you might think of me, I would never hurt your young. As a woman, I could never do something like that to another woman.”

My respect for Leah tripled in that moment.

Edward shifted his gaze to me. “And mine as well.”

A great sense of relief settled over the front porch. Edward stepped aside and gestured to the door. “Bella’s expecting you.”

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

To say that I was nervous would be an understatement. Leah tended to scare the shit out of me on a good day. She was everything I wasn’t: strong, forceful, and not afraid to speak her mind whatever the consequences. I admired her as much as I wanted to avoid her.

I drummed my fingers nervously on the sofa armrest and waited. Renesmee was sleeping soundly on her stomach in her bassinette, which was a foot within my reach. I had to admit though, that as much as Leah intimidated me, I’d catfight her ass to the death if she tried to hurt my precious piece of Edward. Of course, Edward had assured me that I had a whole house of vampires on alert. Every syllable of our conversation would be monitored and if anyone perceived a threat to Renesmee, they’d be “all up in that wolf’s grill” (Emmett’s exact words) within seconds.

A tentative knock sounded at the bedroom door. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Come in!”

Leah emerged into the room and I immediately felt like a wallflower. She might have been a wolf, but she moved with the smooth grace of a big cat—all sinewy, sleek and predatory while still appearing attractive.

She looked at the sofa and the big empty space beside of me, then to the bed, which was freshly made, and finally to the winged-back chair adjacent to me. She noticeably swallowed and chose the bed, satisfying herself with leaning her hips back against it instead of sitting on top of the coverlet.

As hostess, it was up to me to break the ice. I really sucked at this. Where was Esme when I needed her?? “Thanks for coming.”

She nodded and drummed her fingers against her leg, glancing at me, then quickly shifting her eyes somewhere else. Leah had always oozed confidence from every pore the few times I’d been in her presence, so it surprised me to see her so nervous.

“You’re sitting up,” she commented abruptly, then immediately shook her head in frustration.“Well, that sounded stupid. What I meant to say was that you seem to have recovered rather quickly from…giving birth.”

Her comment sounded rehearsed. “They don’t let new mommies lounge around in bed for very long, or so I’ve heard. I have to get up and start walking this evening, per Carlisle’s orders. He’ll probably have me running a marathon by the end of the week.” I grimaced and threw in a half-hearted chuckle.

“A marathon,” she repeated, her voice completely flat. “That’s funny.”

Well, so much for trying to lighten things up. Jake needed to quit worrying so much about Edward’s under-developed sense of humor and focus on his sidekick’s non-existent one. _You’re being a bitch, Bella. Play nice._

“What I really meant to say was that you look really, really good—“ She stopped, and I assumed she was searching her mind for something polite to say. Why had Jake forced her to do this? Just watching her trying to be nice to me was like being subjected to Chinese Water Torture. “—for someone who just gave birth to a—“ She stopped, sighed and rolled her eyes. All she was doing was digging that hole deeper, and she knew it. So, I finished her sentence for her.

“A Fang Baby?”

Her head shot up; she looked at me in complete shock. “It has fangs??” I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. “I guess that could be possible, like a mutation or something, right?”

I glared at her.

“Not that I’m calling it…uh, I mean…her… a mutant or anything, but…” Her voice trailed off. “I’m totally fucking this up.” She sighed and looked straight at me for the first time. “I suck at this, Bella.”

With that one sentence, everything I thought about her completely changed. She wasn’t perfect, as I’d sometimes imagined. Behind all that wolf bravado was a normal woman who messed things up, just like me.

“What I came here to tell you was that I’m sorry for what happened, for yelling at you about Jake. I’m glad, believe it or not, that you made it through this safely without having to be…changed. It makes things a whole lot simpler for us. Oh, and your baby is cute,” she added as an afterthought, rolling her eyes again. “She looks like you.”

“How do you know? You haven’t even seen her yet?”

She smiled, something I’d never personally seen her do. “Jake told me to say that, but…” She shrugged. “You’re pretty, and Edward, well, he isn’t that awfully ugly…for a leech…so the baby has to be a little cute, right?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I got the giggles actually, and couldn’t stop. Just the thought of Leah saying Edward was cute, in her roundabout snarky way, just flat out tickled my funny bone. Before long, Leah was giggling with me, as she realized how ridiculous her observation sounded. Something epic was happening here. Bella Cullen and Leah Clearwater had found some common ground.

I had to force myself to stop laughing. I patted the empty spot beside of me. “Sit down, Leah. Get comfortable. You’re making me nervous standing over there. You’re going to wear a hole in your pants with those fingers.”

She looked down at her hand and frowned. “Damn. I need to learn not to do that. It ruins my poker face.”

I snickered as she sat down beside of me, relaxing back into the soft cushions. “About the Jake thing. I don’t accept your apology.”

Her eyebrows rose, but to her credit, she waited for me to continue.

“I’ve thought about everything you said that day, and you were right, even if your delivery wasn’t the best. So, you really don’t have anything to apologize for. You should never say you’re sorry for defending someone you care about. I have hurt Jake, a lot, but I want you to know I never meant to. I made a lot of mistakes, and if we’re to be honest, he did, too. So did Edward. But I care deeply for Jake. Don’t ever doubt that. I regret every single thing I’ve done that’s caused him pain. If I could take it all back, I would, but we both know some things just can’t be fixed, even if we wanted to. The fact of the matter is I could never be what Jake wanted me to be, and going back and doing it all over again wouldn’t change that. My heart belonged to someone else from the beginning.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I think he’s over you…finally.”

Her comment came out rather smarmy, but I took no offense. “Good. I’m glad to hear that. It’s about time he got on with his life, don’t you think?”

She considered me with those dark eyes I imagined could bore holes in concrete when she was angry. She nodded and smiled crookedly. “You’re not half bad, Bella. And you and I are in total agreement on that.”

“You want to hold Renesmee?”

Her smile evaporated in an instant. She shook her head and looked away. “No.”

“Vampirism isn’t catching. You’re perfectly safe.”

She picked at the fabric of her pants, replacing one nervous tic with another. I wondered if she noticed. “I suck at babies just as much as I suck at social graces,” she murmured, looking away.

“Maybe not.”

She hesitated, like she was going to acquiesce, then shook her head. “I don’t think so. Nothing personal, I just don’t think so.”

I was taking a huge risk with what I was about to say. She might flip out and throw a tantrum on me again, but I was determined Leah at least look at our child so she’d know Renesmee wasn’t a monster, and so she could communicate that with confidence to the rest of Sam’s pack.“You know, it’s really not nice to come and visit a new mother and not even look at the baby, let alone hold her. It’s a little insulting, actually. Just thought I’d throw that out there in case you were, you know, trying to get better at the social graces stuff?” I waited, holding my breath for her reaction.

She went as still as a statue. I imagine every vampire in the house was just as still, frozen into that weird crouch they fell into when they got ready to attack something.

Finally she turned to me and nodded with a knowing grin. “Bella does have some balls after all. Does the leech know?”

I shot her a look. “It’s Edward, not ‘leech’.”

“He calls Jake a dog and a child. Same difference in my book,” she shot back, shrugging.

I fumed silently. Our common ground was quickly turning into a sink hole and I didn’t want that to happen. I’d kind of warmed up to the idea of me and Leah not hating each other. “Okay, let’s make a deal,” I suggested. “You call Edward by his name, and Renesmee by her name, and every other vampire in this house by their names, and they won’t call you mutts, mongrels, whiny puppies, Chihuahuas on steroids, or anything else.”

She looked shocked. “Chihuahuas on steroids? Who said that??!”

I tried not to laugh. “Uhm, I think it was Rose, or maybe it was Emmett.”

She stared at me for a few nervous heartbeats, then barked a laugh. “That’s a pretty good one. Someday, I’ll have to tell… _Emmett_ …my nickname for _him_.” She winked. “It’s not nice.”

I grinned. Part of the fun of all this was the knowledge that the whole house was listening and she knew it.

“So, you’re going to hold Renesmee now,” I said, and it came out more of an order instead of a request.

She sighed. “Okay.”

I instructed her on how to pick her up from the bassinette, and we went through a brief period of arguing about that. Leah was afraid of hurting her, so I had to relate the story of Emmett throwing her up in the air like a football and her surviving that perfectly fine. With no other reasonable excuse at hand, Leah ended up sitting beside me with Renesmee stretched out on her lap. She’d awoken as soon as Leah had touched her. Her beautiful brown eyes stared up at the face before her and she cooed, kicking her little socked feet in excitement.

“Wow,” Leah breathed softly. “She’s…uh…so normal.”

“Yeah, no fangs, although she does bite from time-to-time. We’re trying to break her of that. But the good thing is that Carlisle has analyzed her venom and she’s perfectly safe. Completely non-venomous. There’s no danger of her changing anyone accidentally.”

Leah’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “She isn’t venomous??”

I shook my head. Leah now knew, and soon the whole Uley pack would know, that this new life posed no threat to the surrounding humans. Surely that would be enough to get them to back down and let us live our lives in peace. And also let Jake, Seth and Leah get back to their own lives.

Renesmee reached for her. “She wants to talk to you. Let her touch your face.”

I doubted I’d ever get tired of watching the wonder appear on people’s faces when they experienced Renesmee’s gift.

“Leah,” she said. She turned to me and explained. “She wanted to know my name. That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!”

A few moments passed, then Leah snorted. “No, I’m not, but thanks anyway.”

“What did she say?”

“She said I was pretty,” Leah answered, but the way she said it had me thinking she didn’t believe it.

“Renesmee’s right. You _are_ pretty.”

She chuckled bitterly. “Being pretty isn’t much use to me, not when you’re the only female in a pack of egotistical, testosterone-driven males. You have to be tough and strong, not pretty and soft, to survive in that every day.”

I’d never thought of it that way. I suddenly felt sorry for Leah. It must be very lonely being the only girl in that bunch, plus having them all inside her head.

Serious conversation stopped as Leah spent the next several minutes cooing over Renesmee. She held her tiny fist in hers and commented on how small it was. She fingered her bronze curls and talked about the silkiness of her hair. Her final pronouncement was that Renesmee looked mostly like me. Personally, I didn’t see it. All I saw was my beautiful Edward in her face, but I said nothing. I accepted her appraisal with a smile.

“I never in a million years thought I would say this, but…” She hesitated and lowered her voice. “I envy you. I’ll never have a child of my own. Phasing. It’s a biological dead end for me.”

Again, I was at a loss for words. What could anyone say to something like that? “You can come and visit her anytime you want. A person can never have too many baby-sitters.”

She laughed. “You’d better run that by the lee—“ She sighed. “By Edward, first.”

Suddenly the door was flung inward and a bunch of bodies poured into the room: Jake, Edward, Seth, and I could have sworn I saw Emmett peek his head in before disappearing again.

Jake looked at Leah and shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry, the leash broke. I couldn’t hold him back any longer.”

Seth bounded across the room all smiles and excitement. “Bella! You look fantastic! You should have a baby more often!”

Leah rolled her eyes and shifted Renesmee to me. I very carefully propped her up in the crook of my arm and facing the room.

“Wow, no fangs or bat wings,” Jake commented, then snickered.

Edward was standing behind him trying not to glower too much.

“She’s very beautiful,” Leah said, directing her comment specifically at Jake.

Jake raised an eyebrow in astonishment. Edward’s eyes widened in disbelief. Seth was just staring at her.

“Well, thank God she looks like Bella, is all I can say,” Jake added, chuckling.

I fully expected Edward to at least attempt a polite laugh. Instead he was frowning, and staring at Seth. Suddenly, things got very weird. Seth dropped to his knees right in front of me, reminding me of a guy about to propose marriage.

“What the hell??” Jake’s frown mirrored Edward’s. Leah was still sitting beside me, but she’d gone very still. “Get up,” Jake ordered. Seth ignored him. “Get up, Seth!” Seth ignored him again. Leah was strangely silent.

“Get. Up. Seth.”

I’d never heard Jake use his Alpha voice. It was a soft command, but very powerful. I now understood why a wolf would be unable to disobey any order spoken in that voice. It was intimidating to me, and I was just an ordinary human.

Seth ignored Jake’s command. Instead he reached out and placed his palm tenderly against Renesmee’s cheek. “Renesmee.” He sighed. “Wren.”

“Seth!!” Jake’s shout made all of us jump, except for Edward, of course, and Seth, who seemed to be in another world at the moment.

Edward intervened, speaking quickly and quietly, his eyes still glued to Seth. “I’m reading his thoughts, Jake. He’s thinking about Renesmee like she’s his future, like she’s his...” Edward’s voice trailed off into shocked silence.

“His imprint,” Jake finished softly, his voice almost a whisper. His face instantly transformed from anger to disbelief and back to anger again.

“My imprint,” Seth said quietly as he held Renesmee’s small hand in his.

That was when all hell broke loose. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!!” Leah shot up off of the sofa and tried to get through to Seth. He calmly told her he’d imprinted and to please stop shouting and cursing, that it was upsetting Wren. Then Leah stormed out of the room, and Jake, looking highly pissed, followed after her.

That left me, Edward and Seth: two shell-shocked new parents and our future son-in-law. I met Edward’s eyes across the room. He shook his head in amazement.

“I’m not ready for this,” he said simply.

Neither was I.

 

 

 


	23. Imprinting

**~ JACOB ~**

“Leah!!”

I raced out of the bedroom just in time to see Leah turning the corner and heading for the stairs. The pounding of her feet on the hardwood treads echoed loudly throughout the house and mingled with the angry hisses of the Cullens. Emmett was crouched in front of me, livid and ready to attack, with his reinforcements clustered behind him. I had no time for vampire theatrics.

“Get the fuck out of my way!” I screamed.

“EMMETT! Back off! Let him go!”

I whipped around, shocked to hear Edward coming to my defense, but I’d take help from where ever it came. Carlisle, always the calm and reasonable one, talked Emmett down from his psychopathic ledge with a few quiet commands. Emmett shot daggers into me with his eyes, but he stepped aside and let me pass. With no time to spare for thanks or curses, I flew down the steps and out the front door, doubting I’d ever catch up with Leah. She was as fast as the wind and had had too much of a head start. All I got was a glimpse of her back as she raced into the woods surrounding the Cullen lawn. A leap over the porch railing and I was flying across the grass in pursuit.

“Leah, stop!!”

She was still ahead of me, but I was slowly gaining ground. My only hope was that the river would slow her down enough for me to catch up and talk some sense into her. As angry as she was, there was no predicting what she would do. _That’s just what I need. A loose cannon for a beta. Fucking great._

I broke through the trees in time to see her step into the shallow part of river. She must have sensed me watching because she turned to face me.

“Leave me alone!” she shouted over the noise of the water. “Please, Jake!”

I nodded and let her go, like I could stop her short of going Alpha on her, which I was not going to do. She turned and ran through the shallow water, then disappeared into the thick undergrowth on the other side.

I trudged across the water, heading to the small cabin the Cullens had thrown together so we’d have a place to sleep in between patrols. What Leah didn’t know was there was nothing to be gained from running. If anyone knew that, it was me. Turning your back to the wind never helped, because when you finally ran yourself out and realized there was nowhere left to go, you had to eventually come back, then the same messed up shit that made you run in the first place was still waiting for you. Better to face it head-on, scream curses at it, and punch the fuck out of its face. If she ran enough, she’d eventually learn. I’d spent years running in circles, running into brick walls, running away. I’d finally learned. There were just some things anger couldn’t fix.

I wrenched open the cabin door and slammed it shut. Slamming doors and throwing shit around never helped anything either, but it sure made me feel better. After I’d thrown everything that wasn’t nailed down, I finally collapsed onto one of the cots and just stared at the floor. Unlike Leah, I was all angered out. There wasn’t enough rage left in me to bother with trying to throw a proper tantrum. What was the use in it? Whoever the hell your DNA got the biological hots for, well, that was who you were stuck with forever: a toddler, someone else’s boyfriend, a half-human/half-leech newborn that was only days old.

Completely fucked up.

I was damned tired of hearing how imprinting was magical and awesome and the most beautiful thing on the earth. I just couldn’t buy into the whole Your-DNA-Knows-Best theory. Someone really needed to explain to me how the fuck a half vampire baby, even though she was pretty and seemed harmless, could in any way strengthen the bloodline of a wolfpack. Renesmee had as much chance of becoming a Quileute as I had of turning Japanese. It made no sense at all, but because of all this magical shit, our people would be forced to accept her. That wasn’t going to sit well with Sam and the others, no matter _what_ the tribal rules said.

I thought of Seth. So young and now emotionally tied to a vampire for the rest of eternity. What had he done to deserve that?? But it hadn’t been hard to miss the pure adoration in his voice. Part of me wanted to puke at the thought, but another part of me just felt…just felt…

I growled at the empty room, like that would make it easier for me to ignore what I didn’t want to accept. Because the truth of it was, I felt left out. Everyone else had someone special in their life now, everyone except for me and Leah. Apparently we were the two exceptions to that magical Quileute imprinting rule. We used to think that imprinting was rare, but now it was looking like _not_ imprinting was rare. Leah and I were a rarity. I would have laughed if I could have found any enthusiasm for it.

It was time to stop trying to be a strong, invincible Alpha, and just take a good look at myself with clear eyes. I needed to accept some things about Jacob Black, face some cold hard facts, since I was alone and there was no one around to eavesdrop inside of my head and be horrified at what they were about to hear. I was lonely as hell. That was the cold, hard fact. Oh, I could get laid without any problem, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to know what real love felt like, the kind of love between Bella and Edward, Sam and Emily, my mother and father. Was that so fucking wrong? Was that too much to ask?

Staring at the floor and mentally whining wasn’t getting me anywhere. With Leah trying to run off her anger, Seth gushing over his new girlfriend, and me sulking on this cot, the line was abandoned leaving Bella and her baby unprotected. Time to man up and do the job I’d volunteered for. I sat on the cot for awhile longer, trying to muster up the will to move. Before I could find it, Leah burst into the room, and she had enough will gushing out of her for the both of us put together.

“I’m sick of this imprinting shit. Really sick of it. Had it up to fucking here with it!” Her mouth was a tight, angry slash across her face, her hair tangled from running, her pants soaked to the knees from wading across the river.

“Me too,” was all I said in response. Nothing else to say.

She jabbed a hand through her hair, getting her fingers caught in the tangles. She cursed and ripped them loose. “I mean, what is this?? Some kind of exclusive club where everyone gets to join but us?? Is there something wrong with us, Jake? We’re not good enough? We don’t deserve a happy life like everyone else? Is that it? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!!”

I didn’t have any answers, and I didn’t think Leah really expected any from me. That was always how it was with the people who were on the “outside looking in”. They never understood why they didn’t belong, they just knew they didn’t.

“You’re fucking ALPHA!” She paced the floor as she ranted. “You should be able to choose your own mate, not have her picked for you by some random genetic lottery!” She stopped and glared at me, like I could explain all this shit somehow. Then her eyes grew wide. “Good God! What if _you’d_ imprinted on that spawn instead of Seth!! Can you imagine? The alpha of our pack batshit in love with a damned leech?! Does this imprinting junk make any fucking sense to you, Jake?? Any at all??”

I just shook my head and said nothing. Leah needed to vent more than she needed my useless answers.

“Don’t you just feel like grabbing your keys and leaving this damned place? Just turning your back on it and never coming back? Just get in a car and drive, settle somewhere else where there’s no magical Quileute hocus pocus. Get a job, date around like normal people, maybe fall in love with someone nice, and just have a fucking normal life. Do you ever want that?”

Again, I didn’t bother answering her. We both knew it was a rhetorical question anyway. Yeah, I wanted it, but that wasn’t in the cards for me—maybe for her, but definitely not for me.

She sighed and sank down onto the cot opposite mine, her temper finally wearing itself out. “I can’t believe Seth imprinted on that…” She growled and dropped her head in her hands, hiding her face from me. “I just can’t believe it.”

We sat across from each other in silence for a long time. Finally she raised her head, and I was shocked at what I saw. Her eyes were shimmering with tears. She was fighting to hold them back, but she was going to lose that fight very soon.

“I just want someone to love, and I want to be the one to choose who that someone is,” she said, her voice soft and sad. “Is that too much to ask?”

“Apparently it is.” I looked away, because I didn’t want to watch my strong and courageous beta fall apart right in front of me. “No one’s on the line,” I said, keeping my gaze focused on the opposite wall, trying to give Leah some emotional privacy.

She pulled herself together, sniffed loudly and stood up. “I’m on it.”

As soon as the door shut behind her, I lay back on the cot and stared at the ceiling.

* * *

 

I jolted awake at the sound of a door opening and closing. I expected it to be Leah wanting me to relieve her on the perimeter, but it was Seth standing at the edge of the small room, frowning as he surveyed the damage I’d done.

“You’re mad at me,” he said, finally settling his gaze on me.

I sat up and swung my legs off the edge of the bed. “The place was too neat. It was getting on my nerves.”

My attempt at humor fell flat. I sighed and straightened my back, stretching out the kinks from sleeping in one position too long. “I’m not mad at you. It’s not like you could help it. You’re a victim of your Quileute DNA, just like everyone else, just like me and Leah will be one day.” _If we’re unlucky…_

Seth crossed the room in two long strides and settled onto the cot across from mine. He rested his forearms on his thighs and studied me. “I’m not a victim. It’s not like that,” he said, his voice soft but insistent.

I laughed snidely. “Really? Your mate was just chosen for you by some random hocus pocus and you’re not a victim?? You’re too young for this. You haven’t even gotten to do all the things a guy should do before he settles down. You haven’t asked a girl out on a real date, held her hand just to see what her skin feels like, snuck a kiss in a darkened theater and another one on her front porch while her dad peeks out the window wishing he could shoot your ass just for touching his precious daughter. You’ve gone straight from being a boy to being a man, and you’ve missed all the fun stuff in between. It’s not right.”

A grin flashed across Seth’s face. His eyes crinkled nearly shut as the grin morphed into soft laughter. “Oh, I think I’ll still get to experience all that stuff. Are you forgetting who her father is?? Maybe you should feel sorry for me instead of being mad.”

I saw nothing funny about this shit, at all. “I _do_ feel sorry for you.”

Seth picked up on what I really meant pretty quickly. His good humor evaporated. The Seth Clearwater I was now exchanging stares with was no longer a boy. It almost seemed as if imprinting had changed him from a joking, gangly kid into a serious and mature young man in the space of a few hours.

“Don’t feel sorry for me.” His voice was firm, but respectful. “I’m not a victim, no matter what you think. I don’t feel like I’ve been short-changed. I don’t feel controlled. I don’t feel regret, anger, resentment, none of that. It’s hard to describe what I feel right now. I’m not sure the words even exist. All I know is that Wren is my world, and I want her to be. I don’t feel trapped, because I don’t want anyone else. I’ll wait for her as long as I have to, and in the meantime I’ll be there for her in whatever way she wants me to be.”

All I could do was shake my head in disgust. He truly had no idea how ridiculous he sounded. It was like he’d been brainwashed or something.

“I know you don’t understand anything I just said,” he continued, rising from the bed. “But when it happens to you, you will.”

I highly doubted that. “I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were—“

Leah unceremoniously burst through the front door, interrupting our pointless, circular conversation. She briefly glanced Seth’s way, then back at me. I was relieved to see no anger in her eyes. “Emmett flagged me down a few minutes ago. Alice says three vampires are heading this way. They’re about a day out, and coming in from the south.”

“The Volturi?” Alarmed, I shot up from the bed and shoved my bare feet into my sneakers.

“He said it’s not the Volturi,” she answered. “Apparently, Alice knows one of the vampires, but they’re unsure of the identity of the other two. They’re debating whether to head them off before they get here or just wait for them to arrive.”

Seth’s eyes widened. “They can’t leave! We haven’t had a chance to explain things to the pack. That’ll leave Bella and Wren vulnerable.”

“But letting them waltz in here like they’re just harmless tourists isn’t such a bright idea either, Seth,” she said. And then, she surprised the hell out of me. Her eyes softened, filled with all the love she felt for her little brother. “Either way, we’ll protect your imprint. Don’t you worry about that. No one will hurt Renesmee.”

At that moment, I was so proud of her and considered myself lucky to have her by my side. No matter her personal feelings, she always came out on the right side of every issue.

She turned to me, in full beta mode now. “Emmett said they’re having a meeting ASAP, and they want us all to be there.”

The last time three vampires had wandered into Forks, all hell had broken loose. The fact that Alice supposedly knew one of them wasn’t comforting to me at all. That still left two wild cards, and when vampires were involved, the unknown was hardly ever something positive.

 

 


	24. Visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read "In Search of Forever" and the accompanying outtakes, then this chapter might not make sense. Sorry about that, but I promised a long time ago I was going to intertwine two of my fics and that time has come. My original characters—Michael Golland, Daniel Hart, and Rhodes—finally meet the Cullens a hundred or so years later than ISOF. I had so much fun writing this chapter. I hope you like reading it.

**~ JACOB ~**

“Are you sure you don’t know who the other two are?”

Alice sighed. Her patience with me was obviously wearing thin, but she had to know there was a lot more at stake for us now.

“I told you, I only know one of them,” she answered. “Daniel Hart. The other two…?” She shrugged and shifted her gaze to Carlisle.

The Cullen clan was gathered around the dining room table plotting strategy while Leah, Seth and I tried not to pace a rut into their hardwood floor.

“One of them could be the vampire I attempted to contact, we’re just not sure. But the third one, the man, based on Alice’s description, he could be anyone.”

We’d been going over this for over an hour, trying to decide what to do. Edward was completely on my side for once in saying we should meet them somewhere far away from the house in case they weren’t friendly. Alice vehemently protested, saying she knew Daniel and he’d never associate himself with unsavory people, so a meeting at a safe, short distance from the house would be fine. Seth was respectful, but very vocal in his insistence that the meeting take place far, far away from his imprint. Jasper seemed to be the only voice of reason, as much as I hated to admit it. He cautioned against us leaving en masse, reminding us we had a wolf pack breathing down our neck that wasn’t aware that one of their own had imprinted on Bella and Edward’s child. They still perceived the baby as a threat.

“I hate to say this—” Emmett interjected, sounding regretful he wouldn’t get a chance to kick some evil vampire ass. “—but I think Edward, Jake and Carlisle should be the ones to meet with them. Somewhere a safe distance away, but not too far. The rest of us will stay behind and keep watch over Bella and Renesmee.”

“I’ll run the line,” Leah volunteered. “Seth can stay with Wren.”

I glanced at Alice; she had that spacey look she always got when she was having a vision. Everyone else was commenting on Emmett’s suggestion and offering their own opinion on who should do what, where and with whom. Only Edward and I noticed the change in her.

“Alice?” Edward spoke her name and all conversation in the room stopped.

“We’re out of time. They’re here. They’ll be coming up our driveway in a few minutes,” Alice said softly.

Emmett shot up out of his chair in alarm. “You said they were a day out! What happened?”

Alice gave him a sheepish look and shrugged. “Fast car?”

Controlled chaos broke out, with everyone deciding at the last moment what they were going to do. Leah was already out the door to run the perimeter; Seth, Rosalie and Esme dashed upstairs to protect Bella and Wren. Everyone else wanted to be in on the face-to-face meeting, but Carlisle advised against it. Intimidation by numbers sounded like a good idea to me, but he insisted it would be an unnecessary provocation. So, Emmett, Alice and Jasper were to stay behind in the house and monitor the conversation, while Edward, Carlisle and I met them outside. If Alice saw anything dicey about to happen in her crystal ball, Edward would hear it in her thoughts.

“They just pulled off the main road,” Edward said softly, and the three of us headed out the front door.

* * *

 

“Holy shit,” I whispered underneath my breath, but Edward heard me. He glanced my way, one eyebrow raised in silent appreciation.

A cherry red, two-door Ferrari with darkly tinted windows and customized rims glided quietly to a stop on the pavement. It was obvious these three vampires were a hundred rungs up the evolutionary ladder compared to the last three who had sneaked into Forks looking like homeless bums.

“My sentiments exactly,” Edward said softly, his golden eyes focused intently on the car’s shiny red exterior.

The doors swung open and what emerged from the passenger side was nothing like what I’d expected. The woman was average height, slim and unbelievably beautiful…for a vamp. But her hair….

“Rhodes!” 

Carlisle smiled brightly and the woman dashed into his welcoming arms. While they exchanged excited greetings, the driver got out and sauntered around the front of the car, hands in his pockets with an amused grin. He was dark-haired, compact and very muscular, a vampire who looked like he could give Emmett a run for his money.

When the hugs were finished, the driver stuck out his hand. “I’m Daniel Hart, and you obviously know Rhodes.”

“Carlisle Cullen,” he responded, shaking Daniel’s hand. “And this is my son, Edward Cullen, and a dear friend of the family, Jacob Black.”

Daniel and Rhodes’ golden eyes swept over us both, cautiously appraising the backup welcoming committee. I guess we passed their character test, because Daniel smiled and nodded a silent greeting.

_**They’re vegetarians, too. Interesting.** _

Edward nodded in agreement.

_**I thought that was only a Cullen thing.** _

“Apparently not,” he whispered.

Daniel watched our quiet exchange, his eyes narrowing with curiosity.

At that moment, the third vampire emerged from the back seat of the car and the demeanor of the other two immediately changed. It was almost as if he were royalty, like the King of England had just stepped out of his gilded carriage. Once he was out of the car and standing, they closed ranks on either side of him, like two over-protective bodyguards. The guy was slightly shorter and a lot more slender than Daniel, but he was still a vampire, for fuck’s sake. Why would he need protecting??

“Michael Golland!” Carlisle exclaimed softly in surprise. “It’s so very good to see you after all these years!”

The vampire smiled graciously and another round of greetings and introductions commenced.

I glanced Edward’s way, fully expecting him to comment on my thoughts, but he was ignoring me. His eyes were focused on Michael, and he was frowning. When Edward frowned, I got worried. He was hearing something he didn’t like. I turned my attention back to the three, and this time I pushed my juvenile obsession with their sweet ride to the background and let my Quileute instincts take over.

Michael frowned, hesitated for few seconds, then his forehead went smooth again. “I think the last time we talked I was being held prisoner by the Volturi,” Michael said.

Carlisle nodded. “Yes, and we were engaged in a rather heated debate about vampire ethics while Rhodes was busy planning your escape.”

Rhodes laughed brightly. “Those were good times, eh Carlisle?”

The three of them chuckled at her comment. I guess you had to have been there, because Edward and I weren’t laughing. We were watching… _very closely_ …and something just didn’t feel right to me. Daniel kept shooting furtive glances my way, like I was some kind of freak with a deformity. Edward was still fixated on Michael, and Rhodes—even though she was acting all relaxed and bubbly—was studying all of us like we were bugs under a microscope.

Then, without any warning, things degenerated from slightly weird to downright fucking strange. Alice burst through the front door and three things happened at once: Daniel’s mouth dropped open in surprise and obvious happiness as Alice threw herself into his arms, Rhodes’ perkiness vanished in an instant, like someone had taken a good long piss in her Cheerios and, finally, Michael went very still, that creepy vampire stillness that reminded me of the cold marble statues in the cemetery. His gaze never left Alice as she hugged and kissed Daniel. He almost looked like he was in shock, and I wondered if I was going to have to throw a blanket over him and elevate his feet. Something was very “off” with him.

When Alice finally let go of Daniel, she turned to Michael and Rhodes. “I’m Alice. It’s nice to meet you.” She stuck out her hand. Rhodes shook it politely, murmured something nice, then quickly let it go. Alice shifted her waiting hand to Michael. He very smoothly slid out of his vampire coma and took her hand, raised it to his lips, then kissed her fingers. Was this guy for real??

“I’m charmed to make your acquaintance, Alice,” he murmured softly, still holding her hand in his, and staring at her with intense golden eyes.

Then I saw something I’d never seen before: Alice flustered. She retracted her hand and stuttered her acknowledgment. “It’s…it’s…nice…” She hesitated before continuing. “I’m sorry. Uhm….it’s nice to make your acquaintance as well.” She smiled politely, then backed away, but all was not well in Alice’s vampire world, and Jasper’s sudden appearance at her side confirmed my suspicion.

“Why don’t we go into the house where we can all talk comfortably?” Carlisle suggested. “It looks like it might rain.”

Rhodes chuckled, breaking the tension in the air. “Oh good, because I can’t get my hair wet.”

As we made our way across the lawn and to the front steps I heard Carlisle comment on her hair. “It looks quite different than when we last saw each other.” He laughed quietly.

“Five million centuries with the same drab brown. Ugh! I wanted something different for a change. I sort of like this tea rose color. Do you?” she asked, smiling.

Daniel guffawed. “Tea rose?! It’s Barbie-On-Crack Pink, Rhodes!” he exclaimed, laughing. Michael laughed along with him at her expense.

It was obviously a well-worn joke between them, because Rhodes didn’t look offended. I felt like laughing, too, but I held back. Vampires had a nasty habit of whipping out these weird-assed gifts when you least expected it, and we had no idea what talents these three possessed. But I had to agree with Daniel. I had no idea what tea rose looked like, but plain old pink wasn’t an accurate description either. Her long, thick hair was more like blazing hot pink, a titty bar flashing neon sign pink, the kind of pink that would damage your retinas if you looked at it directly, like with an eclipse. But whatever floated her boat.

“I didn’t know vampires could color their hair,” I murmured to Edward as we pulled up the rear.

“Neither did I,” Edward said. “But I think Rhodes and Rose are going to get along well together.”

* * *

 

Introductions had been made all around the room, except for Bella, Renesmee and Esme who were still upstairs, and Leah who was still out running the perimeter. Everyone else was gathered around the dining room table, anxious to learn more about the new vampires in town. Rhodes, Michael and Daniel were seated on one side of the table, with Michael in the middle and one of them sitting on either side of him. Carlisle sat at the head and Edward at the other end. The rest either occupied seats or stood. I leaned against the wall with Seth by my side, preferring to keep a low profile and just observe. Alice, I noticed, was standing behind Jasper and not saying much, her gaze focused mostly on Michael. _Something weird going on there…_

A few minutes was spent with everyone gushing over Daniel’s car: a Ferrari California 4-seater. Emmett looked like he was about to shoot his wad as they talked horsepower and torque. It was an interesting conversation—I’d sure like to mess around under the hood of that baby—but the dynamics in the room were a lot more interesting to me at the moment. Rhodes was cautiously eyeballing everyone, just like out in the driveway. Daniel was animated and friendly, but his eyes kept landing on me and Seth, even while he talked. He wasn’t just trying to include us in the conversation. He was watching us, studying us. And Michael, the really strange one who totally creeped me out, was mostly quiet, but his gaze strayed to Alice more than once during the car conversation.

Michael finally spoke when Carlisle asked where their trip had originated. “We live in San Francisco. I would have preferred a more leisurely trip—a couple of weeks, with some time to see the sights along the way—but Daniel has an extreme obsession with fast automobiles. Everything blurred by us so fast we couldn’t even see it. Frankly, I’m surprised we made it here without multiple encounters with the police. I fully expected to accumulate enough speeding tickets to wallpaper our living room.”

Daniel rolled his eyes and grinned, while snickers went around the room.

“Well, he’s in good company,” Carlisle said, smiling fondly at the rest of the Cullens. “We have a bit of an obsession with fast cars ourselves, as you can probably tell. “

“Personally, I miss the days when you could take a nice, quiet ride in a horse and buggy on a lazy Sunday afternoon without all the noise and the horns and the thumping music,” Michael continued.

Carlisle nodded and smiled. “How fondly I remember those days, Michael. I took many a buggy ride myself.”

Daniel grimaced. “I remember them, too. They were slow and boring.”

Everyone at the table laughed and was probably grateful to Daniel for heading off the tired old When-I-Was-Your-Age story that was coming.

“What did you want to see me about?” Rhodes asked when the laughter faded. I silently thanked her for changing the subject, because I was ready to get to the heart of things. “Your letter only said it was urgent, but didn’t give any specifics.”

The small talk was over. Everyone focused their attention on Carlisle. “It’s a sensitive matter, not something that should be written down,” Carlisle explained. He nodded at Edward. “Edward will explain.”

Heads turned to the opposite end of the table. “I’m married to a human…Bella. Our child was born two days ago.”

The reaction of the three vamps was instantaneous. They were obviously surprised, but it was Michael whose eyes glittered with intense interest. “A hybrid? Here in this house??” Michael asked softly.

Edward nodded. “A little girl.” Then he directed his comments to Rhodes. “Carlisle said you might have encountered this situation before, since you’ve done a lot of traveling. We can’t find any reliable information about what to expect. Can you help us?”

“As a matter of fact, I _have_ seen this before, in South America,” she said.

We listened as Rhodes told of her encounter with a hybrid male in Chile. His name was Nahuel and he was born of a vampire father and human mother. He’d been sixty years old at the time she’d met him in the late 1800s, but had looked like a young man in his late teens or early twenties. She explained that hybrids matured, physically and mentally, very quickly, then stopped growing physically once they reached adulthood.

“Was Nahuel venomous?” Carlisle asked when she paused.

“Yes. His aunt delivered him, pulling him from his mother’s lifeless body. As soon as he caught her scent, he bit her, and she changed.”

“Curious,” Carlisle commented softly. “My granddaughter is non-venomous, but she is growing very quickly, as you stated. Do you know how long will it take for her to reach adulthood?”

“If she is like Nahuel, she will be fully mature in about seven years,” Rhodes answered.

Stunned silence fell over the room as everyone digested this shocking piece of information.

“Seven years??” Seth whispered in surprise. “Wow.”

“Does your wife still live?” Michael asked softly, directing his question to Edward. It didn’t escape my attention that Daniel had laid a comforting hand on Michael’s forearm. _Interesting…_

Edward briefly explained the C-section and the fact that the birth had gone smoothly. Both Bella and her baby were in perfect health.

“Timing is everything,” Michael murmured.

_Whatever the hell that meant._

Daniel squeezed his forearm and then slid his hand away.

“Can we see your child?” Michael asked.

Eyes darted back and forth around the table, and I could tell what was going through everyone’s thoughts: Can we trust them? Seth stiffened at Michael’s request, but he managed to keep his objections to himself and allow Renesmee’s father to make the decision, which was a pretty mature thing for him to do. I wasn’t sure I could have done the same if I were in his shoes. These three vamps were weird, and if it was my decision, I wouldn’t let them within a mile of someone I loved. Of course, it was already too late for that.

“Of course,” Edward answered, rising from the table and shocking the shit out of everyone in the room with his answer. “I’ll just go upstairs and let Bella know you’re coming.”

As Edward passed me, I let him know what I thought about it.  _ **Are you out of your fucking mind??!**_

“It’s all right,” Edward whispered. He nodded his assurance at Seth, and Seth visibly relaxed.

As Edward left the room, I sensed eyes on me, and sure enough, Daniel was looking our way very curiously.

* * *

 

**~ BELLA ~**

I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of some strange vampires ogling my precious baby like she was an oddity in a freak show, but I had to trust Edward, and he’d me assured it was safe, that Alice hadn’t foreseen anything bad happening.

Within minutes, Carlisle entered the bedroom with the three vampires trailing behind him. Introductions were made, with handshakes and polite greetings. The woman, Rhodes, was stunning, even with her bright pink hair. She could definitely give Rose some competition in the beauty department. I immediately liked Daniel. He had that same mischievous twinkle in his eyes that Emmett had, and he was warm and friendly. Michael seemed reserved, very mannerly and soft spoken, like a country gentleman from centuries past.

“May I hold your child?” Michael asked politely.

I glanced Edward’s way. He nodded to reassure me. I was doing some mandatory therapeutic sitting in a wing-backed chair, but was still sore from the incisions, so I let Edward do the honors. Michael settled onto the sofa with Daniel and Rhodes sitting on either side. Edward gently deposited a gurgling Renesmee into his arms, then stepped back a bit to watch.

Daniel tenderly touched her tiny arm. “The same luster to her skin.”

Rhodes ran a finger very lightly down her other arm and smiled tenderly.

Michael nodded. “The blush on her cheeks. The strong heartbeat.”

Daniel leaned forward and looked over at me. “Does she sleep?”

I nodded. “Yes. All night.”

Daniel laid a hand on Michael’s arm. “Do you remember when we used to stand by his bed and watch him sleep for hours at a time?”

I glanced up at Edward with a curious frown. Who were they referring to? Edward nodded ever so slightly, letting me know that he was listening and would fill me in later. The silence went on far too long. I began to wonder if Michael was ignoring Daniel or just didn’t want to answer his question in front of us.

“He slept in a drawer?” Michael asked, his voice soft and hesitant. He sounded like he wasn’t sure, which was very strange. I’d never met a vampire who wasn’t an expert on everything and who could instantly give you an answer to any question you posed to them, no matter how complex the topic. _Weird._

I glanced at Edward again; he was watching Michael very closely. Something was going on, and once again it frustrated me to be so helplessly human.

“Yes,” Daniel answered patiently. “We didn’t have a crib, so we made do with what we had.”

“I remember,” Michael said softly. “It was very…peaceful.”

Rhodes laid a comforting hand on his arm for a few moments, then pulled away.

At that moment, Renesmee lifted her arms, reaching up for Michael with her tiny hands.

“She wants to touch your face,” I said, smiling inside at what I was about to witness. I never grew tired of seeing the effect my beautiful child had on others when she communicated with her gift.

Michael lowered his face and her small hands came to rest on his cheeks. He gasped loudly, then smiled wondrously.

“Michael,” he answered, then explained to the other two that she’d asked him his name. “She communicates with her thoughts??” he asked, shocked.

Edward and I nodded, smiling proudly.

“Renesmee,” he repeated softly. “That’s a beautiful name.”

They spend quite a bit of time passing her gently between them so Renesmee could touch each one and introduce herself, as well as learn their names. The happiness and smiles she brought to their faces made my initial nervousness melt away. There was kindness in their words and they were so careful with her. I could tell Rhodes was fascinated with Renesmee and would have probably loved to hold her longer, but it was Michael and Daniel who were the most smitten. They marveled quietly over every little detail of her appearance, and the adoration in their voices wasn’t hard to miss.

I looked up at Edward. His expression was carefully guarded, but he couldn’t keep the sadness from his eyes. What was he hearing in their thoughts?

“You can’t let Aro know of her existence,” Daniel said rather unexpectedly.

“We know,” Edward said quietly. “Aro can be quite intolerant of anything different…as you well know.”

Two vampire heads shot up at Edward’s comment. Michael was slower to react. Daniel studied Edward and nodded to himself, as if answering an unspoken question. “You can hear our thoughts.”

Edward nodded. “I’m so very sorry about your son.”

“We need to go,” Rhodes stated firmly, standing and interjecting herself into the conversation rather abruptly. “Is there a nice motel nearby?”

“Bella and I are living here temporarily. You can stay in our cottage. It’s on the property, but far enough away to afford you some privacy,” Edward answered graciously. He retrieved Renesmee from Michael’s arms and handed her to me. “I’ll give you directions.”

“Thank you,” Rhodes answered, her voice suddenly very business-like and formal. She ushered Michael and Daniel unceremoniously from the room, and they didn’t put up any objections.

“I’ll be back in a little while, love,” Edward said as he followed them out the door.

So, Michael and Daniel had had a hybrid son? And he was dead because of Aro?? A wave of panic raced through me as chill bumps rose all over my body. Was Renesmee in danger?

* * *

 

**~ EDWARD ~**

“Give us the low-down,” Emmett said, his arms crossed over his chest, his dark eyes focused on my face. “Everything. Every little detail we missed.”

Our three guests were comfortably settled into the cottage well out of our range of hearing, which worked both ways, thankfully. Everyone was grouped around the dining room table again, waiting for me to tell them what I’d plucked from our three vampires’ heads. Alice was huddled up against Jasper’s side like she was trying to draw warmth from his body. I could hear the uneasiness in her thoughts, despite her trying to hide it from me. She had good reason to be uneasy.

“First of all, I heard nothing in their thoughts that would indicate anything but friendliness. No ill will that I could detect. Rhodes felt she owed you a debt of gratitude—“ I glanced at Carlisle and he nodded. “—for helping her get Michael out of Volterra, so she willingly came here to offer whatever assistance she could give you. The other two just came along for the ride, as far as I can tell.”

“Are they…you know…together?” Emmett asked, snickering.

I sighed at how predictable Emmett could be, but before I could answer, Jasper beat me to it. “They’re very close,” Jasper answered. “I sense a very strong commitment between the three of them. They love each other deeply.”

Before Emmett could turn his knowing smirk into an inappropriate comment, I looked over at Jake. “Daniel is very curious about you and Seth. He spent the entire time trying to figure out what you are. He knows something is different about you—and I have no idea how he knows that—but he can’t figure it out.”

Jake laughed quietly. “All I can say is good luck with that. He’ll never guess.”

“He was also interested in Bella, although he hid it very well. I would have never known if I hadn’t heard the curiosity in his thoughts.”

The room fell silent as everyone, including me, tried to figure out why Daniel would be so fascinated with a mere human. I intended to find out, even if I had to confront him directly.

“While they were visiting with Remesmee, I learned that Michael had a hybrid son, Matthew. I didn’t get all the details—when he was born and who the mother was—but I got enough to figure out that he’s dead, and that Aro killed him for some unknown reason. The grief is still fresh in Daniel and Michael’s minds; the loss they both feel is very deep. I don’t think Rhodes was involved in that, because her thoughts were more sympathetic in nature, instead of sad.”

“We cannot let Aro get wind of Renesmee’s birth,” Carlisle said with steely resolve. “The man is becoming increasingly unstable as the centuries pass.”

No comment was needed. Everyone in the room knew the extent of Aro’s madness, as well as his unpredictability. The wolf pack wasn’t the only worry we had.

“Is that it??” Emmett asked.

Far from it. “Michael Golland,” I stated simply.

“That vamp is just plain weird,” Jake offered from the corner.

I nodded. “He’s definitely…different.”

Carlisle was instantly curious. “How so?”

“I’ve never encountered a mind like Michael’s,” I answered, pondering how I was going to explain to Carlisle something I didn’t even understand myself. “His thoughts are very—” I searched for the correct word to describe what I’d heard in his head, and wasn’t sure one even existed. “—sluggish. Slow. Unusually slow for a vampire. When you commented that it was very good to see him after all these years, he didn’t know when that was, at least not at first. He had to search his mind for the memory. He found it in a few seconds, but it was still way too long considering he’s a vampire. The only conclusion I can come to is that either his mind is damaged or it never worked right to begin with.”

“A mentally impaired vampire. That’s a new one,” Jake said, snickering.

“It definitely is,” I said, and I wasn’t laughing. I’d never encountered a vampire like Michael Golland. He was an enigma.

“Did you notice how protective the other two were with him?” Jake asked. “He’s a vampire, but they hovered over him like he was a helpless human child.”

“I did notice that,” I acknowledged. “But I don’t know why.”

I stopped and all eyes were focused on me. What I was about to say was going to change lives. I hoped for the better, but with secrets like this, one never knew. But I couldn’t keep this knowledge to myself, even if it was what our guests wanted. It wouldn’t be fair to the parties involved.

“Anything else?” Carlisle asked, noticing my hesitation.

I turned my gaze to Alice and Jasper. “All three of them know you, Alice.”

She gasped; a look of panic swept over her face. “But I only know Daniel! I’ve never met the other two!”

It wasn’t rocket science. We all put two and two together pretty quickly, even though Alice was trying not to. “They knew you when you were human,” I said softly.

Her eyes widened, then without another word, she fled the room, with Jasper running after her. Silent glances were exchanged as everyone digested the information. Alice had always wanted answers about her past. It looked like she was finally going to get them.

* * *

 

**~ DANIEL ~**

“That house is full of powerful vampires,” Rhodes stated. “I don’t know their gifts, but I can sense them. Then there are those two human boys who look like they’re on steroids. Who the hell are they?? We need to be careful, guys.”

“They invited you here, Rhodes,” Michael said calmly. “Both of us know and trust Carlisle. There’s no subterfuge going on.”

“You need to chill, babe,” I said, winking playfully at her.

She poked her hands onto her hips and glared at me. I loved it when she did that. “Don’t ‘babe’ me! I’d just feel better if I knew all their gifts up front instead of having to accidentally discover them, like with Edward. Now they know everything about us, but we know nothing about them, except for Carlisle!”

I stood up from the sofa and crossed the room, folding her into my arms despite her objections. “It’s going to be okay,” I whispered into her ear, then gave her lobe a little nibble for good measure.

She growled playfully and wiggled out of my arms, flouncing down on the sofa beside of Michael. “I’m worried about you,” she said. “How are you going to deal with Alice? I’d bet the last drop of blood in my body that Edward’s already told her we know her.”

I’d like to know the answer to that myself. To say we’d been shocked to see her would have been an understatement. Never in a million years would I have imagined meeting up with her again, and Michael’s reaction worried me.

“If she’s amenable, I’ll tell her everything she wants to know. If she doesn’t bring it up, I’ll let it lie. It’s up to her,” he said.

“When you spoke to her in the driveway, it almost looked as if she remembered you, but how could she?” I asked.

“Residual memories,” he said, shrugging. “I’m not perfect, Daniel, contrary to what you may believe. I could have left something behind, or perhaps there’s an expiration date. I don’t know.”

I joined them on the sofa, scooting up close to my mate and tenderly pushing his cowlick away from his forehead. He flinched away from me.

“Would you leave my hair alone??”

I grinned at his fake grouchiness. “If I had a dollar for every time you’ve told me that, we’d own Wall Street. I’m worried about you. If you want to leave right now, we will. I don’t want you upset over Alice.”

He glared at me. “Contrary to what the both of you might think, I’m not a china doll. I’m not going to crumble anytime soon, so you can quit hovering over me like two paranoid mother hens. Alice appears to be very happy, but to be honest, I hope she asks me about the past. I think I’d find great solace in finally being able to apologize in person for everything that happened back then.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” I said softly, grasping his hand and threading his fingers in with mine. “You did everything in your power to keep her safe. You had no choice.”

He squeezed my hand, but stayed silent, not offering any rebuttal. Deep down he knew he’d taken the only option available to him at the time. Surely Alice would understand once she knew all the facts.

“Oh, and those human boys you were talking about? Jake and Seth?” I leaned forward and looked over at Rhodes with a smug grin. “They’re not human.”

Her mouth flew open and Michael frowned, his curiosity piqued.

“There’s a very subtle difference in the hum I hear from a human versus an animal. Those two are definitely animals, and they’re very powerful, too.”

“Really?” Michael commented softly, curiosity dancing in his eyes. He’d always loved puzzles and enjoyed discovering the truth of the mysteries behind them. “How could they be animals when they look completely human?”

I shrugged.

“Skinwalkers?” Rhodes suggested. “I’ve never actually seen any. I thought that was just a legend.”

“And Bella? She’s got the loudest hum I’ve heard in a very long time. Her handshake shocked the bejesus out of me. She’s going to be a very powerful little vamp, if they ever decide to change her.”

Michael smiled. “I think you’ve given us two very good reasons to stick around Forks for awhile. There are just too many mysteries around here that need to be solved.”

Making Michael smile was what I lived for, and making him happy in the process was just icing on my cake. “The only mystery I care about right now is who you’re going to sleep with tonight.” I grinned and winked at him.

He sighed expansively and shook his head. “Sorry, not in the mood.”

I looked at Rhodes; she looked at me. We grinned and pounced. In the process of dragging Michael’s ass off the couch, the coffee table got upended and the couch flipped over backwards. Unfortunately, a lamp wobbled on the side table and eventually crashed to the floor, breaking into several pieces. Amid the raucous laughter, and Michael’s completely fake protests about being sexually assaulted against his will, we all three ended up in each other’s embrace on the huge throw rug in the middle of the floor, me curled under one of his arms, and Rhodes underneath the other.

“I feel violated,” Michael complained weakly.

I pushed up onto one elbow and smiled down at him. He smiled back and the love I saw in his eyes made me warm all over, especially in one area.

“Why does sex with you always feel like I’ve just gone ten rounds in a boxing ring?” he asked, frowning good-naturedly.

I laughed quietly and kissed him to shut him up.

I sighed in contentment as his fingers threaded into my hair and Rhodes’ hand found its way to my ass.

 

 

 

 

 


	25. This Changes Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have read "In Search of Forever" and the accompanying outtakes that go with it, I think you will enjoy this chapter. I fill in a lot of gaps in the story of Michael and Daniel—gaps that should rightly be their own story, but which I know I will never have time to write. So, you get the short version, but at least you get it. LOL
> 
> For those of you who haven't read ISOF, I'm not sure you will understand this chapter. I'm not apologizing for that because I warned everyone a long time ago I would eventually intermingle the plots of my other stories in with this one. It all makes sense, IF you are familiar with my original characters and their back stories. If it doesn't make sense, then I would highly recommend you go read In Search of Forever (which is, unfortunately, not complete yet) and the outtakes that go with it.
> 
> Remember, canon is totally out the window. This is completely MY story now.

**~ BELLA ~**

When I realized I had read the same passage three times, and had no idea what I’d just read, I closed the book and set it aside. I couldn’t concentrate. Not even Emily Bronte could distract me from the crazy thoughts running through my head.

Everyone had decided—without even asking my opinion, of course—that I needed some quiet time to myself to rest and relax. So, Rosalie had happily carted Renesmee off to some other room in the house, with Esme and Rhodes trailing along behind, all of them cooing. Jake, Seth, Emmett and Daniel were apparently out in the garage making love to Daniel’s Porsche, which I’d only managed to catch a quick glimpse of from my bedroom window. Leah was running the perimeter. I imagine the stench around the Cullen house was her greatest motivator for volunteering. Edward, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and the disquieting Michael were meeting in the den, probably at this very moment. Edward had told me last night all three of our visitors had known Alice when she’d been human—he’d heard the proof in their thoughts. Alice was finally going to get the answers she’d always wanted.

And I was stuck in this bedroom with nothing to do but worry over everything: the safety of my child, how I was going to break all of this to Charlie, along with the lingering threat from Sam and the pack. Add in my pouting over the fact that I was the weakest link in the Cullen family chain, and you ended up with one stressed out human. My precious baby could be in danger, and I was powerless to protect her. I was her mother. I should be able to do that without depending on others to do it for me.

I had no idea how I was going to handle Charlie, but I knew one thing for certain: when I was finally changed, no one was going to boss me around anymore, and absolutely no one would dare threaten anyone I loved. My patience with that had reached its limit a long time ago. I’d rip them to pieces with my newborn strength and not think twice about it now. But, the fact remained I was still human, surrounded by a family of caring, but annoyingly overprotective, vampires, who certainly meant well, but who were getting on my last nerve with their attentiveness. I guessed I should be thankful they thought me strong enough to be left alone, or else I’d have a babysitter in the room right now.

_When I am finally changed…_

No one, not even Edward, could conceive of the crazy thoughts that had been racing around in my head lately. If Alice had detected anything, she’d made no mention of it. I hoped that was because she was too distracted by our visitors to notice, because Edward would probably flip out if he knew I’d been contemplating having another child. Immediately after Renesmee’s birth, I’d found myself day dreaming of another piece of Edward, two beautiful children with the man I loved. Her birth had been so easy, and now that Carlisle knew how to balance the baby’s nutritional needs with my own health, a second pregnancy wouldn’t be dangerous. Maybe a boy this time?

But then Michael and Daniel had ruined my dreams with their talk of death and the Volturi. The thought of Renesmee being in danger from that vampire thug had forced me to reconsider the idea of having another child. If I were changed tomorrow, I could use my newfound vampire gift— whatever that would be—to help protect my family. But what if my gift turned out to be useless? Not every vampire could read minds, see the future or become exceptionally strong. It would be my luck I’d turn out to be the gawkiest vampire in existence. My only comfort would be that if I fell off a cliff from stumbling over a pebble, at least I’d fall with grace and beauty, nor would I die when I hit the bottom. There was that.

What should I do?

I sighed and looked around the room for something to distract me. After a few moments of trying to conjure up some ideas for entertaining myself, without success, a soft knock sounded at the door, followed by a request to come in. I recognized Daniel’s voice, and just the thought of seeing him again made me smile.

“Come in, Daniel!” I hoped he hadn’t heard the desperation in my voice.

I watched him enter and shut the door behind him, look around for somewhere to sit and finally decide upon the chair next to me. He was a big guy, almost Emmett’s size, and looked strong as an ox. I imagined he could be scary when angered, but the man sitting next to me appeared to be a very personable guy, quick to laugh and even quicker to make friends—one of those people you immediately liked without knowing why. He was incredibly handsome, with a muscular frame, golden eyes that sparkled with mischief and thick, dark hair. Not even in Edward’s league, of course, but I was sure he turned a lot of heads wherever he went.

We exchanged the usual pleasantries: him asking how I was, and me answering I was fine unless a person could die from boredom, which, if that were the case, then I was breathing my last breaths. His crooked smile and accompanying snicker made me relax. Like Seth, Daniel seemed to be a calming influence upon me.

“Edward said you wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes, I wanted to talk to you…about Matthew.” All I knew was the little they’d revealed when they’d visited Renesmee: that they’d had a hybrid son and Aro had killed him. Edward had told me his name was Matthew, but hadn’t been able to fill in any of the other missing pieces of that story, and I hadn’t been able to get it out of mind.

“Can you tell me about him? And about his mother?” The expression on his face changed dramatically, from friendly and interested to somber and closed. I hurriedly added an addendum. “It’s just that, I feel a strange kinship with a woman who’s been through this, even if she’s…” I stopped, because I felt like I was just digging the hole deeper. “I’m sorry. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. I understand. It must be very difficult for you. I can’t even imagine.”

He smiled sadly. “It is difficult, and that’s the most annoying thing about being a vampire. We do everything so quickly: run, jump, swim, think. All the physical things in life are so easy for us. We can crack open our skull against a rock and the wound closes in moments. But the emotional wounds, they take much longer to heal, sometimes centuries.” He stared silently at the floor, looking sad and making me wish I’d never brought up the topic.

Suddenly straightened and slapped his thighs. “Well, I’m just a depressing bastard, aren’t I?” He snickered, his face brightening, making me smile with him. “There’s one thing you need to know before I start. I’m gay, but maybe you figured that out already. I don’t try to hide it. I’ve been homosexual since the moment I opened my eyes as a wee babe back in England. And Michael is my mate.”

I commented I hadn’t noticed which we both knew was me just being polite. It had been pretty obvious when he and Michael had visited Renesmee that they were very close, which left me wondering about Rhodes. If Michael was Daniel’s mate, what the heck was Rhodes? Just a friend? Or more? It really wasn’t any of my business, but it was a very curious situation.

I listened with interest as he told the story of his life with Michael. They’d met in England in 1641 and he’d fallen blindly in love with the “stubborn fucker” (his words). But he smiled as he said them and I heard nothing but adoration in his voice. He skimmed over a lot—like how and when he was changed— and moved on to the circumstances that transformed both of their lives forever.

They’d been visiting London in 1666. Michael had hoped to find someone to teach them both how to read. They’d practiced a bit of deception, using Michael’s gift, to get an invitation to a lavish party where many noble men and women would be in attendance. It was at that party they first met Katherine. She was carrying a book in her hand that night—something about witchcraft in London—and that was what had caught Michael’s attention.

“She was the She-Bitch from Hell,” Daniel said, smirking. “I’m not going to lie and try to sugar coat it for you. I hated that snooty wench from the first moment I laid eyes on her. She was beautiful, but had a mouth on her that would make a sailor blush—the foulest language I’d ever heard a female use.” He grinned mischievously. “And she hated me, too. Imagine that?”

But his good humor faded as he told of Michael’s growing infatuation with her, and how their reading lessons started out with the three of them, then quickly dwindled down to just her and Michael. He’d seen the writing on the wall very early on. His mate was falling in love right before his eyes and there was nothing he could do to stop it. They fought over it many times until Daniel just couldn’t take any more.

“So, I left him.” He sighed. “I know this all sounds like a bad soap opera. You sure you want to hear the rest?”

I nodded, so he continued. He moved out of their shared flat and found a small house on the outskirts of London, far enough away that he wouldn’t cross paths with them, but still close if Michael needed him. It was only two months later that Michael had knocked on his door, asking entrance. That was when he’d broken the news that Katherine was carrying his child.

“We were shocked,” he said, shaking his head, remembering. “I’m sure you can relate to that. He had no idea something like that could happen. He didn’t know what to do and neither did I. Katherine was determined to have the baby, and Michael couldn’t convince her otherwise.”

Listening to the rest was like hearing a narration of the last two months of my life. I could have just changed the names and it would have been my story. She deteriorated quickly, just like I had, except in 1666 there was no advanced medical care. She was quite literally starving to death as the child took what it needed to live from her body. She got so weak that Michael had to do everything for her, just like Edward had carried me to the bathroom when I’d gotten too weak to walk. He cared for her every moment of the day and night, and I imagined his guilt was enormous, just like Edward’s had been.

“Then all hell broke loose on Sunday, September 2, 1666,” he said softly. His change in tone got my attention. “I remember going out onto the terrace that evening because I smelled smoke and thought maybe the woods surrounding my house were on fire. The sky in the distance was glowing orange and red, and that acrid smell was heavy in the air. The city was burning. In case you’re not familiar with England’s history, that was the Great Fire of London. Four days of hell. Between Sunday and Wednesday over 13,000 buildings burned to the ground and 70,000 people were left homeless. Only a few died, and Katherine was one of them.”

What followed had me wiping tears from my eyes. Even though Katherine was long dead, my heart hurt so badly for her, for what she’d gone through to bring the child of the man she loved into this world.

Daniel had immediately set out for the city, heading straight for their apartments. The fire had already reached their building when he arrived. He dashed up the flight of stairs through a fog of heavy smoke, pounded open their door, only to find the most hellish sight imaginable: Katherine lying in her spacious bed in a large pool of blood, her body ripped open, a baby lying on the floor, crying and forgotten, and Michael frozen in place like the marble statues in the cemetery.

“I finally got him to come to his senses. He wanted to change her, but it was too late. The fire had already reached the room. The bed clothes were starting to burn and the wallpaper was smoldering, ready to burst into flames at any moment. I grabbed a piece of clothing lying across a chair and wrapped the baby in it. I had to physically drag Michael from the burning room. He fought me every step of the way, screaming that he didn’t want to leave her in the fire, that he wanted to change her, and that I was a heartless bastard for letting her die. But the truth was, she was already dead, the room was ablaze—her hair caught just as we were leaving—and I refused to allow Michael to kill himself trying to save her.

“He didn’t speak one word to me, or even look at his own child, for three days after that,” Daniel continued.

He bathed the boy, washed Katherine’s blood from his tiny body, then hunted for him, giving him his first taste of animal blood. He watched him sleep in a dresser drawer—the only thing he had that was close to being a crib—while Michael stood on the terrace and stared at nothing. On the fourth day, after a morning spent pleading with him and shouting at him for ignoring his own child, Michael finally came out of his shell and began to take an interest in his son.

“Things got better after that,” Daniel said, nodding. “Together we watched in utter amazement as this little boy he and Katherine had created grew and learned. He completely changed our existence, for the better.”

“Tell me about Matthew,” I said. I wanted to pick Daniel’s brain for every minute detail about vampire hybrids that I could.

I listened in fascination as he spoke of his son. Even though he’d had no blood ties to Matthew, it was obvious as he talked that Daniel had loved him as if he’d been his own. I discovered that Matthew grew very quickly—inches every day—and Renesmee seemed to be doing the same. She’d gotten an inch longer since yesterday, according to Carlisle. Matthew could eat human food, as well as blood and, according to Daniel, he was quite happy with both, depending on his mood at any given time. He was non-venomous, a fact they’d discovered after he’d bitten another little boy in anger. He was exceptionally intelligent, as was Renesmee, and Daniel laughed when he spoke of the frustration of trying to keep his inquisitive mind occupied. He was always asking questions and testing the limits of their knowledge.

“The little bugger was sneaky, too,” Daniel said, chuckling. “He could disappear quick as a wink, and that’s saying something when your parents are two vampires. We ran ourselves ragged trying to stay one step ahead of him. Oh, and did I mention he cursed like a sailor? Jesus Fucking Christ on a cross was his favorite oath.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, but Daniel’s laughter was so infectious, I had no choice but to join him. Just the thought of an adorable, but precocious, little boy who was the offspring of the calm and reserved Michael, throwing around the eff word in the 17th century made me want to giggle hysterically.

“Of course, he got his foul mouth from me.” He snickered. “I was rather coarse in those days. But, according to Michael, I’ve polished up quite nicely in the last couple of centuries. I’m almost presentable now.”

I smiled as Daniel continued to share his memories of Matthew: the time he’d tried to build a house with his wooden blocks that was taller than the Tower of London and had cursed a blue streak when they’d fallen over into a pile; the time he’d sneaked off to go hunting by himself and had gone missing for several hours while two frantic parents had searched high and low for him; the time he’d asked why he didn’t have a mother like the other boys, and when they’d explained it to him truthfully, he’d asked if it was his fault his mother was dead.

Daniel stopped and the room grew quiet. I fought to hold back my tears as I tried to imagine how a little boy could possibly deal with something like that.

“We lost him when he was the equivalent of eight years old,” Daniel said suddenly, avoiding my eyes and staring at the floor. “We’d only had him for three short years when Aro decided to intervene. Matthew got away from me one day while we were hunting and the Volturi found him before Michael and I did. He accused us of creating a child vampire until he touched Matthew and actually saw his birth through his memories. So, then he switched tactics.” Daniel sighed and finally looked up from the floor. “It’s a long story, but in a nutshell, Aro had wanted Michael to join the Volturi and Michael had refused him repeatedly. There was more to it than that, of course, but in the end, Aro saw a way to finally punish Michael for being uncooperative. We begged for Matthew’s life. Michael said he’d do anything Aro asked if he’d just spare Matthew and give him to me to raise. He’d join the Volturi that very minute. But Aro had already made up his mind. Vengeance was more important to him than gaining another member in his loathsome coven. He killed our son with his own hands right in front of us. Beheaded him and then threw his body to the ground like it was nothing but rubbish.”

“Oh God.” I clapped a hand over my mouth to hold in the sobs.

I reached out to him to try and offer some small bit of comfort, even though I knew it was too little and way too late. He met my gaze and I saw no sadness in his eyes. They were hot with hatred— a fiery yellow rage, the same color as an angry sky looking down on a burning city. The vampire I’d thought to be so friendly had morphed into a very scary man. But I wasn’t afraid of him. On the contrary, I understood his anger. At that very moment, I knew I would kill anyone who tried to harm Renesmee, even Aro. I’d do it or I would die trying. I would never let what happened to Matthew happen to my precious piece of Edward.

“You can’t ever let Aro know of Renesmee’s existence, if you can help it. Especially if you have something he wants.” He hesitated. “Do you?”

I froze as I remembered a conversation I’d had with Edward many months ago. “He wants Alice and Edward to join the Volturi so he can exploit their gifts.”

Daniel snorted bitterly. “Sounds familiar. He wanted Michael’s gift, too.” He must have finally noticed my alarm—or else my trembling gave me away—because he gently grabbed my hand. “We’re going to hang around for awhile, so don’t worry. We’ll help protect your little girl.”

That was reassuring and I appreciated his thoughtfulness, but what I really wanted was to feel useful for once and not so damned helpless in every dangerous situation I seemed to find myself in. I wanted to protect my own child and not peer out from behind the Cullens’ backs in fear while they did it for me. Now more than ever, I craved immortality, not just so I could spend forever with Edward, but so I could finally be strong and stand up for myself and my family. I wanted immortality and equality.

“Not being nosy, but does Edward plan to change you?” he asked suddenly as if he’d been reading my mind, or perhaps it was just my frustration showing plainly on my face that clued him in.

“Eventually,” I answered. “We haven’t set a date yet.”

Daniel nodded. “Then there’s something you need to know.”

He explained how he heard a hum around some humans and animals, and that the presence of that hum meant there was something different about them, something that wasn’t ordinary. And even more curious, he said when he touched people or animals with a hum, he got an electrical shock from them as well. As he’d become more familiar with his gift through the centuries—and I noticed that he didn’t go into any detail on exactly how he’d become familiar with it—he’d learned the hum meant the human had a potential vampire gift—the louder the hum, the more likelihood the human would be supernaturally talented. The electrical shock was a power indicator, he explained. The stronger the shock, the more powerful their gift would be.

“You have one of the loudest hums, and the strongest shock, of any human I’ve encountered in a very long time,” he said. He squeezed my hand and grinned. “Bella, you are going to be one bad-ass motherfucking vampire chick. Pardon my French.”

I was shocked. Stunned. Too flabbergasted to even speak. Me, a powerful vampire??

“Are you serious?” I finally asked. I just couldn’t wrap my head around Little Bells—as Charlie had so fondly called me when he’d patted my head as a child—being a bad-ass motherfucking vampire chick.

“If I could predict stock futures as accurately as I can predict vampire gifts, I’d own this planet,” he answered, chuckling. “The only thing I can’t tell you is what your gift is going to be. That’s God’s department.”

I thought about that for a few moments. I wanted to get this straight in my head. There was no room for confusion here. This was too important. “So, you’re saying I’m definitely going to have a gift?”

“Yes.”

“And I’m going to be strong?”

He laughed. “Every vampire is strong. You’re going to be _powerful,_ Bella. There’s a huge difference. Trust me. I’ve never been wrong on this.”

I smiled. _Well, this certainly changes things._

 

**MATTHEW GOLLAND (CHARCOAL DRAWING BY DANIEL)**

 

**KATHERINE, MATTHEW'S MOTHER**


	26. The Past Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter that deals mostly with my original characters. (For those of you who have no idea what’s going on, I’m sure that’s good news.) For those of you who were following In Search of Forever, you will (I hope) be very happy with this chapter. Basically what you’re getting is my rough outline for the rest of ISOF, minus all the angsty details, (at which I excel). You’ll discover Michael’s second and most powerful gift and you’ll probably do a face palm and wonder how in the world you didn’t guess it before now.

**~ BELLA ~**

Edward stole into our bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. He winked at me, then made a beeline for Renesmee’s crib. I smiled as I watched my husband—and the father of my beautiful child—bend over and lay a tender kiss on his daughter’s forehead.

“Has she been asleep long?” he whispered as he slid in bed beside me. He tucked my blanket around me to protect me from his chill, then pulled me close against him.

“About twenty minutes or so,” I answered, snuggling and breathing in his sweet smell. “Poor thing. She was already worn out from all the attention, then Seth stopped by to check on her. She went out like a light after that.”

Edward asked after my health. Was I in pain? Did I need any medicine to help me sleep? Was I hungry? Did I need a back rub? I whacked him playfully on one cool marble arm and told him to stop hovering over me, that I was fine. He glared playfully back, observing that the word ‘fine’ should be removed from the English language, because it was hardly ever used properly. When a person said they were fine, they usually weren’t, he said knowingly.

“Okay.” I sighed. “You win. I’m still sore and my stitches are starting to itch a teeny bit, but I don’t need any medicine to sleep. Really. I’ll sleep fine now that you’re here.”

“So how did your visit with Daniel go?” he asked, thankfully moving on to another subject.

“We’ll talk about that later. Right now, I want to hear all about the conversation with Alice and Michael. She must be so relieved to finally get answers about her human life.”

“She is,” Edward said, nodding. “But she’s a little overwhelmed, too. It’s an incredible story.”

I snuggled up beneath the crook of his arm and lay my head on his chest as he prepared to tell the story of Alice’s human life, prefacing it all with the fact that he was only going to hit the highlights tonight, and that Michael and Alice would have to have many long conversations before she would know every detail. She’d expressed that desire, and Michael had graciously said he’d stay in Forks as long as was needed to answer her questions.

“Alice’s parents put her into an insane asylum in Biloxi, Mississippi when she was only five years old, and just left her there,” he said softly, his voice filled with sadness. “They didn’t understand her gift. Neither did their friends and neighbors, so they institutionalized her as a last resort.”

He shook his head, falling silent. He didn’t need to explain his silence. I knew what he was thinking, and I was sure he knew the same about me, even though he couldn’t hear my thoughts. As new parents, we simply could not fathom how anyone could abandon their child. I couldn’t imagine walking away from Renesmee like that.

“Michael was an orderly at the asylum and was working the evening she was admitted,” he continued. “He told Alice his life changed forever the moment she walked through those hospital doors, because…” Edward hesitated, then sighed. “—first bombshell of the evening: she was his singer.”

I wriggled out from under his comforting arm, ignoring the darts of pain in my stomach, and propped myself up on an elbow, looking down at Edward, the astonishment on my face in stark contrast to the resignation in his.

“He confessed to nearly killing her that night, and admitted a constant craving for her blood for a long time after. But his heart ached for such a small child being left alone in that place; he worried over her frailties and her vulnerability because of her age, so he fought his thirst and became her protector. Sound familiar?” He looked at me, sad at first, then with a crooked smile dripping with irony. “’Vampire wants to eat girl.’ Been there, done that.”

“And bought the t-shirt,” I added, chuckling.

His grin dissolved into a small, loving smile. He stroked a cool finger down my cheek. “A man finds strength he never knew he had when he falls in love.” He sighed and dropped his hand. “But it wasn’t like that at first with Michael and Alice. He was her father figure in the beginning. He educated her on his lunch hour for years. He protected her as much as he could without revealing his true nature to the humans around him. He raised her, Bella. Michael was more of a father to Alice than the man who actually sired her.

“But as she matured, feelings changed on both sides. Michael swore to us he never influenced Alice’s feelings one way or the other—I heard the sincerity in his thoughts and confirmed that for her—and that Alice’s affections for him, and his for her, grew naturally out of the close relationship they’d formed through the years.

“Once she reached physical maturity, she begged him many times to help her escape the asylum. He admitted to giving it serious consideration, but in the end had decided against it. There were just too many forces working against him at the time: the Volturi being one, and our very own despicable James being the other: second bombshell of the evening.”

My interest spiked with alarm. “James?? Where does he come into this??”

Edward pecked my nose gently with his finger. “Patience, love. I’ll get there. Then in 1916, a powerful hurricane hit Biloxi head on. They rode out the worst of the storm in an isolation room and then, with all the chaos and panic in the aftermath, Michael saw his chance and took it. He was able to sneak her out of the building unnoticed. They fled temporarily to the damaged home of a nurse friend of his, then from there they went to Atlanta to stay with Daniel.”

“Daniel was around then, too. Hmmm,” I mused, an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

Edward nodded. “It was a strange arrangement. He didn’t go into details, and I basically ignored all of his thoughts about it. I didn’t think that was any of our business anyway. All he said aloud about Daniel was that Alice was very close to him back then. He was a professional artist with a successful business in Atlanta, and on his regular visits to Biloxi he taught her everything he knew about art and design, and of course, with Alice being Alice, she soaked it up like a sponge. She’s always been creative, apparently.” Edward chuckled. “It’s in her DNA. We might as well stop fighting it.”

I tried to imagine a tiny version of Alice drawing or painting, her dark hair falling in her eyes as she bent over her work in concentration. I wondered if they had any photos of her when she was small.

“It was in Atlanta that things took a temporary turn for the worst,” Edward continued. “With Daniel at his side, Michael finally confessed to her his true nature. All her childhood years she’d thought him to be suffering from a rare illness that caused him to be sensitive to the sunlight. When he told her he was a vampire—that both he and Daniel were vampires—she couldn’t accept it. She rejected him, rejected both of them, and then asked to be taken back to the nurse’s home, where she planned to stay for good. He was heartbroken, of course. To be separated from one’s true love is a life like unto hell. Been there, done that, too.”

He sighed sadly, and to comfort him I smothered him in tender kisses to let him know I loved him, and that all of that junk was forgotten and in the past.

“After four months, Alice finally realized she missed him too much to shut him out of her life, as she later told him. She returned to him—he was living in Savannah at the time—and lived with him as his wife.”

A surprised, unintelligible noise erupted from my throat. “Alice was married to him?? Is she guilty of polygamy?”

Edward chuckled at my jumping to conclusions. “No. They were never legally married. They just lived together, until James interfered. Apparently, from what I gathered from Michael’s unspoken thoughts, he and James had a very antagonistic relationship dating back to the 1800s. He didn’t go into details, only that James’ most fervent wish was to see him suffer and to be the cause of that suffering. When they met him one evening in Savannah while out on a walk, he threatened Alice and Michael knew it was time to leave Georgia. They fled that evening to Philadelphia, where Daniel had relocated his business.”

 _Aaah. Philadelphia._ It was all coming together now. Philadelphia was where she’d met Jasper in that diner.

“Things began to happen all at once, or as Michael put it, his past finally caught up with him. Michael and Aro also had some issues between them, going back several centuries, and Aro had finally run out of patience with him. At the same time, James was tracking Alice. He’d followed them from Savannah to Philadelphia without them knowing it.”

I’d looked into James’ horrid red eyes. I’d felt his cold breath on my face as he’d spewed his threats. I had to know. “Skip all the unimportant stuff,” I said, fighting to keep my voice calm so I wouldn’t upset him. “Just tell me straight up. What happened? What did he do to her?”

Edward sighed heavily. “That was the most difficult part of this whole conversation.” He stopped, and I knew he was kicking into overprotective mode. He knew how much Alice meant to me, and I was sure he was debating how much to tell me and how much to hide.

“Don’t protect me. Just tell me all of it.”

Edward’s voice dropped; the words came out slow, quiet and somber. “He tracked her until he was able to get her alone. He raped her and brutally beat her. Michael said she was near death when he found her, so horrific were her injuries.”

The breath left my body in a sudden rush of shock. My heart ached for Alice, even though she was safe somewhere in this house. To think of her helpless and James’ blows raining down on her small body broke my heart and infuriated me at the same time. I could only imagine how Jasper had felt upon hearing that. If the asshole were still alive he’d be counting his life in minutes.

“Wait. Something’s not right with this story,” I said. “James said he killed Alice’s vampire protector, yet Michael is still alive.”

Edward laughed softly. “I raised the same question, as did Jasper and Carlisle. Apparently—surprise, surprise—James was a liar then, and he was still lying in the 21st century. Michael said the man wouldn’t have known the truth if someone had spit it in his eye. He seemed quite pleased to learn of James’ death and he actually laughed uproariously when we told him who’d ripped James’ head from his shoulders. He actually grinned at her across the table and said, ‘Well played, Alice. Well played’. She grinned back and gave him a thumbs-up.”

“Okay, so why doesn’t Alice remember any of this? You can still remember bits and pieces of your childhood. Why can’t she?”

“Come here.” The change in his voice scared me, and also his request to move back into his arms. Edward, I realized, never fully exited out of protective mode where I was concerned. Until I became a vampire, I might as well accept that and learn to live with it.

“Jazz kept quiet during most of the conversation. Only once did he interrupt. He looked straight at Michael and asked him why we should believe a word he was saying. Even with me listening, Jasper rightly pointed out that people could deceive others with their thoughts if they tried hard enough. We all know how good Alice is at hiding stuff from me. Then Michael convinced us he was telling the truth, and afterwards, we all wished we’d never doubted him.” Edward stopped and pulled me closer, hugging me tightly. “He first apologized to Alice for the horrible atrocity he’d been unable to prevent, then went on to explain that when she was twelve years old, the doctors at the asylum sterilized her, sterilized every female of child-bearing age in the hospital. He looked directly at Jasper and told him that if he doubted the truth of his words, an examination of Alice’s body would reveal she had no womb.”

“Oh, dear God.” I couldn’t stop the tears as I imagined someone committing such a violation upon a woman’s body. It was as bad as rape, in my mind. “How did Alice take that? And the stuff with James? Is she all right? I need to go talk to her.” I started the slow process of shifting my weight to get out of bed when Edward stopped me.

“She’s with Jazz, love. She’s fine for now. It was all a shock, but she’s relieved to finally know, and I’m sure she’ll talk to you about it when she’s ready. You _are_ her best friend.” He gathered me back underneath his cool, protective arm. “But to answer your question specifically about why she doesn’t remember—and this is the most astounding part of his story—she can’t remember because he took her memories from her when he changed her.”

My mouth dropped open. “What? How??”

“Michael’s vampire gift is very powerful and unusual. He can manipulate the mind. He can remove people’s memories, either selectively or wholesale, and leave them with no idea of who they are or where they came from, or he can alter them so they remember only what he wants them to remember. Aro coveted Michael ‘s gift; he desperately wanted to add him to his coven. Aro eventually maneuvered Michael into a position of making a choice: either join him or he’d kill someone he loved, and that someone was Daniel. Michael said the choice was easy for him. He went with Aro willingly and was forced, for many years, to use his gift until it overwhelmed his mind and threatened his sanity. That’s why his thoughts are so sluggish. When he takes people’s memories from them, they don’t just disappear into thin air. They transfer to _him._ The man has so many people’s lives inside his head that it takes some time for him to find which one is his and which isn’t. Alice’s entire life is inside that man’s mind.”

That was just unreal and so hard to believe. “He can’t put them back?” I asked, even though I suspected I already knew the answer.

“He says no,” Edward answered. “He then apologized profusely to Alice for stripping her of her memories, but he explained his reasons in detail. He wanted her to have a fresh start without all the bad memories from her childhood: the abandonment by her parents, the abuse she suffered at the hands of staff at the hospital, the fact that she couldn’t have children and the horrible atrocity James committed upon her body. But the most compelling reason, he said, was because he wanted her to forget him. He felt sure he would never return from Volterra alive, so he wanted her to move on with her life without any memories of him.

“His last comments were directed to Jasper. He expressed his sincere happiness at seeing Alice with a man who obviously loved her deeply and there was no reason for Jasper to feel threatened by his presence in Forks. He had two wonderful people in his life whom he loved deeply, and he considered himself lucky, because most people only managed to find one true love in their lifetimes. And that’s it, at least the bare bones of it. I’m sure the actual living of it was a lot worse than the telling,” Edward said, sighing.

“Wow,” was all I could manage, but Edward understood and didn’t ask me to elaborate. What could a person say in response to such a sad and tragic story? But, no romance novelist could have done a better job at giving everyone a happy ending. It had all worked out, just like mine and Edward’s love story.

And now, thinking of Michael’s vampire gift made me wonder what it would be like to have that kind of ability. Would it be a good thing or a curse? In Michael’s case it seemed like a curse, but in my case, I could only wish my gift would be half as powerful as his. I had a precious life to protect, after all. I prayed that it would at least be a useful gift.

“Are you okay?” Edward asked, not even trying to hide his overprotective concern. “It’s all over and everyone seems happy and well-adjusted, so there’s no need to get upset about what happened in the past.”

“But Aro wants you and Alice by his side,” I reminded him. “You told me that, and Daniel told me the man would do anything to get what he wants, even kill, like he killed their son, Matthew.” I took a deep breath, then blurted out what had been weighing heavy on my heart since my conversation with Daniel. “I want to be changed as soon as possible.”

He was only mildly surprised, and his response was nothing like what I’d expected. “All right,” he said smoothly. “We’ll talk with Carlisle and set a date.”

I frowned. “That’s it?? You have no objections?? No talking about all the human things I’m going to miss??”

Edward laughed softly so as not to wake Renesmee. “I’ve actually learned a few things from being married, Bella. And one of them is that my wife is a strong and confident person, and it’s quite possible she might actually know what’s best for her better than I do.”

Admitting that he might not be the best judge of what I should think, say or do was a big emotional step for Edward, and I loved him for it. I hugged him hard, ignoring the twinges of pain in the process. My mind wanted to dig in and start planning my change, along with worrying about how to break it to Charlie and a thousand other things, but I pushed all that to the background to think about later.

“You want to hear about my conversation with Daniel?” I asked pulling away and settling back down against him. 

I explained Daniel’s gift and how he could discern the presence of a potential vampire power in humans just by a hum he heard in their presence, and he could tell the strength of that power by touching them.

“And you know what he said about me?” I asked, smiling smugly down at this beautiful vampire who had annoyed me so many times showing off all his vampire strengths.

“I’m afraid I couldn’t even guess,” he admitted, chuckling.

I searched my memory for his exact words. It wanted to get this right. “He said, and I quote: ‘You are going to be one bad-ass motherfucking vampire chick. Pardon my French.’ He said I had the loudest hum he’d heard in a very long time.”

Edward sucked in a soft, surprised breath. “Well, now I see why he was so interested in you. Does he know what your gift will be?”

I shook my head. “No, but he says it’s going to be powerful. I’m going to kick ass and take names. Emmett better get the hell out of my way,” I said, grinning evilly.

Edward snickered. “Oh, and I am so hoping that he doesn’t. I really want to see you take him down.”

We laughed together, each imagining our own private scenario of Emmett finally having to eat crow. I snuggled deeper beneath the blanket and wished for that day to come sooner, rather than later. It would be fun tossing Emmett around all over the front lawn, but the more important thing would be that I would finally be strong enough to protect my family, and especially my child.

Aro was never going to take what was mine. Not without a fight.

 


	27. No More Secrets

**~ BELLA ~**

When I’d stepped off the plane in Forks, fresh from the sunny blue skies of Phoenix, I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d ever love the color green. But after spending weeks cooped up inside the Cullen’s home—beautiful though it was—I was blissfully happy to be drowning in green, along with tiny tinges of red, yellow and orange sprinkled in between, nature’s subtle hint that fall was just around the corner. Edward had carried me down the stairs, my loud protests that I wasn’t an invalid trailing behind me and echoing through the house, and had deposited me gently onto a chaise lounge on the front porch.

Those of us left behind were busying ourselves in various parts of the house while waiting patiently (or impatiently, in my case) for Leah, Jake, Seth and Carlisle to return from their two errands: the first, to inform the pack about the birth of Renesmee and the fact that she was Seth’s imprint, and the second, to “un-gently” bring Charlie into the supernatural world by letting him witness Jake shifting into his wolf form. Carlisle was tagging along in case Charlie took it badly and needed medical attention. Jake seemed to think it would all work out okay, especially since he planned to get Billy in on the surprise. Me? I was unsure how my conservative law enforcement father was going to take the news that the boy he’d tried to get me to date shifted into a wolf on a regular basis, and the boy he _hadn’t_ wanted me to date, but that I’d married, was a vampire. And let’s not forget that he now had a granddaughter who would be full grown in seven years who could communicate with her thoughts. That was a lot for a person to absorb in such a short amount of time. 

Edward was stretched out on a lounge chair to my left and deeply immersed in a novel. Rhodes was curled up in a lawn chair on my right and crocheting like mad, the needle in her hand working at a speed my pathetic human eyes couldn’t follow. I had no idea people even did that sort of thing anymore. It was so old-fashioned. I tried to remember the last time I’d seen someone crocheting and came up empty.

Michael and Daniel were at the other end of the porch, leaning against the railing and arguing about where they should go once they left Forks. Michael was in favor of going north to the Alaskan wilderness, and Daniel was protesting pretty loudly that he was against ‘having to freeze his balls off just to see a bunch of seals flop around on the ice’.

“They seem to do that a lot,” I commented. “Argue.”

Rhodes lifted her head, glanced their way, then snorted, returning to her work. “Oh girlfriend, you have no idea. It’s constant and over the silliest things. Before we left San Francisco, they argued all day over which mode of transportation we should use. The week before that, they argued over each other’s taste in music. The week before that, it was over what to watch on television. They argue over everything, then have the gall to roll their eyes and make fun of me for my hobbies. But, ‘idle hands do the Devil’s work’, as they say. What they don’t realize is that if my hands weren’t busy doing something, they’d be wrapped around both of their necks on an hourly basis.”

A soft chuckle came from my left; Edward was eavesdropping, of course. I sputtered a laugh, imagining this small woman trying to reach her tiny hands around Daniel’s neck. I wasn’t so sure she couldn’t do it.

She slid her sparkling eyes in my direction and grinned. “But that’s how they show their affection for one another. I know that sounds strange, and it’s definitely annoying to everyone around them, but their quarrels never amount to anything. The next thing you know they’re laughing and rolling around in the floor wrestling like two little boys.” She smiled, her eyes still focused on her work. “Despite all that, I love both of them with every cell in my body. They put up with my ever-changing hair color, my latest obsession-of-the-moment—last month it was yoga, the month before that it was performance poetry—so they have to have a bit of affection for me, too.” She snickered. “There’s never a dull moment in our house.”

“I imagine,” I said, chuckling.

All three of us listened, smiling to ourselves, as Michael calmly told Daniel, in his soft, gentlemanly Old-World voice, that he was a complete dunderhead who lacked any appreciation for the acquisition of knowledge, and who was destined to spend eternity gazing in wonder at his own glorious colon.

Rhodes snickered and murmured, “Translation: Daniel is an idiot who has his head up his ass 99% of the time.”

“If we weren’t guests in this house, I’d kick your skinny intellectual arrogant vampire ass right off this porch for that!”

“Boys!!!” Rhodes barked. Two heads turned our way. “Don’t make me put down this crochet needle.”

“They’re back,” Edward announced calmly, setting aside his book and sitting up.

And of course, they were nowhere to be seen with my useless human eyes. I couldn’t wait until I was able to hear people coming miles before they actually arrived. Everyone else in the house meandered onto the porch in the next few minutes, as I waited anxiously to hear whether Charlie had survived the day, and if he still claimed me as his daughter and wasn’t going to try and murder my husband.

Jake trotted halfway up the steps, and leaning against the railing, he delivered the good news all round. “Well, the pack was shocked about the baby, to say the least, but with her being Seth’s imprint, they had to accept her. So…” He shrugged and grinned. “No more hostilities. No more running perimeters. We’re free to cross the treaty line any time we want now.”

Jasper, always the cautious one, wanted a few more details before he could be satisfied. Jake told us Sam had invited him back to his pack, but Jake had politely declined. He was Alpha now and there wasn’t any way he could go back to being subordinate to Sam. Then Sam had, once again, begged Leah to come back to La Push ‘where she belonged’, which hadn’t gone over well with her. Leah had stood tall and proclaimed she was where she belonged and she had no intention of leaving her position as Jake’s beta. They didn’t even bother asking Seth, of course. They knew from experience he’d never stray far from his imprint. So, it was agreed that the two packs would continue to exist, each with their own Alpha, but there would be no more fighting or resentment between the two. There was also a grumbling and reluctant agreement that the continued hatred between the Quileutes and the Cullens was ridiculous at this point. The Cullens had proven time and again they were no threat to the humans in the area; the only enemy the wolves had were the vampires who used humans as a food supply. Sam conceded as much, but said an official ruling on that would have to come from the Elders.

“What about Charlie?” I asked.

The four of them looked at each other, snickering, and even Carlisle looked amused. “He took it very well,” Carlisle said. “I didn’t even have to pop the latch on my doctor’s bag.”

“He was a little shocked.” Leah—whose face seemed to always be screwed up in a perpetual frown when she was around vampires—nodded and laughed. “But he recovered pretty quickly, considering all the nudity.”

“All the nudity??” I repeated.

Seth grinned. “All three of us shifted. You should have been there, guys. It was epic!”

“Then I told him about us,” Carlisle interjected, chuckling. “That went pretty well, too, even though he’s going to have to buy some more bullets to replace the ones I crushed into powder.”

“We kept asking him if he was okay, if he was upset, or did he need to go to the hospital to get his heart checked out,” Jake said, snickering. “He glared at us at lot, then he actually joked about it at the end. He said, ‘You think this is upsetting? You forget I was married to Renee.’”

A few snickers worked their way across the porch, along with a soft ‘Oh my’ from Esme, and a chuckle from Edward. I could hardly get mad. My dad had a point.

Jake came the rest of the way up the steps, then squatted down in front of me. “But seriously, he told me to tell you that he wants to see you and his new little granddaughter as soon as possible. He misses you, Bells.”

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All the years of keeping these secrets from Charlie had finally come to an end. It would be a relief not to have to lie about stuff anymore.

“Of course, I didn’t mention the fact you want to become a vampire, too.” Jake grinned and winked. “I didn’t want to hog all the fun.”

I growled and tried to kick him in the shin. “Buttface!”

Jake jumped out of the way of my foot just in time then, laughing his cocky ass off, he leaped over the porch railing and onto the lawn. _Ooh, he makes me so makes me so mad sometimes!_

“I think you can do better than ‘buttface’, love,” Edward commented softly, smirking. He left my side to join everyone else on the lawn.

I sat back and relaxed for awhile, watching from the porch while Jake and Seth took turns entertaining Michael, Daniel and Rhodes, who had never seen shapeshifters before. They phased back and forth while our guests oohed and aahed over them like they were celebrities, which only fed Jake’s swollen ego even more. _What a show off. He’s just as bad as Edward._

Carlisle settled down beside me in Rhodes’ vacated seat. “So, I hear you want to be changed as soon as possible.”

I nodded and explained my reasons, even though he hadn’t asked.

“I understand,” he said. “Renesmee has changed the way all of us look at the world, including you. So, speaking as your doctor, I think we should wait six weeks until you’ve fully recovered from the birth. Edward agrees. Is that okay with you?”

“Of course. I trust your judgment,” I said. “Six weeks it is.”

* * *

 

The sun was getting close to the tops of the trees. Jake and Leah had disappeared. Emmett, Seth, Edward and Rose were in the garage talking cars with Daniel. Rhodes and Esme were in the kitchen preparing a snack for me, and Jasper was sitting beside me on the porch, gazing quietly off into the distance. His silences used to bother me, but not anymore. We’d finally grown accustomed to each other. It was nice.

“Do you have any idea where my child might be?” I asked, breaking the comfortable silence. I hadn’t seen her in awhile.

He pursed his lips. “Hmmm. I think the last time I saw her she was glued onto Rose’s shoulder. Or maybe it was Rhodes. Or Seth.” He looked my way and smiled. “Don’t worry, Bella. Whoever has her, she’s fine, and loved, and protected. We’re not going to let any harm come to our newest baby bird.”

He was right, of course, but I tended to get a little paranoid whenever she was out of my sight. “Is Alice okay? I’m worried about her.”

“She’s doing fine,” he answered. “She’s upstairs talking with Michael right now. You don’t need to worry about her. It’s not as bad as it sounds. She doesn’t remember any of what he’s telling her, so she’s not upset or sad about it. I guess it’s like someone telling you about something terrible that happened to some stranger you don’t even know. It’s interesting to hear, but you’re not really invested in the story to the point that it upsets you. I think the one thing that makes her the happiest right now is the possibility that she might have some nieces or nephews still alive in Mississippi. Michael has volunteered to go with us to Biloxi and show her where she was born, and the hospital where she spent most of her childhood—if it’s still standing—and maybe poke around in the courthouse to see what we can find out about any living relatives. She wants to do it, and I support her in that.”

I was happy to hear she was going to Mississippi, but I was going miss her like crazy. She had an annoying—but always interesting—way of taking the boring out of my life. We let our short conversation die as it grew darker. Pretty soon Edward would show up out of nowhere to carry his invalid wife upstairs to bed. I’d grumble and he’d roll his eyes and ignore me, and life would go on in the Cullen household as before. There was comfort in familiarity, and fear in the unknown, no matter how brave a person claimed to be.

“In six weeks, Edward is going to change me,” I blurted out, not sure why I was sharing that tidbit with Jasper. It was my decision; it was what I wanted, and there was no way I was going to change my mind.

He turned to me. His golden eyes seemed to glow in the dimming light. “You’re scared,” he said simply, and of course he would know. He could sense it no matter how brave a front I put up for Edward.

“A little,” I whispered.

I expected the usual sympathetic responses: maybe a pat on the arm, or the assurance that everything would be all right, but he didn’t do either of those things, nor did he offer to use his gift to calm my restless nerves.

“I think it would be helpful if you talked to Daniel about this,” he said. “We’ve had some very interesting conversations since he arrived—among them the particular circumstances behind his change. That’s a topic that’s always of interest to me whenever I meet a new vampire. His memories of it are very vivid and clear, which is surprising. Just like you, he made the conscious decision to become a vampire. Michael tried to talk him out of it, just like Edward did with you. He had a lot of time to emotionally prepare himself for it, just like you’ve had. I think he can give you some valuable insight into the whole process that might help ease your mind.

“Well, your wheelchair has arrived,” Jasper said with a snicker, just before Edward came through the front door and onto the porch. “Don’t whine too much.”

I wrinkled my nose up at him. He laughed and gave Edward a playful punch to the shoulder as he passed him.

Edward scooped me up into his arms and carried me up the stairs. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen our daughter, I’ve forgotten what she looks like,” he muttered, depositing me gently onto our bed.

“Tell me about it,” I grumbled. “I think her hair was sort of reddish, wasn’t it?”

“Was it red? I thought it was brown,” he said as he pulled a clean nightgown out of a drawer.

“And she had blue eyes, right?” I asked, raising my arms over my head so he could remove my shirt.

“Green,” he answered, frowning. “I think. Or were they brown, too??”

He slipped the gown over my head.

“We did have a girl, right?” I asked.

Edward chuckled. “I think so. It’s been so long, I really can’t remember.”

“Go find her, Edward.”

He smiled and bent over to kiss my forehead. “I’m on it, love.”

 

 


	28. Change

**~ BELLA ~**

_**One month later. . .** _

****

The day that I’d been putting off had finally arrived. Charlie was due in an hour for his bi-weekly visit with Renesmee and I had to come up with some way to tell him I was going to become a vampire in two weeks. Edward and Jake had tried to reassure me that he’d most likely take the news as easily as he’d taken the rest of it, but I wasn’t so sure. Even though he was more accepting of his supernatural extended family than I’d thought he would be, he was still my father, and to him I was still his little ‘Bells’.

I burned up some restless energy while I waited by tidying up Renesmee’s room. She was somewhere in the house, but I had no idea where. At this point, all I knew for certain was that, wherever she was, she was safe. Still, I couldn’t wait until my hearing was keen enough that I could easily locate her and satisfy myself she was fine.

I had to smile when I found the little vinyl gun belt, complete with plastic holster and pistol, lying in the floor among a pile of other toys. The tiny badge had to be somewhere nearby. _Aah._ I spied the tip of it sticking out from beneath the ruffle of the love seat. It was a silly gift for a half-vampire child who would eventually be able to tear an attacker to pieces with just her bare hands, but Charlie had gotten me a similar toy when I’d been small. He’d smirked at the look on my face and had proceeded to announce to everyone in the room that if a vampire could be a respected doctor, and work in a hospital without discovery, then his granddaughter could be the Chief of Police. Carlisle had laughed and nodded his approval. I guessed Charlie never gave up hope that someone in the family would follow in his law enforcement footsteps someday.

All things considered, he’d also taken the news pretty well that his granddaughter had already acquired a pseudo-boyfriend at the tender age of two-days-old. Jake had hurriedly convinced him he didn’t need to go get his off-duty weapon out of the car, while Edward had assured him that Nessa was fine and imprinting really wasn’t as creepy as it sounded. After Charlie had settled down and been made to listen to Jake’s explanation—and had also learned who had imprinted on her—he’d finally relaxed and had actually smiled, stating that no better boyfriend could be found for Charlie Swan’s granddaughter than Seth Clearwater. Everyone had sighed with relief. Another hurdle had been cleared.

Now there was just one more left.

* * *

“That little girl is growing like a weed.” Charlie settled down on the love seat while I laid Renesmee down for a nap. “I believe you now when you say she’s going to be full grown in seven years.” He shook his head in disbelief. “You couldn’t sit up on your own until you were something like six or seven months old, and even then you could only manage it for a few minutes. Nessie has been sitting up the whole time I’ve been here!”

“She’s worn out from it, too.” Her eyes drifted shut within moments after I laid her down.

I sat down beside Charlie and tried not to look nervous. I’d spent more than a few sleepless nights trying to figure out how to break this news to him, how to convince my dad that giving up my humanity was the right decision for me. I hoped this worked, because I couldn’t bear to lose him after all of this, and I didn’t want Renesmee to grow up without her PeePaw Charlie.

“I need to tell you something.”

His internal “police radar” switched on automatically out of sheer habit. He studied me with narrowed eyes like I was a suspect in his holding room back at the station. “What’s wrong?”

I hesitated before answering so I could calm the butterflies in my stomach. “Edward is immortal.”

He frowned, but he didn’t say anything, just kept giving me that look.

“Renesmee is immortal, too.” I tried to swallow the nervous lump in my throat. “Jake and Seth might as well be immortal because as long as they’re phasing they won’t age at a normal rate.”

I stopped. He was still frowning, but the crease across his forehead wasn’t quite as deep as before.

“My husband, my daughter, my best friend, and my future son-in-law are all going out to outlive me, Charlie. Do you see my dilemma?” I asked softly, my eyes pleading with him to understand.

He said nothing for the longest time. It felt like hours passed as I waited for his reaction, but it was only a few moments. “I do,” he answered, nodding.

A small bit of relief swept through me, but I needed to be perfectly clear and make sure he understood. “I want to be with my family forever, and to do that I have to become like them. Edward is going to change me in two weeks. I’m going to become a vampire.”

I’d imagined all kinds of reactions: from anger and accusing me of being completely out of my mind to putting his fatherly foot down and ordering me not to do it. I’d never imagined what I was seeing in his eyes at that moment: respect.

He slowly shook his head. “You have got to be the most courageous person I have ever known.”

The tears erupted out of nowhere, partially out of sheer relief that he wasn’t going to explode, but mostly because he’d never said anything like that to me before. It was one thing to be told you were loved—I’d heard that quite often from him growing up—but quite another to be told you were brave, and from the one person you respected the most.

“You’re okay with it?” I asked hesitantly.

He nodded, then chuckled softly. “My only child, my sweet, beautiful Bells isn’t going to die. Why in the world would you think I’d object to that?”

The tension gushed out of me in one huge relieved breath. “Well, Edward did. No matter what you think of him, he was dead set against this from the very beginning.” I grinned and swiped at my eyes. “I wore him down until he finally agreed.”

Charlie smirked. “The guy had no idea what he was up against, did he?”

I laughed softly. “Not a clue.”

We had a short, awkward father/daughter moment until he finally just pulled me into his strong arms and hugged me tight. “I’m not quite as dumb as you think I am,” he murmured into my hair. “I kind of figured something like this was coming.”

I pulled away, astonished.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He shot me one of Charlie Swan’s crooked almost-grins. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I just wasn’t sure if it was possible. And if it was, I had no idea how it was done. I was actually going to ask you about that, but you beat me to it.”

And since he was taking things so well. “Carlisle could change you, too.”

He smiled and reached out to smooth down my hair, like he always used to before he tucked me into bed. “I don’t think so, Bells. If someone had asked me twenty years ago, I might have taken them up on that offer, but I’m a little old and set in my ways to be changing things now. I’d rather just enjoy the time I have left with my family. I don’t plan on checking out anytime soon, so I’ll be around for awhile.”

We agreed that if he changed his mind down the road the offer would still be open, but I could tell he wasn’t going to, and I wasn’t going to push him. If I’d learned anything since I’d moved to Forks, it was that a decision as important as this one could only be made by the person whose life it was going to change.

“What about mom?” I asked. “Should we tell her? And if we do, how do you think she’s going react?”

Charlie scratched his head and rolled his eyes. “You’re asking the wrong guy. I gave up trying to figure out Renee Dwyer a long time ago. But I think she needs to know.”

I nodded. “I agree.”

We discussed it and finally decided to break the news to her during the holidays, either Thanksgiving, or at the very latest, Christmas. Even though Edward swore I’d be extremely volatile in the beginning, I was determined I would have enough control to be in the same room with my human family by the end of the year, if not sooner.

“With everyone here to back you up, she’ll probably take it as good as I did.” He chuckled. “It’s hard not to believe it when you watch three people change into eight-foot wolves right in front of you and your family doctor crushes your ammo into powder with one hand.”

I smiled, kind of wishing I’d been there to see that, but I’d been advised not to go (for health reasons), plus I’d been too nervous over how he’d react to see any humor in it. At least I’d be present at Renee’s reveal, which would be interesting. But Mom could be pretty intuitive at times. She’d noticed something different about us when we’d visited her in Jacksonville, so maybe she wouldn’t be as shocked as we thought.

“Is this going to hurt you?” Charlie asked.

“Yes,” I answered, fighting to keep the quiver out of my voice. “But it’s what I want.”

Charlie studied me for a few moments. Frowned. Then he nodded and kissed my forehead.

* * *

 

 

_**~ One Week Later ~** _

****

It was time to get down to business. My change was one week away and it was all everyone in the house was talking about. Everyone had an opinion on how to make it easier for me. Esme was making preparations for the big day like it was my birthday or something (which had already passed and with very little fanfare, as I’d requested.) Rosalie and Emmett had made plans to take Renesmee on an outing so she wouldn’t be in the house for the worst of it. I’d rolled my eyes and laughed when Alice had informed me she was designing me an “after outfit” and it would definitely be ready by next week. Rhodes was crocheting me a lap afghan. I had no idea why I’d need one, but since she had to keep her hands busy so she wouldn’t choke Michael and Daniel, I didn’t object.

Jasper had finally offered to use his gift to calm my nerves, but I’d politely refused. I didn’t want his vampire version of a tranquilizer. I wanted the truth, and that was what I was about to get. Michael and Daniel had asked that we come to the cottage to discuss the specifics of what I was facing. Daniel was sitting beside me on the sofa, Edward was on my other side, and Michael was in the wing back chair sitting at a right angle to us.

“I’m going to be honest with you, because I think that’s the best way to go.” Daniel grabbed my hand and cradled it gently between his palms. “It’s going to be the worst pain you’ve ever experienced in your life.”

I twisted my wrist around so he could see my scar. “I know. James bit me.”

He rubbed a thumb over the hard semi-circle that would soon disappear forever. “So you’ve felt the burn.”

I nodded.

“Okay. Now imagine that pain amplified a thousand times.”

I sensed Edward stiffen beside of me. He’d hinted at the pain before, but had never really gone into any detail about it. I knew he hated the thought of my suffering, and because of that, he’d purposely avoided the subject every time I’d brought it up, but I wanted to go into this with eyes wide open, and Daniel’s memories of it were the clearest of any of the other vampires in this house.

He looked Edward’s way. “No clothes. She won’t be able to stand anything touching her skin when it gets really bad.”

Edward nodded.

“And talk to her,” he continued. “Don’t ever stop talking to her no matter what. Michael talked to me almost non-stop. I don’t know if I would have made it through if I hadn’t had the sound of his voice to hang on to.”

I glanced at Michael. He was staring at the floor, but he must have felt my eyes on him. He looked at me briefly, then turned his attention to Edward. “Those were the worst hours of my life, up to that point. Even though it was his decision, watching him suffer and knowing I was the cause of it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever lived through. The guilt weighed heavily upon me those three days.”

Edward nodded, as if he understood exactly how Michael had felt. I knew he would have his own pile of guilt to deal with, but I couldn’t let that get in the way of what needed to be done so I could stay with my precious family forever. I grabbed his hand to reassure him.

“Carlisle thinks we can use morphine to help with the pain,” Edward offered.

Michael shook his head. “Won’t work. Pure opiates have been tried, and so has morphine and other opiate derivatives. They have no measurable effect.”

“We don’t need no stinking drugs anyway,” Daniel said, snickering. “Because we have a secret weapon.” He cocked his head in Michael’s direction. “Him.”

All eyes were on Michael now as he explained. “That’s part of my gift. I can manipulate the mind in various ways, but in this instance, I can lessen the pain considerably and make it tolerable. I’m not able to make the process completely painless, unfortunately, but I can promise it will be manageable.”

Edward peppered him with questions, specifically how he could reduce the pain level without the use of medications. His answer? Apparently, Michael was going to tell my mind the pain wasn’t as bad as my mind thought it was, and my mind was going to totally believe him! I had to admit to a tiny bit of doubt.

“I see your skepticism, but I promise you, it works,” Daniel said, and I believed the conviction I heard in his promise. He patted my hand. “You’re going to be fine if you can get through the first five minutes. They’re the worst.”

Michael explained that the venom initially needed to spread throughout my body as quickly as possible, and the best way to accomplish that was a combination of multiple bites near the main arteries, and by allowing the pain to drastically speed up the heart rate. After five minutes, he would do his mind manipulation thing. The pain would lessen, my heart would slow and the venom would finally start its methodical three day journey through every part of my body.

“Bella.” Daniel had my hand in his again. He looked to Edward, including him in what he was about to say. “I want you to know that it’s okay to scream, cry, and even beg for someone to kill you. Michael did it when he was changed, and I did my fair share of it, too, even though I swore I wouldn’t. Those first five minutes are rough. Do whatever you have to do to get through them. No one will think any lesser of you for it.”

I swallowed hard and nodded.

“And there’s one more thing,” Daniel continued. “When your heart begins to slow and death is near, don’t fight it. I panicked, thinking I was really dying and would never see Michael again. All that did was prolong things. So, just relax, let go, and then you’re done.”

“We’ll all be with you, helping you as much as we can,” Edward said softly. Michael and Daniel nodded in agreement.

Then Daniel smiled reassuringly. “And when you open your eyes, you’re going to be so amazed. It’s a different world, Bella, a beautiful world. Just wait until you see it. And if you think Edward is fuck-hot now, you’re not going to believe your eyes when you see him after. The sex is going to be epic, girlfriend.”

I felt the heat of a blush steal up my neck and spread over my cheeks. Edward chuckled softly beside me.

“I apologize for Daniel,” Michael said in that polite Old World voice of his that I so loved. “Apparently I can dress him up, but I can’t take him out.”

Daniel sneered in Michael’s direction while the rest of us laughed. The tension in my body evaporated and my death grip on Edward’s hand relaxed.

“Go ahead and laugh, Michael.” Daniel turned his back on him and faced me again. “I air mailed that man’s skinny ass all the way across the room after he changed me.”

“You did not ‘air mail’ me across any damned room!” Michael sputtered. “You rolled me off you onto the floor!”

Daniel grinned at Edward, then winked at me. “If Edward pisses you off, just pick him up and throw him out the window. Air mail his ass. It’s fun.”

Edward laughed as I tried to imagine me picking him up and throwing him around like he weighed nothing. “Actually, I’m hoping she’ll air mail Emmett,” Edward said.

Daniel guffawed. “Now that’s something I’d like to see. We’ll definitely stick around for that.”

“There’s one more thing we need to discuss,” Michael said, looking uncomfortable. “It’s rather… _delicate_ …in nature.”

Daniel’s mischievousness vanished in an instant. He turned so he could see Michael as he talked. I was so curious because Michael looked like he’d rather be anywhere else at the moment, while Daniel looked like a man deeply in love.

“It’s about the actual…uhm…the bite,” Michael said softly. He shifted his gaze in Edward’s direction. “There’s no way to say this tactfully, so I’ll just say it straight out. Tasting her blood will give you sexual pleasure unlike any you’ve ever had before. I felt very guilty about that...”

Daniel picked up where Michael left off. “…but I told him it was my last gift to him as a human.”

I looked at Edward and I could tell by his intense gaze he was remembering our honeymoon and the two times he’d tasted my blood. He was remembering our talk on the beach about how I wanted to be changed, how I wanted him to take as much pleasure from my body for himself as was possible before the process started.

He nodded and I smiled. “We know all about that,” Edward said softly, his eyes never straying from my face.

I was vaguely aware of Michael and Daniel leaving the room, but I was too absorbed in Edward, in our memories, to care where they were going. The time was finally here. Everything we’d been through since my arrival in Forks had been leading up to this moment: my change.

“Vampire wants to eat girl really, really badly,” he whispered, smirking.

“Girl can’t wait,” I whispered, grinning.

 

 

**And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re reading this, then you’re one of the faithful few who have stuck by me for nearly three years as I plugged away at this story. We made it to the end together. I know there were some readers who wanted more from this story than what I’ve given you, so I wanted to explain why I ended it here.
> 
> It was always my intent for this fic to be mainly focused on Bella and Edward. I was unhappy with BD (the book). I wanted to totally rewrite the bloody birth and have that whole scenario play out in a more logical way. I wanted Jacob’s character to mature more in my story than he did in SM’s. I wanted to give Alice closure about her past in a more realistic way, tying this story in with my other one about her life, In Search of Forever.
> 
> What I didn’t do is provide an HEA for Jacob. This story was never meant to be focused on him, so I don’t feel bad for leaving his life unresolved. I think it’s more realistic that way, actually, because there are no easy answers when it comes to his future. I considered having him imprint on Leah, but in the end decided against it. I would just be doing the same thing that SM did when she had Jake imprint on Nessie: that is to create a contrived HEA for a character just so I could tie a ribbon around the story and say it was finished. So, I will leave Jacob (and Leah’s) futures in the hands of your imaginations (and Team Wolf writers who are so much better than I am at writing wolfpack pairings.)
> 
> From the beginning, the Volturi were never intended to be part of this rewrite. The way I unfolded my story, there is no reason for the Volturi to even make an appearance in Forks. No Tattletale Irina means no Volturi. I had no interest in tackling the “non battle”.
> 
> I also never planned on writing Bella’s actual change. There’s nothing new I could have added to that process (except for Michael’s help with the pain) so I saw no need for me to write all those details. Okay, I could have written the pre-change sex with the blood tasting and awesome orgasms, but I have no desire to write that lemon. I utterly loathe writing lemons these days. If you want to read my version of what I think the vampire change is like, you can find it in Michael and Daniel’s vampire story, The Birth of a Friend.
> 
> Bella’s gift is going to be the same as in the books. I have nothing new to add to that, as I thought her gift was appropriate (and awesome.) I only mentioned it in this story because I just wanted to enjoy the experience (as a writer) of having one of my original characters—Daniel Hart—meet Bella and tell her ahead of time she was going to be a powerful vampire. 
> 
> Thanks to all of you for reading and for your lovely comments through the years.


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